The City of Insanity
by Thugs Bunny 009
Summary: To think he wanted to be an upstanding shinigami and scout out a city not named Karakura for once. Gah. He set foot in quite possibly the City for Escapees from the asylum and now he has a redhead girl on his ass hounding him to teach her his abilities. Fuck his life. IchigoXfem!Ranma
1. Slack-Jawed Shitless

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Ranma 1/2**

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 _The City of Insanity_

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 _Slack-Jawed Shitless_

"Man. Never thought I would be saying this, but it actually feels kinda good to be back on hollow patrol duty after the whole Midget-rescue operation." An orange spiky-headed teen said to a giant of a teen with wryly amusement in his hazel eyes, dressed in a full black shihakusho with the hakama-pants sustained to his waist by a white sash.

On his feet were a combination of white socks and wooden sandals, though the lanky, slightly muscular teen's most distinguished item was a lengthy long shark-tooth esque bandaged cleaver strapped across his back via a red rosary going across his chest.

And that was true too. Before invading the enemy's territory, the Substitute Shinigami thought keeping the streets clean of its infection problem was the bane of his existence. Nowadays, he was not only willingly volunteering to hunt down hollows, but he was venturing out of the parameters of his hometown with backup to do it!

He guessed the moral of his story was, appreciate your current circumstances without wishing for more (or less) because you just might end up biting off more than you can chew.

He even beefed up enough during his recent triumphed ordeal that his sisters took notice to his increase in body mass. That was quite the awkward conversation to have all things considered.

"Hm." Ichigo's amigo hummed, coming past the already tall teen's shoulder to essentially dwarf him in height. Contrary to Ichigo's fair peach skin his skin complexion was a dark tan. Wavy, thick dark red locks of hair masqueraded his bland eyes, essentially confining his stoical expression to an emotionless one. Stubble even sat situated on his chin.

His huge broad-shouldered physique was accentuated by his sleeveless blue vest top that was decorated with a red stripe running from the shoulder to his hip. Black trousers and sneakers almost finished off his appearance. The older-looking teen's most distinguishable accessory was a gold coin wrapped around his neck.

"You sure you're okay with that?" He asked succinctly and a deep, monotone voice, removing his view from the fence blocking entrance to a canal they were walking by to elucidate further with only a single gaze of one of his impassive eyes, "Ichigo."

Ichigo knew what his uncommunicative companion was trying to convey. Even before they experienced the Soul Society ordeal, Ichigo had been able to ascertain his giant friend's thought process even with the few succinct sentences he gave him to work with.

"Sure," He confirmed confidently, gazing to the sky with a longing fondness held within his pupils, "As long as the midget's safe that's all that matters to me."

"Hm."

"You're so uncute!"

Blinking blankly, Ichigo traced the loud tone of aggravation back to the fence. Two unremarkable looking teens were now before the two, proverbially at each other's throats, a male balanced casually on the thin railing of the fence and a girl marching alongside him on the ground, sending him a glare which he returned without hesitation.

"Uh. Some balance," Ichigo said, more to himself than to them. Neither of them heard him, too engrossed in their petulant altercation to take note to their surroundings.

"Oh shove it Ranma!" The blue-haired girl snapped, identifying the black-haired boy as Ranma.

"Only if you shove it first, tomboy!" Ranma yelled, causing Ichigo to lift an eyebrow at his description of the girl.

'Was that meant to be an insult or something?' He wondered strangely, observing the dubbed tomboy's appearance. From his observation there was nothing even remotely tomboyish save for her initial aggression about her, but that was like calling Rukia or Rangiku "tomboyish" just because they had a tendency to lose their temper.

There wasn't even an ounce of muscle on the girl's curvy body, and her long slender, delicate arms were held below her waist so her soft hands could hold her bag in a ladylike fashion. A crop of blue hair neatly fell to her shoulders, and she sported a long sleeveless blue dress underneath a white-collared blouse, though Ichigo guessed her current attire was her school uniform going by her business-bag.

"Stupid jerk!"

"Uncute tomboy!"

"Dry up and die!"

"Aiyyaa!" A new female bubbled, springing into the vicinity. Quite literally as the wheel of her bicycle landed squarely on Ranma's face.

Even Chad struggled to hold back the cringe his body wanted to do at the audible "crunch" sound that echoed from Ranma's flattened mug.

Ichigo, even however, was not as controlled as Chad was, "Ow! That's gotta hurt," He winced indistinctly whilst the audacious girl with even lighter blue hair than the dubbed tomboy ricocheted off of Ranma's face, landing on the ground, "Where the hell did she even come from anyway, the woodwork?"

"Beats me," Chad shrugged, more curious to know how the two of them had become so engrossed in watching this clown show play out. It reminded him of the time when they were watching that faux ninja show of a shunned boy and how inexplicably immersed they were in watching a creepy sensei and student hug each other in one of the episodes.

That was most uncomfortable for the two.

"Darn it, Shampoo!" Ranma winced, further increasing Ichigo's confusion, "What'd ya do that for?!"

'Who names their kid after a hair-product?' The orange haired Shinigami deadpanned, gauging the frivolous girl's reaction. She barely, if at all, acknowledged Ranma's anger, merely choosing to flex her luscious figure. Had Ichigo been more observant of a woman's figure he would've noticed hers was more curvaceous than the mistakenly dubbed tomboy's, and her bust was bigger than hers too.

He wasn't, so he didn't notice such advantages Shampoo had over her rival, though he did take notice to the rather unusual design of her hairstyle. Two hair muffs sat on top of her long sea blue hair, two strands with two red ribbons tied at the ends of them framed her brightened visage.

"Shampoo on delivery run," She stated, tapping the bundle of wrapped food in her bucket. Her broken Japanese speech mechanisms and usage of the first person earned her a bizarrely raised eyebrow from one of their audience members.

"Who the hell speaks like that?" Ichigo deadpanned.

"Must be from another country," Chad rationalized.

"Sounds kinda like a spaz."

"Great. What else is new?" Ranma asked, earning himself a smirk from Ichigo at his fine usage of sarcasm.

'Sarcastic bastard.'

"Then Shampoo come back, marry Ranma-airen!"

"I ain't marrying ya!"

"Grr!" The shoulder-length blue-haired girl's already short fused had long since blown out.

"Gah! What now, Akane!" Ranma demanded.

"Ranma you jerk! You can take your tramp and go die then! See if I care!" She stacked her arms to her sides stiffly.

"She's being really rational," Ichigo sarcastically remarked with the driest expression imaginable on his face.

"Jealousy?" Chad ventured to guess.

"I get that she likes the guy in some way, really I do, but it just seems stupid to me to jump to conclusions when he hasn't even confirmed to like the other girl in the way she's insinuating he does," Ichigo explained.

"Hm."

Shampoo placed her hands on her hips, a vulpine smirk tugging at her lips, "Angry-girl knows airen destined to be Shampoo's."

If only looks could kill. Akane would've sold her soul to the devil just for the capability of her scathing glares being enable to incinerate any unfortunate individuals like death beams of doom, "Oh please!" She scoffed, sticking her finger into her mouth and pretending to retch, "I could care less if you and that knucklehead grow old and grey together!" Her expression dried up in annoyance as she mockingly urged, "So have fun on your honeymoon."

"Gee. Thanks for the vote of confidence there, Akane," Ranma returned, drawing a glare from Akane, though before the narrow-minded, hot-headed tsundere could retort another escapee from the mental institution miraculously sprinted onto the scene.

"Oh!~ Beauteous Akane Tendo," A handsome boy recited as suavely as he could, ignoring Akane's increasingly sulky look to instead place his wooden sword on his shoulder.

"Where are these crackpots all coming from?" Ichigo shook his head in disbelief. Even Chad couldn't just passively watch all of these mentally ill individuals appearing out of nowhere without one of his eyes coming into view.

"Oh! How have I long to see thee!" He insisted in a tone he thought was charming as he attempted to bring Akane into his embrace only to get punched in the face in return, staggering him backward, "Dearest Akane Tendo, why is it thee continue to resist salvation from the mighty Tatewaki Kuno?"

"She doesn't like ya, jackass," Ichigo bluntly inputted, and for the first time the group of assembled mentally challenged individuals took notice to his and Chad's presence.

"Where those guys always there?" Ranma asked blankly, not sure who he was speaking to as he pointed to the freakishly tall duo, "Man, they're tall as hell."

"Oh I see," Kuno said, a look of sobered realization flashing across his face.

"See what, the error of your ways? What a turnover," Ichigo said sarcastically, drawing a smirk from Ranma at his appropriate utilization of sarcasm, "No shit, genius. It's as clear as day she doesn't like ya."

Kuno chuckled malevolently, "Yes, I see now. The beauteous Akane Tendo hast been bewitched by thee!" He declared dramatically, jabbing a finger at Ichigo's completely gobsmacked expression. There was a fine line between ignorance and stupidity, and this wacko had long since traversed that line from the extremely shallow ends of ignorance and into the immensely deep ends of stupidity.

"What!" Akane shouted, flabbergasted, "I don't even know him!"

"Geez Kuno. This is a new level of stupidity even for you."

"Hehe. Kendo-boy keep finding ways to amaze us."

Kuno blanked out the general mockery of his intellect as though they were never uttered in the first place. He didn't give a damn how others viewed his actions, just as long as _he himself_ viewed his own actions as morally right and honourable then a lucky fair maiden could win a date with a man of his _magnificent_ station if they bet they were indeed honourable.

"I don't even know what to say," Ichigo remarked tiredly, 'This guy makes Keigo look like a genius.'

"Silence!" Kuno demanded, extending his sword to Ichigo, "For I may smite thee down for thee treachery of tainting the _magnificence_ of the beauteous Akane Tendo!"

"You sure that's a good idea?" Ichigo asked, his slothful gaze morphing into a sharp penetrating glare of interrogation that evoked a wince from Ranma and a gasp from the ladies. Gripping the handle of his Zanpakuto, Ichigo brandished his cleaver before him, the bandages magically unfurling themselves.

"Holy crap!" Ranma gaped, mirroring Akane and Shampoo's own shock-faced expressions, "That sword's large!"

"Fool! Wouldst be foolish enough to believe the size of the weapon can compensate for thy lack of authentic skill?!" Kuno bragged, making a bee-line to Ichigo, though in comparison to the elite warriors he had fought in the Soul Society Kuno might as well had been moving at a snail-paced speed, "Prepare to be vanquished!"

Had Ichigo been a heartless warrior, he would've simply lobbed the deluded mock samurai's head off and called it a day. As far as Kuno's safety was concerned he wasn't, but that didn't mean he took to being attacked well. He merely spun his blade around, smashing the blunt end through Kuno's wooden sword and into his torso, repelling him back to the fence with enough force to send him directly through it. The tremor to the fence offset Ranma and he eventually fell into the canal after a futile attempt to maintain his balance.

"Hey-! Darn!"

*Splash.*

"Ranma!" Akane screamed, her emotions doing a complete 180.

"Airen!"

"Woops," Ichigo verbalized bashfully, sheathing his sword and moving to the lovely hole he made in the fence with Kuno's body, his arm reaching up to his head, "Hey, uh. Sorry about tha-."

"Darn it!" Ichigo's apology was short cut by an unexpected feminine screech of exasperation from the direction of the teenage boy. The boy's gruff voice sounded anything but feminine to him before his accidental fall within the canal, so some kind of messed up metamorphosis had to occur.

And it did.

Either that or Ichigo was catching the insanity in the air within this crazy town the moment a red-haired girl with the same blue eyes, braided-style hair, orange sleeved shirt and blue trousers Ranma possessed leaped out of the water, glaring furiously at Ichigo.

"Uh. Chado?"

'Chado?' Akane softly breathed out. What kind of name of sheer eccentricity was Chado? Actually, it wasn't that the name itself was weird, it was just that the name "Chado" in the Japanese language was odd in of itself, though considering all of the bizarre occurrences she had been greeted with since Ranma stepped into her life a white boy's name like Chado on a Japanese individual wasn't at all unbelievable to her.

"Yeah?"

"You seeing this, man?"

"Yeah."

"Good. So I'm not catching the freaky insanity," Ichigo sighed in relief.

"You're gonna catch sumthin if I have sumthin ta say 'bout it, jerk!" The fiery redhead yelled.

"Look, I said I was sorry," Ichigo snapped, propping his hands on his hips, "What more do ya want?"

"Well, sorry ain't good enough, pal!" She stated, lunging in on Ichigo with a roundhouse kick, only for the teen to do the inexplicable; dodge an angry girl's blow, letting her slide on her heels, 'What the-?' That was shocking. For as long as Ranma could remember whenever she had angered females in either form she had been powerless to stop them from giving her, her just desserts.

"Hey, stop that!" Ichigo demanded, only to stick his foot in his mouth, "I don't fight girls!" Not named Tatsuki.

Ranma bristled in anger, "How dare you!" She screeched, launching a barrage of attacks at her new adversary, which he swerved away from with an awkward expression on his face, "I ain't a girl!"

"Yeah, well, you look like a girl to me."

"Shaddap!" She chased him down the street, leaving the others just standing around trying to comprehend what in the actual fuck just occurred.

"Ginger-boy good," Shampoo said breathlessly, "Dodge airen's attacks like nothing."

Akane's face scrunched up in frustration, having already drawn an conclusion of her own, that being Ranma wanting to charm the powerful young man for his skills, "Stupid perverted Ranma!"

Chad lifted an eyebrow, wanting to contemplate the possibility of the girl always being angry at the bizarre she-male, but was interrupted from doing so by the gentle tap of an index finger he got on his muscular arm.

"Excuse me sir," Akane's heart clenched.

Chad glanced downward, and already ascertained this newcomer was another uneducated fellow just by the fact he held up a map upside down, 'Another one?' The boy lowered his map, showing Chad two dark brown eyes of naive innocence slightly covered by the bangs of his messy crop of black hair thanks to his distinguished yellow bandanna wrapped around his forehead. Other features and clothes about the lost-boy included his light tan complexion, yellow sleeveless tank-top, dark blue pants, red umbrella sheathed into the straps of his backpack and black shoes fitted on his feet.

'Whoa, he's huge!' He gaped, now truly aware to the enormous shadow he was in. Mustering up some courage he asked politely, "Um. C-Could you point me in the direction of Nerima, sir?"

Akane held back a giggle behind her hand whilst Shampoo gaped. Her Ryoga was such a silly boy she couldn't help but adore him.

Chad pointed, promptly getting Ryoga to trace his finger down, "Here."

"Eh?"

"Oh Ryoga-kun," Ryoga froze up at the playfully angelic voice he had come to cherish so, slowly turning his head to find his angel bathed in an ethereal white luminescence that only accentuated her beauty, her eyes filled with warm fondness sparkling at him, "What am I going to do with you, huh?" She joked, shaking her head.

"A-Akane-san!" He yelped.

'Sounds like Ichigo,' Chad related, watching Akane quickly round to Ryoga's side, tying her arms around his muscular one.

"Oh Ryoga-kun," She breathed dreamily, and Ryoga could feel the rapid beats of his heart drumming against his chest heavily, "I know you'll never leave me, _unlike_ some people."

"Eh?" Confusion marred Ryoga's beet red countenance, "Did that ingrate Saotome run off somewhere?" Yeah that was just like his cowardly rival, running off instead of facing his problems like a man.

When Akane stared into Ryoga's eyes, Chad noticed the soft, docile and innocent look held within her orbs, a complete contrast to the self-assured anger that adorned them in Ranma's presence. It made Ryoga's stomach churn, "C'mon, Ryoga-kun. Let's head to mine. You can try my cooking."

He didn't know what he was more upset about. It was toss-up between the blatant insinuation that meant nothing given her innocent look or the fact he would've had to eat her cooking. Hey, he loved Akane with all his heart but even he had his limits, damn it! And her cooking was his limit. It was awful!

"Sure," He agreed, giving Chad an appreciative nod, "Well, thanks, Big-guy." That said, the two potential lovebirds were cheerfully waved off by Shampoo.

"Bun-Bye! Send Shampoo postpone from honeymoon!" She bubbled, her cheery expression quickly hardening into a deviously smug one, "Good! With stupid angry-girl and stupid lost-boy hooked up, Shampoo be one step closer to marrying her airen! No one stop her!"

"Shampoo, oh Shampoo!"

He certainly wasn't going to stop her, especially if he just blindly runs up and hugs the first man in sight, that being the silent giant in this case. His arms could only embrace so much of Chad's massive physique.

"Oh Shampoo, since when did you get so big?" He said, creeping Chad out, though it didn't show on his face. Shampoo had to admire his composure.

Dislodging the long-haired, white-clad potential resident of the asylum with an index finger pushed into his forehead, Chad bluntly said, "Got the wrong person."

"Eh?" He asked stupidly, knocking down the thick coca-coca lenses perched on his forehead with his thumb. Why he never just properly wore his glasses was beyond Chad. It seemed essential with the threat that he could accidentally hug up a man without realizing it, "Oh, sorry sir!" He said, terribly embarrassed. Chad nodded, dismissing the incident. The boy nodded, turning to his beloved, his expression brightening anew, "Oh Shampoo!~"

As he lunged, he was sent on a one-way trip to the stratosphere by Shampoo's foot, "Stupid Mousse!" She raged, "When you learn Shampoo no like you!"

"Yeah," Chad said, backing up, "I'm just going to leave now."

And never, never, never, ever come back to this crazy town.

Ever.


	2. The Wonders of Trolling

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Ranma 1/2**

 **BIG SHOUT OUT to my man** **Dragon king Azi Dahaka!** **You. Are. The. Man. Why? You brought that brilliant main character, Ikayoi, to my attention. That guy's badass, you can bet your ass I'll soon be writing a story with him as the main character, hell yeah. Thanks, dude. You're awesome.**

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Furious beeps of voluminous horns echoed out through the crowded highway, as Ranma tenaciously continued her pursuit of Ichigo, swerving her way through the still cars in a mazy fashion, paying no heed to the fact the angry drivers only demanded her and her alone to move out of the way as though the orange-headed young man was invisible.

After all, this wasn't the first time Ranma had the blame pinned on her. The girl had become so use to being the scapegoat of every little circumstance under the sun she had essentially become numbed to it by now.

"Quit running, will ya?" She hollered.

Ichigo glanced over his shoulder, his face marred with desperation, "Quit chasing me damn it!" He retorted, having never known anyone so persistent in his life. Even the sun called it a day, leaving the stage so the moon could partially light up the night sky, 'Note to self, never leave Karakura Town again!'

"Oh you would like that, wouldn't ya?" Ranma smirked with a knowing manner, "Well, tough luck, pal! I ain't gettin' off of your butt 'till I kick it to the sky!" She chortled, drawing a sigh from Ichigo.

"Do you always talk like that?" He dryly asked, hopping onto the railing of the motorway and soaring away. Surprisingly, the girl was still able to naturally trace his movements, the two high-flyers gliding over to a high skyscraper.

"What's that supposed ta mean huh?" Ranma asked defensively, following Ichigo from rooftop to rooftop as though they were mere skipping stones.

Ichigo twisted himself around, moving backward so the redhead could see his bored expression of dry disinterest, "Oh really?" Had her slangy speech mechanisms become so natural for her that she didn't even realize it anymore? "You really don't know?"

Ranma bristled, not liking being ridiculed, "Why you-?" She pushed forward, sending another bombardment of attacks at Ichigo, which he casually danced away from, the refreshing breeze fabricated from the girl's attacks hitting his sides.

"This song-and-dance again?" He deadpanned.

"Yes, this song-and-dance again! And I ain't gonna stop 'till I've creamed your butt!"

She did stop when the raspy, deep demonic voice of a distorted creature entered the vicinity. There were two interpretations for why such an occurrence played out to give Ichigo a break from the girl's tenacious pursuit, which were fate being kind on Ichigo or fate just screwing with Ranma.

Like it always did!

" **GWOOSH!** " It roared nonsensically, promptly causing Ranma to freeze with a start.

"What the-?" With a cringe, Ranma jerked her head over her shoulder, her light blue eyes widening at the sight of a broad-shouldered, robust coal-skinned creature with two bear-like ears situated on its head, growling at them in a stereotypical bogeyman pose, "What the heck is that thing!?" The most distinguishing feature she could ascertain of the silhouetted creature was its white-mask and two distinctive voids acting as its eyeballs.

Within them two yellow spherical orbs flashed as though they were its pupils.

"A hollow," Ichigo explained bluntly, combing his hand through his hair with a sigh of relief escaping his lips, 'Perfect timing.' Really, he was getting bored of being the mouse on the end of Ranma's cat chase. Who would've guessed?

"A hollow!?" Ranma said, even more confused, "The heck's that!?"

Unfortunately, the hollow wasn't the kind of stereotypical villain who had the strange common courtesy to just let the heroes chat and discuss strategies to defeat it and consequently lunged at them with speeds Ranma struggled to track, " **Me so hungry!** "

"What?!" Ranma sputtered, trying to ignore the warmth of her target's embrace as he parcelled her up in his arms.

"Look out!" Ichigo exclaimed, taking them off of the building roof, leaving the hollow to dent its surface as he fluttered them to the ground, "Goddamn hollow."

Quickly stepping out of Ichigo's radius, Ranma rubbed her arm, "S-So, how are we gonna beat that thing, pal?"

Ichigo glanced at the suddenly shy girl suspiciously avoiding his gaze in a quizzing fashion, 'Eh? What's her problem?' He didn't know, "Don't worry," Though what he did know was that he was going to ensure her safety, "I will protect you!"

Ranma glanced back at Ichigo with a start and a gasp. There was that darn warmth again. Just how the heck did he expel it anyway? And those eyes, those penetrating hazel orbs of interrogation he used to mentally coerce Kuno held such strong resolve they almost made her knees weak.

However, her own pride kept her from settlling as a damsel, even if she did admire his integrity, "Ha! Dream on, pal!" An violet upheaval of earth signalled the hollow's landing and Ranma swerved around elegantly to meet it head on with an aura of confidence.

"Eh?"

"I don't need your protection!" She smirked, parking a hand on her hip, "What do ya take me for anyway, Princess Peach?"

"Ummm." Was that meant to be a question? Because he didn't know how to answer it. Dealing with a girl in a manner that wouldn't leave her feeling insulted was far too complex of a situation for the simple warrior to comprehend. If he couldn't handle a situation with his own power in a straight-forward fashion he was slumped.

Apparently, Ranma sensed Ichigo's hesitation because she demanded, "Don't you dare answer that!"

Well that was kind of contradictory.

" **Me so hungry!** " The hollow charged forward, reinstating Ranma's smirk.

"C'mon then buddy," With a quick beckoning of her two-fingers, she sped forward to meet him half-way, ignoring Ichigo's cry of "Wait damn it", "I've got yer can of whoop right here, all ready to be served. Hope you enjoy."

There was no miraculous Fairy Tale victory for Ranma that could force Ichigo to reevaluate his opinion of her strength. With a mere bitchslap, she was swatted away like a fly, her momentum carrying her into the side of a building where an ever-so intricate Ranma-shaped hole was now engraved.

"Darn it!" She had never felt anything so painful in her life. Even pig-boy's punches _paled_ in comparison to this creature's. Her vision was blurry, but not blurry enough to masquerade the incoming creature's figure. Seeing it again after firsthand experiencing its strength caused a fear Ranma had never known to swell up inside of her, "Uh. What's say we call it a night… hehe." She tried to joke.

"I told you to wait!" If this was anime, her eyes would've bulged so far out of her head the redhead was sure they could've reached the other side of the street. This reality wasn't as trippy as anime, but her eyes were widened in shock at the unnatural materialization of Ichigo now before her pancaked form.

"What the-?" She gasped, 'How'd he get 'bee-four me so quickly?' If his speed wasn't enough to mesmerize her, his outrageous strength certainly was. With a simple swipe of his cleaver, his sword went through the hollow like a hot knife through butter, though instead of gushing blood like any normal eviscerated creature would've done, it dematerialized in a myriad of blue fireflies-like particles that vanished shortly afterward, "Wow. Talk about wacky, huh?"

Ichigo sighed, situating his cleaver on his back. Ranma diligently noted the bandages concealing his blade once again seemingly on their own accord, "Idiot," He said, though the lack of any actual malice or harshness caused Ranma to look down bashfully, "Didn't I tell ya to hold still?" He turned to her with concerned eyes of warmth.

Ranma gulped a lump down her throat, mustering up a grin. This alien concept of others, especially a guy, just being nice to her for the sake of it was completely foreign to her, "Yeah, well. Thought I could handle the thing myself," She said as Ichigo gently pried her from the wall, "I ain't the kinda guy who can sit idly by while others do the work for him, y'know?" She dusted herself off.

"I understand that," Ichigo assured, cocking his head to the side to rub the side of his neck in an awkward manner at the girl's usage of the male pronoun, "But attacking an unknown enemy's just dumb."

"I see your point," Heaving a sigh, a confident smile curved across her lips, "But don't worry, next time I'll knock a hollow-thing's block off for sure," She held her thumb up, swiping it across the tip of her nose, "I never lose twice."

"Ah-uh," Ichigo sarcastically donned, feigning bored interest, "Well that's all well and good, but if you ain't got a Zanpakuto you won't able to dice-up a hollow."

"Zanpakuto?" Ranma blinked.

Ichigo half-turned, jerking his thumb over his back to the tip of his Zanpakuto, "This thing. This is a Zanpakuto used to purify hollows."

"I see," Ranma said, wrapping an arm around her sides to rest her free elbow upon her arm, cupping her chin, "But is there any other way to cream a hollow?"

"You could be Chad."

"As in…"

"Be strong as all hell."

"Got ya," Ranma confirmed with a lopsided grin on her lips, "'N Chad would be the Big-guy with ya before, right?"

"Yeah that's him," Ichigo clarified with insouciance. Chad could handle himself.

"How'd he get a name like 'Chad' anyway? Guy looks Mexican."

"He is, but everyone around here calls him Chad, and I call him Chado."

"Why?"

Silence.

Even the chill of the night was audible.

"Good question," Translation: He had no clue himself, "Any other questions?"

"Just one," Ranma grinned innocently at Ichigo's look of annoyance. She couldn't quite put her finger on it but there was just something about pestering him that just felt so amusing, "By 'purifying a hollow,' what do ya mean exactly?"

"Exactly as it's implied," Ichigo sighed, wondering where Rukia was at a time when she was needed most. He would do his best to summarize the details as briefly as he could, "Shinigamis cleanse hollows of their sins and send 'em on to heavens." Near enough. Sheesh. This explaining stuff was hard. As much as it pained him to admit, he had a better appreciation for the midget's crappy drawings.

"Oh!" Her mouth opened up, only to snap shut again, "Wait. What?"

"Shinigami," Ichigo jerked a thumb at his head, "Me."

"Wait. Hold up," Slowly, she pointed at Ichigo, "If you're a Shinigami, then what are ya doing here? Shouldn't ya be in like, heaven or sumthin?"

"Well, I'm not really a full Shinigami," He shook his head at Ranma's inquisitive expression, "It's a long story, and I really haven't got the patience to go into all the details. Just know I got my powers under extenuating circumstances."

Ranma held back a snicker, "It's cool," She folded her arms behind her head, "I ain't got any patience either, pal."

"Thanks for being so understanding," He replied unthankfully.

"You're welcome," Ranma returned, letting her arms droop to her sides, "Still, if ya got your grim reaper powers under unique conditions, does that mean any ol' human could become a kickass death god?"

"Uh," He could see the hope gleaming within her sparking azure-hued eyes, and didn't have the stone-cold heart to straight-up tell her there was a seventy percent chance she could die by attempting to acquire Shinigami powers, "Probably." Besides, theoretically, if he could successfully assimilate Rukia's power without dying in the process then why couldn't she? She was as much as a main character as he was, after all.

Main character protection rights and all that jazz.

…He just wished he hadn't fed her hope though.

One second her legs left the ground, and the next they were conjoined firmly behind Ichigo's back just above his rear in a cross, her arms wrapped around his torso.

"W-What a-are ya doing?!" Ichigo stuttered, unintentionally giving the flirtatious girl more incentive to press on her seduction of him with his blushing face.

"You said probably, didn't ya?" She smugly asked, eyeing her prey with mischief glinting within her eyes. Ichigo stiffly nodded, his throat feeling inexplicably dry, "So then, teach me!" She bridged the gap between their faces, setting her nose against Ichigo's as his breathing deepened, "I'm sure we can work out my payment. Don't you?"

"I," Ichigo's mouth flopped like a fish.

"How cute!~" Ranma teased, "Put a sword in your hand and you're a he-man. Put a girl in front of you and you're the model dork!~" She chortled.

"Hey, damn it!" He complained, squirming to get her off, but not squirming enough, "You said… y-you were a guy anyway."

"Well, that's true," Ranma admitted, not bothering to dodge the bullet, "But I'm a girl right now, ain't I?" She grinned anew.

"I-I guess," Ichigo murmured.

"Would ya say I'm a pretty girl?" Ichigo's blush brightened, evoking hearty laughter from Ranma, "You're too easy!" She flipped away from Ichigo, skilfully landing on the ground with her hands on her hips, watching him wheeze bent over at the waist, "You okay there buddy? You're almost as lousy as pig-boy is at coping with a girl coming onto ya."

Ichigo mustered up a glare Ranma's way, getting a look of faux-innocence from her in return, "Oh screw you!" He said, "How'd ya even end up as a freaky half boy, half girl anyway?"

"It's a long story," Ranma smirked at using Ichigo's words against him, causing him to scowl, "If ya got time maybe I'll tell ya."

"Fine," He groused, pivoting on his heels, "My little sister's probably made supper by now. Come. You can spill the beans there down at my place."

Ranma's eyes gleamed with opportunity, " _Oh_ , you're inviting me to dinner at your folks' place already, eh?" Ichigo flinched, knowing he walked right into that one, "You don't beat around the bush around, eh?" She asked satirically, "You must really wanna put a ring on my finger."

"That's not what I meant!"

Ranma laughed blithely, "I know, I know. It's just fun screwing with ya," She sauntered past the scowling Ichigo, looking over her shoulder with a saucy smirk etched on her face, "Though I bet cha would like to 'screw' me wouldn't ya stud?"

"Urge to kill…" He looked constipated, "Raising!"

"Gee. Are ya taking a crap or trying to go Super Saiyan?" She taunted before a look of realization flashed across her face, "Oh yeah! I almost forgot."

The tension in Ichigo vaporized, leaving him looking bored, "Like what?" He all but demanded, expecting the girl just to sexually needle him again. That was why he was completely thrown off by the actual question she asked that had nothing to do with whether or not he found her attractive.

"What's your name fella?"

He collapsed to the ground with his legs sticking up.

"Is it sumthin I said?"

"Fuck me."

In hindsight, it probably wasn't such a good idea to utter such an insinuation, even sarcastically, to a vixen just looking for chances to needle him.

"Sure thing, but after dinner. Might as well get a head start on obtaining a mastery of patience."

...As Ichigo found out the hard way.

"Damn it!

XxX

City of Insanity

 **T**

 **W**

 **O**

The Wonders of Trolling

(Crazy Town – With Chad)

The first thing Chad wanted to do when he declared his desire to leave Nerima was just that; leave. And he was going to leave too, until one of the resident crazies immediately started tailing him. That was problematic for many reasons, the main one being if he led one to Karakura Town her presence could evoke a chain-reaction that could potentially infect Karakura with Nerima's insanity.

Chad didn't doubt that possibility for a minute.

The instance the first two showed up, others just randomly started popping up until a full-blown wacky extravaganza was transpiring before him and his best friend, Ichigo.

No siree.

Chad didn't know whether it was Akane, Ranma or even both that were the initiator or initiators of the screwy occurrence, he just knew even one resident from this town in Karakura was one too many for anyone's sanity.

He sincerely hoped Ichigo was able to shake his own pursuer, because he was struggling to convince his own to terminate their unnatural alliance.

Contrary to Ichigo, Chad had patience in abundance, but even his nigh unbreakable patience was beginning to wear thin as he led his follower on a pointless meander around Nerima.

Nightfall had already come for Pete's sakes.

"Where you going?" Shampoo asked impatiently.

"Hm."

"Shampoo want to reunite with her airen!" She stated, crossing her arms, "He chase your friend, so if she sticks close to you, you lead her straight to him." That was a pretty clever tactic all things considered.

Chad didn't think anyone here could comprehend the "complexity" of strategy, but even still there was one flaw in her logic Chad couldn't help but point out, "I'm not heading to Ichigo."

"Eh?" Shampoo blinked.

"It's late," Chad mumbled with a shrug, "I'm going home. Ichigo should be at his now, I assume."

"You can't!" Shampoo denied vehemently, "Quiet Gorilla-boy has to go to friend so Shampoo can get her airen!"

Gorilla-boy? That was a new one. It was _almost_ enough to make Chad crack a smirk. _Almost._ Chad didn't smirk and rarely, if ever, smiled, "If I don't?"

"Then Shampoo make you!"

Chad's eyebrows lifted up into his hair, "You can?"

Shampoo nodded vigorously, "Yes! She amazon warrior!"

That was interesting fact to learn. From what from Chad gathered on amazon warriors in school, the Amazonians were an all-exclusive female-only tribe with females as almost as huge and muscular as himself. Typically, they were usually found in South America, but that didn't mean other countrywomen couldn't form a tribe of Amazonians.

"You can't," Chad said bluntly, effortlessly tanking the blow of Shampoo's punch that impacted into his steel of a chest, "See?"

Shampoo bit back a wince as she nursed her hurt hand. An 'ouchy' would've been vastly appropriate to utter if she was actually as dumb as her lack of the Japanese language implied. She was a member of the renowned Amazonians, thus she would not disgrace her tribe by showing pain in such a pitiful fashion.

"What you made of?!" Shampoo demanded.

"Steel."

"Really?" Made sense to her. She felt like she was hitting plutonium by striking his chest.

A bead of sweat ran down Chad's cheek, "Uh. That was a joke." At least it was his attempt of his joke, poor as it was admittedly. His facial features remained as unmoving as it was when they first started their pointless hike to nowhere in particular, giving Shampoo the impression he was dead serious.

"You no very good at that," Shampoo bluntly told him.

"Hm," Chad hummed just before his natural stoic-disposition was broke by the girl materializing a spear from thin air, 'Where was she hiding that?'

"Shampoo beat Indestructible-boy with this?" She smirked, ready to lunge at Chad, and she would've too if not for the halting palm he shot out, "What now? What you want?"

"Just a minute," He requested and Shampoo curiously traced his casual saunter over to a lamppost minding its own business. As easily as pulling a wooden sign stomped into the ground, Chad plucked the ludicrously tall pole out of the ground, flexing it around like a sword for emphasis, "Ready?" He hoped his sarcasm was conveyed through his monotone.

Shampoo gaped, her spear falling limply out of her fingers and clattering noisily to the hard ground. Her tenacity could only convince her to push forward so much, but against such a titan who could rip lampposts from the ground like toothpicks even that couldn't delude her into believing she could win.

"Okay!" She chirped.

"Eh?" Chad _almost_ blinked.

"Shampoo submit to Indestructible-boy's superiority!"

She admitted that quick.

It almost seemed anticlimactic, but Chad wasn't complaining.

He was a pacifist after all.

Jamming the lamppost back in place a small tremor occurred, filling Shampoo's eyes with lustful admiration at Chad's strength.

"Now?" He wondered whilst Shampoo sauntered over to him with a happy smile on her face, arms tucked behind her back in an act of surrender.

"Shampoo want hug," She stated, earning herself an quizzed look of confusion from Chad, "It honorary sign of respect between warriors."

"Okay," He agreed as Shampoo's eyes gleamed deviously.

Leaping up, the Amazonian tied her legs around Chad's torso, cutting out all dramatic suspense and diving down to capture his lips against her own, moaning into his mouth as Chad's eyes, normally veiled away by his hair, shot into view with shock. To think his first kiss would be under these circumstances, and to this crazy girl? Unreal.

Breaking the kiss, Shampoo smirked at Chad's passively gaping expression, "You and Shampoo now engaged."

Wait. What? Engaged? He hadn't even graduated high school let alone went through collage.

"Uhh. What?"

Shampoo giggled, sliding down Chad's muscular torso to land on her feet. He just ignored the tingles her gentle touch gave him, "It honorary for a defeated Amazonian to give Kiss of Engagement to her victorious male opponent."

Oh. That was why she seemed so blissfully determined to tie the knot with Ranma, because he defeated her and in return received the Kiss of Engagement, and now because she was intelligent enough to realize she would never beat Chad she surrendered, thus handing him the victory in their unofficial fight and consequently enabling him to receive the kiss binding them together.

"I see."

"Great-Grandmother be so proud of Shampoo," She bubbled with a giggle, "Indestructible-boy bring Amazon-tribe back to glory."

'Ichigo. Seems you're going to be a best-man.'

He didn't whether he was being sarcastic or resigning himself to his fate.

xXx

(With Ichigo and Ranma)

xXx

"So this is your pad, huh?" Ranma asked, looking up at the clinic Ichigo led them to, "Seems nice. Least I know where to go if you ever knock me up, eh?" She got her desired ruse out of the orange-headed Shinigami.

"Damn it. Don't ya have an off-switch or something?" He basically begged.

"I do, but you'll have to strip me to find it."

"Shouldn't have asked," He slumped as Ranma smiled 'innocently' at him, "Let's just go inside." He looked up and Ranma followed his trail, catching on to the implications.

"Ain't we going through the front door?" She asked.

"Na. My bo-." Eyes widening in realization, Ichigo jerked his head to the redhead with a look of astonishment on his face.

"What?" She asked, deciding to take the opportunity while presented to needle Ichigo, "I know I'm sexy as hell and all, but could ya not look at me like I'm a piece of meat pal?"

"You can see me?"

Ranma's sly grin turned dry, "Well, duh. That's why I'm here," She quipped, watching Ichigo pound his head to berate himself, "Why is that such a big deal all of a sudden anyway?"

"Most normal people don't have the spiritual essence necessary to see hollows or shinigamis," He explained, air-hopping to his balcony.

In one smooth, high leap, Ranma followed, landing beside him gracefully, "Well, Ranma Saotome ain't most 'people'," She bragged, "Heh. Chaos follows me wherever I go."

"I'm sure," He said dryly, sincerely hoping the rest of Nerima's residents don't miraculously start appearing in Karakura due to Ranma's presence, "Anyway, my family still don't know about me being a shinigami or my duties, and I would like to keep that under wraps."

"I see."

Cracking open his window, a blur shot past him, latching onto Ranma's chest, materializing into a small tiger plushy, its little stuffed paws sinking into Ranma's chest as its head fondled her breasts, "Boobies!~"

"What the hell?!" Ranma cringed, "What the hell is this thing?!"

"Kon, you little bastard!" Ichigo raged, roughly dislodging Kon from Ranma's chest and chucking the stuffed animal against the wall of his room.

"So that's what the perv's name is," Ranma said, her eyes darkening with malevolence.

"Yeah," Swerving his hand through his spiky tangerine-coloured hair, Ichigo climbed through his window, making his way over to the fallen Kon, "Resident perverted mod soul."

Roguishly shaking her head, Ranma neatly hopped into Ichigo's room, noticing the second Ichigo sprawled out on a single bed, "I'm starting to think this joint is almost as screwy as Nerima."

"Oh, you did _not_ just compare Karakura Town with that loopy city!"

"What'cha gonna do about it if I did, pal?" She cheekily stuck her tongue out at him.

"Ichigo!" Kon whined indignantly, dragging himself to his little feet and extending a paw forward, "You jerk, disrespecting the great Kon-sama like that! I deserve boobies for my magnificence!" He was abruptly pinned into the ground by Ichigo's foot.

"Shaddup, you damn bastard before I give ya to Yuzu," A menacing expression appeared on his face, "You know, she's been missing her _favourite_ dress-up doll to play with lately. How would ya like to keep her preoccupied? I'm sure she'll be relieved," Satisfied with his interrogation of Kon, Ichigo sauntered over to his body, leaving him sniffling on the ground.

"I wish nee-sama was here. She would understand me," He blissfully envisioned himself being cuddled against the chest of his beloved sister, "Ah!~ And she would cuddle me to her beautiful chest. Ah, nee-sama," He sighed dreamily, making Ranma shake her head.

"Yeah, well, she isn't. Deal with it," Ichigo commanded insouciantly, picking up his body. Ranma curiously observed his shinigami form majestically fade into his physical body.

A light trio of soft thuds echoed from his door, followed by an equally soft voice, "Onii-sama, is everything okay in there?"

Ichigo sighed, now dressed in a light blue long-sleeved dress shirt left unbuttoned to display his short-sleeved t shirt underneath, black trousers, and a pair of white socks fitted on his feet, "Come in, Yuzu," He said after glaring at Kon, the silent commandment evident in his eyes. Kon flopped down like a fish.

A small click sound echoed out to signify the opening of Ichigo's bedroom door, "Oh good," A small girl with shoulder-length hair that could've been interpreted as either dark blonde or light brown walked into view, wearing a short-sleeved white t shirt that accentuated her developing hips, a coffee-brown coloured skirt stretching down to her black socks-clad feet and a yellow apron tossed over her shirt.

"I wanted to tell yo-." She ceased her explanation once her eyes locked onto Ranma, "Onii-sama," She pointed at Ranma, "Who is that?"

Ranma strolled forward, a lopsided mischievous grin tugging at her lips.

'Oh god, here we go,' Ichigo face palmed himself.

"S'up?"

"Uh. Hi?" Yuzu said awkwardly, donning a polite smile, "I'm Yuzu, Ichigo's little sister. You are?"

"Why, your new sister-in-law, of course!" Ranma remarked cheerfully, evoking a chain of different reactions from her audience. Yuzu just stared blankly, as if waiting for the punchline, so immersed she was she didn't even notice Kon pick his head up from the ground to goggle at Ichigo. And Ichigo himself…

RAGE!

…Mentally, of course.

'Fuck. My. Life!' He mentally groaned.

"Name's Ranma Saotome," She stated coyly, stylishly holding up the bangs of her hair with her hand, "But you can just call me sis," Noticing the distinct lack of reaction from the girl, Ranma dropped her sly demeanour, glancing forward, feeling disturbed by Yuzu's frighteningly blank expression, "Un. You okay, Yuzu?"

"I see," She closed her eyes and gave the redhead who had the audacity to declare herself as Yuzu's precious big brother's fiancée a smile that was so forced in nature Ranma could've sworn the temperature just dropped to zero degrees Celsius, "Well, I sincerely hope you'll have my onii-sama's best interests at heart, Ranma- _chan,_ otherwise you and I will be having words."

"Uh." She said unsurely, "Alrighty then." How does one respond to that? She glanced behind her at Ichigo and even he seemed shocked by his sister's uncharacteristic threat.

Yuzu sighed, dispelling the malevolent aura around her, "Wonderful!" She clapped her hands, turning toward the door, "Oh! I almost forgot. Dinner's ready, onii-sama. I'll serve you two a plate. Come down for them."

"Wait! Yuzu," Ichigo said, deciding to take the chance to exact revenge on Kon.

Yuzu stopped, turning back to her brother with her soft chestnut eyes of unsullied purity, reminding Ranma of the eldest Tendo sister, "Yes?"

Smirking internally, Ichigo sauntered over to Kon, his expression darkening sadistically at the rain bullets of sweat that cascaded down his face, "Don't forget your toy," Sticking his foot underneath Kon, he kicked, propelling him forward into Yuzu's delighted embrace.

"Yay! I've been looking all over for you. I don't know how you keep getting into onii-sama's room though. It's like you have a mind of your own Mr bear," She smiled, situating Kon on her shoulder, "Thanks, onii-sama." She sauntered to the exit.

"No problem kiddo," He said casually, getting the bird from Kon which he returned without hesitation. When the sound of the door closing echoed, a cloud of awkward silence engulfed the room.

"Hah. Was I… threatened by her just now?"

"Think so."

"That was creepy."

"I agree."

XxX

Having decided to hold off on her explanation on how she obtained her curse to Ichigo, the two ventured down the stairs to join the rest of his family, and Ranma had to admit the house had a cosy feel to it. Having lived in the Tendo dojo for so long it felt kind of refreshing to actually be in a normal house.

"I'm u-." Just before Ichigo could finish his sentence, he was hammered to the ground with a swift roundhouse-kick.

"Oh, my delinquent son!" Ranma blinked. Instead of seeing a tall, broad-shouldered man with a head of spiky black hair and a five o clock shadow anguishing theatrically in reality, she envisioned a long-haired, sun-burned man doing it instead, "Sneaking out and bringing his fiancee in under his father's nose without his content to do adult-rated activities!'

'Gee. Is this Mr Tendo's long-lost brother or sumthin?' The striking similarity was almost scary.

Ranma was half expecting him to exclaim to the heavens, " _How could the Gods be so cruel!_ '

"Where have I gone wrong?!"

Meh. Close enough.

"Damn it, Goat-face!" Ichigo raged, dragging himself to his feet and smashing his forehead against his father's, glaring mightily into his eyes, "What kind of lunatic father attacks his own son!?"

The dubbed Goat-face pushed back, "Don't blame me for your lack of guard, ungrateful son of mine!"

"C'mon! If that anyway to welcome your own son in the presence of his "girlfriend"!"

"All the incentive to keep your guard up when entering a room then. You don't wanna be shown up in front of her!"

"Ugh!" Grabbing his father's white lab coat, Ichigo threw him down and engaged him in an old-fashion scuffle with a dust ball masquerading their body parts save for their heads and occasionally their limbs, "I'll teach ya to mess with me Goat-face!"

"You're a hundred years too early for your old man son!"

"Gee. They sure get along like two peas in a pond," Ranma grinned sarcastically, "Nice dosage of deja vu too."

"Just ignore those idiots," A tone of calm nonchalance warranted Ranma's attention. Over in the kitchen section of the multi room complex where Yuzu was, sat another small girl, though she was slightly taller than her sister and took after their father in the hair department.

A crop of shoulder-length black hair fall neatly to her shoulders, with two bangs framing her impassive face. Contrasting Yuzu's girlish dress sense this girl wore a short-sleeved blue t shirt, black shorts over her crossed legs, and black sneakers fitted on her feet. She easily outclassed Akane in masculinity hands down.

"It's cool," Ranma shrugged, sauntering over to the tomboy, flopping down in the chair beside her, lazily throwing an arm back behind the arm rest, "I'm used to crazy."

She nodded, eyeing Ranma's slouching form through dark eyes of bored disinterest as she identified her as a tomboy, like her. They could get along, "So I'm guessing your Ichi-nii's new "fiancee" huh?"

"Something like that, yeah," Ranma grinned mischievously, suspiciously raising her voice, "The second Ichi-chan swept me off of my feet with his 'heroic' masculinity I knew I found my 'prince charming'."

"Oh! You did not just start calling me that!" Ichigo raged, only to get punched across the room by his old man.

"You let your guard down!"

Ranma snickered, looking back to Ichigo's sister to find her smirking at her, "I think I'm gonna like ya."

"Thanks," Ranma rubbed her nostrils with her index finger, "Name's Ranma Saotome by the way. Yours?"

"Karin."

"Cool."

A sweet aroma of expertly cooked food met Ranma's nostrils, making her drool as a plate of Teriyaki chicken meatballs with rice and greens landed in front of her.

"Here you go, Ranma," Yuzu happily served her.

"Thanks, Yuzu!" She said, wasting no time digging in.

'Good grief, she's more tomboyish than me,' Karin noted at Ranma's rapid eating pace.

"I really hope you stick around for a while," Yuzu insisted with a motherly demeanour, holding back a giggle when Ranma lifted up her head, half a meatball sticking out of her mouth that increased the adorable questionable look on her face.

She swallowed her dosage and grinned. Any normal girl in her position would've probably left after dinner, but when was Ranma Saotome – Aka Wild Horse and Heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts – ever a contender for normality now? Cursed and stuck in a city with a bunch of self-centred jerks that only looked out for themselves and either wanted to tie the knot around her finger or beat her into submission.

Sign her up for a vacation in a city of normal folks. Well, she should probably define "normality," considering the eccentricity of Ichigo's father and jerky perversity of Kon, but Karin was cool, Yuzu was sweet, and Ichigo, well, it went without saying he was a riot to tease for entertainment.

"Sure thing!"

Hell, could be fun.


	3. A Foreboding Premonition

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Ranma 1/2**

 **Bleach's Blaze of the Soul Reaper is one of the best soundtracks for eccentricity I've ever heard.**

* * *

 _BLEACH_

 **X**

 _Ranma 1/2_

The majestic azure sky was free of even a semblance of a dark cloud.

The bright sun shined down on a beautifully decorated precipice at a perfect temperature.

A myriad of beautiful pink petals rained down on an aisle and two rows of intricately assembled chairs on either side of the alter, within sat familiar faces from Ichigo's school dressed in formal suits or yukatas. Separating the rows down the middle was a long red carpet.

"Of all of us in our little group who would've thought Ichigo would be the first one to get married?" A feminine emerald eyed young man politely stated.

"I guess it makes sense. Not only he is the main character, but he's also the "leader"," A masculine spiky-haired tomboy clad in a blue yukata quipped.

"Ichigo, you traitor!" A hyperactive youth shouted theatrically, "I was meant to be your best man, me, Keigo, you're best buddy! Not Chado!"

"Shut up," The feminine youth said.

"Why always me?!"

Ichigo stood underneath the well-crafted brown-coloured alter at the pinnacle point of the aisle, clad in an expensive black suit with a white under dress shirt, "Geez," His usual scowl was still plastered on his face despite his moment in the light, "I don't know why Yuzu and Karin insisted Ranma and I tie the knot under such flashy conditions."

"Hm," Chad hummed beside him, clad in a beige coloured suit with a matching vest-top and a pink bow tie.

"I mean, sure, I get that it's our special occasion and we'll only have one, but c'mon! All this seems too much," He shrugged, "I would've been satisfied flying us down to Vegas and getting hitched down there."

"Quit complaining, you idiot!"

"Cram it Tatsuki or I'll kick your ass outta here!" Tatsuki flipped him the bird, which he readily returned.

The odd-looking priest eyed Ichigo in amusement, 'I like the kid's style,' Glancing down the aisle, he saw Ichigo's red-haired bride being chaperoned by a proud Isshin, 'Yowza! She's hot! Wish I had her. Maybe if I ask nice enough the dude will consider letting me join in with 'em on an orgy or something."

At the sight of Isshin's broad grin at accompanying Ranma down the aisle, Ichigo's scowl turned dry, 'Gee goat-face. Great acting. Gotta compliment ya on a real professional performance,' He mused sarcastically, 'Really, if I was one of 'em I never would've guessed you're actually the groom's father, and not the bride's.'

All his annoyance at his father's goofy antics vaporized the instance they reached him and he saw his soon-to-be wife's enticing blue eyes regarding him with all the admiration he could ever want even through her bridal mask.

Over his shoulder, the priest's head appeared in view with a shit-eating grin on his lips, "She's fine, ain't she?"

"Yeah," He responded without thinking, "Wait. What!?" He jerked his head over his shoulder with a look of annoyance, but the priest only shrugged with insouciance.

Ranma's giggle gently grabbed his attention once again, and he returned to his silent observation of her beauty, "Well, here I am loverboy," She said, presenting her free arm to Ichigo, the one with the banquet of flowers in hand.

"Yeah," Ichigo grinned, glancing at his father and mockingly reassuring him, "Well, _Dad._ I'll be sure to take good care of her."

"I have total faith in you, my new son!" Isshin beamed, almost believing he was Ranma's father and not Ichigo's, actually finding it hard to pass her over to her soon-to-be husband. Every time she tried to ease into Ichigo's embrace, Isshin yanked her back a little bit, keeping her in place.

"Damn it, Goat-face!" Ichigo groused.

"Sorry," Isshin said, finally letting go of Ranma and allowing her to move to Ichigo's side, who was glaring at Isshin in annoyance, "Guess I got a little carried away there."

"No, you don't say."

"Well, take care of her," Isshin sniffled, patting Ichigo on the shoulder, who sighed.

"Don't worry, pops, I'll keep in touch," Ranma insisted with a lopsided playful grin.

"Don't encourage him!"

"Oh, my precious third daughter," Isshin recited, sweeping Ranma up in one last embrace, situating his chin atop her red-haired crown as he held her protectively against his chest, "How kind you've treated me."

Ranma laughed at her pseudo father, patting him gently on the shoulder, 'This brings a whole new meaning to 'coming into the act',' Hearing her husband-to-be's stifled groan, she grinned sheepishly, "'Kay, _Dad._ Think Ichi's about ready to take me now."

Isshin reluctantly pulled away from Ranma, holding her by the shoulders, and staring teary-eyed at the redhead's lopsided, wry smile, "Your mother would be so proud." And that ruined it.

"Would ya back off already?!" Ichigo raged, extending his leg over his petite bride's head and connecting the underside of his foot with Isshin's face, sending him tumbling down the aisle in a comical roll, "Damn Goat-face."

"Pretty extreme, don't cha think Ichi?" Ranma grinned wryly. Behind her, her two cute bridesmaids, Karin and Yuzu, nodded in agreement.

Ichigo sighed, roughly caressing the back of his neck, "It was necessary. We would've been here all day if I hadn't of taken action."

"I don't disagree."

Isshin loved each one of his daughters so very much.

"So," Ranma started, interlocking her fingers with Ichigo's, consequently erasing his anger, "Shall we get hitched now, hubby?"

"Uh. I guess," He guessed? Well that didn't sound very reassuring.

"You guess?" Ranma cocked an eyebrow, "What am I, chopped liver?"

"I mean, yeah," Ichigo mustered up with a gulp, his shaky confirmation making Ranma soften her vulpine smile materially, her eyes radiating affectionate, 'Man, I'm lucky to have her,' He realized with a grin of his own overtaking his countenance, though it was wiped off immediately when they turned back to the unprofessional priest, "What the hell are ya doing?"

The priest nonchalantly ended his brazen observation of Ranma's curvaceous figure that caused her to coyly hide her mouth with the back of her hand to toss Ichigo a shrug of casual indifference, "What? She's hot, dude."

Ichigo slapped his hand against his face. How aggravating, "Just get on with it!" He demanded impatiently.

"Alright, alright. No need to get your panties in a bunch," He teased, rummaging through his priest robes, paying no heed to Ichigo's deadpanned glance.

"Seriously?" Ichigo said.

"Ah! Here's the ticket!" The priest beamed, pulling out a sheet of crumbled paper, scanning its contents, "Good, good. Seems legit. No, wait. This is my grocery list."

"Ah!" Ichigo groaned whilst the priest rummaged through his robes again, putting away his shopping list in the process, "Where the hell did we hire ya from damn it?"

"Relax Ichi," Ranma suggested with a giggle at the priest's goofy antics, "I actually think he's kinda funny."

"Stupid, more like," Ichigo grumbled, resisting the urge to sigh in relief when the priest took out another sheet of paper. Hey, for all he knew it could've just been another red-herring.

"Ah! Here we go!" He cheered, coughing into his hand before brassily extending his arms outward, "S'up guys and gals!?" Everyone with the exception of Ichigo and his best man laughed at priest's thuggish greeting.

"Uh. I think the phrase goes, 'dearly beloved'," Ichigo dryly pointed out but all for naught. After altering the first part of the traditional ceremonial script the priest altered the second phrase.

"You dudes and gals join me here to tie _this_ ," He looked at Ichigo's scowling face, "Mean-faced guy," Ichigo's scowl heightened as the priest twirled his head to Ranma, "And this fine lady in holy ceremony."

"Matrimony," The bride corrected.

"That too."

Ichigo stared vacantly at the priest's goofy grin. He could've sworn he saw it in some manga, but that was beside the point. He couldn't be this stupid, could he?

"Anyway, skipping now," He said, "It's all a buncha pointless crap regardless."

"Gee. How professional," Ichigo remarked caustically, glaring lowly at him.

"You'll thank me for that later when you get to your honeymoon faster than expected to screw your wifey, scamp."

"I'm taller than you!" Ichigo yelled defensively, "How does that make any sense?!"

"Dunno. You figure it out."

"Gah!"

"Would ya like to swap vows before exchanging rings?"

Ranma nodded, turning to Ichigo, butterflies fluttering in her stomach at his patented scowl, "Ichi," His countenance softened blankly at her uncertain tone, "Shoulda wrote sumthin down. Dunno what ta say."

"Just say what comes natural to ya," Ichigo smiled, reassuring Ranma of his love with an intangible blanket of warmth he instinctively spread around her form.

"Right," She inhaled, closing her eyes, her hands tightening around Ichigo's larger ones, as she relaxed into his aura, "Here goes nothing then," Ichigo's own hands tightened around hers, giving her the incentive she needed to press on as she fluttered open her delicate blue eyes, "Ichigo. You were the first guy-. No, scratch that. First _person_ ever to show me kindness without ever having any ulterior motive for doing so."

Ichigo listened, silently engrossed in his bride's explanation of why she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

"You not only listen to me, but you never put your own needs before my own," Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes, concerning Ichigo.

"Ranma."

"Sorry," She removed one of her hands from Ichigo's to coolly flick the droplet of pesky water from her eyelids, "Just got some dust in my eyes," Ichigo smirked. That was so like her, "Now where was I? Ah of course. You're the most unselfish and compassionate guy I know," She continued on as if nothing happened, "You even protect me. Ain't no one done that for me before. Heck, even the simple concept like "We look out for our own is totally lost on me."

Ichigo grimaced. He was glad he got Ranma out of Nerima, even if she chased him out of it in reality.

"I couldn't think of a better guy I would wanna live the rest of my life as a girl, no. As a _woman_ to be with. You're my everything, Ichigo Kurosaki," Ichigo goggled, "Well. Don't just stand slack-jawed stupid. Say something!"

"Don't know what to say," He said with blunt honestly.

"How about 'Well, damn. I can't top that, so how's about we get this show on the road'?" The priest quipped, causing Ichigo to round on him.

" _Thank_ you, priest!" He yelled sarcastically.

"No probs," He grinned, sweeping the underside of his nose with his index finger, "So, any input you would like to add or do ya just wanna wrap this thing up and get away from yours truly as quickly as possible?"

Did he even need to ask? Of course Ichigo wanted to distance himself as far away as possible from this annoying priest and never look back, "Na," He scowled, then realized his refusal to return the gesture to his new wife could hurt her feelings, "I mean!" He twirled to her, "If that's okay with you."

"It's cool," She cupped Ichigo's hands, placing them against her heart, "I already know how you feel about me right here."

"Thanks," Ichigo nodded.

"Well then!" The priest conjoined his hands in an audible clap, "If any of you in the audience have anything to add, speak now, or forever hold that one fart in!"

"Ranma!" An enraged voice objected, drawing their attention down the aisle to find Ryoga seething furiously.

"Gah. You just _had_ to say it," Ichigo groaned.

"Hi ya, Pig-boy. Come to watch my happy day, have ya?" Ranma teased.

"Ranma, how dare you!" He raged nonsensically, marching forward, "I won't let you crush Akane-san's spirits by marrying a guy!"

Seeing as someone had to, the brash Karin opted to be the vessel for the intangible essence that so often found itself vacant in the city of Nerima, common sense, "Moron!" She admonished, upper cutting Ryoga in the chin as soon as he got close, "Once Ranma-nee and Ichi-nii tie the knot that'll leave that Akane-lady free for you to hook up with, you numbskull."

Decent horse sense now officially installed in him, Ryoga blinked in recognition, "Oh?" Was it just him or was there an awkward cloud over the area, "Well, sorry!" He turned, running off.

"That was weird," Yuzu said bluntly, speaking for everyone present.

"What an idiot!" Karin huffed.

"Thanks, Karin-chan."

"No problem Ranma-nee."

'That was weird,' Ichigo mused in agreement with his kid sister, his countenance scrunching up in sobered contemplation, 'It was almost craz-.' His hazel eyes widened in realization.

"The pigtailed goddess!"

"What!" Ichigo yelled at the rapidly approaching mock-samurai, "You again?!"

"Fear not! For thy Prince Charming hast come to liberate thee from the foul sorcerer's spell!"

"Another idiot," Karin's hand firmly met her face.

"Why can't they just be happy for onii-sama and onee-sama?" Yuzu sighed.

Ichigo openly gaped at his not-so little anymore sisters. The way they were talking one would think they had grown use to the occurrence of the Nerima's nutjobs invading Karakura Town on a daily basis, 'What the hell's going on?' Had they integrated themselves into Karakura's society?

God help him!

Before Kuno could get close to "free" Ranma from Ichigo's vile hold, Karin – officially acting as her sister-in-law's bodyguard – roundhouse kicked him to the ground.

"Stay away from our sister, you wacko!" She demanded in a brassy demeanour.

"I see. Such magnificent power, veiled in such a fiery spirit!" Kuno preached, admiring Karin's explosive personality. There was just something about hot-headed tsunderes that turned him on. Being fervent was how the beauteous Akane Tendo and the pigtailed goddess captured his heart after all, "Very well!" He stood, extending his sword to Karin, "If thee defeats me I shalt do thee the honour of allowing thee to date with me."

"Wow. I'm overcome by your generosity, wacko," Karin remarked caustically. She was the sister who took after her brother at the end of the day.

"Truly, it is an honour," In Kuno's ears, Karin's sarcasm was sincerity, "Now, strike at me fiery one!"

"Oh hell no!" Ichigo interjected in a commanding fashion. The resident crazies of Nerima integrating themselves into Karakura Town was one thing, but one joining his family was another thing all together. That just couldn't fly, "Over my dead body!"

Chad accelerated himself forward, his massive physique snapping Kuno's sword in half before his giant fist connected with the mock-samurai's countenance. The amount of potency packed into the punch repelled Kuno back in a crazy whirlwind twister, almost DBZ-like. The momentum fabricated from Chad's punch took Kuno on a none-too pleasant air ride through a mountain and a hole - the size of a tunnel - could now be seen through it.

"Thanks, Chado. I owe ya one."

Chad nodded, "Hm." He fought for Ichigo, and Ichigo fought for him.

That was just how they rolled.

"Maybe now we can fina-."

"Ranma-honey!" A spatula wielding girl replaced the mock-samurai, racing forward.

"Damn it!"

"Ucchan?" Ranma said softly.

"I won't let ya go through with this!" She insisted, but her charge was halted by the arms of Karin and Yuzu interlocking around hers with surprisingly powerful grips, lifting her off of the ground, "Let go of me! I have to save Ranchan!" She thrashed, but the girls wouldn't release their surprisingly mighty grip.

"Get over it, wacko!"

"I'm sorry, but the onee-sama you knew is gone now."

"No! I won't accept that! I just have to get him out of here and back to Nerima! Then I'll erase wherever spell you monsters have put on him!"

"Oh Ucchan," Ranma shook her head at her childhood friend's refusal to acknowledge her metamorphosis, "You're sounding like Kuno now."

Speaking of Kuno, "Ohoohoohoohoohoo!" Well, _a_ female Kuno had added to the tension, dressed in a skimpy green leotard and brandishing a ribbon.

"Who in the hell is she?" Ichigo demanded with an annoyed scowl marring his face.

"Kodachi Kuno," Ranma explained, "Kuno's sis, has you mighta figured."

"Well that explains a lot."

"So, the red-haired harlot has vanquished my Ranma-darling. Seems a retribution is in order."

"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" Ichigo yelled in disbelief, his expression drying up, "You do realize this red-haired "harlot" lady you wanna kill to avenge your "Ranma-darling" is the same person you're trying to avenge, right?"

"Surely, you jest dearie. I'm not as naive as my pretty face deceives people into believing I am."

"Gah!"

"No, but you are as stupid!~" Ranma cheerfully mocked.

Glancing at each other, the Kurosaki twins nodded simultaneously, confirming they were on the same wavelength.

When Ukyo felt herself being lifted higher, panic shone on her face, "I'm sorry about this," Yuzu smiled apologetically.

"Wait."

"I'm not." Throwing Ukyo up as though she was a volley ball, the twins drove their feet directly into her solar plexus, sending her flying into the approaching Kodachi. The force took over, carrying them away as though it was a cab.

"And another two bite the flipping dust," Ichigo slumped, his mind contemplating his sisters' absurd increase in strength, 'Why the hell are they so strong?' Could everybody in Nerima send annoying assholes flying away with a mere attack?

Goddamn. That was frightening.

"Ranma-chan!"

"Gah! Who now?" He turned and his eyes narrowed with rage at the sight of an unnaturally short old man dunking his entire head into Ranma's breasts, rapidly squirming his head within their walls while making strange puking noises that insinuated he was most likely licking them clean.

"Ahh! Get off of me, you old freak!" She cringed.

"You old bastard!" Ichigo raged, lunging in on Happosai, though as if sensing his approach he back-flipped off of Ranma's chest and landed on Ichigo's outstretched arm, springing off before he could rearrange himself, "Get back here damn it!"

Even in mid-air, Happosai was still able to skilfully weave around Ichigo's grapple attempts, "Na-Na. You'll never catch me!" He taunted before Chad caught him nigh effortlessly, "Oh. Guess ya did. Congrats, fella," He felt a foreboding aura hovering over his head when Chad moved him too close for comfort's sake to his impassive visage.

"It's not nice to fondle a woman's cleavage," Chad mumbled, bringing his other massive hand, which was about the size of Happosai's head, to his face, sticking out his index finger, "Especially when she belongs to someone else," Chad flicked and Happosai was blasted out of the vicinity.

"Thanks, big-guy," Ranma smiled.

"Hm."

The priest, who had been silently enjoying the show with amusement in his eyes, stepped forward, "As much fun as this has been, I think it's about time I wrap this up," Extending his arm skyward like he was saluting god, he produced a massive blue Saturn-designed nuclear bomb, "The readers are probably bored stiff now," He threw his death bomb in the direction of the psychos and not only obliterated them but also the remnants of the fourth wall in a gigantic DBZ-like heat-dome-shaped explosion.

After the explosion subsided, questions needed to be answered. The main one being how in the world does a priest – admittedly wacky – possess an virtual attack only shown in anime.

"Naruto Uzumaki?" Karin asked with a strange look on her face. The guy was darker skinned than Naruto and possessed two brown eyes instead of the blond goofball's trademark blue eyes.

"Na. Yusuke Urameshi, baby."

"That makes even less sense!" Karin yelled, "How the hell do ya know a rasenshuriken if you're the main guy from Yu Yu Hakusho, nutjob?!"

"Don't ask me. It's his dream." Yusuke gestured to Ichigo.

"And boy, did it get weird fast."

* * *

"Ahh!" Ichigo shot up in the darkness, his face marred with sweaty exhaustion and his breathing ragged, "That was scary," He wheezed, briefly scanning his surroundings, "Where am I now?"

Bed?

Check.

Window?

Check.

Computer desk?

Check.

Book shelf?

Check.

Open closet?

Check.

"Ichi-chan?"

Ranma lying beside him.

Uh. Check.

Yeah. He seemed to be in his bedroom at least.

"You okay?" She asked, channelling her inner Kasumi with her soft comforting tone and soothing strokes supplied to Ichigo's hair, "You were only having a bad dream. No biggie."

"No," Ichigo said, his widened eyes of horror veiled away in the darkness of his room, "It was more than just a bad dream. It was a frickin' premonition as a sign of bad stuff to come," He slumped against the pillow on his bed, staring up at the ceiling of his room like a warrior slumped in an unknown land.

"Uhh. Oh-kay!" Ranma accepted, perching her mop of red hair upon Ichigo's muscular torso, and her gleaming sapphire-coloured eyes practically illuminated the small section of Ichigo's room that the pair were positioned in with their mischief.

"Ahh!" Realizing he was cuddled up with Ranma in bed, he freaked out predictably, flipping out of his bed, "What the hell are ya doing?"

Propping herself up on her knees, Ranma smirked in her typical lopsided silly fashion down at Ichigo, "Was wondering how long it was gonna take ya to realize I was right here cozying up with ya," She shrugged, "Was hoping for your pops to find us like that in the morning, but oh well. 'Em are the breaks, I guess."

Hastily picking himself up, Ichigo pointed to the closet with authority, "Get out!"

"Alright, alright," Ranma said in a casual demeanour, stretching out her arms and unfolding her legs from underneath her, "No need to yell, y'know. It's only the two of us," Slipping off of Ichigo's bed, the redhead slithered her hands up Ichigo's chest, sending a tingling sensation through him that made him flinch. She had to tiptoe, but she was still able to peck the teen on his cheek, making him blush rapidly, "Still too easy," She smirked.

"Just," He covered his eyes with one hand, waving her away with the other, "Go to sleep. Please."

"Sure thing, Casanova."

"Gah!"

Snickering, Ranma gracefully carried herself over to her mini room and leapfrogged within its confines, "Nighty-night. Don't let the bed-bugs bite!~" She breezily rhymed, sliding the door shut.

"Seriously?" Ichigo deadpanned.

What was she? A child? In that sense she complemented the tangerine-headed teen quite brilliantly. Ichigo, being the boy who had grown up well beyond his years, and Ranma, being the girl who hadn't grown up at all, and was now making up for lost time.

Sprawling flat out on his mattress in an eagle spread, Ichigo returned to his quiet observation of his suddenly fascinating ceiling. Before him, on the surface of his ceiling, flashes of his dream - which he was starting to believe was more than just a dream - played out before him. It was disturbing. Even crackpots he hadn't even met yet were depicted extremely tangibly in his dream.

What really disturbed him was just how amoral they all were. To someone like Ichigo, integrity was everything.

"Those guys. Are they really humans out there so amorally selfish?"

XxX

 _The City of Insanity_

 **C**

 **H**

 **A**

 **P**

 **T**

 **E**

 **R**

 **THREE**

A Foreboding Premonition?

XxX

(Elsewhere - Location Unknown)

The endless barrages of water bulleting from the heavens above perfectly symbolized the inward feelings of a sunburned-skinned man watching the merciless, harmful substance to his dear friend soak his garden from his place on the landing.

With arms crossed stoically behind his back his long black moustache didn't even wiggle as a thunderous bang reverberated from the darkened clouds above. Not even his long black hair which cascaded past his shoulders could be rustled in the wind. His garments consisted of a grey, long-sleeved Gi top, complemented by grey pants, and a black belt wrapped around his waist.

"Saotome will probably end the search for the lad for the day now," He sighed with a hint of sadness, slumping.

Speaking of the obvious devil, the heavy footsteps of Saotome shrouded in the sounds of splashes to indicate wet feet caught the ear of the bipolar patriarch of what he believed to be a renowned dojo.

He straightened, not wanting Saotome to see his lack of faith. So he didn't even bat an eyelash as a robust black and white panda dawdled beside him with a proverbial rain cloud of its own hovering above the panda's head.

"Well," The patriarch said to initiate conversation with the panda, "Did you find any traces of the lad?" He ignored that little nagging voice known as "common sense" telling him Saotome had no such luck finding their messing tool. He was an optimistic man at heart. That was one good thing he could say about himself.

The panda, apparently Saotome, shook his head, fidgeting awkwardly in place.

The human of the two glared, masquerading his weak-hearted fear with a pretence of anger, "Now, Saotome!" He reprimanded, ready to selfishly pile the blame for the missing heir on his friend to protect his own rear, "You're the one who drove the lad away, so it's your responsibility to bring him back so he can marry my dear Akane and combine our schools."

A flabbergasted expression appeared on Saotome's face from being made the substitute escape goat in his AWOL son's stead, but that didn't mean he was going to accept it lying down. Communicating in his cursed form the only distinguished way he knew how, Saotome materialized a wooden Coyote-like sign in his hand, *My fault! How is this my fault?* He flipped it around, *I don't recall you ever standing up for the boy either, Tendo!*

Determination was not an inherent trait two of his daughters had inherited from Soun Tendo, "Lad!" He caved in, dropping to his knees to melodramatically vent his anguish to the heavens, "Oh! How could the Gods be so cruel?!"

Saotome joined his friend, holding up a sign with one angst word engraved upon its surface in an overly drawn out exaggerated manner, *Boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!*

"Hey there fellas! How's it going?" Immediately, the floodgates were closed up, but their fear did not leave them. Slowly, they turned, stuttering and cringing helplessly at the odd sight of an unnaturally short old man waving cheerfully at them.

"M-Master!" Soun yelped, while Saotome held up a sign stating such.

The Grand Master of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, Happosai, was still in an upbeat mood despite his students' obvious fear of him. With white fluffy hair strapped around the back of his head like a headband, Happosai had a white thin moustache. Since his body was so tiny, he fit comfortably into a set of five year old sized purple pajamas he masqueraded as a martial arts gi.

"Oh, come!~" He teased, wiggling his little finger lightly at the cowering men, "Is that anyway to speak to your master?"

"W-We're sorry," Soun trembled, turning his head to Saotome, "Isn't that right Saotome?"

Saotome nodded frantically, keeping his head pressed into the ground to avoid looking into his master's frightening eyes as he lifted up another sign, *Yes! Very sorry!*

Happosai waved it off, "Water under the bridge," They sighed, still somewhat on guard at their master's unnatural show of nicety, tensing when the little old man moved in between them to engage them in casual conversation, "So, did'ya find the fella yet?"

They froze, realizing Happosai's intentions for playing nice.

"Saotome," Soun said with a shaky smile, "Why don't you tell the master how well your endeavour went of finding the lad today."

*Me? Why should I be the one to tell him?*

"Because you're the one who was out searching for the lad."

"You… still haven't found her, have ya?" Happosai's lips quivered as tears built up in the edges of his eyes.

"Now master, please don't make a fuss," Soun pleaded, trying to appease his master's sense of superiority, "Why, it would be most unbecoming of a man of your age to cry. Wouldn't you agree Saotome?"

Saotome nodded rapidly, but it mattered for naught. Happosai wasn't the kind of old geezer who took advice from young upstart whippersnappers, thus he let out a babyish wail of dismay, "It's not fair!" He cried, thrashing around in a fit of petulant anger, grieved at the loss of his faux sex-toy, "I want my Ranma-chan back!"

"Now, master. Please calm down!"

While the commotion between the men and an animal played out, a young, proper maiden stopped in her tracks with a distinctive golden kettle in her hands to offer them a moment's sympathy. One glance at her, and anyone could tell Kasumi Tendo was the embodiment of a traditional housewife. Long, chocolate brown hair was tied in a loose ponytail by a white hair bobble. Soft, light brown eyes of unsullied innocence showed she had led a pampered lifestyle sheltered from the world.

A white apron fell to her heels, over a baby blue, short-sleeved blouse complementing a baby blue skirt. Fitted on her feet were blue high heels.

"Oh my, I do hope Ranma returns from his training trip soon," Concerned marred her cute face, "Everyone's missing him."

Wanting to give them some cheer, Kasumi ventured over to them, "Here you go, Uncle Saotome," She said, pouring the warm water over Genma's head, and the panda fuzzed out and a middle aged bespectacled man wearing a beige-coloured karate Gi similar to Soun's, save for the colour, was left in place.

"Ah!~ Much better," Genma sighed, returning to his crying, "Boy!"

Kasumi shook her head, "Father."

Soun sniffled, his moustache squirming, "Yes, dear?"

"Where is Ryoga-kun?"

"I believe the lad popped out to the food shop to get himself something to eat."

Wrong answer.

"Father," An intangible snowy blizzard inexplicably covered the area, making the men cower whilst Kasumi's eyes remained oddly emotionless, "I request you forgive my conspicuous display of impudence, but I fear I must inform you of your negligence in permitting Ryoga to leave the premises without supervision whilst being aware of his, deficiency," Kasumi eloquently reprimanded her father. If proper maidens didn't have silver-tongue speeches than they didn't deserve the title in her opinion.

"I'm sorry!" Soun had already long since passed all semblances of the proverbial pants to his daughters.

They ran this castle.

Kasumi shook her head, "Oh my, it seems I'll have to traverse the district for him. Would you like to accompany me, Father?"

Soul gulped, "Uh. I... don't have a choice, do I dear?"

Kasumi smiled coldly, "Why, how smart of you."

XxX

(Elsewhere – Location Unknown)

XxX

A universally accepted obnoxious screech of a ringing bell echoed throughout the ground of the infamous, unguarded, and nigh hoodlum-ran Furinkan High School, naturally evoking a chorus of audible sighs from the majority of teens trudging through the entrance doors. Only a select few of the more 'intelligent' students beamed happily at the prospect of entering class.

Through the sea of students, one in particular wasted no time differentiating herself as a recurring character, though her expertly hidden womanly curves and assets underneath bandages around her chest and a thick jumper underneath her boy-oriented military school uniform made the endeavour of making her out as a female vastly difficult.

The Furinkan High School boys' school uniform consisted of a medium blue blazer jacket complemented by medium blue trousers and a pair of shoes fitted on her feet. She had her jacket buttoned up tightly, perfectly concealing her chest.

So what should've been a really gorgeous girl with a decently sized rack and nice curves looked more like an incredibly masculine tomboy with no semblance of a chest.

Other features of the tomboy included her sharp dark eyes, with a dark blue ring surrounding her pupils, her long flowing brown hair, typically held up in a bow, tied in a rough ponytail by a white hair tie, and a light creamy complexion.

The tomboy's most identifying weaponry on her person was that easily discernible giant spatula she flexed on her back as though it was a sword by a Bandolier, which came equipped with smaller spatulas.

"Ranma-honey!~" She cried out happily, waving at the temperamental "official" fiancée of her precious Ranchan. Sure, she hadn't officially seen Ranma, which was strange in of itself given that his male-form was taller than Akane's body, but as much as it pained her to admit she knew her soon-to-be Ranchan was always by Akane's side. _Always._

It was annoying.

The true bred tomboy didn't know whether to feel delighted that her pseudo fiancée wasn't next to his authentic one, worried that he wasn't with her, or even a combination of the two.

"Wait a minute," She blinked, looking left to right in a bid to scout out her destined spouse, "Where's Ranchan?"

With her face scrunching up in irritation at the mention of the AWOL martial arts practitioner, Akane's eyes closed, her head stiffly rounded up and away from the true tomboy, and a "humph" escaped her lips, all in disdain, "Who knows. That creep took off in hot pursuit of an orange-haired pervert to seduce him for his moves," The pseudo tomboy said.

"I see," She didn't doubt that. If there was one thing she had gathered about Ranma within the three months she had gotten to reacquaint herself with him about his personality, it was his desire to assimilate as many techniques as he could.

He wasn't beneath using his girl form to convince a sucker to pass down his techniques to him. That and his integrity were the two most noticeable traits of his personality, she believed.

The true tomboy's sad tone triggered the emotional flip of the trigger-happy tsundere's emotions, from cold tsuntsun to warm deredere, "Oh, Ukyo, I'm sorry," The pervert-hater said with concern.

"Hey, it's okay, sugar," She insisted with a warm smile, grasping Akane's shoulder, "I'm sure once Ranchan assimilates the jackass' techniques, he'll come running back," She kept the last part to herself, 'To me.'

Akane smirked, "Who for, you?"

"Why, of course!" Ukyo answered with blissful blunt honesty.

"Humph. You can have that jerk," Akane insisted with a semblance of dignity, straightening her bag in her hands and sauntering past Ukyo, "I'm happy with my Ryoga-kun thank you very much."

"I see," A delighted smirk tugged at her lips. Her day was suddenly looking back up from the dumps. Ranma may been in no man's land, but given the source of information located right here in Furinkan High School it wouldn't be too difficult to ascertain his current whereabouts, "About time you and sugar hooked up."

"You would say that, wouldn't you?" Akane forced a smirk on her annoyed countenance.

"Well, yeah. You know me too well, sugar," Ukyo remarked satirically, pivoting on her heels with a hand stacked coolly within her pocket, the other one waved about in a sly fashion, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a cash troll to feed."

Because if anyone had information pertaining to Ranma's current whereabouts or the silhouetted orange-haired fighter than you could bet the infamous mercenary of not only Furinkan High School, but also the entirety of Nerima would.

She had a reputation to uphold after all.

XxX

(Elsewhere)

Sometimes sanity had its benefits.

No, that wasn't right.

It was more like sanity was beneficial in a sea of insanity.

That one sane, yet still morally corrupt person could, regardless of her powerless state, string the crazies along like an expert puppet master to dance to her whims.

At least that was Nabiki Tendo's motto anyway.

She wasn't an highly intelligent girl by any means, but in comparison to the myriad of brain-idiots that surrounded her on a daily basis without a semblance of horse sense she was either Lex Luther's daughter or a messed up transmigration of the greatest supervillain to ever terrorize the home of the galaxy's mightiest warrior.

"Oh indeed, I shalt cherish such eternal treasures for eternity!"

Manipulating her pawns was so very simple and most of all, profitable.

Nabiki regarded her usual cash cow as though he was an insect she could _crush_ underneath her palm regardless of the vast difference in their power levels in his favour through her coconut-coloured eyes, her left leg folded neatly over her right leg as she rested her elbow on the surface of her desk to cup her chin.

"If you want them you'll have to pay up," She said casually.

In front of her, Kuno stood, ogling wolfishly at several pictures of his precious pigtailed-goddess and beauteous Akane Tendo, "How much?" He asked, looking up at Nabiki in a calm fashion. A man of his high station had to maintain some semblance of dignity after all.

"Oh?" She made a show of scratching her chin, "Fifty bucks."

"Good gads, woman!" Kuno gaped, "That's more than last time!"

"Oh, I'm sure a man of your "station" can figure out _cherished_ possessions don't come cheap, Kuno-baby," The mercenary smirked saucily, "But if you don't want 'em I can always take 'em back…" Her hand drew near to the pictures within Kuno's grasp.

Scowling, Kuno dipped his hand into his pocket and dragged out his wallet, "I hate you…" The requested amount of dollars for his desired treasures were slammed on her desk. Picking them up, Nabiki breezed through them with insouciance and tucked them away into her assets.

"And I love ya too."

An elbow impacted heavily into Kuno's side, sweeping him away from Nabiki's sight to make way for Ukyo, an intense sobered expression gleaming within her pupils, "Nabiki!"

"That hurt, you know?" Kuno deadpanned, but was ignored by both girls.

"You require something of me?" Nabiki casually stated more than asked, leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed over her bosom.

Ukyo nodded, straightening herself, "I want you to tell me where Ranma-honey is!"

"The disappearance of the dreaded sorcerer Saotome's been reported?!" Kuno gaped, shooting up to his feet before rationalizing Ranma's disappearance in his own nonsensical way, "Good gads, how dastardly! He must have realized he could never truly defeat a man such as myself with such petty tricks and fled the city with the magnificent pigtailed goddess!"

In his mind, he envisioned girl-Ranma flung over male-Ranma's shoulder, crying pleadingly in his direction, " _Kuno-senpai! Help me!"_

" _Kukuku,_ " Kuno's interpretation of male-Ranma chuckled in the stereotypical evil anime villainous way, because laughing like that was the epitome of villainy.

"Be brave pigtailed goddess, for thy White Knight clad in shining armour shalt be on his way to rescue thee!" Kuno exclaimed melodramatically, tears running down his eyes.

"Would you grow a brain you jackass?!" Ukyo raged.

Kuno's stupidity held no boundaries.

"Nabiki Tendo!" He budged into Ukyo's shoulder, who budged back just as forcefully, "I… I must acquire documentation concerning the location of the foul knave Ranma Saotome! It's a matter of life and death! For the sake of the pigtailed goddess, she needs I, Tatewaki Kuno, to bring her to salvation!"

"Hey!" Ukyo inputted, "I was first you jackass!"

"Ghastly, woman! How thee couldst be so dense as to blindly believe thy inessential desire to see the dreaded Saotome could compare with my honourable obligation to purge the pigtailed goddess from the foul knave himself! Surely, thee hast to be believe what thee verbalize is sheer nonsense!"

"Ha! You're the least qualified person in the entirety of Nerima to play the stupidity and integrity card, you hypocritical, moronic jackass!"

"I wouldst thought my intentions epitomizing nobility in every sense of the definition were so inherently obvious even a brain-dead monkey wouldst know."

"More like a brain-dead monkey would know how _dishonourable_ they are in reality, jackass!"

"Ladies."

"What?!"

Nabiki considered the bickering Ranma-obsessed individuals with condescension, "If you're done with your petulant argument," With a glare at each other, they huffed and look away from one another, "I would like to receive my fee for the information I'm about to hand you two," She smirked kittenishly at their inquisitive expressions, "Good info doesn't come cheap, y'know?"

"I see," Ukyo said, "Well, I can serve you free okonomiyaki for a month if you tell me where Ranchan is."

"Make it three months and you have yourself a deal."

"Two."

"Two months and a further two weeks."

"Deal."

Nabiki smirked at the reassurance that she wouldn't go hungry for two months and a half.

Business was booming.

"And you, Kuno-baby?" She turned an expecting gaze to Kuno who seemed to be weighing the options contemplatively. Wait. He could think? Such development! "What will you be giving yours truly in compensation for this information I possess?"

"Two hundred dollars, no more Evil Queen!"

"Two hundred and fifty and you have yourself a deal."

"Good gads, woman! You're an extortionist! Five hundred!"

Ukyo's thoughts ran along the lines of how in the actual fuck did that make any sense?

"One thousand."

Kuno's face scrunched up in deep contemplation as he crossed his arms, though the extreme strain the intense thinking supplied to his brain was too much and he quickly acquiesced with a heavy sigh, "Accepted!"

'Does he even realize he was haggled?' Ukyo wondered to herself as she dryly observed Kuno write out a check for the agreed amount before passing it over to an content Nabiki.

"Pleasure doing business with ya as always, Kuno-baby," Nabiki quipped with a lopsided grin on her face. She was already a million miles forward on the long path to entering a prestigious University, "Okay," Time to get down to business, "Don't quote me on this, but from what I could gather from little sis' description of the swordsman your "precious" Ranma chased out of town is that said swordsman is the redefined thug, Ichigo Kurosaki."

Ukyo gasped, covering her mouth with her hands as a silent utterance of Ichigo's name attempted to pass through the barrier she had set up over her mouth. Kuno, on the other hand, stared in deep contemplation with a stoical look on his face.

Almost everyone around Nerima had heard tales of one of the legendary thugs in Ichigo Kurosaki, specifically from his middle school days. Though as fearful as some might have been others had to be exaggerated.

Beat up six thugs _after_ calling them six ambulances?

The hell!

"Find Kurosaki in Karakura Town and you'll be half-way to finding Saotome," Nabiki finalized, crossing her arms again.

"I see," Ukyo said, inhaling through her nostrils.

"Kurosaki," Kuno drawled out.

"Did something 'click,' Kuno-baby?" Nabiki deadpanned, having already heard of Kuno's sound defeat at the orange-headed warrior's sword thanks to her sister, Akane.

"Good gads! I remember that dastardly fiend! He's the tangerine-headed brute who overcome a man of my superiority through underhanded means! How despicable!" Ignoring Ukyo's loud groan, Kuno extended his wooden sword skyward in honour, "I, Tatewaki Kuno, aged 17, devilishly handsome, and godly powerful pledge to vanquish the vile barbarian Kurosaki!"

Swerving his way through the assembled desks, Kuno charged out of his homeroom class, his destination: Karakura Town: His goal: Vanquish Kurosaki.

And no one batted an eyelash to Kuno's absurd dash out of the classroom.

They were already far too used to his ludicrous shenanigans to be fazed by them anymore.

"There he goes," Ukyo sighed, half turning to Nabiki to toss her a two-fingered salute, "Well, thanks anyway."

"Toodle-oo," She greeted and Ukyo exited the vicinity, giving way for a rat-faced bandit-dress ninja-like servant to majestically and conveniently appear at Nabiki's side, "When'd you get here?"

"Hehe," The whisker-faced ninja giggled nervously, 'Ohh. I wish Master Kuno wouldn't forget about me.' He sighed, 'Still, I could go far with this information if I tell Mistress Kodachi,' Unlike his masters, he wasn't oblivious to the fact girl-type Ranma and boy-type Ranma were one in the same person.

Disregarding Kuno's ever faithful servant to remove her MP3 player from her cleavage, Nabiki fixed the _green_ – her favourite colour -headphones into her eardrums, breezing through her library of songs all having money-themed titles. Grinning cheerily, she selected her personal favourite.

" _Here comes the money –_ _Here we go, Money talks_ _– Here comes the Money - Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, Money, dolla, dolla – dolla, dolla._ "

Ah.

So refreshing.

XxX

(Elsewhere - Location)

XxX

Nabiki Tendo was the most fascinating woman in the world, the former Captain of the Fifth Division, current rogue shinigami, and ultimate super villain of the series, Sosuke Aizen decided.

Really, he would have to thank Ichigo Kurosaki to leading him to such a fine creature as he sat in his secret underground one-seated high-tech laboratory watching Nabiki run her classroom, his ankles crossed, an elbow perched on his armrest to situate his fist against his cheek, and a fringe of his beautifully wavy chocolate-coloured brown hair hanging in between his eyes. The only light in the small, enclosed lab came from the chair and the monitor, both emitting a blue incandescent glow.

"Nabiki Tendo, how you interest me," He remarked, a frighteningly calm smile tugging at his lips, "To think a mere human without any semblance of power could entangle a myriad of mentally challenged, yet relatively powerful individuals, how impressive," True they were stupid, thus making them easily susceptible to manipulation, but it still took some semblance of intelligence and a cold heart to be able to string them up in the first place.

Moreover, "I can append Nabiki Tendo's pawns to my army," Thus enhancing his already heightened firepower, "All that vast amount of untapped reiatsu just waiting to be unlocked," It was like there was an unknown field force around Nerima, suppressing the inhabitants' reiatsu and confining them to a rut, "If my theory turns out to be true, it would explain why this town never caught my attention until Ichigo Kurosaki stepped foot within its radius or why hollows inexplicably tend to avoid it."

Good thing he had been keeping tabs on Ichigo since the day he was born. Quite literally, too.

Foolish mother of his.

Then again if it wasn't for her mistake he wouldn't have come across this intriguing woman and her multitude of warriors just waiting to be partnered up with his elite soldiers.

"I believe now is the time I should have myself an audience with Nabiki Tendo," Aizen smirked. Ultimately, they were a lot alike.

Sure, he was a super, manipulative genius, with illusory-based powers, but he wasn't evil. He was just ambitious and greedy, like a lot of humans, like Nabiki Tendo.

He wanted world domination - to redefine these disgusting worlds with harsh unforgiving laws.

She wanted money, money, money, and more money, something Aizen could easily give her.

He would partner up with her and integrate her pawns into his army, and together, they would be the true rulers of the worlds!

Besides, Nabiki Aizen sounded rather interesting to him.

With a mere thought commandment, the roof of Aizen's lab removed itself like a door, and he majestically floated up and out of his lab, and into a cold, desolate hallway where an extremely pale-skinned, white-shihakusho clad warrior was standing guard.

He was the epitome of an emo, with skin so pale it had no colour complexion, teal eyes so devoid of emotion it was like he was a built robot and even his body language was as stiff and unemotional as a cybernetic programmed android. His peculiarities were a white mask situated on the left side of his head with a horn sticking out of its side, a eerie hole just below his neck, and green tear-streaks running down from his emotionless orbs, "Aizen-sama," He intoned, zanpakuto sheathed at his hip.

"I'm going to tend a brief tour as it were in the human world, Ulquiorra," Aizen said eloquently, looking almost cheerful.

"I see."

"Inform Gin of his deputy duties until further notice."

"Understood," With a nosy "boom" Ulquiorra dematerialized away, leaving the shadow to shroud Aizen's smirking face.

"Now, then Nabiki Tendo. I'm looking forward to our meeting. I'm certain it'll go just as planned."

xXx

(Karakura High School)

xXx

Never in Ichigo's life did he ever imagine he would feel school was a peaceful _sanctuary,_ yet here he was, strolling through his school doors inhaling in relief. Oh lordy, how could one day change a young man's whole perspective on school?

Not to say Ichigo hated school like other stereotypical slackers who would probably end up on welfare down the line in their lives – he even supplied himself to his studies, consequently earning himself a respectable IQ – It was just having endured the hell that was both Nerima and Ranma's teasing school seemed like heaven in comparison.

Even when his hyperactive acquaintance dashed directly to him, he just let him swing his arms around him instead of bashing him in the face with his elbow before he could get close to him like he always did.

"Hey, Keigo," Ichigo greeted tepidly in the shaggy brown-haired boy's grasp, one hand slung over his shoulder to hold his gym-bag.

Keigo patted Ichigo's back, taking as much enjoyment as he could out of hugging one of his best buddies. He didn't know what had gotten into Ichigo today, but he wasn't going to look a gift's horse in the mouth, "Hey, dude!" He said, his cheerful disposition contrasting Ichigo's lackadaisical one as he ended the hug, but kept one arm wrapped around Ichigo's shoulder.

Contrary to Ichigo's smartly dressed style Keigo Asano left the edges of his white shirt scruffily untucked out of his own grey trousers, his tie loosened, and the first three buttons of his white shirt left unbuttoned.

Also, he didn't have on the additional grey-coloured blazer jacket Ichigo donned.

Basically, he was one step away from delinquency.

"Man, I don't know what's gotten into you today, buddy, but I'm not going to complain," Keigo beamed, leading Ichigo into their homeroom with a casual swagger in his step.

All it took was a slothful gaze of Ichigo's sharp hazel eyes to let know Keigo asking would be a bad idea, "Don't push your luck," He said, calmly dislodging Keigo's arm from his shoulder.

"Haha. Wouldn't dream of it," Keigo chuckled sheepishly, following Ichigo to the rest of their crew save for the muscles that was Ichigo's right hand man.

"S'up with you today, Ichigo-chan? You don't usually let Asano-san near you," Slyly teased a spiky-headed girl of masculinity. What she lacked in nature womanly departments she more than made up for with a bit of muscle on her arms, and she dressed smartly, all buttons of her white dress shirt buttoned up, her red ribbon bow tie coordinated properly, and additional grey-coloured blazer jacket over her white dress shirt which was tucked into her short-skirt.

Covering her slightly muscular legs up past her ankles were black socks and on her feet were brown shoes.

"Yeah-Yeah," Ichigo sarcastically replied back to his childhood friend as he seated himself in the window seat - like a main anime character. Only two people were allowed to get away with calling Ichigo "chan" and she was one of them.

…Well, three if you count his house guest but whatever.

"What's that supposed to mean, Arisawa-san?" Keigo whined.

"I think it means you're being an idiot Asano-san," A slender-skinned, slightly short boy with a soft face and a girlish hair-style disguised his insult to Keigo in the form of a polite answer, a sly smile on his lips.

Like Ichigo, he too donned the full school uniform and done so smartly, and his silky black hair fell to his shoulders in curves.

"I wasn't talking to you!"

'Heh,' A rare smile swept across Ichigo's features, now truly leaving Tatsuki Arisawa suspicious, 'Glad nothing's changed here. Good to be here instead of in that crazy town,' He skilfully repressed a cringe.

"Uh." A gentle persistence drew Ichigo's attention to his recent comrade in the Rukia-rescue operation in Orihime Inoue. Long, beautiful amber hair flowed to her mid back, with two bangs framing her face which had a docile look about it. Her mature, shapely legs, bouncy D-cup breasts, and well-rounded curves showed that much like Chad, Orihime had matured well beyond her years.

Orihime's defining accessories, two pentagon-shaped hairpins, gleamed brightly clipped on the sides of her hair.

"Are you okay, Kurosaki-kun?" She asked politely, her arms held below her waist.

Ichigo kindly smiled Orihime's way, unintentionally causing her heart to tighten. That was a rarity in of itself. Ultimately, the words "Ichigo" and "smile" would hardly ever fit into the same sentence unless the word "rarely" was in the middle. He saved his compassionate smiles exclusively for his kid sisters, but the bubbly girl's charisma just brought the best out of him.

He guessed that was why they were friends.

"Sure."

Orihime gave him a captivating smile, "Oh good. I was worried."

"Why?" Ichigo asked blankly.

"Um, I," She sheepishly laughed, "No reason! I just wanted to show you the yummy desserts I made."

"Well, okay then," Ichigo shrugged.

"Idiot," Tatsuki mumbled.

"What?"

"Oh nothing."

"Right."

Thankfully, a similar deep voice Ichigo was glad to hear entered the fray before the situation could escalate any further, and an enormous shadow now eclipsed them all, "Ichigo."

"Hey, dude!" Keigo patted his huge friend on the back with potency, only hurting his own hand in the process, "…Still as rock hard as ever, I see. Ow, my poor hand," He needed that to play video games.

Ignoring Keigo, the de-facto leader of the group looked up at his right hand man, "What's up, Chado?" Was it just him or was Chad's eye emitting annoyance? His left eye was tangible, and even when one of Chad's eyes were visible that meant he was either annoyed or shocked, and since no freaky occurrence was playing out in front of them that left the latter, "Uh. Everything okay, man?"

The de-facto leader's tone of hesitation caused the other members of his group to stare at Chad inquisitively.

"You left me."

"Yeah, well, I thought you could handle yourself," Ichigo defended with a sheepish grin, rubbing the side of his neck, "Anything happen to ya in that crazy city after I bolted?"

"What crazy city?" Keigo blinked, "And man, Ichigo! How could you leave Chado?" He crossed his arms, shaking his head, "Man, that ain't cool. You're meant to be our fearless leader, dude."

"Shut up, Keigo," Ichigo groused, giving Keigo his mean face. The brown-haired youth paled, quickly complying with Ichigo's command.

"So," Tatsuki said, folding her own arms, deciding not to beat around the bush, "What town did you guys go to that was so screwy that you had to split from?"

Ichigo gave her quite possibly the most haunted look she had ever seen. It was like he was traumatized, "You _really_ don't wanna know," It was just unfortunate he was hanging out with Ranma, fate's bitch. Reality could sometimes be like jail. Your friends becomes someone else's bitches, yet you still associate with them, thus you become their master's bitch too.

Logic!

"Sado-airen~!~"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

Sparing confused glances with each other, Ichigo's crewmates mouthed the word "airen" to one another before the worst possible possibility Ichigo could ever envision materialized right at Chad's side, wearing the Karakura High School uniform for girls.

"Whoa. Where did she come from?" Tatsuki asked slowly, staring blankly at the long blue-haired girl happily cuddling Chad's massive arm.

"Aah!" Ichigo gaped in fear, giving his friends déjà vu as he stood quickly, pointing shakily at Shampoo, "What the hell are ya doing here?"

"Aw, c'mon Ichigo, not this again," Keigo sighed. Man, he loved Ichigo as platonically as a heterosexual male could love another, but even he had to admit his friend could be such a prude sometimes, "Sorry about my friend. He's not used to dealing with pretty ladies," like him.

"It's okay," Shampoo giggled, "Shampoo should be thanking tangerine-boy, otherwise she never would have met her new airen."

Tatsuki, Keigo, and Mizuiro exchanged glances of confusion. Shampoo? Was that actually her name or just a nickname? And if it was, what parent in the right frame of mind not named Isshin would name their kid after a hair product? Even being named after fruits like Yuzu and Ichigo was better than being called "Shampoo" in Tatsuki's opinion.

"Oh wow!~" Orihime beamed, clapping her hands, "You have such a pretty name Shampoo-san!~"

"It customary of an Amazonian woman to get nicknamed after a hair-product."

"Amazonian?" Keigo cocked his head to the side, elucidating further when Shampoo nodded, "But I thought those ladies were all big and muscly, like Chado," He shrugged at Shampoo's blank look, "Least that's the way they were depicted on TV."

"You'll have to learn to disregard our friend entirely," Mizuiro said, "He has a tendency to spout nonsense so we often tend to ignore his presence."

"Hey!"

"Oh. Shampoo see."

Tears poured down Keigo's eyes, "Why always me?"

"See what I mean?" Mizuiro quipped, evoking a giggle from Shampoo.

"I wasn't talking to you!"

"You guys funny," Shampoo bubbled, making Orihime smile brightly.

Ichigo, who been quietly watching Shampoo slowly integrate herself into his gang of mock freedom fighters as though he was watching a haunted horror film, finally sank back down in his seat, burying his head into his hands, "This can't be happening," He mumbled. His nightmare was slowly becoming a reality.

God help him.

"What's your problem?" Tatsuki demanded, "You make it sound like Shampoo's tied to you. Geez. Lighten up."

Lighten up. Lighten up! How the hell could she expect him to lighten up with the foreboding aura clouding over his head? Real funny, Tatsuki. She should be a comedian, "We're screwed," Ichigo echoed out in a hollowed tone of haunted depiction, his eyes widened in horror.

"Dramatic much?"

"Screweddddd."

Shaking her head, Tatsuki propped her hand on her hip, indifferent to Ichigo's torment, a complete contrast to Orihime's fretting, "Just ignore this moron," Seeing Keigo's inhaling in a preoperative manner, she deflated it by adding, "For today."

"Aw."

"He's normally not like this."

"Shampoo see."

"So, Shampoo, are you new to the country?" Tatsuki asked, elucidating further at Shampoo's curious look, "I mean, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I noticed your Japanese ain't as fluent as ours."

Shampoo inhaled in an understanding fashion. Honestly, she was surprised the rather masculine girl was so nice about it. Having been at the throats of Akane and Ukyo for Ranma's hand, she was half expecting to be at any girl's throat nowadays, "Yes, Shampoo Chinese."

"I see," Tatsuki said with simple understanding, "And what's your real name? Well, if you have one if you don't mind me asking."

"Xian Pu," Chad murmured whilst Shampoo happily snuggled against his arm.

"Wow, Chad! You're already finishing off each other's sentences!" Keigo complimented cheerfully, evoking a strange tinge of dark red to flash across Chad's cheeks, which looked really out of place on his impassive visage.

"Why, Yasutora-san. I do believe you're blushing," Mizuiro teased in a pleasant demeanour, increasing Chad's blush.

"Way to go, dude. You're totally in there," Keigo elbowed him slyly.

"Oh leave him alone you guys."

"Hm. Thanks, Tats-."

"It's not his fault he's such a playboy."

Damn. He walked right into that one.

"Hm."

While Keigo, Mizuiro, and Tatsuki had fun playfully teasing their lucky friend as teenage friends so often did, Orihime was giving Ichigo a look that was both sympathetic and desirous in nature. A strange combination in of itself, 'I really hope Kurosaki-kun and I can have what Yasutora-kun and Shampoo-san have.'

"Okay, class. Settle down. It's time to begin," A bespectacled woman said as she sauntered into her classroom and Chad was spared further teasing.

…For now.

* * *

 _No Chance...that's what you've got_

 _Up against a machine too strong_  
 _Pretty politicians buying souls from us are PUPPETS_  
 _Who'll find their place in line_

Ukyo appeared in view of the occurrence of the theme song, racing past multiple cars. She wasn't just running, though, oh no. She was _power_ galloping with intent in her pacey stride.

"One way or the other, I'm taking Ranchan back from you, Kurosaki!"

 _But tie a string around your finger now boy_  
 _'cause it's, it's just a matter of time_  
 _'cause you've got..._

Kuno materialized beside her in the same power hurtling fashion.

"Today's the day thee met thy maker, by my honourable sword, vile barbarian!"

 _No chance..._

 _No chance in hell, (you've got)_

 _No chance…_

 _No chance in hell, (you've got)_

 _No chance…_

 _No chance in hell, (you've got)_

 _No chance…_

Mousse emerged on the other side of Ukyo, power dashing down the motorway with purpose.

"Yasutora! I won't let you take my Shampoo away from me!"

 _Come on, come on, come and get it! (Come on)_

 _Come on, come on, come and get it! (Come on)_

 _Come on, come on, come and get it! (Come on)_

 _Come on, come on, come and get it! (Come on)_

A long-black haired green leotard-clad young woman brandishing a ribbon appeared beside Kuno.

"Ohoohoohoohoohoo! So Ranma-darling is hiding out from my rivals in Karakura Town. Fine I shalt rescue him immediately."

They spared a glance with each other to ascertain that they were each on the same page.

"Either way, they've got no chance in hell!"

And the crazies sprinted off to Karakura Town in this weird cohesion they had going on.

* * *

XxX

(Somewhere Else - Whereabouts Disclosed)

XxX

Ryoga Hibiki, aka the Eternal Lost Boy, had accidentally traversed to some strange places, to say the very least.

Every fast food restaurant under the sun in Japan?

Check.

Every establishment in Japan?

Double check.

France?

Texas?

Africa?

Check - Check - Check again.

An underground fighting arena?

Quadruple check.

Hell, he had even managed to end up in a strip club by total accident and got a free lap dance for his troubles.

That last one wasn't bad all things considered, but we digress from the topic of Ryoga's visited locations. His strangest visited location yet would easily be this weird altered version of a Feudal-esque Japan with the inhabitants all wearing black robes and wielding pointy swords.

"Now where am I?" He wondered innocently enough. He only stepped out to get something to eat, though once the rain started to fall, he panicked. He ran off in an unknown direction and ended up here. Weird, "Better ask someone for directions," Stepping through a building labelled "Eleventh" he tried to make out which direction which lead him to someone who could help him get back to Nerima. To any normal individual, there would have been only two pathways, but Ryoga Hibiki was not a normal individual. Thus he saw a myriad of incandescent lights representing the many directions in his perspective.

'Which way's North-East?' He soon shrugged, 'Probably this way.' He went South-East.

Thankfully, though, fortune smiled on him in the form of one of the many shihakusho clad individuals slouched lazily on the floor and up against the wall, his scabbard perched against his raised knee.

"Excuse me, sir."

Ryoga almost winced by the razor-sharp gaze held in the bald-headed swordsman's dark eyes, "Yeah?"

"Um. Could you point me in the direction of Nerima?"

"Eh?"

"Ner-."

"I know what you said, idiot!" He roared with a scowl, evoking a wince from Ryoga. Already bored out of his bald skull, he just pointed to the right, "Get outta here!"

"Okay," Ryoga nodded, going the opposite way his finger indicated, 'Sheesh. What a jerk.'

'Does he realize he's going the wrong way?' He deadpanned, too lazy to do anything about it. The youngster had little to zero amounts of spiritual pressure anyway, so it wasn't like he was a threat, but even still, 'How the hell did a ryoka sneak into the seireitei undetected?' And why, too? As far as he knew, no other law-breaking shinigamis had been apprehended since Rukia a few weeks back.

It took Ryoga about ten minutes of meandering aimlessly, but he eventually found a set of doors, "Oh good, I think I've finally found the exit," He pushed open the double doors and found a bulky man with the wildest - strangest - hairstyle he would ever see sat in the centre of a bare room. Seriously, it made Goku's look somewhat sane by comparison. Also, he couldn't tell because he was sitting down, but he could've sworn the black star-styled haired swordsman was bigger than even that big-guy he saw with his Akane. She identified him as "Chado," strangely enough.

'Oh great. Another red herring. What else is new with my life?' Ryoga sarcastically asked himself. It wasn't all bad. Unlike the other black shihakusho swordsmen that he had seen in this strange primitive country, this one at least had on a white haori tossed over his broad shoulders, meaning he had to be something special, "Excuse me, sir. I was won-."

"Are you the one?" He asked in a deep, raspy voice and he lifted his head up to show Ryoga two bored eyes of disinterest.

"What do you mean sir?"

"Don't play dumb!" He demanded, eliciting a cringe from Ryoga at his tone as he stood, propping a huge shadow over Ryoga's form. His most noticeable features were the eyepatch on his right eye, the scar on the left side of his face running down and over his eye, and the bells tied to the edges of his pointy hair.

'Definitely bigger than Chado,' Ryoga noted with wide eyes.

As the titan of simplicity swung his rusty-looking sword, a shockwave so potent in nature triggered a tremendous upheaval that not only redefined the definition of "Through the roof" but gave Ryoga a lovely view of the clear blue sky.

"..."

'Holy crap!' Ryoga gaped, staring at the sky from the now half-broken building, 'Muscle-guy just destroyed half of this building by waving his sword!' Now he was frightened. He could sleep walk through walls, for sure, but comparing that to the muscle-man's outrageous feat was the equivalence of comparing the strength of an ant to the strength of an elephant. No competition. The elephant wins hands down!

"Now," Ryoga glanced back down and paled at the broad grin of clear insanity splitting the scar-faced man's face off, "Let's fight!"

Fight?

With him?

There was only one thing to say in this situation.

"Uh. I need an adult."

"I am an adult."

"Can't we just talk this out?"

Patience was not a strong point of the battle-hungry warrior, "No delays!" He roared, accelerating himself forward to meet his new contender, "Just fight!"

He didn't know how he did it. Whether fate was smiling on him - unlikely as it was, he was stuck with this madman after all - or the madman going easy on him Ryoga didn't care. All he knew was that he had to get out of line as fast as possible and did so, by throwing himself in a random direction, his back scarping roughly and ungracefully against the wooden flooring.

"Good reflexes," He complimented, even if he did give the boy a massive advantage. Fights weren't fun if they ended in seconds, "Let's see you keep that up."

"No," Ryoga pleaded, turning on his heels and dashing toward the wall, "I don't wanna fight you!" Ignoring the splinters flying in his face Ryoga ran through the wall, continuing to run to salvation, leaving the star-haired madman grinning insanely to himself, "Help me!"

"This is gonna be fun." Another hole in the wall was created.

XxX

"I've gotta get away from here!" Ryoga frantically told himself, coming to an intersection, "Left or right?! Left!" He went right.

Hardly five seconds passed and the madman was at the same intersection Ryoga was at moments before, "He went right!" So he took a left, blithely charging through multiple walls shortly after, "You're a fast one, ain't ya?"

As multiple mini explosions ensued, two of the madman's more distinctive subordinates appeared at the intersection which separated the two, one of those being the bald swordsman Ryoga partially met.

"I have to wonder if the captain or his new prey realize neither one is on the other's tail anymore?" The feminine one of the two asked with a dry grimace on his pretty face. He respected his captain greatly, but he could be so very ungraceful.

A cutesy-wootsy diminutive pink-haired girl with two perpetual blushes on her cheeks fluttered delicately on the bald swordsman's head, "I wonder if Lost-boy is Kenny-chan's long-lost son."

* * *

 **Just to leave ya on a devastating cliffhanger, you guys, take care. Make sure you join me next time with Ryoga and his adventures in the Soul Society! Bye**

 **Shane Mcmahon - Here comes the money**

 **Vince Mcmahon - No chance in Hell**


	4. Infiltration

**Disclaimer: I don't Bleach or Ranma 1/2**

* * *

"What a haul! What a haul!"

Akane sighed at the cheerfully-spoken slogan of one very greedy pervert. Ever since Happosai had integrated himself into Nerima's crazy recurring rut, the temperamental pseudo tomboy had come to know his annoying mantra almost as much as she knew her own, and whatever she heard his catchphrase ringing through the air she knew he was up to no good.

This time was no difference.

"Get back here you creep!"

"Give us back our underwear!"

Enraged cries accompanied by loud stampedes met Akane's ear before an angry mob of indignant females wielding brooms, mops, and other such household items appeared around the corner, chasing the little imp, whom wore a set of panties over his head as though it was a mask and had a green bag thrown over his shoulders filled with his stolen treasures, onto the playground, conveniently into Akane's direction.

If Akane had learned one about positive thing during Ranma's time living with the Tendos, it was how to stop a seemingly unstoppable rampaging pervert.

"Oh, Grandfather Happosai!~" She called out in a sickly sweet voice.

Happosai, thinking nothing of the malice hidden within Akane's angelic tone, glanced in her direction, hearts forming over his eyes, "Akaneeeeeeee!~" He chanted happily, his pursuers long since forgotten.

With an unnatural spring, he flew toward his targets, Akane's beautiful, heavenly cleavage, only to meet the boot of the girl herself into his chin, weakening his grip on his bag as he soared off elsewhere via the Akane-ass-kicking-express, his green bag laid by Akane's feet.

"He never learns," She sighed, bending down to scoop up the dropped bag filled with the girls' bras and panties, a cheery smile forming on her lips at the relieved sighs of the mob of girls, "Here you go, girls!" She chirped, tossing the bag to them.

"Thanks, Akane!" They chanted appreciatively, going on with their day.

Akane waved them off, her happy grin fading into a look of wistful contemplation as she glanced at the sky above. School hadn't even ended since Ukyo and Kuno took off in search of Ranma in Karakura Town, her sister told her before stalking off to the cafeteria for lunch, and already she was starting to think the cursed martial artist had the right idea evacuating Tokyo the first chance he could.

Given how many people were on his tail, living here in Nerima was a hassle that clearly wasn't worth whatever little merits it had, if it had any at all.

Sure, it hurt her quite a bit – as much as she tried to deny it – that Ranma thought the negatives outweighed the positives so much that he just had to abandon ship, but she could see why he would.

"Oh Ranma, you idiot."

She turned, carrying on with her day.

Baw. Why was she worrying about such a jerk for anyway?

He was probably off having fun in Karakura Town without her.

XxX

(Karakura Clinic)

XxX

Ranma certainly _was_ having fun sprawled out lazily on her side on a beige-coloured three-seated couch in the Kurosaki household living room, playing a fighting game on a console Karin lent her while the others were attending school. She was wearing one of Ichigo's shirts while her clothes were in the wash following yesterday's mini skirmish with the hollow.

The length of it reminded her how small her female form was in comparison to Ichigo's lanky, muscular self. It looked more like a dress than a shirt on her petite body, to the point she had taken to only wearing a set of Ichigo's draws underneath.

It wasn't even visible.

They were really quite comfortable too.

Lounging around in the sanctuary of the Kurosaki's residence and out of fate's radius was actually quite refreshing.

Hence lied the problem.

Ranma Saotome wasn't meant to get a duration of relaxation. Not a day in her life went by that wasn't messed up by misfortune, harassment or general mayhem. Even since she grew old enough to start memorizing events, mayhem had surrounded her at every turn.

In fact, it had only increased since she had moved to Nerima, thus she was not surprised, as much as she was annoyed, when one of her usual molesters crashed through Isshin's roof, landing before her in a heap surrounded by dust and splinters.

"Well, the vacay was fun while it lasted," She sighed, picking herself up, "What the hell are ya doing here, you old freak!?"

Happosai picked himself up, no semblance of surprise or even wounds on his person despite the explosive kick from one city to the other from Akane, euphoria surging through him at the sight of his faux sex-toy, her creamy legs draping over the couch, "Oh, Ranma-chan!~"

Ranma stiffened at the lust in the elder's eyes, covering her assets defensively, "Get away from me, you creep!" She demanded, abruptly tossing a pillow at the old man.

Happosai batted the incoming object away, his lecherous grin widening by the second as he took a threatening step forward, his malevolent aura weighing Ranma down, "Kukukuku. Now we can play, my pretty!"

Pushing herself back up against the couch, Ranma buckled her knees tightly together, "Oh man."

Happosai bent down, pushing the innate energy flowing through his diminutive body into his legs for an extra spring, "Ranma!~" With a cheerful cry of joy, the childish stagnant elder flew forward, right into the roundhouse foot that batted him away from the girl.

"Isshin?" Ranma blinked, thankful for his interception as the bread-winner landed on his feet from the jump kick, hands on his hips with an uncharacteristic serious frown on his bearded face.

"Ow! Who did that?" Happosai whined after bouncing off of the wall, rubbing the back of his head. Picking his head up, his eyes widened at the familiar figure standing before him and his prize, "Oh!" He stood, waving cheerfully at Isshin, "Hi ya, fella. Long-time no see. Whatcha doing here?"

"I live here," Isshin deadpanned.

"Wait a sec," Ranma said with a blank look, pointing at Happosai from behind her barrier, "You know the old freak, Isshin?"

Happosai adjusted his little head to the side to glimpse at the red-haired beauty, wetting his lecherous smirk, drawing a cringe from Ranma.

Isshin, as if sensing his "third daughter's" discomfort from his old acquaintance's perverted stare, moved to block her, eliciting a sigh from Happosai.

"Yes, my pretty," Happosai said, removing a pipe from his makeshift Karate Gi, lighting it with a small discharge of Ki on the end of his finger. Ignoring Ranma's glare at the pet-name, the small lecher of nigh immortality inhaled, exhaling his stress away in one relaxed cloud, "Why, me and the boy go way back. Right fella?"

"Yeah, we were such great buddies, back in the day, you and I," Isshin sarcastically confirmed.

"Ah!~ The good old days."

XxX

(Flashback – Years ago)

XxX

" _Give us back our underwear, you creep!"_

 _The blissful cries of fierce young ladies greeted Happosai as he skipped away from Karakura High School, typical burglar-like bag filled with his hard-earned treasures flung over his shoulders and a pair of panties slung over his head._

" _Ah!~ The innocence of beautiful young ladies!~ What a haul!~ What a haul!~" He chirped, seeing a half-eaten apple hurled through the air, "What's this? An early smack for a well-behaved boy like me," Grinning impishly, Happosai bounced up, ready to gobble his morsel whole._

 _An ethereal crystalized arrow rocketed into view, tugging at Happosai's scruff before his mouth could capture the bait and carried him to a wall, effectively pinning him._

" _What?" He blinked, realizing his predicament when a slender, fair peached-skinned girl with short orange-hair wearing the same red sailor fuku uniform as the others appeared before him, her hands drooping to her sides, "Hey, that's no fair! You cheated, cheater!" He whined babyishly, hopelessly flailing his limbs about._

" _Thanks, Masaki!" A nondescript beauty smiled Masaki's way. With malevolent smirks, the other beauties purged their belongings from Happosai, then proceeded to relentlessly laid into him with their makeshift household weaponry._

" _Your welcome!" Masaki smiled, full of spirit._

" _We'll take it from here."_

" _Don't pummel him too badly."_

" _We'll try."_

 _Masaki giggled, carrying herself away with grace to Happosai's close-minded perception._

 _ **Ah, Masaki. She was quite the woman I'll tell ya, fella. Strong, independent, frivolous, bubbly, and she was gorgeous, and I mean hubba-hubba gorgeous, and I was but a fool in love.**_

 _XxX_

" _Masakiiiiiiiiii!~" Happosai's flight was ended by Masaki's foot pinning him to the ground after materializing above him speedily, her other foot curled on the side of the anchored leg, and her hands on her hips._

" _You again?" She asked, kicking the old man away from her with huge disinterest, "Come to steal more underwear, have ya?"_

" _Oh Masaki," Tears pooled in Happosai's eyes as he picked himself up, "How could you say that? And here I thought we had bonded so much?"_

" _Right," Masaki feigned interest, continuing on with potent sarcasm dipping from her tone, "Because all those times I foiled your panties raids brought us soooo~ close together, pervert."_

" _How could you be so cruel?" Happosai cried melodramatically, shielding his tears with his arm, "I'm just a little old man!"_

 _Rolling her eyes, Masaki bluntly asked with zero consideration for Happosai's feelings, "Do you honestly expect sympathy from me? I don't like you."_

" _Well," Happosai said, blanking out Masaki's distaste for his overall character with a gleam of opportunity in his eyes, "I could forgive ya," He sprung forward, arms extended wide, "If ya would just lemme have a squeeze of your knockers!"_

 _Masaki dematerialized swiftly, reappearing underneath the flying Happosai, her foot stuck to Happosai's stomach. With a push, she gave him his millionth trip to the heavens, "Get out of here!" She demanded, flipping up right with an angry huff, "Damn it! How can anyone so old be so childish?!"_

XxX

(End of Flashback)

XxX

"Ah!~ Happy times," Happosai smiled in fond remembrance.

"Gee. You've sure changed wonderfully, you old freak," Ranma said caustically.

"Yeah, Masaki-chan brought out the best in me," He sighed wistfully, rounding a furious glare on Isshin's lopsided grin. He looked like he was trying not to laugh, "Then YOU _had_ to mosey on by, and ruin our relationship, you whippersnapper!"

"She never liked ya, old man," Isshin smirked, earning himself rapid blinks in quick succession from Ranma at his change in demeanour, "And neither did I."

Happosai waved, discarding Isshin's hatred for him, "Oh, come now, fella. I'm over that now. You won the lady's hand fair and square," He looked around the place, half pleased with his observation, "By the way, where is milady? I would really like to see her after so long."

"She's dead," Isshin coldly elucidated, a hard gaze in his eyes, making Ranma stare at his back sadly, flashes of him crying theatrically in relief that his delinquent son had finally found a girlfriend to a big poster the siblings told her was Masaki - their deceased mother - coming to her mind.

"Oh? She is?" Happosai asked with some sadness welling up inside of his heart, though his demeanour remained rather nonchalant even at Isshin's nod of confirmation. That one was a real pretty, but she was already well out of his reach, "Oh, well that's too bad, fella. Ya have my condolences, 'cause now you won't be able to pay me back for stealing Masaki away from me."

"What a tragedy."

"Unless."

"Go on."

Happosai sprung forward optimistically, "You let me have a feel of Ranma-chan's breasts!"

Isshin grabbed Happosai's face and chucked him through the way he came in, the old man's form fading away until it was nothing but a sparkle in the sky.

"Man, even after all these years, he's still the same creepy old man as he was then as he is now," Isshin said, shaking his head.

"You're telling me," Ranma confirmed with an ironic smile tugging at her lips, her form noticeably relaxing with the removal of Happosai from the premises, her legs drooping over the couch, "The old freak takes every chance he gets to grope me."

"Eh?" Isshin blinked blankly, "That doesn't make any sense. What about your dad? Doesn't he intervene?"

Ranma stifled a snicker with the back of her hand. To someone as protective of his daughters as Isshin was, Genma's passive acceptance of Happosai's molestation of her must have been revolting, "You kidding? The old freak has Pops and Mr Tendo firmly wrapped around his finger. They're scared to even think of stepping outta line let alone making an attempt to."

"I see," Well that was concerning to hear. What father with any semblance of dignity and affectionate for his daughter would be content to watch an old man molest her so vulgarly? Isshin would happily turn murderer to waste any man with the audacity to sexually assault his precious Yuzu and Karin.

"Um. Hey, Isshin?" Ranma asked carefully, making Isshin blink at her dewy-eyed look. She looked so cute Isshin had to refrain himself from hugging her right there and then.

"Yeah, dear. What do you need?" Isshin asked, causing Ranma to feel uncomfortable at his kind, patience approach to her.

Bringing her knees up to her chest, Ranma wrapped her arms behind them, "Well, 'bout Ichi-chan's mom," Realization flashed across Isshin's countenance even before she finished her explanation, "I got the feeling she was pretty tough from the old freak's story, so I was wondering what kinda martial arts she studied under."

"None."

"Eh?" Did that make her a shinigami then? Ranma didn't want to just come out and say it given that Ichigo had informed her his family wasn't aware of his shinigami powers, but if Masaki wasn't a martial artist then how could she disappear so quickly that not even Happosai could track her movements?

"She was actually a Quincy," Isshin explained as if sensing Ranma's confusion.

"Quincy?" Well that just opened up more doors, "What's that?"

"Good question," Isshin crossed his arms, raising one arm to rub his chin thoughtfully, "I'm not good at explaining stuff either."

"That makes two of ya, 'cuz Ichi-chan ain't either," Ranma quipped, lopsided grin tugging at her lips, "Least I know where he gets it from. Like father, like son."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Isshin whined in a playful fashion.

"I think it means the moron apple doesn't fall from the moronic tree!" Ranma jokingly mocked, snickering at Isshin theatrically tossing his head and balled fists up.

"Masaki!" He cried, "Our third daughter mistreats me so badly!"

"'Cuz you're easy-pickings, old man!~" Ranma smiled, promptly getting Isshin to cease his theatrics to better observe her sunny innocence. She had such a lighthearted spirit Isshin couldn't see why anyone couldn't appreciate her, even if she was brash and a bit of a tomboy. In fact, he had the perfect description for her.

'She's like a fuse version of Karin and Yuzu!' Isshin almost had tears in his eyes. All the tomboyish masculinity and sarcastic wit mixed with the cheerful innocence and compassion of Yuzu made Ranma. Isshin couldn't have asked for a better third daughter, "Alright, that's enough. I've gotta summarized description of a Quincy that should suffice."

Ranma grinned expectantly, "Let's hear it!"

"Quincies are essentially super powered humanoid archers."

"Wow, that's actually pretty clever for ya. Hell musta frozen over, huh?" She said, making Isshin's shoulders droop. Feeling bad, Ranma leaned forward, patting Isshin on the head, "I'm just kidding, old man. It's great really."

"You're so sweet!" Isshin cried, swinging his arms around Ranma, caressing the redhead's cheek happily, drawing a dry smile from her.

"This is new," Ranma said, relaxing into Isshin's touch, "I'm gonna go out on a limb here, but if Ichigo's mom was a Quincy, would that make ya a shinigami?"

Isshin dislodged himself from Ranma with genuine surprise evident on his countenance, "Yeah, how'd ya know?" This shown she wasn't just a generic pretty face if she was able to guess that considering she came through the window with Ichigo from the teen's own "secretive" dealings.

"I'm telepathic," She gave him a fake reply before answering for real, "I'm just quick on the uptake."

"I see," Isshin said, arms crossed over his chest, "You're right, though, in that I am a shinigami.

"Can I see it?" Ranma asked with an eager look in her sparkling blue eyes, "Your shinigami form that is."

"Not right now," Isshin shook his head, "My powers are in a state of suspended hibernation."

"How come?" The redhead tilted her head to the side.

"It's complicated."

"Lemme guess," The red-haired wise girl's convention lopsided smirk wriggled up the corners of her lips, "Can't be summarized in a few neat words, right?" Isshin blinked, jestingly feigning ignorance.

"Yeah! How'd ya know?"

Ranma tapped her temple a few times, her silly grin turning sarcastic, "Telepathy, remember?"

"How could I forget?!" Isshin exclaimed theatrically, shielding his eyes with his arm, giving the redhead just a small glimpse of his left eye filled with amusement to let her know he was only playing around.

"Ever thinking 'bout going into showbiz?" Ranma giggled, "Betcha could make a fortune with those acting skills, old man."

Isshin cleaned his nostrils with his index finger, faking humility, "Well, I'm honoured you rate me so higher, m'dear, but I can't leave my precious daughters to fend for themselves," He possessively hugged Ranma for emphasis, his bearded face tickling her smooth cheek.

"What 'bout Ichi-chan?" Ranma said inquisitively, stifling her snickers at Isshin's dramatics, "Won't he need protecting?"

"Ichigo can take care of himself," Isshin said with reassuring confidence. He was a big boy, "After all, he is the jack-of-all trades."

"Jack-of-all-trades?" Ranma blinked in his grasp, catching on to Insinuation of Isshin's witty description for Ichigo. If Isshin was a shinigami, and Masaki, Ichigo's mother, was a Quincy, that only left one other spiritual being Ranma had discovered existed all of yesterday ago, and if Ichigo wasn't part it too then Isshin would have just said all his children were part Quincy and Shinigami, "Are ya insinuating Ichi-chan's also one-third hollow too?"

"Yep!"

"Boy, god won't have to look hard to find a successor, huh?" Isshin giggled, finding Ranma's acerbic wit truly hilarious, "Though I'm curious, how'd Ichi-chan end up becoming every race under the flipping sun?"

"Masaki got affected with a hollow virus," Isshin summarized, "I had to stabilize her essence with my shinigami powers."

"-And that's why your shinigami powers went into sleep mode, and Masaki, feeling touched by your heroic sacrifice, connected with ya. You eventually started dating, got married sometime down the road, and reproduced Ichi-chan and his sisters."

"Precisely!" Isshin grinned, "I'm impressed you were able to follow all that dear."

Ranma's own grin was far more bashful than Isshin's, "Well, it wasn't exactly difficult to figure out."

Isshin nodded, "Should make for an interesting story to tell you and Ichigo one day."

Ranma blinked, "Eh? You mean you haven't told Ichi-chan of his lineage yet?"

"Eh. Well, the topic just hasn't come up yet," Isshin said awkwardly, grasping his hands together and dropping onto his knees, "So please! Don't tell the boy until I'm ready to inform him myself."

"Aw, don't sweat it, old man," Ranma shrugged, "My lips are sealed."

"You're so sweet!" Isshin hugged Ranma again.

"Ehh. It's nothin'," Ranma assured him humbly, "After Ichi-chan, you're like the second person to ever protect me. The least I could do to return the gesture is to respect your wishes."

"Eh?" Isshin blinked, dislodging himself from Ranma. He admired her integrity, but her casual statement that no one other than Ichigo had protected her before he did didn't compute with him, "What do you mean?"

"No one ever protects me," Ranma shrugged blandly, "Not without some kinda incentive anyway. Most guys in Nerima either want to tie a knot around my finger, roast my butt, or just plain use me for their own gain."

"I see," Isshin stood, crossing his arms with a thoughtful frown on his usually happy face, "Well, that's concerning. No matter how many times me and my kids banter, when it comes down to it, we look out for our own."

"Look out for our own, huh?" Ranma recited softly, the words foreign on the tip of her tongue, which she admitted bluntly, folding her arms behind her head and tucking her legs inward in a triangle shape, "Never heard of that. The main slogan floating around Nerima is 'numero uno'. Every man and woman for themselves."

"Well that won't do!" Someone as honourable as Ranma shouldn't live in such a dishonourable neighbourhood, "How would ya like to live here, Ranma?"

Ranma blinked, her arms falling limply to her sides, "You really mean it?" She looked at him suspiciously, "You're not just pulling my leg, are ya?"

"Sure do!" Isshin chirped affirmatively, placing his hands on his hips, "I'll even get Ichigo to pick up the reminder of your things for ya."

This time it was Ranma who initiated contact between the two, lifting herself up on her feet and leaning forward to throw her arms around Isshin's neck, grinning cheerily, "Thanks, old man!~"

"Aw, shucks," Isshin wrapped his muscular arms around Ranma's slender form, covering her with that same intangible blanket of warmth Ichigo had spread around her form only the other day, "Anything for one of my daughters."

Ranma giggled, gently pulling away from Isshin and seating herself on her knees, looking up at the overprotective breadwinner with a smile on her face.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, m'dear, I gotta get back to work," Isshin slumped, slouching off, "Also, I better inform my old buddy of our rodent problem while I'm at it too."

"Buy-Buy, old man. Try not to kill anyone, will ya?" Ranma said with her strange slangy speech mechanisms, happily waving Isshin off, "Booyah!" She bragged, sprawling herself back into her lazy sideways position before Happosai burst in, picking up the controller, "My luck must be finally starting to look up with this!"

A permanent home away from the 'fiancées.'

Away from all the bickering between the suitors and her and Akane.

Away from the peer pressure of carrying on a merged school she was never noted she had to combine by marrying someone she had never even met before.

And into a city with civil folk with honour.

Sign her up.

What could possibly go wrong?

XxX

 _City of Insanity_

 **C**

 **H**

 **A**

 **P**

 **T**

 **E**

 **R**

 **FOUR**

Infiltration

XxX

(Karakura High School)

Ichigo wanted to freak out madly, framing both sides of his face with his hands and deny vigorously the occurrence that happened before him on the rooftop of his school did not just happen, but he didn't.

Maybe it was because he spent so long silently anguishing the slow transpiring of his nightmare before his eyes, but Ichigo just couldn't find it in him to shout wildly the instance a character from his nightmarish premonition dropped directly from the sky, leaving a small crater in the ground.

"Ahh!" Besides, he had Keigo for that, "That old man just dropped from the sky!"

"Yes, Asano-san. We were all here when it happened," Mizuiro said with bone-chilling indifference. Keigo glared, but didn't respond.

"This sucks," Ichigo grouched, slouching against the metal fence. His recess was decidedly ruined.

Keigo peeked over at him from beside Mizuiro, "Eh? You know that old dude, Ichigo?"

"I do!" Shampoo bubbled at the prospect of being useful, raising her hand up. Her expression soon soured, however, "That dirty old resident pervert of Nerima, name Happosai. Grand-Grandmother call him Happy."

"Wait. The old man's a perv?" Tatsuki asked with a look of annoyance, instinctively sliding two steps to the right to shield Orihime.

Shampoo looked at her, giving her a nod of confirmation, "Yes. He not only go and nab panties of other girls, he grabs onto first girl's chest in sight."

"That creep!"

"Eh? Someone talkin' about me?" Happosai asked, picking himself up from the ground.

"Oh! Look who decided to join us, the grandfather of perverts?" Happosai's attention was drawn to the acerbic quip of a beautiful tomboy, hands on her slightly curvy hips, though as nice-looking as she was, the girl behind her was even nicer, "Better keep your eyes off of us or else you'll forget it!"

With hearts forming in his eyes, Happosai stood, "Hubba-Hubba, baby!"

Already knowing of Happosai's brazen perversion from his dream, Ichigo attempted to warn his female friends, "Tatsuki! Orihime! Watch out!" Key word being attempt. As soon as the first words left his mouth, Happosai had already left the ground, skipping over Tatsuki's head to get to his prize.

"Hey!" Tatsuki shouted, feeling a chill run down her spine at Keigo's yelp and at the old man's gagging noises accompanied by Orihime's awkward laugh. She turned, her eyes narrowing at Happosai's forceful molestation of Orihime's assets, eliciting a blush that was discomforting in every sense of the word from her, "You pervert! I'll kill you!"

She lunged, but Happosai flipped off of Orihime and attached himself onto her chest, squirming his head rapidly over her B-cup breasts. Getting slightly poked in the breast by a horny teenager was one thing, but getting molested by an old man and such in a vulgar way was the most discomforting thing Tatsuki had ever felt.

"Ahh!" The tomboy screamed as Keigo yelped, backing up.

"Tatsuki!" Shampoo made a move to press forward, but was forced to change her approach when Happosai lunged at her. Fortunately, Chad's massive hand was there to block Happosai from her chest, "Thanks, airen. Only you touch chest of Amazonian warrior."

"Hm." Chad hummed, trying to maintain his sobered demeanour at Shampoo's insistence.

"Hey, no fair! You cheated! Cheater!" Happosai whined, frustrating Tatsuki before he was forced to weave in mid-air out of range from a punch from a tangerine-headed teen, "Oh. You wanna piece of me, do ya whippersnapper?"

"You damn old bastard!" Ichigo raged, swiping at nothing but air, "What gives you the right to touch girls inappropriately, you old pervert?" His fist was halted in place by the tip of the old man's pipe, 'What the hell? How can such a little grandpa twerp have such strength!?'

"You're about a hundred years too early before ya can roll with me whippersnapper," Happosai mocked, driving his pipe into Ichigo's chest with all the equivalence of a wrecking ball, forcing him to the far end of the rooftop, his body denting its surface, "Hahahaha!"

"Ahhh!" Keigo screamed, perfectly depicting his friends' horror at the diminutive old man's absurd feat. "He just sent Ichigo flying!"

"No way," Tatsuki murmured, staring at Happosai as if seeing him in a new light; one that was dark and malevolent, "Is he even human?"

"Oh no," Orihime clasped her hands in fright.

Happosai glanced over his shoulder, a malice smirk tugging at his lips, "Don't worry, my pretty, I have just the ticket to cheer you up," He reached into his Gi, brandishing a pink frilly bra, "Ta-da!"

"You can't be serious!" Tatsuki yelled, defensively clenching her fist for all the good it would do.

"What? You don't think she'll like it?" Happosai looked to be on the verge of tears, filling Orihime with sadness.

"I'm gonna,-" Tatsuki stepped forward, but Chad blocked her view.

"Airen?"

"Hm." Chad murmured, "Leave him to me."

"Yeah!" Keigo cheered, pumping his fist in the air, "If anyone can beat that freakishly strong old man than Chado can!"

"Go, Airen!~" Shampoo cheered.

"So, fella. Ya think you're ready for summa this, do ya?" Happosai smirked, twirling his pipe skilfully around in his index and middle fingers for emphasis.

Chad hummed, dropping into a stance.

"Yasutora Sado!" Everyone looked over to the door to find Mousse charging forward with intent in his stride, "I won't let you take my Shampoo away from me!"

"Gah! Stupid Mousse!" Shampoo groaned just as Mousse jumped into the air, "When you learn Shampoo no like you?"

Ignoring Shampoo, Mousse released a flurry of chains hidden within the long depths of his sleeves at Chad, causing Tatsuki and Keigo to gape at the absurd feat as Chad's left arm was chained up.

"Woah! Where was he hiding all of those?" Keigo asked, pushing his cheeks inward.

"Ohh~!~ I know! Maybe he's like an magician!" Orihime beamed, drawing a dry smile from Tatsuki.

"You have one wild imagination, Orihime."

The bespectacled trickster leaped over Chad's head, but not before propping a tremendously large "present" on top of his hand, landing by Keigo with his arms tucked into his long sleeves, the brown-haired teen cringing and stumbling away from him.

"Ha! Let's see you move with that?" Mousse said smugly, making everyone present look closely to find a grey dumbbell-like object the size of a boulder atop of Chad's hand.

"Uh. Maybe he is a magician after all," Tatsuki said, lost for words. How the hell did he have the spaces in his pockets to hide that?

"Told you so!" Orihime bragged.

"What is that thing?" Keigo asked.

"It's a bomb," Mizuiro clarified casually, as if there wasn't an explosive device with enough power to eradicate the lot of them in the vicinity.

"How do ya know that?!"

"My dad owes a lot of explosives, and I tend to play around with them in my spare time."

"So I'm hanging out with a potential firebomber."

"I don't even wanna know what you'll be when you get older," Tatsuki remarked with a dry smile and Mizuiro just shrugged. She turned to the actual already developed bomber, placing a hand on her hip, "Hey, you! What's the big idea bringing bombs in here? Are you trying to kill everyone here or what?"

Mousse scowled at her, "Not everyone, just him!" He turned back to Chad, his eyes widening behind his lenses at the fact he wasn't showing signs of exertion or stress despite holding up such an absurd amount of weight, "What! You can hold that up!?" Chad nodded, 'This guy's not human...'

Casually, Chad removed the chain binding the bomb to his wrist, causing Mousse to pale at the atrocity of the achievement. Then, as though Chad couldn't get any more unbelievable for Mousse to comprehend, flipped the bomb up like a football, and kicked, punting it several miles through the air until it was basically touching the clouds above the sky.

A mini explosion ensued, roofing the sky apart in a beautiful, dazzling display of explosive brilliance Orihime awed at through big-doe eyes.

"Oh wow," Orihime murmured, her grey eyes reflecting the light of the explosion, "It's like fireworks!"

"Way to go, Chado!" Keigo praised, tucking one elbow inward and pumping his other fist into the air, "Show this firebomber dude you can't be defeated like that!"

"Hm," Chad nodded Keigo's way, turning a stoic glance to his opponent of the day, who was scowling defensively behind his lenses, "Ready to surrender?" It was a simple, fair enough offer, and one Chad was hoping the long-sleeved, long-haired bespectacled lunatic would take so anymore potential collateral damage could be avoided.

"Ha! Not on your life. I'm not still finished with you, Yasutora Sado!" Mousse declared, drawing multiple sighs at his pig-headed tenacity.

"Stupid Mousse!" Shampoo yelled, propping a hand on her hip, "You can't beat Airen! He even stronger than Ranma!"

"Ha," Mousse scoffed, smug grin darkening his visage, "Implying I'm weaker than that sick Saotome! My dear Shampoo, I see Yasutora has warped your mind."

"Boy, this guy sure is delusional," Tatsuki noted, her expression drying up.

"Ha-Ha," A nervous titter escaped the lips of Keigo in an attempt to brighten up the situation, "Well, let's look at it this way, at least things couldn't possibly get worse. Right?"

"How could things possibly get worse?"

It got worse.

The already dire circumstance escalated when the dark blue and black kimono and hakama clad bokken wielding swordsman purposely rushed into the rooftop, his wooden sword raised above his head with intent, "Vile barbarian, Kurosaki! Where art thee?!"

"Me and my big mouth…" Tatsuki slapped her forehead in frustration.

"Him again," Chad partly identified, an awkward bead of sweat rolling down his cheek, 'This is getting bad. If this keeps up, Ichigo'll have to release his soul form from his physical body," That would be quite the surprise for their non-spiritually aware friends in Tatsuki and the boys whom will also unaware to the existence of the supernatural.

"What now?!" Ichigo demanded, prying himself from the dented hole in the metal fence surrounding the rooftop, hand on his forehead, 'Damn! That old man hits hard.'

Kuno traced his voice back to his location on the rooftop, his eyes darkening in malevolent glee at the sight of his formidable adversary, "At last, I hast located thee, foul fiend! Now, prepare to be vanquished by the Blue Thunder Attack!" Taking a few long strides forward, Kuno performed several speedy, powerful strokes to thin air, generating a myriad of condense crescent moon-shaped air-blades.

And they were flying toward Ichigo at breakneck speeds.

"Lalalalalalalalalala!"

"Crap!" He dodged the first barrage, then a second one until the tangerine-headed teen was performing crazy dance twisters whilst the destruction of the metal fence continued to slowly occur.

"Holy crap! This dude's insane!" Keigo yelped as half of the right side of the rooftop's fence began a slow, almost majestic descent to the ground below, his hands clasping his head for dear life.

"Just the air pressure of his sword," Mizuiro noted in a whisper, his calm disposition betraying his worried feelings bottled up inside of him. In a flash, his phone was out and his fingers were typing away at the buttons.

"This is getting out of hand," Tatsuki murmured in fright of what she just witnessed, "Hey, Kojima-san! Call the cops, so they can take these nut-jobs to the loony-bin!"

"I'm already two steps ahead of you," Mizuiro replied, phone next to his ear, "Hello, police. I'm calling to report a dramatic disturbance in the area," He nodded, absorbing the words over the line with a few nods and mumbles, "Yes, it's Karakura High School."

"Oh no you don't!" Mousse exclaimed, leaping upward, more devices flying out of his sleeves, "I'm not going anywhere until I rescue my Shampoo!"

"Mizuiro!" Keigo screamed, sighing in relief when Chad got in front of Mizuiro and batted the devices away with a wave of his massive palm, "Phew. That was too close. Nice one Chado."

"Go," Chad commanded hoarsely, "I'll hold him off."

"You don't need to tell us twice!" Keigo said, running toward the exit. He stopped, turning his head over his shoulder to usher Mizuiro along with a beckoning of his hand, "C'mon dude!" Mizuiro shrugged, sauntering after Keigo as if his life wasn't in any significant danger.

"What about you?" Tatsuki asked, turning a glare to Mousse who was glaring furiously at Chad, "Will you be okay holding off this wacko 'till the cops come?"

"Hm," A nod was all she got.

"Tatsuki!" Ichigo's authoritative voice echoed, and Tatsuki and Orihime were overjoyed to see he had gotten himself out of his rapid tennis ball cannon-like air barrage predicament by cleverly rolling to the side. Now, he was running sideways, and Kuno marched his stride pace for pace, "Do as Chado says! And get everyone out of the building! Now!"

"What?!" Tatsuki yelled back puzzlingly, mulling over the dreaded insinuation of the entire school building coming down on everyone's heads, "Ichigo, what the hel-?"

"Just do it!"

With a flinch, Tatsuki relented, "Alright. Fine! But you owe me!"

Ichigo was too busy entertaining Kuno to really go over the details, so he just hastily accepted the terms of their deal, "Sure! Whatever you want! Now, go!"

"Such arrogance! Thee talk as though thee shalt live after being slayed by my sword!"

"Keep talking while you can. You haven't seen nothing yet!"

Shaking her head, Tatsuki began to turn to Orihime, "C'mon Orihime, le-." The tomboy's words died in her throat when she spotted Happosai perched comfortably upon Orihime's breasts, "Damn it! Get off of her, you old pervert!" She lunged, but Happosai flipped off of her chest.

"Aw, c'mon baby. I weren't bothering anyone," Happosai insisted, weaving out of the way from an explosive kick from Shampoo, "Ah. So ya wanna piece of me next, do ya?"

"Shampoo?"

"Go. Shampoo hold perv off!" She asserted, her gaze firmly locked with Happosai's smug one.

"Thank you," Orihime whispered softly, her hands grasped on her chest. Feeling another hand tugging at hers, she glanced at Tatsuki to see her smirking in Shampoo's direction and allowed her to take her hand.

"Give him hell for us, pal!" Tatsuki asserted. With a promising nod, Shampoo leaped up to engage Happosai in a blurry battle of fisticuffs, the two moving at speeds Orihime couldn't even track let alone Tatsuki, "I'm not even gonna try and track that," That said, she chaperoned her friend to the doorway, and their stride was ceased when their ears picked up the sounds of rapid approaching footsteps, "Oh what now?"

From the darkness emerged Ukyo, the tomboy leapfrogging acrobatically over Tatsuki's and Orihime's heads, her momentum carrying her through the air, "Ichigo Kurosaki!"

"Gee. I sure am popular today," Sarcastically said, Ichigo took a gamble, racing forward and just barely grabbing onto Kuno's sword with his hands, keeping him in place.

"I say, what is the meaning of this?! Unhand me immediately, vile barbarian!"

"Prepare to embrace death!" Ukyo yelled, tossing several smaller spatulas as though they were shuriken at the two, and Kuno, being Ichigo's shield, took them head on, gritting his teeth to hold in the pain.

"I see… so… _that_ was thy dastardly intention… to use I, Tatewaki Kuno, as thy personal shield…" Kuno wheezed, mustering up a glare at Ichigo's smug face, "Quite admirable to use one such as I as thy shield, if not truly despicable."

"Thanks, pal. You make an adequate meat shield," Ichigo quipped, foot shoving Kuno into the incoming tomboy's path.

"Out of the way!" Ukyo demanded and with a flourish, brandished her giant spatula, swatting Kuno away.

"Wait. Hold up," Ichigo requested and Ukyo actually obliged so he could inspect her features more closely. The tomboy's relatively high pitched voice and masculine outlook didn't correspond, "You're a girl?"

"Well, duh."

"Could've fooled me honey."

"Shut up!" Ukyo asserted, springing forward to pancake Ichigo, though the tangerine-headed teen rolled expertly to the side as the okonomiyaki chef cratered the ground. It didn't last as it crumbled, falling in on itself.

"Idiot!" Ichigo said harshly, "Are ya trying to bring down the school or something!"

"If it means burying you six-feet under to save Ranma-honey, then yeah, down with school!" Ukyo smirked, slashing at Ichigo's legs, promptly getting him to push up off of the ground in swift evasion, his feet tucked underneath him.

"Uh. Ever figured maybe 'Ranma-honey' came here on her own free will for a respite away from the harassment of you screwballs?" Ichigo retorted, his expression remaining lackadaisical even as he flipped backward to avoid his head getting taken off by Ukyo's spatula, propping back up to his feet just as fast.

"You better not be implying what I think you're implying, sugar," Ukyo threatened, twisting her body around as Ichigo weaved to the side, slashing at him again.

"Oh?" A smirk crept across the lips of Ichigo as he parried Ukyo's weapon with a karate chop, "And what implications are ya referring to specifically? The one that says Ranma doesn't want to be anywhere near you freaks or the one that implies she's spending some quality time as a girl?" He crossed his arms, absorbing the enraged side kick Ukyo slammed into him, "Gonna have to be clearer, honey."

"Ranchan isn't a girl, you stupid jackass!" She yelled defiantly, using Ichigo's arms as leverage to push her entire body off of the ground, bringing her other leg around in a roundhouse kick aimed at Ichigo's head.

"Could've fooled me," He ducked, putting distance between them, "Ranma's having plenty of fun here as she is," He dropped the jest, his gaze turning icy as a result, "So why don't you just scram back to crazy town and leave her alone!"

"Oh?" Despite boiling over with rage at the audacity of this redefined thug to insinuate her fiancée would rather spend his time as a girl, Ukyo managed to repress her anger to call out Ichigo's bluff, "And I suppose you're willing to see through on that threat, huh sugar?"

Ichigo's cold, strong gaze representing his determination never wavered, "If that's what it takes to get you psychos off of Ranma's back then so must be! I'll do whatever it takes to protect her!"

"Heh!" Ukyo laughed, unleashing several shuriken-esque spatulas on Ichigo, "Your hypocrisy makes me laugh, jackass. If you really wanted to be protect _her_ , you would be a gentleman and hand Ranchan over to me."

"Tch," The tangerine headed warrior clicked his teeth with a grimace plastered on his face, furling his form in a ball in swift evasion of Ukyo's sharp projections.

Elsewhere on the battlefield, Happosai eventually had enough of his and Shampoo's air battle display, ending it with a heavy finger jabbed into her left breast, forcing her to the ground hard enough to rupture it.

"Shampoo," Chad said with a strange semblance of contained urgency he found difficult to convey through his monotone, through his actions spoke far louder than his words as he rushed to her.

"Shampoo!" Mousse roared, trying to rush to his dear Shampoo's side, but her new sweetheart swatted him away with an arm that was now glowing with all the illumination of a blue Christmas tree, sending the delusional Nerima resident burrowing across the ground.

"No choice," Chad said, his right arm now a symbolization of a power ranger armour, black in colour with a dark pinkish-red line running down the middle and the top of his armoured arm was split leaving a gap by his shoulder blade as if it was the insertion for his "ammunition."

"Getting serious now, are we fella?" Happosai smirked, leaping forward to meet Chad half way, shoving a Ki-enhanced little fist into the muscular teen's armoured balled hand, and the resulting collision of such magnitude opened up a crater that was continuing to give out at the scenes.

'I… can't believe such a pygmy old man is this strong?' Chad mused, a bead of sweat sliding down his cheek whilst his gigantic fist battled for dominance against the little one.

"Wow," Shampoo awed on her knees, "Airen so strong."

'Damn it! The school really is gonna come down if I don't end this right away!' Ichigo mulled over, weaving away from Ukyo's ever tenacious attacks, "Stop this, will ya? We're gonna end up destroying the school if this keeps up!" He really wasn't looking forward to enrolling in another school because he was partly at fault for the eradication of his old one.

"You know how to make this stop, sugar," Ukyo said, sporting her typical self-satisfied grin on her face, forcing Ichigo into another hasty evasion, "Hand over Ranchan and we'll be on our way."

"Damn it!" Sensing the foreboding aura, Ichigo hurtled forward, surprising Ukyo that he was actually retaliating instead of merely dodging and ducking like most men did in Nerima in response to a female's assault. Using his opponent's shock to his advantage, Ichigo captured her throat in a fierce vice-lock grip, lifting her up, 'This is where it gets worse.'

'Ohohohohoho,' Which was obviously code for, "another crackpot from his dream was materializing before him," just because his current circumstances sucked like that, "So this is where my Ranma-darling has been secluded," The leotard clad Kodachi smirked, springing off of the ground with her trademark red ribbon brandished.

"Go screw yourself!" Ichigo asserted, flinging the gagging Ukyo at the airborne gymnastic.

"What's this, a gift you say?" She taunted, skilfully parcelling Ukyo up within the walls of her lengthy ribbon, "I'm afraid I'll have to decline dearie. You see, civilized folk such as I often don't accept the gifts of uncivilized brutes such as yourself," She condescended, repelling Ukyo back at Ichigo, who rolled out of the way, "You do see my dilemma, don't you? It wouldn't bode well for someone of my high class to accept donation from trailer trash such as yourself, dearie."

"Gee. How humble of you," Ichigo remarked sarcastically, his face as dry as a bowl of cereal without milk.

"Evil sister!" Kuno scowled, dashing to his sister's side as she landed gracefully on the ground, "It shalt be I, Tatewaki Kuno, who shalt slay the vile barbarian Kurosaki to rescue the pigtailed goddess, not thou."

"Ohohohohoho. Brother-dear, you jest surely. By now, you must know of my objective to vanquish the red-haired harlot and reclaim my Ranma-darling from her vile clutches," Kodachi said theatrically, laughing wickedly behind her hand.

"Curse thee, Evil sister! I shalt not let thee lay even a single finger on the brilliance that is the pigtailed goddess' head without a fair and honourable clash of swords. Even if thee art my own flesh and blood I will do everything within my power to conserve my goddess from thy misguided grasp."

"That was truly a " _touching"_ speech brother-dear, but I'm afraid I can't hast the red-haired harlot subjugating my Ranma-darling any longer."

"What the fuck is wrong with you two?!" Ichigo inserted, drawing their attention. He could only take so much stupidity, and they had clearly pushed his buttons, "You do even realize the "two people" you're referring to are both one in the same, right?" His expression dried up.

"Ah!~ But of course," Kuno said with a realizing tone, but somehow, Ichigo didn't have much faith that he actually understood the implications of his statement, "Yes, how can I not? The dreaded sorcerer Saotome has the pigtailed goddess' mind and spirit locked into captivity. Such a cruel fate she suffers, yes. Death surely awaits the foul sorcerer for such a heinous transgression."

"Humph. It would be more accurate to say the red-haired harlot hast my Ranma-darling sealed into captivity, brother-dear."

"I'm heavily inclined to disagree Evil sister."

"So be it."

"I don't even know what to say," Ichigo sighed. What did one say to such blatant delusion?

"Silence!" Kuno swung his sword with authority, "Thee hast enounced thy egregious transgressions involving the fair maiden the pigtailed goddess a great deal of times already. Thee only hast thyself to blame for not taking the chance to vocalize thy last words."

'Who the hell says "enounce" and "egregious"?' Ichigo deadpanned. This guy was just saying big words in an attempt to make himself sound more sophisticated, when in reality, he was just a pretentious pseudo-intellectual.

"Now!" Kuno raised his wooden sword up high, in the perfect position to essentially be sniped, "Prepare to be slayed by th-." A bright blinding flash of an azure illumination connecting with his sword caused the reminder of his flowery sentence to die in his throat. Even before his head could turn up to gaze upon his sword to figure out what was causing it to glow, it had already shattered into a myriad of splinters, "What in the world!?"

"I apologize for the intrusion," The sarcasm was tangible even spoken through a cool, stoic voice that put a smirk on Ichigo's face.

"About time ya got here."

The Kuno siblings traced the voice to its source and the female of the two widened her eyes at the sight of a slender-built, fair-skinned bespectacled teen stood sideways with his arm extended, a spiritual bow on the end of his hand.

The bespectacled teen's most discernible accessory was the silver-coloured cross tied on the end of his right bow-equipped wrist.

Others characteristics of the handsome young man included his shoulder-length midnight blue hair, two bangs framing his oval-shaped face, and smartly-dressed demeanour, white dress shirt tucked into his grey pants, kept up by a black belt, polished black shoes fitted on his feet, and a blue-and-yellow striped tie coordinated neatly around his neck.

"But I don't take well to my quiet studies being interrupted by a myriad of thoughtless imbeciles," He finished, tactfully flipping them the bird by using his middle finger to push up his glasses, a glint of light fogging over the right lens.

Kuno's eyes narrowed, "I see. So thee have tampered in the ways of wizardry."

"I don't know what nonsense you spew, but it ends here!" He asserted, dematerializing slickly before Kuno's stunned filled eyes, reappearing in front of him. Before the mock-samurai could even react let alone dodge the archer's finger was jabbed into his throat.

"Ugh!" He gagged, stumbling backward, grasping his throat as he felt his eyes grow heavy, "What… hast… art… foul… fiend… do-?"

"I took the liberty of disabling your ability to breath properly," The archer cut in, having already grew intolerant to the mock samurai's speech mechanisms, "You'll pass out shortly after and won't wake up for some time."

With a futile attempt to stay up, Kuno fall in a heap on the battered ground, sprawled out in an eagle's spread.

"Sure took ya long enough, Uryu," Ichigo jokingly needled his old, once-upon-a-time arch-nemesis

"Humph. I'll have you know I was preoccupied with evacuating the students and faculty," Uryu said, coolly turning away from their mini banter in contempt.

At the mention of the evacuation of his fellow peers and superiors he had asked Tatsuki and Orihime to do, Ichigo turned, leaving the ground momentarily and spotting the crowd of gathered students on the ground floor.

"I see," He said, landing on his feet, "Thanks."

Uryu nodded, brushing off Kurosaki's appreciation before a dreamy moan of admiration dragged his attention to the remaining Kuno sibling standing by his side. The Quincy's eyebrow rose up above his lenses at her blush as she cupped the left side of her face with her hands.

"Darling."

"Did you hit your head as a baby?" He asked, feeling annoyance sink into him at the stifled snickers of Ichigo, "Don't you laugh!"

"Hey, I'm not laughing," Ichigo blatantly struggled to hold in his laughter.

"So childish," Uryu scoffed before he caught sight of the tomboy slouching to her feet and dematerialized to put her out of commission.

"Oh darling!~" Kodachi swooned, just managing to spot her new beloved behind Ichigo, silencing Ukyo much in the same way he had dealt with her dear brother, "You put on such a graceful, dazzling display of professionalism. I couldn't have thought of a better man to take my heart."

'Man, she really is crazy,' Ichigo thought dryly, 'Just a second ago she was infatuated with Ranma and now she digs Uryu just at a glimpse,' He sighed. How shallow could one girl get?

The swift materialization of Uryu's speed technique echoed from directly beside him, "I've incapacitated the lady and the boy," He said, and Ichigo looked to find Ukyo and Mousse sprawled out unconscious, "That just leaves the old man now."

"Good," Ichigo breathed out in relief, feeling like this nightmare was coming to an end, "Thanks, Uryu."

"Humph. I didn't intervene merely for your sake, you know?" Uryu retorted, "I have a school to attend and I would rather not have to relocate on account of a slew of imbeciles destroying the previous institution I was attending."

"Well it's good to see you know where your priorities lie," Ichigo dryly riposted, and Uryu didn't even dignify his sarcastic remark with a response, merely ghostly forward in a swift dematerialization of Hirenkyaku, "Bastard."

"Oh, my Uryu-darling."

"What the hell is wrong with you? You don't even know him!"

"But of course. One needs but a single glance to understand the magnificence of my Uryu-darling!"

"Gah!"

While the unsophisticated former thug and " _sophisticated maiden_ " bantered, Uryu materialized on Chad's right opposite to Shampoo, asserting his authority, "That's enough!"

"Uryu," Chad identified for Shampoo's sake.

"I would like to assume you have had your fun for the day, _sir,_ " Uryu said mockingly, eyeing the diminutive old man with a cold stare, "Since I would prefer we bring this petty conflict to an abrupt end before we accidentally bring about the destruction of the school."

Balling his fists tightly, Happosai saw red at the upstart brat's condescension of him, "You insolent little brat!"

Wasn't that awfully hypocritical of him? Uryu was less than thrilled to notify him of his hypocrisy in a witty manner, adjusting his glasses, "You provide a perfect example of the pot identifying the kettle as black, old man."

"Old man…" Happosai fumed and his eyes were shrouded in a deep blue of foreboding illumination, and his body followed, being bathe in a sea of overbearing blue spiritual energy potent enough to cause the spiritually-enhanced teens to widen their eyes at the level of power the old man was unleashing.

"What the hell?!" Uryu gasped, almost frozen at what his senses were picking up. Even both of Chad's eyes were tangible, "Where was he storing all of that energy from?"

"Chad! Uryu!" Ichigo said, galloping over to Uryu's side, his jaw clenched at the dangerous overflow of power being emitted from Happosai, "Damn it! What the hell is he doing?"

"Y'all little hoodlums need to learn your places!" Happosai yelled, and his body, normally tiny but picked with power, expanded hugely to reflect such, casting a gigantic shadow over not only the teens but the entirety of the school itself, and a malevolent red glow glinted within his pupils.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"What the hell is that old man?" Uryu asked futilely, staring in abject shock and just a little bit of terror at the nigh king-kong sized old man towering above them all.

"Airen!" Shampoo clasped tightly onto Chad's enormous arm.

"Damn it!" Ichigo growled, his face once a representation of desperation was now a reflection of the harsh fate he had accepted. Even if he was to push his shinigami form out of his physical body he would only be speeding up the inevitable. The building could barely sustain Happosai's vast lake of power let alone Ichigo's nigh limitless ocean amount of reiatsu, "Looks like we'll be taking a crack at another school after all guys."

"Humph. See you there."

The giant Happosai struck downward, causing the presumptuous upstarts, in his eyes, to scatter, for all the good it did. His massive arm arrowed into the ground, destroying the entirety of the roof in one go, plummeting them all to the top floor of the building, and the sheer weight of Happosai's Ki inflated body took them down to the next floor. This continued until they were at the bottom, and by that point nothing remained of the once four-story high building except rubble.

Lots, and lots, and lots of rubble.

From an outsider's perspective every row of windows scattered, one after the other after the giant old man sank into the building. Then the entire institution plummeted horrifyingly to the ground, its eradication shrouded in a myriad of dust.

"Uryu-darling," Kodachi said with concern. Somehow, she had managed to get in front of Uryu during the collapsing of the building, thus she ended up on top of him in the end, "Surely, you live! How tragic it would be for a damsel to lose her beloved so soon after finding him."

"Gah…" Uryu groaned, filling Kodachi with delight, "Yes, I thank you for your _touching_ concern, mademoiselle," He really hoped his sarcasm was evident through his exhausted tone, "But I'm going to have to ask you to remove yourself from me so I may sit."

"Oh darling!~" She chirped, helping Uryu up and glomping him possessively, making the Quincy almost wish Happosai had at least killed him so he could get away from this crazy girl, "I knew you were. True love prevails."

Gently pushing the decidedly obsessed girl away from him, Uryu glanced around him, "Is everyone alright?"

Shampoo balanced herself on her hands on her airen's muscular torso, eyeing his sprawled out form with rapid concern, "Airen! You alright?"

Chad lifted up his head, observing his girlfriend's worried visage through blurry, half-lidded eyes of sheer exhaustion. He mustered up a nod and a shaky thumbs-up, drawing a sunny smile from her.

"Hahahahaha! Whaddya know? I guess we did end up taking down the school!" Happosai chortled blithely, back to his normal size, "Down with school, eh fella?"

Ichigo glared at the tiny old man from where he laid, his uniform dirtied and torn all over, "You damn bastard!" He roared, flinging himself up to a sitting position to grab the old man.

Happosai flipped backward, but the end of a cane slamming down on his forehead pressed him back to the floor of deteriorated bricks, "Hey, no fair! You cheated-!" He yelled, but an additional pressure supplied by the beholder of the cane shut him up.

"My, it seems we're late! The party's already burned itself out!" A new jovial voice echoed, and the conscious Nerima residents widened their eyes at the new arrival.

A tall lean-built middle-aged looking man clad in a bush-coloured kimono under a long-sleeved, lengthy darker green coloured haori, green pants to match his kimono, wooden sandals fitted on his feet, and a white and green striped hat on his mane of bleached blonde hair, which to Ichigo, was the man's most defining piece of accessory. A few bangs of his paled yellow hair were seen sticking out of his hat, and a fringe hung in between his eyes.

"Mr Hat 'n Clogs?" Ichigo asked blankly, almost as if he couldn't believe his eyes, and Kisuke smiled softly, reaffirming his sanity, "What are ya doing here? Not that I'm not grateful for your timely arrival, though. Just curious."

"A little birdie told us you might require assistance with pest control," Kisuke quipped, removing a white and green striped fan from his kimono, unfurling it to cover his wide cheeky smile in a lighthearted demeanour.

Ichigo stared puzzlingly at the ex-shinigami, trying to decipher the implications of his quip, "Eh, Ranma?" Maybe she stepped out for a minute and saw one of those nutjobs hot on her heels. Given how they just seemed to turn up at random Ichigo wouldn't doubt his theory for a minute.

"Sure," They could go with that. It worked out either way.

"Damn it!" Ichigo stood with renewed vigour, "One of those assholes must have harassed her again! Crap! I better haul ass back home and make sure she's alright!" He turned to run off, but hesitated, his gaze lingering on the destruction and his knocked out opponents.

Kisuke sensed the teen's uncertainty, and spoke up to reassure him of the situation, "Don't worry. We'll clean up the mess here. You go on and see to your girlfriend," He couldn't resist the urge to playfully needle Ichigo, drawing a glare from him.

"She's not my girlfriend, old man!" He grouched, galloping away.

"That's what they all say!" Kisuke hollered playfully, eliciting one last annoyed groan from far up in the distance from Ichigo, "Alright, time to get to work." And by get to work all he would have to do is press a single button on his convenient Men-in-Black like memory replacement device and have the students wallow in their own ignorance.

…Just because he was delightfully evil like that.

XxX

(Kurosaki residence)

XxX

 _Game Over_

"Boy, I sure suck at video games," Ranma partly bemoaned as the ending credits for one of Karin's video games flashed across the screen in big red letters.

Then again, it wasn't like she had ever switched on a console before today, so her lack of accumulated video game skill was perfectly understandable. Hell, she had only just discovered the wonders of television three months ago when she and her father integrated themselves into the Tendo household.

As far as Genma was concerned, anything that couldn't be used to strengthen oneself or add to one's repertoire of techniques was a distraction to the art, though Ranma heavily suspected he only preached that because they lived on the road for the vast majority of her childhood.

"Meh. No biggie!" She shrugged off the loss, brimming with confidence at the challenge of mastering each one of Karin's games, "I'm just gettin' started now," The redhead grinned slyly, "I give myself two weeks tops before I'm a pro at this."

 _Bang._

"Woah!" She jumped out of her skin and almost off of the couch at the sound of the brassy closing of the front door, "Flipping heck! Someone's got their panties in a bunch," Her expression would've brightened when Ichigo stomped through the living room door if he didn't look pissed to high hell, "Um. Ichi-chan? How was school?" She asked awkwardly, and Ichigo marched over to her, casting an almost intimating shadow over her slender body, 'Man, what crawled up his butt today? He's looking grouchier than usual.'

"You're not going back to that place!"

"Eh?"

"That crazy town!" Ichigo clarified, "You're not going back there! I won't allow it!"

"Ohhhh-kay," Ranma drawled, smiling sheepishly, "Not that I don't appreciate the prohibition, pal, but what brought this on? If ya don't mind me asking."

Ichigo captured her innocent azure eyed gaze with his hardened hazel one, not even a semblance of amusement glinting within them could be found, "A free for all."

Ranma tilted her head, rationalizing his heated quip with his desperation to keep her out of Nerima, "Lemme guess," A dry smile crept across her lips, "Numbskulls from Nerima showed up at your school looking for me, right?" That would explain why he came back early.

"Yeah," Ichigo confirmed, weaving a calming hand through his thick orange locks, "Can't believe you had to put up with that." He said, taking a seat beside the redhead, propping his elbows on his knees to form a bridge out of his hands.

"That makes two of us," Ranma admitted, curling her knees sideways, resting on her head on Ichigo's shoulder, "Cuz I can't either. They almost drove me nuts with their persistence."

"Did you ever try asking 'em to leave ya alone?" Ichigo asked, though he felt as if he knew the answer to that one without the girl needing to tell him.

"I did, but," Ranma began to clarify, her voice soft, displaying the shame of being unable to control the chaos that surrounded her, "They never listened to me. Not once. How was I meant to go 'bout gettin' 'em off of my back when they're all so darn pigheaded?"

"I see," Ichigo said with a sobered expression on his face, turning to face the redhead, "Well, you won't have to worry about those jerks putting your back up against the wall any longer!" Uncharacteristically, he grasped her thigh to reassure her of his intentions, feeling her flinching against his calloused palm. He caught her unsure gaze with his own, immersing her with his steely eyes of warm resolve, "I'm gonna protect you," He assured in a much softer tone, "That's all there is too it."

"Ichi-chan..." She murmured before a puckish grin slid across her lips, "That makes two of ya," She elaborated at his puzzled look, "Old man Isshin protected me from the old freak's grope attempt after he crashed through the roof."

"What?!" Ichigo looked up at the roof at Ranma's clarification, clicking his teeth in annoyance at the sight of a hole within its surface, "Damn it! Sure as hell hope that doesn't happen all the time. I've already lost my school, I don't wanna lose my house too," Otherwise he _might_ just have to turn murderer, and that would be most problematic.

Samurais didn't murder.

Standing up with a frustrated caress of his neck, Ichigo ventured off to the kitchen, "Wanna drink?"

"Sure thing, loverboy. Since we got the house to ourselves..."

"Damn it!" Ranma snickered.

"Gonna love screwing with ya."

XxX

(Nerima)

XxX

Hours later into the day, and the usual disoriented school actually oriented for once was shutting up shop for the day, letting students out with the hope that the next day and the day after that could be just as relaxing as this one.

Who would've thought the absence of just one student could change so much in a single day? Some students were hesitate to label Ranma the initiator of the mayhem given that all the rowdy students who fanned the conversational flame the martial arts practitioner may or may not have lit first went away with him, and others were more than happy to label Ranma as such for varying reasons. Whether they found the disorder the martial artist generated amusing, or just generally never liked him anyway.

For Nabiki Tendo, she was in between. She knew Ranma was the instigator, and often sat back and enjoyed the shitstorms his very presence stirred up, but for today she casually accepted the respite. After all, she had already scammed a massive sum of bills from her cash cow and scored free okonomiyaki for two and a half months from Ukyo. Really, she was in no position to complain.

As she sauntered past an abandoned warehouse on the route back home Nabiki felt a cold chill run down her spine triggered by the sound of a smooth, polite voice, which was odd in of itself. Normally, Nabiki's stoic demeanour was unbreakable to all. Even the old fool Happosai couldn't rustle her feathers. That said, there was just something _disturbing_ about a voice whom you had never heard before identifying you as if the speaker knew you personally.

"Nabiki Tendo."

Nabiki stopped in her tracks, turning around to find a handsome man clad in a black cloak standing directly behind her as though he had been there the whole time. The fact that he was flexing a sword didn't seem to offset her, "Can I help you?"

Aizen smiled, but the young woman knew from a glance it was fake in every sense of the word. It may have held a distinct semblance of politeness, but it also emitted cold maliciousness that almost threw Nabiki off, "How very clever of you. I must compliment you on your intelligence."

"So the concept of sarcasm doesn't elude you," Nabiki said casually, crossing her arms underneath her bosom, "That's all well and good, but if it's alright with you good sir, I have business I must attend to, so I would rather we keep this discussion brief."

Aizen nodded, impressed by the young woman's audacity. Even in the face of unknown adversity, she still had the sheer _confidence_ in herself to quip back at him in a manner that suggested she was above him. How impressive.

"As you request," The rouge shinigami granted smoothly, "I'll keep my explanation for our meeting blunt as it were," He took a single, purposeful step forward, his next set of succinct words sharp, "Nabiki Tendo, I want you."

Nabiki just stared, her expression unreadable. While most normal women not associated with the mayhem she was associated with would've been disturbed by a stranger declaring their desire for them, she wasn't. If anything, the man was just another Kuno she could potentially control, "Okay," She said, "And may I require what you exactly do you mean specifically when you say you want me?" A saucy smirk curved across her lips, "Because for all little old me could know, you could mean you want my mind or what I like to think you meant... my body."

Aizen's eyes widened indistinctly at the seductive pose Nabiki flexed, and for once he wished he kept his glasses to masquerade his surprise, "Yes," He said, keeping his composure, "As a matter of speaking, I want you and all that it entails for my army."

"Army, eh?" Nabiki repeated, flexing a sly smirk at Aizen's admittance.

"Correct."

"May I ask why is it you're building an army for, good sir?" Nabiki grinned mockingly.

"You can indeed," Aizen permitted, "It's really quite simple, for I only wish to insert myself in God's throne." Which was the fancy way of saying he wanted to conquer the world.

"Oh!~ Like a stereotypical comic book villain!~" Nabiki cheerfully mocked, holding up an index finger.

"Yes, I suppose one could look at it that way," Aizen resisted the urge to chuckle.

"But!" Nabiki's happy grin hardened into a smirk, "Have ya really got the resources and the power to even usurp Nerima let alone the world, sir?"

"Oh, I can assure you, my own physical power and military power are quite vast my dear," Aizen said, merely cocking his head to the side to gaze upon the abandoned warehouse, "Do you happen to see an establishment over there?"

"Why, yes! Yes, I can!" Nabiki answered, "Unless I'm going blind, which in case I'll need to get my eyes checked, I believe that's an abandoned warehouse."

"Really?" In a flash, Aizen's Zanpakuto was unsheathed, slicing at the harmless air, and the warehouse and the surrounding fence blocking entrance were no more; obliterated by the incredible force generated by Aizen's Zanpakuto, "You'll have to bear with me," He sheathed his Zanpakuto coolly, "But I'm afraid I see no such warehouse. Perhaps it was a mistake discarding my glasses so soon."

"..."

"Whoa," Nabiki was stunned. She had seen her fair demonstrations of power by the crazy super-powered martial artists surrounding her on a daily basis, but even their displays _paled_ in comparison to this one, completely blowing a building asunder just by waving a sword at it as if it was a wand. Even the combined power of her father, her Uncle, the old fool Happosai, her sister and Ranma wouldn't even match the power in this man's pinkie finger, "Okay. I trust ya... hm."

"Ah. How uncivil of me," Aizen said, guessing what Nabiki was hinting at, "My name is Sosuke Aizen."

"Pleased to meet your acquaintance," Nabiki smirked saucily, framing her cheek and chin with her index finger and thumb, "Now, what's in it for me if I join ya?"

"Anything your heart so desires."

"Anything?"

"Including money," When Nabiki's eyes widened, Aizen knew he had her. He closed the remaining distance between them, removing a sheet of paper from his white-coloured kimono underneath his black cloak, "I believe that should be enough incentive for you to join my cause, but just in case I want you to consider the offer thoroughly, and if you do indeed decide you want to pledge your eternal allegiance to me find your way to this location. I'll have a pair of subordinates of mine waiting to bring you to mine..." He smiled apologetically, "My apologies, _our_ domain."

Now that was reassuring, "Why not leave now?" Nabiki asked, eager to get her money.

"I see you're eager to coalesce with my army. That's reassuring," Aizen smiled, "However, I'm afraid such a life-altering decision shouldn't be made so impulsively. Once you enter there's no turning back. Take this time to contemplate your resolve of abandoning your family to redefine the world by my side, for every king needs an adequate queen."

"I see," Nabiki said in understanding, her expression an unreadable mask of stoicism. When Aizen requested her palm she gave it to him with grace, light tingles flowing through her as Aizen's fingers intertwined with hers, flipping her palm over and lying the sheet of paper on it. Gently turning it back over, Aizen brought Nabiki's hand to his mouth, propping a kiss on it.

"I look forward to your decision," Aizen said, letting go of Nabiki's hand, much to her chagrin. He turned, sauntering forward, dematerializing after ending his speech, "Nabiki Tendo..."

A cold wind blew the bangs and the edges of the stilled Nabiki's hair and clothes gently to the side.

"Seems like it's already been taken out of my hands."

* * *

 **NabikixAizen indeed, mwhahahahaha**


	5. Closing of a Chapter

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Ranma 1/2**

* * *

After replacing the actual reason for the eradication of Karakura High School with an "unknown earthquake" to the many minds of the students and faculty of the former institution, Kisuke and his loyal helpers gathered the Nerima residents still obsessed with Ranma and returned to their little hideout: a diminutive hut crammed in between two buildings masqueraded as a candy shop.

The lovely view of the cemetery they had was really something else.

Why the cemetery? Because nothing else said "Hi, we're sane" better than a magnificent backdrop of the resting place for the dead.

"Gah."

Kisuke casually sipped on his tea just as he was joined by the three teens picked up from the rubble of the formerly known Karakura High School. Happosai was still fast asleep, "Ah. Glad to see you could join me for a cup of tea," A little small talk never hurt anyone.

Kuno, Ukyo, and Mousse stopped caressing their thumping heads to glance at the bucket-shaped hat clad man before them sitting casually on a recliner with one leg crossed over the other, sipping on a cup of tea.

"Okay," Ukyo said, being the first one to ask the obvious question bluntly, "Who are you?"

"I'm hurt," Kisuke faked classical anime tears, "You don't even remember your good old Uncle Kisuke."

"Ah-uh…" Ukyo donned on sarcastically.

Mousse caught a blur of a person over in the crack of a slightly open door, and instead of adjusting his glasses properly to ascertain who the individual was, just blindly believed the person was his beloved, "Shampoo!~" He chirped, exploding to his feet and running off to the door, "Oh Shampoo!"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Kisuke said, grinning mischievously when Mousse was hurled back by an incredible force generated by one of the individuals he was running to, flying over the little old man's head, "I tried to warn you." No he didn't.

"She's not your Shampoo, idiot!" A young red-haired boy shouted harshly and Ukyo's eyes dilated at the power of this kid.

"What the hell-?" She gasped.

The boy didn't even look in his teens let alone out of them with his short, scrawny structure yet he could send Mousse – a teenager twice his size and in his teens no less – flying back nigh effortlessly. Besides his shoulder-length red hair the young boy sported a short-sleeved white t shirt with a strange logo written in Japanese kanji in the middle of the shirt, a pair of three-quarter blue shorts reaching past his knees, and sandals on his feet.

"I see thee hast such a vast wealth of untapped potential just waiting to be explored," Kuno said, thinking irrationally, much to Kisuke's amusement and the red-haired boy's boredom as he stood, "Very well, whelp. I, Tatewaki Kuno, shalt do thee the honour of allowing thee to become my prestigious student."

"What the hell are you talking about?" The red-haired boy asked, placing his hands on his hips.

"Truly, it is an honour."

Are we speaking in the same language, moron?"

"Now!" Kuno said, ignoring the boy's distaste as he searched his person for his trusty sword, "Ghastly! I seem to hast been unarmed of my sword!" He scrutinized Kisuke's mischievous expression, "I suppose thee had a hand in the removal of my weapon. A wise choice on thy part."

"Oh, what makes you think I was the one who removed your weapon?" Kisuke teased, unfurling his fan to cover his smile, "After all, I'm only a mere humble shopkeeper."

Kuno smirked, "I believe thee answered thy own question."

A sigh escaped the lips of the red-haired boy, "Hey, boss. Tell me again why we brought these idiots here again? I say we just waste 'em," He shrugged, "Would save us a heck of a lot of hassle if you ask me."

Ukyo bristled, not liking the feeling of being condescended to by a little kid not even in high school, "Now listen here ya little brat-!" A tremendous pain exploded into her head, causing her to flinch, "Ow! What'd ya…? How'd ya-?" She fumbled whilst holding her head, looking up at the scowling red-haired boy now before her, 'Damn it! How is he so fast?'

"Idiot!" He scoffed.

"Such wizardry thee possess!" Kuno rationalized nonsensically, eliciting a grimace from the red-haired youngster, "Now, I, Tatewaki Kuno, must train thee to purge the vile hold sorcery hast over thee to avoid another dreaded Saotome or barbarian Kurosaki emerging to kidnap the pigtailed goddess!"

With an impressive leap, the red-haired boy rose to Kuno's height, hooking his arm behind his neck, dragging his upper body down in a hunched over position. Burying three swift knees into the delusional teen's torso, the redhead jumped, carrying Kuno's head upward before slamming it down on the ground in a trademark DDT, cracking the flooring.

"Just shut up, will ya?" He demanded impatiently, kicking Kuno's head.

"Jinta-kun," The girl Mousse had mistakenly taken for Shampoo spoke up in a tiny, quiet voice.

Over by the door the Nerima residents found a cutesy wootsy twin pigtailed small girl with two noticeable perpetual blushes on both of her cheeks, big doe docile blue eyes, and a purple tint to her black hair, giving it a glossy look. Though she wore the same shirt and sandals as the now identified Jinta, she distinguished her attire from his with a pink dotted skirt.

"You shouldn't be mean to our guests," She insisted shyly.

"Shut up, Ururu," Jinta grimaced.

"Gee. Ain't ya one with the ladies," Ukyo said satirically, earning herself a swift backhand across her face from Jinta, "Hey, you jackass!"

"Idiot."

"Um," Mousse hesitated to speak for the first time since being blasted away from who he thought was Shampoo by the red-haired boy, feeling oppressed by his domineering personality and power, "I don't mean to sound rude, sir, but since my Shampoo's not here would it be okay if I leave to locate her."

"No," Jinta said bluntly, crossing his arms.

"What!?" Ukyo raged, "You can't keep us here!" Her angered expression dried up, "You do realize that would consider us hostages, right?"

"Yeah. So?" Jinta shrugged.

"So you can't keep here against our wills without breaking the law, jackass!"

"I can't," Jinta said, not even trying to deny it as he tossed a thumb over his shoulder at his boss, "But he can."

"Eh?" Were the collective stupefied utterances of the Nerima residents.

They glanced at Kisuke to find him sporting his typical roguish grin behind his trademark fan, this time accompanied by a wave of his hand, "Howdy," He greeted as if this was the first they acknowledged him, "I'm Kisuke Urahara and I'll be your wholesome guide into sanity. Buckle up because I'm predicting a bumpy ride."

Mousse and Kuno nodded, though had contrasting expressions. The former's consisted of uncertainty and the latter's comprised of feigned understanding to masquerade the fact he couldn't comprehend the implications of Kisuke's playful mockery of them.

"Hey!" Of course the ever spunky Ukyo didn't take to getting insulted well, "I ain't crazy, you jackass!"

"You are if you're stupid enough to think you're on par with me," Jinta taunted, eliciting a growl from the tomboy.

"Damn you!"

"Now, now," Kisuke said, his playful demeanour beginning to fade out, "I think that's quite enough of the pleasantries," He stood, clasping his cane beside him as he moved to tower over the three youngsters, adjusting his hat to prop a shadow over his eyes, "You three caused quite the commotion today, you know that?"

"What do you mean sir?" Mousse asked, glancing up at Kisuke with uncertainty, his sudden transition from gleeful goofball to strict hardass unnerving him greatly.

A cryptic smirk curved across the visage of Kisuke, "How does the destruction of Karakura High School sound to any of you?"

Funnily enough, it sounded horrifying to at least two of them, and it was even more surprising that one of those were Ukyo considering she seemed all for the eradication of Ichigo's school if it meant taking the orange-headed teenager down with it to reclaim Ranma from him.

She would never have realized how metaphorically she meant that if the school hadn't collapsed from the pressure of such a magnified brawl between them all.

"Damn it!" She bared her clenched teeth and smacked her fist against the floor, "I didn't mean for that to happen literally!"

"I see," Kuno said, irrationalizing Karakura High School's destruction, "-The institution couldn't maintain my superior skill and power. Such is the burden of a man of my strength, hesitate to unleash his full power in fear of the devastation he could potentially wrought."

"Really, sugar?" Ukyo deadpanned.

Jinta snorted, sliding his arms from his chest and to his hips, "You could barely slice through a paper bag let alone a building, jerk."

"You can't keep doing this," Kisuke interjected, his cold voice scarce of the playful amusement startled the three before him, "Spreading destruction thoughtlessly. Eventually, the repercussions will catch up to each of you and you'll be forced to atone for your past sins."

The insinuation of Kisuke's subtle warning dried up Ukyo's throat who gulped in an attempt to moisturize it, "And what would such consequences be? If you don't mind me asking."

"Ah," Happosai stirred to life, bringing the attention partly to his awakening form.

Dark shadows veiled Kisuke's shit-eating grin, "You're about to find out."

"What?" Happosai blinked, recognizing another familiar tone. Glancing up, he smiled happily at the sight of Kisuke, blissfully unaware to the foreboding aura clouding over him, "Hi ya fella. Long-time no see."

"Eh?" Jinta said, voicing the Nerima's residents' confusion as well, "You know this old shrimp, boss?"

"Know him?" Happosai chirped, deciding to ignore the annoying needle at his height and age to clarify, "Why, me and Kisuke go way back, ain't that right fella? You, me and Isshin were quite the pals back then. Remember?"

"Please don't refer to us as friends," Kisuke commanded far more than requested, thudding the floor once with his cane, "We're far from the sort."

For the next few moments the term "Bringing down the house" could've been redefined by the Nerima's residents. Eyes widened in horror, knees shaking wildly, sweat bullets raining down their faces, and air-circulation being cut off as though someone was choking them all, Kuno, Ukyo, Mousse, and Happosai were floored, their entire perspectives quaking madly as if an earthquake was happening.

'What the… hell?' Ukyo struggled. Even her hands were immobile, 'It feels like…'

'…Someone's choking me!' Mousse frantically thought as if finishing for Ukyo, feeling his life; the desires and regrets it entailed flash before his short-sighted vision, 'Oh Shampoo. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to save you.'

'Good gads! This is…' Even Kuno was out of ideas to irrationalize the terrifying sensation of being crushed by an unknown force into complete oppression.

When the pressure let up, they felt as if they had won the lottery.

"And that concludes the trip into sanity!~" Kisuke beamed as the Nerima youngsters pushed themselves up to their knees, breathing heavily from the exertion of just trying to maintain consciousness through the duration of the DBZ-esque gravity-like force pinning them to the ground.

Kisuke's playful quip made them shiver, and they looked at him with a newfound fright, now realizing they were in the presence of a man who could not only kill them hundred times over, but do so without even lifting a finger.

Insane.

"What… are you?" Ukyo asked, very slowly and carefully.

Kisuke's grin warmed at her epiphany, "I told you already, remember?" Ukyo blinked, hesitation in her eyes, "I'm a simple humble shopkeeper trying to make ends meet."

A soft docile sigh at complete odds with Ukyo's usual headstrong mentality escaped her lips, "That's not what I meant, but whatever, I'll take it."

With an approving nod, Kisuke turned his attention to Happosai, smirking sassily at his exhausted expression, "Well, old timer! I hope you've learned a valuable lesson about lying," He was fed more ammunition By Happosai's scowl, "Contrary to popular belief, I like to think old dogs can learn new tricks," No he didn't.

"You little ingrate!" The little elder stood, impudently extending an index finger at Kisuke, "You're just like that other ungrateful whelp, Isshin! Why?" He moaned, covering his eyes, "I'm just a little old man!"

"Seriously?" Jinta deadpanned, absorbing Happosai's wrathful look with disinterest.

"I'll show ya, ya little hoodlum!" He declared and jumped, removing a bomb from his arsenal, eliciting cringes from the Nerima youngsters ahead of schedule. From their perspective, Kisuke vanished in a swift blur, and the bomb never exploded.

Only heavy splashes of liquid quickly followed by a weighty thud of an eviscerated body was heard.

"Now, now. I think it's about time someone admitted you in a retirement home, old man…" Kisuke announced dispassionately, and the cold insinuation was enough to make Ukyo, Kuno, and Mousse freeze and sweat in terror before looking down at Happosai, or to be more precise what remained of the elder.

"…"

"…"

"…"

Their eyes were widened and their were mouths flopped open yet not a single word escaped at what they saw – the two halves of Happosai sprawled out with a trail of blood showing they had been recently disconnected from one another.

"You… killed him…" Ukyo whispered in disbelief, "You actually killed the old man..."

"Complete evisceration…" Kuno mumbled.

"It isn't over," Kisuke simply said, repressing his normal cheerful disposition.

The youngsters stiffened visibly, "There's more?" Mousse was the one to ask in a timid whisper, and Kisuke nodded gravely, confirming his fears.

The sounds of a violent tornado reverberated throughout the vicinity, and a malevolent red glow eclipsed the area.

"What's that?" Ukyo asked, taking over as spokeswoman for Mousse for her fellow citizens.

"Follow me and find out," Kisuke suggested, ambling over to the door with a gesture of his head. They stiffened again, exchanging wary glances before nodding and doing as Kisuke recommended, drawing a roll of the eyes from the redhead who ushered them out of the living room and toward the front door of the hut.

A tall broad-shouldered muscular dark-skinned man with black hair styled in neat cornrows and a thick moustache politely slid open the door, letting in the full luminescence of the overbearing red glow in full, forcing the Nerima residents to cover their eyes with their arms.

"Right this way," He said with a proper bow to Kisuke, one arm folded over his torso. The bespectacled man was dressed in a short-sleeved white t shirt underneath a long blue apron with a kanji-styled logo square which was further patterned in a diamond. The last of his gear were a pair of dark beige coloured slacks and sandals on his feet.

"Why, thank you, Tessai, my good man!" Kisuke sang

Tessai nodded appreciatively in response to his boss' praise and saw him off, eyeing the youngsters with a stern gaze as they took his place, "Please be sure to assimilate the performance diligently, young ones," One side of Tessai's lenses fogged over forebodingly, "You wouldn't want to run the risk of repeating the heinous mistakes of the unfortunate elder and thus suffer similar repercussions."

The children from down the line shivered in remembrance of the quick killing of Happosai, merely choosing to nod their heads in ghostly understanding. Starting from Ukyo, they stepped out of the proverbial frying pan and into the fire, leaving Jinta sauntering past Tessai with his arms folded behind his head.

"And the same applies to you too, young master."

"Aw man!" Jinta grouched, "Why am I getting lectured? Those numbskulls are the ones in trouble, not me."

"Do as you're told," Tessai commanded, looking down at the boy sharply, "Unless you wish for me to increase the numbers of chores you do a day, no?" Jinta winced, having got the message loud and clear.

"This sucks!"

…That doesn't mean he was happy about it though.

XxX

"What? The? Hell?"

"What? In? The? World?"

"Is that…?"

Ukyo started, Kuno continued, and Mousse ended, horrifying shock painted on their faces at what they bore witnessed to.

A pair of gigantic skyscraper-sized hellish doors of haunted depiction floated in front of their slack-jawed postures, decorated with two massive skeletons on each door, each having one arm which were conjoined in the centre to hold three chained ropes keeping them sealed.

"What is that, the gates of hell?!" Ukyo asked frantically, catching sight of the recently slayed Happosai held up by an unknown force in front of the gates, though his body there wasn't severed in half like his body inside was.

"Hey, what do you know? That's a spot-on assumption! Give the little lady a prize!" Kisuke mocked cheerfully.

"It's a pretty safe assumption!" Ukyo snapped defensively, and the doors were pried open, giving entrance to a crimson red vortex that generated a powerful wind, "What now?" She asked as said wind knocked their clothes about.

"He's being permitted into his new home," Kisuke explained unemotionally, one hand situated upon his head to keep his trademark bucket-shaped hat from flying off.

The teenagers winced visibly when a giant silver-spear impeded the nigh immortal elder right in the family jewels, and without ado, the remnants of Happosai's spiritual essence dematerialized, crumbled away like dust to signify his acceptance into the fiery pits of hell.

The doors slammed shut with visible tremors, then faded out as though they were never there to begin with.

"Whoa…" Ukyo breathed out, dropping to her knees.

"Actually, when I said before that your trip into sanity was over, I take that back," Kisuke began to correct himself, "This should wrap up your trip," He adjusted his hands on his cane. "Let's hope each of you have taken something out of this experience, because I'm sure you wouldn't want to go out the same way he did," He gave them a pointed glance and they avoided his gaze.

"Wait!" Mousse took the chance to look back at Kisuke, a new hope clearing up his lenses, "You mean you're not going to kill us, sir?"

"Of course not!" Kisuke beamed, "Do I look like a monster to you?"

"Well, no, not right now, but…" Mousse blundered.

"I'm disappointed!" Kisuke mock-pouted, "I couldn't kill any of you."

"Why?" Ukyo asked, lifting up her hands from the ground to lay them on her knees, "With all due respect, you don't know us. Pretty sure if you wanted to you could kill us just as easily as you wasted the old pervert and everybody else would be none the wiser."

"Well that's true," Kisuke started, warming his smile as he bent down slowly to Ukyo's level to lay a hand on her head, "But unlike the old man you three are only teenagers," And as teenagers they were naturally naïve and bullheaded enough to believe they could do anything without being caught, "Sure, you've made a few blunders, but that's the beauty of growing up, realizing your mistakes to avoid repeating them in the future, thus maturing as a result."

Ukyo glanced down shyly from the tender kind touch of Kisuke, squirming her knees together, "I see."

"Thank you," Mousse said from the bottom of his heart.

"Yes," Kuno agreed with his fellow citizens, "Even I, Tatewaki Kuno, must thank thee for thy leniency of allowing I to not only see the error of my ways, but live to learn and grow from them as a result. Thy act of mercy won't be regretted I shalt see to that."

"No problem," Kisuke said and stood, advising them lightly, "Just be sure to keep yourselves out of trouble now on, okay? Sever whatever ties or connection you all had with Shampoo and Ranma. Neither of them are worth the risk of becoming suitable to enter hell by committing an inappropriate number of irredeemable sins, I assure you."

"Eh?" Mousse blinked, not so much at the disallowance that made it so he would never see his beloved Shampoo again, but more so at what it took to enter hell itself, "What do you mean, sir? I thought all it took to be eligible to enter hell was to commit one sin." Kuno and Ukyo nodded in agreement with him.

"Not really," Kisuke shrugged, "With my Zanpakuto," He lifted up his cane for emphasis, "I can purify a soul of his or her sins, but purification has a limit. For instance, if the soul had committed a substantial amount of sins or a sin so heinous in nature than regardless of purification they'll spend an eternity in hell as a consequence."

"I see," Ukyo said and stood, feeling her heart shatter at the scenes as she forcefully assured Kisuke of her behaviour, "Then I guess I'll be staying out of… trouble!" She scrunched up her face, 'Damn it, Ranchan! Why didn't ya just choose me?'

"It's going to be okay, you know?" Kisuke comforted, "You'll move on and form new connections with others who'll accept you, I'm sure."

Her face eased up, though the passive sorrow was clear in her eyes, "I'm sure," Dryly said, Ukyo trudged away, tossing a hand over her shoulder, "Thanks anyway, old man. See ya."

"Oh Shampoo," Mousse moaned, slumping away from the store with a cloudy proverbial rain cloud over his head, "I'm so sorry I couldn't save you."

Kisuke sighed, 'Guess I shouldn't have expected them to change right off the bat,' He turned to see Kuno surveying his surroundings, "And what can I help you with? Perhaps an item in my store caught your interest?" He smiled widely, covering it with his fan, "I'll have you know the merchandise I sell are some of the highest quality."

Kuno fixed an stoical gaze on the shopkeeper, "Yes. Wouldst my Evil sister be here?"

"Ah! You mean the pretty lady in the gymnastic leotard if I'm not mistaken."

"Yes, I was led to believe she followed us here to retrieve her own infatuation."

"She redeemed herself," Which was code for 'she switched her obsession from Ranma to Uryu,' and Kisuke figured the anti-social lone-wolf could use the company, "So I sent her on her way."

"I see," Kuno said simply, "Very well, I shalt take my leave!" He turned, sauntering the way Ukyo and Mousse had.

"Chow!" As he watched the last one of the redefined obstinate youngsters take off, a content feeling washed over Kisuke.

He really felt like he had done well today.

"Look at you, being a responsible teacher," A deep, masculine voice teased and a black cat with distinctive golden eyes holding mischief landed on his shoulder.

"I was just helping out a friend," Kisuke said humbly, turning an affectionate gaze in the wake of the youngsters. They still had ways to go, but if their last conversation was anything to go by, they were on the right path.

"Isshin?"

"Yep!" Kisuke beamed, "Ichigo's new little girlfriend left behind quite the loose ends in her old neighbourhood and I figured I could lend her a hand as a favour to Ichigo for the exertion he put in trying to prevent the Hogyoku from falling into Aizen's clasp."

He _failed_ obviously, and now they would have to prepare for the inevitable battle to come with a Hogyoku-powered Aizen, but that wasn't the point. Ichigo stuck his neck out for Kisuke, even if he didn't know…

Kisuke, being the bright dumbass that he was, hid the overpowered mountain-erasing deus-ex-machina device in Rukia's artificial body, aka a gigai, modified specifically so it couldn't be traced by normal conventional methods.

The plan was simple. Rukia's artificial body would destroy the Hogyoku and any remnants of her spiritual pressure, leaving her as a powerless human, and she would be none the wiser.

She would just assume the remnants of her power were absorbed into Ichigo since she used a vast amount of it to awaken his own so he could save them from a hollow.

The scheme was flawless, and he would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that meddling Aizen pulling strings to get Rukia's overdue return from the human world looked into.

She got captured by her older brother and childhood friend, the former of which shattered Ichigo's soul chain, and that left Ichigo going through a dangerous procedure to regain his powers followed by an unlikely rescue mission with a hastily assembled motley crew of unexperienced teenagers infiltrating a military base to save Rukia.

So, yeahhhh. Kisuke himself was prone to the occasional blunders here and there he could relate to them on that.

" _Ooh!_ My little strawberry apprentice is all grown up, huh?" The cat's eyes gleamed even brighter, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you would've known already," Kisuke smirked.

"Idiot," The cat said, though no malice was in its voice as it hopped from Kisuke's shoulder to the ground, "Well I'll be off then."

"I take it you're off to meet Ichigo's little girlfriend, huh?"

"Of course!" As in the cat was going to tease Ichigo about her endlessly, "Also, if she shows an inclination toward fighting I might consider training her," The cat's eyes darkened, "We'll going to need all the assistance we can get with that bastard Aizen on the horizon."

"True," Kisuke nodded in agreement, "Alright then! Have fun, Yoruichi. Isshin said his new 'third daughter' is quite the sassy one so you two should have a very high common ground to stand on from the off."

" _Ohh_. Sounds like I'm gonna like this one."

Ichigo could sure pick them well.

City of Insanity

 **C**

 **H**

 **A**

 **P**

 **T**

 **E**

 **R**

 **FIVE**

Closing of a Chapter

After an hour of lounging around with Ranma watching TV, the tangerine-headed teen decided then was as good a time as any to make one last journey into insanity to grab the redhead's stuff, which left him with quite the dilemma on his hands.

He could waste time dawdling around so he could cool off from Ranma's seduction or he could rush in, accomplish his endeavour, and rush out in the shortest time possible so he would be less likely to run into a psycho.

After today's destruction of his school, he'd had his fair share of lunatics for one life time. But his private parts needed a rest from Ranma's poses and suggestive words. Since she knew he was looking she made extra sure to prop her knees up on the couch during their watch together, right by him with his shirt lifted up to her hips, leaving all of her luscious, creamy legs on show.

Damn.

Double damn.

Damn it!

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she only wore his shirts, at least at night.

What harm could it really do?

No, wait. What was he thinking? _Of course she needed her own clothes!_

He wasn't a pervert-!

 _Bam._

'Ow, crap!' Ichigo groaned, caressing his stinging face beet red from the collision with a door, an audible thump echoing throughout the building, 'Damn it. I'm an idiot.'

"Coming!~" A melodic voice sang pleasantly. With a scowl, Ichigo surveyed his surroundings, noticing the temple doors he had instinctively paced through.

'Greattttttt. My inner monologue carried me through the whole trip,' He rationalized acerbically, propping his hands on his hips, further sarcasm oozing from his dry, tepid tone, 'Boredom defeated.'

The doorknob turned before the door was cracked open, revealing a beautiful young woman with a motherly smile on her face, "Oh, Ryoga-kun!" She chirped, blinking at the tall teen that definitely wasn't Ryoga. The orange hair was a dead giveaway, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir," She bowed, "I thought you were someone else."

"It's okay," Ichigo insisted with a wave of his hand, pleased this woman was rational like Ranma had told him, "You must be Kasumi, right?"

Kasumi stood upright, a blank look of incomprehension on her face at a stranger identifying her without being properly introduced, "Yes that is correct?" She smiled, "May I ask how you know my name sir?"

"Ranma told me."

"Oh!" Cheerful relief shone on the maiden's countenance, which made Ichigo feel a tad guilty for what he had come for, "You found him? Father and Uncle Saotome will be so pleased."

"Well, yeah," Ichigo hesitated, removing one of his hands out of his pocket to caress the side of his neck awkwardly, "But she's living with me now."

"Oh I see," In an instant, the bright light flickered from her face as she rationalized the implications of Ichigo referring to her once future brother-in-law by the female pronoun, "You are aware of her…?"

"The curse?" Ichigo interjected bluntly, surprising Kasumi who widened her eyes to convey her shock, "I know. Ranma's fine with being girl, though," He shrugged, "So I'm fine referring to her as such."

"I see," Kasumi said, her typical polite smile reforming over her face, "I apologize if you feel I had insulted your intelligence, but you see, quite a few young gentlemen and ladies around here still... remain in the dark in regards to Ranma's curse, believing Ranma-kun and Ranma-chan to be two people."

"It's okay," Ichigo smiled, appreciating the young maiden's politeness. It was as Ranma's said, Kasumi was the mother of the house, much like Yuzu was of the Kurosaki household, "I encountered the guys," He frowned, lowering his sharp gaze from Kasumi's view, "I know all about their ignorance."

"Oh my," Kasumi delicately held a hand to her mouth, her own frown a lot less sharp than Ichigo's and docile by comparison, "What an annoying way to spend one's afternoon."

"Tell me about it," Ichigo agreed, a bitter smile curving across his lips, "Damn idiots destroyed my school."

"Oh my!" Kasumi gasped with her trademark slogan with far more realization on her face this time around, "So the reported destruction of Karakura High School was yours, sir?"

The news. Figures the eradication of his school would be high up on the list of hot topics to broadcast, "Yeah," He clarified grouchily, eliciting a hum of understanding from Kasumi.

"I suppose it does make more sense that a few of Ranma-chan's… suitors would initiate the landslide of a school as opposed to the cryptic earthquake they said brought down the institution but wasn't sure what triggered it or the exact time it was triggered," And the fact that no one was reported dead was a dead giveaway, "Oh dear, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I'm afraid Ranma's suitors tend to be rather…"She smiled sheepishly, "-Tenacious when they feel threatened by a new contender for her hand."

"Hey, don't worry about it," Ichigo waved away the loss, grateful for Kasumi's usage of the female pronoun when referring to Ranma again. At least not everyone here thought about themselves, "I'm over it now anyway."

"I suppose that's all you can do," Kasumi nodded, and the conversation petered out into awkward silence.

Even the wind was now audible.

"Uh, madam."

"Oh my!" Kasumi realized with a gentle clap of her hands, earning herself a bizarre look from Ichigo, "How rude of me. I suppose you're here for Ranma-chan's clothes if she is living with you now, right?"

"If you don't mind," Ichigo insisted with a small, shaky puckish grin that looked really out of place on his usually scowling countenance. When she stepped back to let him in, he realized he had forgotten to give her his name having only taken confirmation of hers, "Name's Ichigo, Ichigo Kurosaki by the way."

"Why, what a nice name you have, Ichigo-kun."

Ichigo went right back to lightly brushing the side of his neck, taking his very first step into the residence Ranma had settled into for all of three months. His first observation was how remarkably spotless the hallway next to the stairs was, "Well, thanks I guess, but it's really not that nice."

"Well, I beg to differ!" Kasumi insisted in a cheerful-disposition.

"Sticking to your guns, huh?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"To each his or her own then."

"What's going on over there?" A male's calm voice interjected, and Ichigo glanced past Kasumi to find two males running into view from just past the stairs, "Was it not the lad, Kasumi?"

Kasumi gently held her arms above her waist, politely warning her father, "By 'lad,' I hope you're referring to Ryoga-kun, father."

Soun cringed, trying to hide behind the robust bespectacled man who was busy attempting to use him as a shield from Kasumi's passive aggression. Needless to say, the two ended up in a tangled mess, their arms interlocked around each other's, "But of course!" Soun chirped, "Who else could I be looking for?" Ranma.

Eyes narrowed, Ichigo regarded the two men underneath Kasumi's thumb with bizarre skepticism, 'Seriously?'

Kasumi sighed softly, though forced a smile on her face when she twirled back to their guest, "Ichigo-kun, I would like you to meet my father, Soun Tendo."

Flexing a scowl reflexively, Ichigo unintentionally frightened the patriarch, "Hey. Name's Ichigo Kurosaki."

Soun did his best to suppress a wince at the tall young man's curt greeting spoken in such a gruff voice. How old was he? He had to be twenty two in Soun's opinion. No way could a teenager have such a sharp gaze in his eyes, "Y-Yes, I'm honoured to meet you lad."

Kasumi gestured seamlessly to the robust figure in despite of her father's shaky nerves getting the better of him in his introduction to Ichigo, "And this is Genma Saotome. Ranma-chan's father."

At the mention of his AWOL son, Genma's fear of Kasumi's passive aggression took an immediate backburner, "M'boy!" He said with urgency, stepping forward. At Ichigo's lazy look, he coughed, crossing his arms over his chest with an air of composure, "So I take it m'boy's been acquiring your skills and techniques to append to his own repertoire. Correct?"

That wasn't a total lie given Ranma's desire for powers similar to his, and while Ichigo didn't have any intention of ever putting her through the near death process of transforming her into a shinigami, he could confirm her father's suspicions anyway, just for his own lazy convenience, "Sure."

While Soun sighed in relief, Genma laughed heartily, "Haha! Atta boy, just like your old man's raised ya!"

"What do you mean?" Ichigo asked, slouching against the wall.

Soun coughed lightly into his balled hand to acquire Ichigo's attention, "Well you see, lad. We have a slogan here in the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts, which goes as followed, anything can be used as a form of Martial Arts."

Genma nodded his head rapidly, continuing on in his friend's stead, "Right! The Anything Goes Style is a mixture of all Martial Arts across the globe!" He preached passionately, pumping his fist in the air, "Karate! Kung Fu! Boxing! Wrestling and even sumo wrestling! Ahh!" He roared, flexing his arms out wide, "You name it we've acquired it!"

Ichigo just stared at Genma's dramatics with a look of dumbfounded confusion written all over his countenance, 'Gee. Is he like my long-lost uncle or something?' Well, at least his over-the-top explanation explained Ranma's desire to acquire shinigami powers, "I see."

Soun sighed in admiration of Genma's speech as though his friend had won the Nobel Prize award, "Yes, the lad has quite the expectation to live up to."

"Humph!" Genma crossed his arms, "No shoes are too big for my boy to fill!"

"Yes, I would have to agree with Saotome," Soun nodded, "The lad has all the strength to carry our expectations on his shoulders," He smiled cheerily, "Why, he wouldn't be our chosen heir if he couldn't," Genma nodded, but Ichigo didn't reply, only allowing the conversation to descend into awkward territory with a bland look of disinterest on his face.

Coughing nervously, Soun searched their surroundings for the devil himself, "By the way, lad, why isn't Ranma-kun with you?" He asked, thinking irrationally to avoid the likely possibility for Ranma's absence, "Ah. Perhaps the lad hasn't finished his training course with you and you've come to collect some spare clothes for him?"

Ichigo wasn't one to mince his words or beat around the bush, thus bluntly corrected the patriarch with a straight-face scarce of amusement, "Try all of 'em."

"…"

"…"

Soun and Genma just stared, scrambling their minds for another logical explanation besides the obvious one to justify Ichigo's objective. Anything would've been better than that in their opinion. It had been a dream of theirs even before their children were born to see their undivided schools cohered with the marriage of their children.

"Y-Yes," Soun stuttered, "I take it the lad's training course is quite lengthy, then?" Ichigo's straight faced expression heightened into his trademark scowl, which elicited a wince from Soun.

"Actually, Father," Kasumi smiled, taking up the proverbial mantle of confirming Soun's and Genma's fear for Ichigo, her voice gentle as always, "Ranma-chan's moved out. Ichigo-kun's here to gather her belongings for her."

"What!?" Soun recoiled with a loud, theatrical gasp, and at that moment his face could have epitomized dumbfounded horror.

Genma, however, was a little more reserved in his reaction to Kasumi's statement. With widened eyes of bewildered terror, he drank up the implications of Kasumi's usage of the female pronoun for his _boy,_ his eyes slowly narrowing into a look of angered disgust at Ichigo, though the young man's defiant expression never wavered.

"Say it isn't also so, lad!" Soun beseeched with his hands clasped together shakily.

"It is so," Ichigo deadpanned, not even attempting to sugar-coat the stone-cold hard truth for Soun.

For a second, Soun's pleading expression froze up, his eyes extended wide open. Then tears built up in the corners of them, followed by his fists being hurled skyward, "Oh! How could the gods be so cruel?!" Ichigo's narrowed, expressionless hazel eyes widened vacantly at the déjà vu Soun's theatrics were giving him as the patriarch dropped to his knees in despair.

'On second thought, I take it back,' Ichigo mused, grimacing awkwardly at Soun's bawling state, 'This is my dad's long-lost brother.'

Sensing the escalating tension by the stairwell and doorway, Kasumi decided to smartly remove herself, "Well, I had better gather Ranma's belongings for you dear. Be right back." Genma scowled at Kasumi's declared errand whilst she started moving up the steps.

Ichigo gave the matriarch of the household a nod of his head in appreciation, "Thanks, madam."

"Be quiet you!" Genma demanded.

"Well that was uncalled for," Ichigo said, his scowl drying up.

"Humph!" Genma folded his arms over his chest, "If you think either Tendo or I will just let you have your way with our lifework then you've got another thing coming _boy._ "

"Nice to see you're being so respectful about it," Ichigo remarked sardonically, 'This is playing out exactly as Ranma said it would,' No wonder she didn't object to his father's recommendation of him going to correct her clothes. She must not like conflicts, but was too prideful to ever hold her hand up to a mistake, hence the argument Ichigo and his right hand man found her and Akane in the day he met her.

"Come on, Tendo!" Genma urged, trying to rally his friend, balling his hands, "Are we just gonna let some foolish upstart boy sabotage our dream?"

"Saotome makes a valid point, lad," Soun said, his sobered voice suddenly scarce of the tearful despair that was laced in it previously, "This is our lifework we've dedicated years to bringing to fruition that you're trampling all over," He stood in impassivity, much to Genma's joy.

"Well that was a quick turnover," Ichigo deadpanned, mocking him further, "How bipolar."

Soun just ignored the audacious teen's bait to end his speech, "I… No. _We_ can't allow that to happen."

"You go, Tendo!" Genma bragged, rounding to Ichigo with a smirk, "Let's show this fellow he's about a hundred years too early to mess with us."

"Sure you wanna do that?" Ichigo asked slothfully, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course!" Genma clarified, setting himself into a stance.

"It doesn't have to come to this, son," Soun insisted, trying to talk Ichigo out of it, "Actually, I would prefer if this disagreement didn't come to blows, and it won't if you would just give us the lad."

"Sorry, but," Ichigo started, dragging a badge out of his pocket with a look of intent held within his pupils, "That can't happen. After what I had to deal with today from the nutcases around here, I can't in good conscious send her back here just to continuously get harassed by them day in, day out. I'll protect her no matter the cost."

"Stupid boy!" Genma roared, struggling to refrain from ripping the brat's throat out right there and then. He didn't know what made him more vexed. It was a toss-up between Ichigo implying his son would rather remain in his girl form or the foolish boy implying his son couldn't defend for himself, "I didn't dedicate a decade of years turning m'boy into a Man-Among-Men just for him to turn into some sissy girl!"

"Wait. Hold up," Ichigo inserted, his typical grouchy look of annoyance now more profound on his face, "A man-among-men? Seriously?"

Genma nodded seriously, "Of course! Every striving martial artist in the world endeavours to reach the pinnacle of masculinity! M'boy will be the target of envy of every other martial artist when he becomes the one who reaches such a divine status first! Make no mistake about it, boy!"

Soun nodded happily, "Yes, I agree with Saotome. Why, reaching such a rank would be an honour to any fellow, lad."

"Gee. How pretentious," Ichigo said acerbically, evoking more growls of impatience from Genma.

"Enough!" The bald bandanna-clad man demanded, "It's about time we end this mano-a-mano," He set himself into a stance.

"Okay," Ichigo shrugged, moving his brown paragon-shaped skull-designed badge inches to his chest, "Just remember you asked for this, not me," Pressing the badge against him, Ichigo ejected his soul form right out of his back, his physical body slumping to the floor.

Genma and Soun stood frozen in dumbfounded fright at what just transpired before them. One second they were looking at a mean-faced thuggish-dressed young man gearing themselves to do battle with him, and the next second they were gawking at an exact replica of the mean-faced redefined thug, only this one was dressed in black samurai-like robes and was wielding a tremendously huge bandaged wrapped cleaver on his back.

Suddenly fighting Ichigo didn't seem like such a good idea.

"Saotome, are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Soun trembled, gulping when Ichigo gripped the handle of his Zanpakuto.

"Uh." Genma hesitated, his legs doing their best impersonation of jelly, "Would it go away if I said no?"

"So," Ichigo said, his gruff voice hard as he removed his Zanpakuto from its place on his back, and the unfurling bandages elicited yelps from the two, "Still wanna take me on or what?" He asked, mockingly using Soun's own words against him, "Because I would prefer if it didn't come to this."

Soun winced at the proverbial slap in the face. Turning to Saotome, he donned an shaky encouraging smile, "Go on, Saotome! Show him the ways of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts!"

"There is a technique I've been saving for just the occasion."

"Then now is the time!" Soun grinned eagerly, eliciting a nod from Genma and he set himself into a simple stance, closing his eyes as though he was channelling the innate energy within his body.

"Anything Goes Secret Technique-!" Genma chanted.

"What are you waiting for, Saotome?" Soun demanded impatiently, shifting nervous glances to Ichigo, not sure whether to feel assured or worried that he was watching Genma's dramatic build up with an unreadable expression, "Do it!"

"Super Saiyan Transformation!"

"Eh?" Ichigo wondered, though his confusion was cleared up when Genma chucked a bucket of beautiful clear cold water he materialized from thin air over his head, and his body fuzzed out like a static television channel, taking the shape of his cursed panda form shortly afterward, "Ah, I see. You're only clowning around."

Ranma told him the only thing he would have to do to get her father and his friend to acquiesce to his demands was to flex those "beefy" muscles of his, and although the saucy way she had worded her tip to him infuriated the tangerine-headed warrior he couldn't deny he didn't appreciate it.

Even though Ichigo wasn't an antagonistic person by nature, he still didn't mind giving jerks their just desserts. Wannabe delinquent thugs around his neighbourhood frequently found themselves on the end of his boot.

Dropping to his knees, Genma pressed his head into the ground subserviently, *I'm just a helpless panda!* He communicated through the Coyle-like wooden sign he materialized out of nowhere, raising his head up to reveal tears raining down his cheeks.

"…Oh Saotome…" Soun slumped with a sigh, feeling utterly defeated.

"Really?" Yes, Ranma had informed Ichigo of Genma's get-out-of-jail free card ploy, but knowing of the man's cheap tactic to escape adversity beforehand still didn't make it any less cringeworthy actually seeing it transpire in a front-row seat. Perhaps if Ichigo was a pretentious, Kuno-esque individual, he would've indulged himself in grinding his heel arrogantly atop of Genma's head, but he wasn't so it just felt awkward seeing someone bowing before his supremacy.

"You didn't have to go this far, old man," Ichigo shrugged blankly, "I would've happily taken the surrender."

"Yes, lad," Soun sighed, glancing back at Ichigo with a tired gaze in his eyes emitting sadness, "You won. Saotome and I submit to your superiority."

They were confident in their chances to beat an upstart thug but against a samurai they would prefer to take the loss and save the trip to the hospital for another time.

"C'mon!" Ichigo adjured, and his defeated "opponents" curiously watched him bend over his second body, hooking his arms underneath its arms.

In a ghostly display, the sword-equipped, samurai-dressed Ichigo faded into the first Ichigo they had been acquainted with, and he stood to continue on with his sentence as if the occurrence never happened, "You make it sound like I'm the bad guy here."

"Well, it can interpreted through our perspectives that you are lad."

*I agree with Tendo!*

"Suit yourselves, then."

xXx

(Moments before)

xXx

"What's all the commotion about down there big sis?" Nabiki questioned once the elder sister appeared in view from the top of the stairs, leaned up against the door of her room with her arms crossed underneath her bosom.

"Oh, Nabiki!" Kasumi acknowledged her sister's presence with a start, showing she was clearly doubting her decision to run off upstairs leaving Ichigo to handle her father and her Uncle all by himself.

When one of her younger siblings cocked an eyebrow at her rare loss of elegant composure she regained it with a smile, "Why, Ranma-chan sent a nice young gentleman to collect her belongings for her."

"I see."

And she really could understand that approach too. While Ranma may have rebelled against his… her father occasionally, her inward courtesy always made her acquiesce to the Tendos. Nabiki was hard pressed thinking of a time that had Ranma openly defying the Tendos, even just once.

The fact that Ranma would ask her new friend to collect her belongings for her because of an innate fear of being talked into staying by one of them wasn't farfetched at all.

Ranma's departure from Nerima – and consequently – Nabiki's web of manipulation would've been a bummer, if not for the offer she received earlier, thus nullifying the loss to outright zero, "So little Saotome's patience of being in the closet has finally wore thin, huh?" Thus she could mock Ranma freely with a sneer.

"Nabiki," Kasumi frowned, eliciting a look of faux innocence from her sister, "You shouldn't be so derisive in regards to someone else's preferences, young lady. Ranma-chan has a right to be who she wants to be."

"If you say so," Nabiki shrugged unapologetically, drawing a sigh from Kasumi as she moved over to the banister, "So, who's the lucky guy who captured the heart of "our favourite" gender-bending martial artist then?"

Kasumi's face lit up like a house of decorations, "Oh! He said his name was Ichigo Kurosaki, and he's very well-mannered too."

Nabiki's heart clenched with a fright at the announcement of the redefined thug's presence within the Tendo Dojo, yet her curiosity led her to leaning over the banister to peer down at the three men engaged in a heated argument.

"I see," She said, backing up.

That was one person she wouldn't run the risk of trying to control.

"Nabiki, don't be rude," Kasumi reprimanded, "You should welcome our guest."

"I'll pass," Nabiki denied in a casual demeanour to masquerade her fear, pivoting on her heels. She continued to further delude her elder sister with a snarky remark, "Besides, I'm certain 'Mr Kurosaki' would rather leave here as quickly as possible to get back to his 'Ranma-chan.' I'd wager there's a… reward on the cards for him for retrieving her belongings."

"Oh my!" Kasumi gasped at the implications of Nabiki's quip, and her younger sister, hearing her discomfort, turned her head over her shoulder to toss her a wry smirk of victory.

"Toodle-oo," She said contently, sauntering back into her room.

Shaking her head, Kasumi continued on her way to the formerly shared room of Ranma and Genma, though after today it would only be Genma's. Entering the rather vacant room save for two futons and a set of Chester draws, Kasumi rolled up one of the futons and retrieved a travel pack from the cardboard built into the wall to neatly put it in.

Then she started removing Ranma's clothes from the Chester-draws to pack them away.

When she was about half way through her endeavour, her youngest sister entered the open room.

"What's going on onee-sama?"

"Oh, Akane," Kasumi said on her knees, delicately turning to her sister with sympathy in her soft eyes, "I'm sorry, but Ranma-chan sent a nice young gentleman to retrieve her belongings for her."

Akane's eyes widened at the confirmation that her now former fiancee was officially moving out, thus bringing an unconventional end to the engagement saga, "So that jerk has finally shown his- _her_ true colours then huh?" Though she was too prideful to ever admit Ranma's removal hurt her, thus got defensive to protect her insecurities, "Humph. Who needs her then?"

"Akane," Kasumi began, lifting a hand up to her mouth, "You shouldn't be so overly resentful toward her. She was your fiancee at one stage even if the two of you couldn't ever find common ground to stand on."

"But Kasumi!" Akane whined persistently, "That pervert fled the city without even telling one of us!"

"Wouldn't you, though, if you were forced to endure harassment every day you lived here?" Kasumi countered with a polite smile, a knowing glint in her eyes, and Akane suppressed a wince, turning away from her sister stiffly. Sighing lightly, Kasumi patted the spot down next to her, "Sit with me for a minute little sister."

Akane glanced back to her warily, but nodded docilely regardless. Kasumi was like the only person she could never find it in her to defy, backchat to, assert her authority over, or be rude in any way to.

Akane moved to her sister, lowering herself down on her knees, trying to emulate her sister's maidenly sitting style to the best of her abilities, "Yes, onee-sama?" She gave her a nod.

"Little sister," Kasumi started, grasping both of her sister's hands in hers, "I know your relationship with Ranma-chan didn't end on a good note, but don't foster resentment toward her. Okay?" She smiled at her sister's soft docile look of confusion, "Harbouring hatred only makes you think of petty vindictive thoughts, and petty vindictive thoughts often leads to petty revenge."

And just as easy as memorizing the alphabet the raging thunder cloud over the tsundere's head was dispelled, "Okay, Kasumi!" Akane smiled merrily, feeling enlightened as she often did by her elder sister's wise words of sagacity, "I won't hold it against Ranma. Promise!"

"That's nice," Kasumi validated with her soft melodic tone.

"Besides, I have Ryoga-kun now!" Akane said, her sunny smile turning sheepish, "Well, when he finds his way back to me."

"I'm positive he will, little sister."

XxX

"I'm finished!"

Soun cringed at his eldest daughter's chirpy tone, not knowing whether he should be relieved or sad that she was finished packing Ranma's stuff for Ichigo to take. For the last few minutes, the two men and panda had just been standing around awkwardly since Ichigo established his dominance.

Those moments were the most uncomfortable Soun had ever felt.

"Finally," Ichigo breathed out indistinctly, not wanting to be rude to the nice young maiden. When she reached the bottom step, he nodded appreciatively, "Thanks, Kasumi."

"You're welcome!" Kasumi smiled and Soun watched the passing of his former heir's backpack from the sophisticated maiden over to the unsophisticated fellow as though it transpired in slow motion, his heart breaking with each touch of security Ichigo wrapped around Ranma's backpack.

"Lad!" With tears gathering in his eyes, Soun sprung himself at Ichigo's arms, grasping onto the backpack holding all of the material items that tied Ranma to his dojo for dear life.

"What are ya doing, damn it?" Ichigo demanded with a grimace.

"Please lad! Don't take him away! I need him!" Soun pleaded, "We can work something out surely! Just don't take him away!"

"Father, please!" Kasumi begged, uncharacteristically criticizing her father on his behaviour, "You're making a fool out of yourself!"

Ouch. If there was anything that could let Soun know he was going overboard, then it was his eldest daughter bluntly telling him so, just for the simple fact he was used to his other daughters scolding him harshly. His eldest daughter, though... Not so much.

"I'm sorry, dear!" Soun hurried, tightening his grip on Ranma's backpack, "But I've waited so long to see my dream come to fruition! I can't see all of my and Saotome's hard work go to waste!"

"Just drop it!" Ichigo asserted, tussling the patriarch off of him, which sent him back to the wall next to Saotome's panda form, "It's over, old man!" He said, looking annoyed, "Deal with it!"

Vision slightly disoriented from the collision with the wall, Soun rolled over to his side, crawling near his friend, "S-Saotome…" He reached out to him, but the panda wouldn't even look at him, "…Please. For the sake of our schools…"

*I'm just a helpless panda!*

"Oh Saotome…" Soun bemoaned, slumping completely to the floor that felt so very cold.

Gently shaking her head, Kasumi turned to the scowling Ichigo, "I would like to apologize on behalf of my father, Ichigo-kun. I hope you weren't left too offended by his behaviour."

Having his behaviour excused by his daughter just felt like an additional kick in the teeth for Soun.

"It's okay," Ichigo waved it off, now just wanting to leave.

Kasumi politely opened the door for him and Ichigo nodded, stepping out into the cool refreshing air, slinging Ranma's backpack over his shoulder, "If it's not too much trouble could you give Ranma-chan my best regards?"

"Will do," Ichigo said simply, coolly tossing his hand over his shoulder, "See ya."

"Goodbye, Ichigo-kun," Kasumi responded and as she watched the young man ventured closer to the dojo gates with the gender bent martial artist's belongings slung over his shoulder, she envisioned Ranma in his place walking out of their lives with a dreamy stare of fond reminiscence.

It felt like only yesterday since the cursed fighter had been carried on her father's shoulder into their once boring lives, and consequently proceeded to liven them up with the mayhem that followed in her wake, and although Kasumi often shied away from the controversies, part of her thought they amusing from a safe distance.

…She just didn't know it until now.

Although she didn't know what the future entailed for the former Nerima resident – beside a marriage to the nice orange haired gentleman – Kasumi could safely say life around not only the Tendo Dojo, but also the entirety of Nerima would be vastly different now that Ranma had left the vicinity.

It would most likely regress to its original state before the arrival of Mayhem's incarnate: normality.

How boring.

"Farewell, Ranma… May we meet again." Someday.

And the door closed, symbolizing the closing of Ranma's insane life in Nerima.


	6. A Helping Hand

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Ranma 1/2**

* * *

Ranma lazily dragged herself upright at the sound of the front door opening then closing shortly afterward, glancing at the living room door. When it opened, her unofficial step sisters sauntered through, the tomboy yawning lackadaisically and the maiden beaming energetically.

"S'up, Karin-chan? Hi ya, Yuzu-chan," Ranma smiled and the twins veered off in her direction.

"Hey, Ranma," Karin greeted, slotting herself on one side of the redhead, both of her arms thrown over the top of the couch and her ankles crossed.

"Hello, Ranma-chan," Yuzu said pleasantly, ceremoniously sitting herself on the other side of the red-haired martial arts practitioner, hands neatly on her lap, "How was your day?"

Ranma eyed the girls' varying sitting positions with wry amusement sprinkling within her eyes, 'Man, they really are the yin 'n yang twins,' She rolled her wrist casually, "Meh, so-so, which is a first for me. My days usually suck."

Yuzu blinked with concern and Karin merely looked intrigued by her statement, "Really?" The yang light brown-haired twin asked, drawing a nod from the redhead, "That's saddening to hear," She smiled comfortingly, "How come your days are usually bad?"

"Cuz of the numbskulls hopping outta the woodwork whatever I'm out to stretch my legs or heading to school," Ranma explained with a shrug, eliciting equally puzzled expressions from the twins whom exchanged them with each other before looking back at her.

"Seriously?" Karin asked bluntly.

Ranma smirked, crossing one leg over the other as she tossed an arm back behind the couch, "Seriously, I ain't kidding. Nerima's a crazy ward Karin-chan, perhaps the craziest I've ever been to," She shrugged again at Karin's disbelieving look, "If not the craziest then it's definitely in the top three. Nearly anyone I've ever met is completely nuts!" She emphasized her befuddlement by chucking her arms upward, mindful not to hit the twins, though Yuzu still flinched from how quickly her tone escalated, "'N most were out for either my blood or worst," She feigned a retch, "My hand."

"Well that sucks," Karin said bluntly, not sure whether Ranma was exaggerating or not.

"But Ranma-chan," Yuzu prodded on in concern, "Didn't you ever ask them nicely to leave you alone?"

"I've tried," Ranma admitted and Yuzu sighed already, sensing the 'but' even before it left Ranma's lips, "But they're all so darn bullheaded they wouldn't even listen to a word I ever said," She crossed her arms, a resentment look contrary to the cheerful disposition the twins has grown used to seeing in her coming to her blue eyes, "Not like they woulda been able to comprehend my words anyway. They're stupid as all hell. Heck, one guy still thinks my hair's in a pigtail and calls me his 'pigtailed goddess'."

"The hell?" Karin grimaced whilst Yuzu held her hands up to her mouth to strife a gasp, "Seriously" Ranma nodded, prompting the tomboy to cock her head back to glimpse at her braided-styled hair to reaffirm her beliefs, "What a moron! Your hair isn't anywhere near close to being in a pigtail!"

"Xactly!" Ranma validated, sharply pointing a gun-shaped hand at Karin in a congratulating fashion briefly, leaning back afterward, "But try telling the numbskull that. He'll twist your words to his liking."

"Man, this Nerima-place sounds screwy as hell."

"That 'cuz it is."

Yuzu was the first one of the two out of her and her twin sister to put an ironic smile on Ranma's face with a question of complete and utter logic. Logic. Such a simple thing that could've avoided a whole heap of misinterpretations if it could've found its way to Nerima.

Too bad it often got side tracked in Karakura.

"Have you ever thought of moving away from there?" Yuzu asked, giving Ranma a polite smile, "I mean, I know you probably have family there, but still, if living there makes you unhappy then why should you?"

"You make a very good point, Yuzu-chan!~" Ranma teased with an utterly shit-eating grin engulfing the entirety of her face, eliciting blinks of confusion from the twins, "A very convenient point too, might I add?"

Karin silently inhaled with a flash of realization on her face, "Lemme guess," She requested, her features drying, "Dad offered ya a place to crash here, huh?" What a big sappy hippy her old man could be at times.

"Aww, ain't cha smart?" Ranma teased, lightly placing the palm of her hand atop of Karin's black-haired crown.

"Really?"

"Sorry. Couldn't resist."

"That's wonderful!~" Yuzu sang merrily, delicately conjoining her hands, "Leave it to daddy to come up with a solution to your problems."

"Ptff. If it means having another girl around to call his daughter, I bet the old man practically begged ya to stay," Karin huffed with an identical scowl Ranma couldn't help but relate to the tomboy's brother.

"That's our pops!" Ranma joked.

"He's the man with the plan!" Yuzu added, promptly getting her twin to roll her eyes at the two at the cheesiness of it all.

"And the bucks too," The redhead veered off, confusing both twins.

"Whaddya mean?" Karin asked, idly propping her elbow against the armrest and knocking her fist against her cheek in boredom.

Ranma pointed skyward with her index finger, "Look up," She suggested and the sisters did just that, their eyes widening at the hole Happosai made earlier.

"How the hell did that happen?" Karin asked.

"One of the numbskulls from Nerima dropped in to pay me a 'visit'."

"That just raises even more questions!"

"Remember when I said morons usually lie and wait for me to step outta my 'safehouse' before jumping outta the woodwork?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I've sorta become like Chaos' vessel," Ranma summarized with a shrug, "Hardly a day goes by in my life when it ain't screwed up."

"You're the most unlucky person I've ever met Ranma," Karin said plainly.

"Gee. Thanks."

"I really hope that isn't a common occurrence," Yuzu said worriedly, her arms forming a protective barrier in front of her chest, "I don't think daddy's bank account will be able to endure the flames if it does."

"Me either," A random horrifying image of Happosai groping her vulgarly passed through her mind, causing her to shiver, "Especially when it just so happened to be the biggest jerk in Nerima who crash landed through old man Isshin's roof to bug me."

She knew she was going to this regret asking, but her stubborn curiosity wouldn't let her leave the matter alone, so Karin asked regardless of her gut feeling telling her not to, "How bad is the creep?"

"He's a perv who gropes me every chance he gets."

"Ew!"

"No way!"

"Yes way."

"Beyond gross!"

"You're telling me. The old freak gropes me as hard and roughly as he can just to worsen the experience for me."

"Disgusting!" Now Karin wanted to throw up.

"But Ranma," Yuzu prodded, feeling really saddened by the hardships and ordeals Ranma had endured throughout her time in Nerima, "Didn't anyone tell him off or try to stop him from attacking you sexually?"

"Naw. You kidding?" Ranma said, "For such a teeny-weeny old fart, he's incredibly strong, the strongest martial artist in town as a scary matter of fact," Karin and Yuzu both cringed at that confirmation, "My old man and his pal, who were his students back in the day, are terrified of the freak."

"So, then," Yuzu gulped, her eyes watering with fear, "Did he… uh, touch you today?"

Ranma smiled reassuringly, "Don't sweat it. Old man Isshin batted him outta here before he could get anywhere close to me."

Yuzu exhaled, "Phew. That's relieving. I'm glad daddy was around. He would never let anything bad happen to neither Karin-chan nor I," Her eyes sparkled enthusiastically, "And now that you're here he won't let anything bad befall you either."

"Yeah, I'm sure dad would be willing to kill a guy before he lets a pervert gropes any of us like that," Karin agreed passively, and Ranma's eyes softened in gratitude.

"I'm glad," The redhead murmured.

"So ya need help gathering your stuff or what?" Karin asked plainly.

"No sweat. Ichi-chan already popped out to get 'em a while ago," Ranma said, "Thanks for the offer, though."

"Yay, so onii-chan was okay after all," Yuzu smiled in relief.

"I'm guessing the eradication of Ichi-chan's school musta been broadcasted on the radio, huh?" Ranma surmised.

"Yep," Karin validated simply, "Yuzu was fussing over Ichi-nii's status all day even after it was clarified that no one died or was even remotely injured."

"Karin-chan, I was not fussing," Yuzu protested with a pout.

Karin regarded her twin with a pointed look over Ranma, "Oh really?"

Yuzu looked away, all but handing Karin the victory, "Well, not that much."

"You threatened to injury yourself if sensei wouldn't let ya leave early!"

"Ohh!" Yuzu's cheek puffed out in visible infuriation, drawing a victory smirk from her twin.

Ranma giggled fondly, not just at Yuzu's adorable attempt to show anger, but the experience they were in as a whole, just because of the surreal feeling of having a casual conversation with not one but two people was granting her.

Naturally, having lived in a city block where the inhabitants all had some kind of bizarre deficiency about them that prevented them from thinking adequately, Ranma had very little experience in social interactions. Most of the time her conversations with the Nerima nutcases consisted of pretentious lectures about the importance of being manly, thoughts about honeymoons and children, and of course her most frequent interaction – which was ultimately the thing that pushed her away from Nerima – the shouting matches she engaged Akane in time and again.

The latter didn't seem so bad now that she was here. If she wasn't in frequent disagreement with the pseudo tomboy over minor, minuscule topics and situations then she would've never drawn Ichigo's attention, thus never have been offered a free ship off of the insanity isle and never had the chance to engage normal folks, like the twins, in civil conversations.

The closest she had ever come to a 'civil, friendly conversation' in Nerima was the discussions about childhoods that she had with Mousse and Ryoga one time she could hardly remember, and even then they were only together because they had an incentive to.

"Oh-kay then, ladies, let's call a truce from here, shall we?" She grinned, swinging both of her arms around their shoulders wholesomely, "Sides, it's my official integration here, y'know. We should be celebrating with a toast, notta argument. I've had enough of those to last me a lifetime."

"That reminds me," Yuzu said, smiling playfully in Ranma's grasp, "I've got another person to add to the chore chart now."

"Chore chart?"

Yuzu hummed in confirmation, "That's right. Everyone has to pull their own weight around here, you know?" Much like last night, Yuzu's smile turned frosty, eliciting a wince from her twin sister, "That won't be a problem, will it, Ranma-chan?"

"Oh-no!" Ranma shook her head to wave off any misinterpretations with her previous tone of uncertainty, "It's just.-" -She wasn't used to pulling her own weight around an accommodation shared by others, but nobody in the Tendo household with the exception of obviously Kasumi was. They had become so accustomed to Kasumi doing everything for them they started treating the matriarch like an unpaid servant.

Her father had even taken up the habit of rudely telling Kasumi to fetch him a beverage.

Of course she had no way of telling them this without becoming off as a lazy jackass, "Uh, it's cool," So she veered off and didn't. Classy as she could get, but that was Ranma. Put a technique in front of her, she'll decipher it in no time at all, but put normal people in front of her to talk to and she'll be as lost as a soccer fan in a baseball arena, "Chores are fine."

"Wonderful!" Yuzu clapped her hands, then slipped from the couch to stand on her feet, "Right! I better get dinner started now. You okay to wait?"

"Sure! As long as ya don't make me wait too long!" Ranma remarked in a jesting fashion as she playfully elaborated on her joke with a few mock strokes of her stomach, "Don't think you'll be able to take the grumbling of my stomach."

Yuzu giggled and the next innocent line she said would forever cement her a permanent spot in Ranma's heart, "I think I'm gonna like being friends with you, Ranma-chan."

"Friends, huh…?" Ranma murmured in a dreamlike fashion.

"You make it sound like you never had a friend before," Karin said, genuinely curious given the discussed numbskullery plaguing Nerima, "Have ya?"

Ranma concocted her own simple meditative pose by propping an index finger lightly on her chin, humming contemplatively. Could she honestly call anyone she had ever met and interacted with in Nerima a "friend" or even an "acquaintance" of hers given their resentment or lust for both of her forms and clear lack of equal interest?

She liked to think of Mousse and Ryoga as her buddies, but only because they were the only guys with martial artist prowess and each possessed a curse she could sort of relate to, but all they ever did was look to backstab her at any given opportunity to steal her suitors that she never truly wanted in the first place.

She knew Ukyo from her childhood, and while she did platonically love her, her consistent persistence to pursue a relationship with her put a clear strain Ranma found hard to ignore on their quote-on-quote friendship.

Shampoo was just an out-and-out no. The Amazonian had only ever wanted her hand in marriage and never tried to strike up a wholesome conversation with her. The fact that every time Shampoo hugged her always ended up with Akane smacking her – and not Shampoo - into a wall for something she never did took away a further few points from her in Ranma's book.

Nabiki was just a bitch she could never in a million years consider a friend. Since arriving at the Tendos, Ranma had been the subject of the mercenary's cruel ridicule, primarily in regards to her curse.

Kasumi was nice, but while she was nice, they never found any common interests to discuss in friendly conversation.

Soun was too old and her father was her father. Enough said. The old man would sooner beat the masculinity down her throat with lectures than have a father to son talk.

Really, the closest she had to a friend in Nerima was Akane.

" _Wanna be friends?_ "

She didn't know why, but at the current time those words had hit her hard. She clung to them, even when the two had fallen out over a misunderstanding. She desperately wanted to rekindle that small brief moment of friendship the two shared so bad she had convinced herself she cared for Akane romantically, though she never knew what the word 'love' meant and found it hard to distinguish love from friendship.

"Not really, no," Ranma admitted, ceasing her search around the proverbial bush.

"Dang. That sucks," Karin remarked, not even bothering to look at the proverbial bush as she offered the redhead a look of sympathy and a pat on the shoulder, getting a grateful smile from her as the redhead lightly tapped her hand.

"I concur with Karin-chan," Yuzu said with a nod of her head, grasping the redhead's other shoulder, "It's awful those meanies were so jerky that you couldn't relate to them, but," She smiled reassuringly, "-At least you have us now."

"Meh. You're cool with us," Karin assured coolly, not knowing how to show her emotions.

"Thanks, girls," She could feel some dirt gather in her eyes, but no matter what she wouldn't let a little bit of dust fabricate sentimental tears, regardless of her current gender. That was one half decent thing Genma had done for her, hardened her to some degree. And while she would utterly disregard his ridiculous notion that only girls could cry, she wouldn't discard it entirely.

Though Ranma couldn't discard the robotic conditioning even if she wanted to.

It had already been programmed into her system.

"That really means a lot."

"Don't sweat it."

"What are friends for," Yuzu added the finishing touches onto Karin's laid-back reassurance, allowing a peaceful silence to descend over them all, save for the television of course, "Okay. I'm gonna go make dinner now," With that said, Yuzu sauntered off as Karin picked herself up from the couch to move over to the television, bending over the stand.

"Wanna a game of Tekken to kill time?"

"Thought you would never ask." Ranma smirked as Karin squatted momentarily to grab the second controller from underneath the television stand, flipping on her PlayStation Three while she was at it, prompting Ranma to pick up the one she had laid on the ground, "I warn ya though, been practising while you girls have been at school."

"Then let's put ya to the test." Karin seated herself beside the redhead.

"Let's."

The City of Insanity

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 **SIX**

A Helping Hand 

(Elsewhere - Tokyo's Train Terminal - With Ichigo)

 _The train departing for Karakura Town will be arriving in five minutes_

"Yeah-Yeah," Ichigo sarcastically said underneath his breath in response to the audio recorded feminine voice echoing throughout the terminal he stood in with a strange feel of endearment.

He was in too much of an upbeat mood to feel moody as he stood underneath the sun blanketing the sky in an orange glow, Ranma's backpack slung over his shoulder. He was kind of glad to have chosen human transportation on his journey to Nerima. The duration gave him plenty of time to think; think about the future and what it entailed for both him and Ranma.

He had never meant a girl like her before, so sassy and bold, unafraid to flex her stuff to catch his attention. It was difficult keeping his sights away from her, especially the way she needled him sexually. That was both annoying and arousing given how shy Ichigo was around girls.

'Wonder if she wants to live as a girl though,' He honestly hoped so.

No girl had ever caught his attention the way Ranma had.

"Well lookie here. If it isn't one of my favourite little disciples off on his own little adventure." Speaking of grabbing his attention, his second mentor in the shinigami arts did so by landing squarely on his head in her cat form, nudging him lightly in the cheek with a paw, "How have you been? Too important to even call?"

"Hey, Yoruichi," Ichigo greeted nonchalantly.

"Ow!" Yoruichi faked a cringe at Ichigo's indifference to seeing her again, "Is that anyway to greet the woman who was kind enough to grant ya the skills from her vast repertoire so you could save your little friend, young man?"

From her perch atop of the head of the second shinigami she had ever trained, Yoruichi could see his hazel eyes rolling at the familiarity of her teasing nature he believed he had gotten used to, "Thanks, _mom_ ," He quipped back at her in the most satirical manner she had heard from him after all.

 _Oh._ So Junior thought he had grown accustomed to her attitude enough to quip back sarcastically at her, huh? With an silent inhale Yoruichi was glad to be on top of Ichigo's head, because she could challengingly lick her lips without setting him off.

How fun.

"That's better. See? That wasn't so hard, now, was it?" She said, sticking to the contrived script plotted by Ichigo's retort, her golden silts gleaming brightly.

With another roll of the eyes, Ichigo sardonically returned, "Sure wasn't," With an agreement reached, the mini banter between cat and man came to an end. Thank the lord there was so few people around, otherwise they might have noticed him conversing with a common house pet, "So what brings ya to me?"

"Oh, come now!" She prodded with another light nudge into Ichigo's dispassionate visage, "Can't a young sensei pay a random, but totally innocent visit to her cute little disciple without it seeming suspicious in anyway?"

"Ah-huh. The way you worded that makes me think you do have some sorta incentive for 'casually visiting' me as you so want me to believe."

"Oh, come off it," The feline-morphed shinigami insisted, waving a paw dismissively, "It's not like I came to pry into your love life like a stereotypical mother worrying about her delinquent son." Ichigo cringed, playing right into Yoruichi's paws, "Nope. Nothing like that at all."

"So that's your reason for coming to see me. Damn it! I'm such a dumbass for not seeing it sooner. Of course you would know about her given your ties with Hat 'n Clogs!"

"About who?"

"About my girlfriend!"

" _Oh_! So you admit to having a girlfriend, eh? Oh, my little disciple's all grown up."

"Crap!"

"Oh, quit fussing," Yoruichi ordered lightly, "So you have a girlfriend. Big whoop. She should be someone to be proud of, not ashamed or embarrassed of, you know?"

"But…" Ichigo lowered his voice, now aware few eyes were starting to drift over in his direction, "I'm not sure if we're really going out or not?"

Clocking on to the implications of Ichigo's uncertainty, Yoruichi gained a very fitting Cheshire grin on her cat countenance, "Does she playfully entertain the concept of the two of you being in a relationship?"

"Gee. Was it that confirmed?"

"Maybe a little," Yoruichi comforted, drawing a grateful, but ultimately timid nod from Ichigo, "Have you ever tried talking to her?"

"It's… uh, complicated."

"In what way?"

In that moment, the train conveniently whizzed into view, and the doors opened up to reveal three familiar faces Ichigo would've been annoyed at seeing if he wasn't having this conversation with Yoruichi as of right now.

"Keep your ears open and find out," He suggested grouchily, straightening himself as he moved to enter the train, the three Nerima residents moving from their transportation in sync to effectively meet the teen half way.

"Well, well, would ya look from the cat coughed up?" The tomboy chef elite quipped with a spiteful tone in her voice. The cat lifted up a paw in greeting, earning itself an inquisitive stare from Ukyo.

"Oh, real funny," Ichigo returned, drying Ukyo's icy glare with a disinterested one, "Really, ya almost had me in stitches here."

"You're one to talk," Ukyo retorted, parking her hands on her hips, "You know, you have some nerve showing your face around these neck-of-the-woods after taking Ranchan from here. What, come to rub it in our faces, have ya?"

"Just passing through to gather her stuff," Ichigo clarified simply, making Ukyo fume at his nonchalance.

"Ah, yes. A most fitting honourable task for a white knight such as yourself to accomplish for a fair maiden of the pigtailed girl's kind," The bokken wielding mock-samurai said, causing the cat on Ichigo's head to tilt its head to one side, "I see thee is quite the gentleman. Truly a most worthy knight to protect the pigtailed goddess."

"Did something happen to you guys?" Ichigo asked, staring suspiciously at the seemingly redeemed crackpots before him, his eyes slightly squinted.

"Mr Urahara had a word with each of us before sending us on our way," Ukyo explained, palming her forehead before shaking her entire head at her temporary companion's try-hard attempt at eloquence.

Why did she have to accompany these morons again?

Oh yeah. How could she forget? She wanted to make absolutely sure they all left Karakura Town without lingering around to contemplate ideas of apprehending Ranma and Shampoo for themselves, thus evoking Kisuke's rage.

True, Ukyo didn't particularly care for either boy due to their constant harassment of Ranma, and truthfully would've been glad to never have to associate with either of them ever again, but sentencing them to their deaths just wasn't the way to go about it.

Her conscious would never be able to live it down.

"He did?" Ichigo asked with a simple caress of his neck, cocking his head back indistinctly to look at Yoruichi.

"You heard right," Ukyo shrugged.

"A word's putting it lightly," Mousse spoke up, embracing his arms for security, "He put the fear of god in us!"

Blinking wordlessly, Ichigo shifted his gaze to Ukyo for clarification.

"Mr Urahara effortlessly killed the old perv," She scowled. Since when did she become the unofficial spokeswoman for the two males?

"Mr Hat 'n Clogs killed that dirty old midget?" Ichigo asked, getting a nod from Ukyo, "Good riddance to a bad egg then," Usually, he would've been lecturing a murderer on the wrongs of taking another's life before turning them in, in an almost _Naruto-like_ manner. He didn't condone mindless butchery, but that old man was just begging to be put down like a sick dog passed his expiry date.

"My sentiments exactly," Ukyo sighed, uncertain whether it was out of bliss for Happosai's demise or annoyance that she couldn't find joy in the nickname Ichigo gave Kisuke, "At least I can rest assured knowing I won't be groped day in, day out." Okay, what the hell was what up with that cat? It just nodded its head in understanding as though it realized she was a girl via her description. Freaky.

"Yeah, I hear ya," Ichigo certainly wasn't going to disagree after seeing the now slayed pervert sexually assault Orihime; aka the kindest girl on campus. No girl should have to endure that, least of all her.

"Truly, it was a valiant deed," Kuno said, a sobered look of concentration in his eyes, "I now see where thee learnt thy trade from."

So he was identifying Kisuke as Ichigo's master. Sheesh. He could've just said that instead of dragging it out somewhat in an unnecessary eloquent fashion, "Well, you're not wrong," Technically, Kisuke was Ichigo's mentor, one of them at least, "He is one of the folks who trained me after all."

Staring so questionably at Ichigo's relaxed face, the boys never noticed the cat looking undeniably chuffed. Instead, they turned to Ukyo, silently agreeing to let her do the talking.

"Why are ya looking at me for, ya jackasses!?" She yelled impatiently, "You idiots wanna know, not me! So flip a coin and decide between the two of ya who asks him whose his second mentor is."

'Ooo, we have a touchy one here,' Yoruichi's golden orbs silted in a delightfully devious fashion.

"Okay," Mousse said, glancing at Ichigo, "Who's the second one?"

"You're looking at her," A simple thumb was jerked up in Yoruichi's direction.

They blinked blankly at her, until Yoruichi raised a paw and greeted them in her typical masculine cat voice that threw Ukyo off, "Hi," Then their stares turned outright owlish.

"Uh… Guess we've seen weirder," Mousse said, which was partially true. Hardly a day went by without something wacky occurring, and, for better or for worst, Saotome always seem to be at the forefront.

"If this isn't proof of thy high tech sorcery then even I, Tatewaki Kuno, won't know what to say," Kuno said, making Ichigo roll his eyes.

"Wait a minute," Ukyo said, a suspicious gaze coming to her eyes as she pointed a light index finger at Yoruichi, getting the cat to mockingly beam at the attention given to her, "You're a girl cat?"

"I was going to say the same to you."

"Touché."

"Well, we better board our train before it takes off without us," Ichigo noted.

"Indeed," Kuno said, bowing uncharacteristically to Ichigo, unnerving him and amusing Yoruichi.

"Hey-Hey-Hey! There's no need to bow! Aw man! You're already doing it!"

"I, Tatewaki Kuno, bequeath the fair maiden, the pigtailed goddess, to thee. May she be well nurtured in thy custody."

"Fine! Whatever! Just go!" Ichigo demanded, yanking Kuno up by the scruff of his neck before kicking him toward the exit.

"That's giving him his marching orders!~" Yoruichi quipped in a sing-song voice.

"Shut up," Ichigo groused and much to his annoyance his irritation turned out to be Ukyo's amusement as she smirked.

"Well it seems you two are having fun," She teased, only getting goaded on by Ichigo's warning glare, "We'll just leave ya to it sugar," Grabbing Mousse by the scruff of his neck, Ukyo threw him past Ichigo, tucking a hand into her pocket afterward, "Take care of Ranma-honey, will ya? You know I couldn't."

"Hey," Ichigo said the moment Ukyo sauntered past him, never sparing a glance to her.

Ukyo stopped, glancing back at Ichigo with an almost docile look in her eyes at his sobered tone, "Yeah?"

"You know this doesn't have to be the end, right?" Ichigo noted, clarifying shortly after Ukyo's confused utterance of eh, "Of yours and Ranma's friendship, I mean?"

A brief look of realization flashed across her countenance before it dissipated to give way for an bitter ironic smile, "Mr Urahara said it would be better if I stayed away from Ranchan."

"Probably doesn't realize the two of you could be friends. He only 'knows' her through me after all."

"I see," Ukyo nodded, "Well, Ranchan and I were close childhood friends eleven years ago."

"What happened?"

"His father happened, sugar." Enough said.

"Figures," Ichigo rolled his eyes, "He seems to be the catalyst of every bad thing that's happened to her."

"Trust me sugar. You don't know how close to home you've actually hit with that one. "

"I really don't wanna know," Because otherwise he might just consider going back to start and finish the threat Genma had provoked on him, "Anyway," He shook his head to banish any malevolent urges, "Give me your number. I'll pass it on to Ranma. I'm sure she'll be willing to give ya a buzz to hang sometime down the road."

He may not have known her that long, but Ichigo just couldn't see Ranma as the kind of judgemental person who would neglect others without a good reason. She had such a friendly nature he knew his sisters would love her in no time at all.

"Right," Ukyo said, taking out her phone, a mockingly suspicious smirk forming on her lips, "You ain't just gonna keep my number to yourself just to prank call me, are ya?"

Swiping out his cell, Ichigo scoffed with a roll of his eyes, "Seriously? Do I look five to you?"

"Guess not," She grinned in mock innocence, feeling a positive sense of relief wash over her as she quickly exchanged numbers with Ichigo, "You know, you're not as much as a jackass as I originally thought you were. I'm starting to see why Ranchan chose to live with ya."

"Gee. Thanks."

Tucking her phone back into her pocket, Ukyo turned, flicking her hand up, "Take care, sugar. Call me sometime, y'hear? I'm looking forward to seeing… her again."

"Will do," Ichigo assured, nonchalantly ignoring the tense way Ukyo described Ranma in. He could give her that leniency after all.

"That was really quite kind of you," Yoruichi noted with an affectionate caress of Ichigo's cheek.

"I was only helping out a friend."

"You mean your girlfriend."

Ichigo tensed up, releasing an awkward sigh out of his mouth, "…Yeah."

"Wanna tell me about her? Preferably on the train so we don't miss it?"

It was at that moment Ichigo realized throughout the duration of the nattering conversation he had completely forgotten about his only temporary suspended transportation back home, "Oh crap! The train!" He turned, hauling ass to it just as the automatic double doors began to close.

Yoruichi wisely leaped off of his head, skilfully worming her through the closing doors without getting caught. Ichigo, however, was not so lucky.

"Ow!" He yelled, half of his head caught in between the doors. As if sensing someone caught, they opened, letting him in fully with Ranma's belongings, "Damn it…" He glared down at a content looking black cat, "Don't you laugh!" Wasn't this ironic?

"Who said I'm laughing?" She batted her little eyelashes at him in faux-innocence.

"Whatever!" He groused before he straightened himself, giving Yoruichi a silent gesture to hop back on his head. She did so, and he marched off to a carriage to enjoy the ride. Luckily, they weren't many people on the train, so Ichigo had a mostly spacey coach to himself.

He chose a seat with a table so he could perch his elbow upon its surface and rest his chin on his hand, idly looking out of the window as the speedily moving surroundings carried him away from his present situation at hand.

"So," Though Yoruichi's casual voice bought him right back to it.

"So what?"

"You know," She began as though her enquiry was as simple as the weather, "Are you going to tell me why those kids were referring to your girlfriend in both the male and female pronouns?"

"She was originally a boy," He mumbled, masquerading his unease with casual nonchalance.

"And what happened?" Yoruichi enquired further, "How did she become a girl?"

"Her father took her to some place called Jusenkyo."

Surprisingly, Yoruichi let out an inhale of realization, "Ah, I understand now."

"What? You've actually heard of that place?" Now it was Ichigo's turn to inquire, breaking his feigned indifference in the process.

"Yep!" She said with a touch of pride in her voice, springing off of Ichigo's head to land on the table, "Don't look so surprised! I was a member of the Gotei Thirteen. Every historic location in the World of the Living has been recorded at least once by the Stealth force."

"Cool," Ichigo remarked flippantly, dismissively closing his eyes and perching his head against the glass window of the coach he resided in, "That cuts out the explanation then."

"…You can't get out of this talk by pretending to be asleep, you know?"

"Shut up. I can try, can't I?"

xXx

(Seireitei)

xXx

Ryoga was in quite the dilemma now as he sat dumbly on a bed within an infirmary-like room his guidance referred to as a barrack. One would expect Ryoga to be relieved that fate had actually taken mercy on his poor soul for once and sent him a guardian angel to get him away from that madman. His notion of her was further validated by this strange light motherly aura with a tinge of heavenly bliss she had around her form.

He clung to her as though she was his last life line and frantically begged her to get him away from Mr Musclehead she referred to as Captain Zaraki with an almost sad glint within in her pupils that Ryoga was surprisingly able to pick up.

She introduced herself as Retsu Unohana with only one request, one very simple request; he had to, under all circumstances, courteously address her.

…Such a condition was bread-and-butter stuff for Ryoga Hibiki given that he was a polite guy by nature, even more so than Ranma. While the half girl, half boy often politely address a female as "lady," Ryoga took it a step beyond and addressed one by madam.

No, the problem came when Unohana specifically asked Ryoga to stay put on the bed, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. And when Ryoga politely asked if he could at least move around the room everything shot to hell.

Firstly, her smile strained, initiating the second step, the distorting of her heavenly aura. An unearthly, intangible thick aura of distorted malevolence leaked out of her in _waves_ from her benevolent façade, which, frighteningly enough, never faded despite the suffocating killing intent she spiked to let Ryoga know she meant business.

" _You will stay right here until further notice. Okay_?" Ryoga had never felt so frightened by a polite "request" in all his life. How does one even politely assert his/her dominance over another anyway?

They have crazy killing intent masqueraded with a pretence of kindness that was how.

Hence Ryoga's dilemma. He wasn't sure whether he should've gambled on this strange woman or taken the hairy chance of giving in to that lunatic's desire for a fight against him.

"How do I get myself into these situations?" He sighed, cocking his leg up on the mattress of the bed he laid on.

He wasn't even scared of women either like most generic anime characters. He just had a lot of respect for them given his upbringing.

At least his father and mother had managed to drill that one positive trait into him… before getting lost again.

What could he say? The innate teleportation imperfection of ending up on the other side of the planet after just stepping out to grab a carton of milk ran in the family.

"Um. Hello?" A timid feminine voice gently pulled Ryoga's attention over to the door to find a gap was made for a slightly pale-skinned, silver-haired, shy-faced head to poke itself through, "Would it be okay if I come in?"

"Um," Ryoga said, contemplating if the young woman was using her shy demeanour to masquerade her real domineering mentality, "Sure."

Ryoga's acceptance was all the encouragement the young woman needed to gently push the door open all the way, causing his eyes to briefly dilate. In the doorway stood perhaps the lankiest woman he had ever lied eyes on, slender-skinned arms held below her wrist. Like most walking swordsmen and women in this land, she too sported a full shihakusho complete with a white sash around her slender waist and straw sandals on her feet.

Other features of the tall woman included her messy hair, which was spiky, a strand on the right side of her face styled as a braid, thin red-earring on each ear, and a distinguished badge strapped on her left arm.

Comfortably sat on her hip was her weapon of choice, a katana with a blue handle.

'Whoa! She's tall!' Ryoga mused, marvelling in awe at her height.

"I'm sorry," She flinched at Ryoga's intensive stare of astonishment at her, mentally sighing in frustration at the reason for his surprise. Oh poop, she just _had_ to keep growing. Even drinking bowl after bowl of porridge and going on a sleepless strike for a long duration of time couldn't halt her growth. How irritating, "Perhaps I should come back…"

Worried that he had offended the woman, Ryoga hastily shook his head, "Oh no!" He hurried, "It's just…" Rubbing the back of his head with his hand sheepishly, Ryoga decided it would be for the best if he would just dropped the subject entirely, "Forget about it! Come in please! I wouldn't want you using your scary smiling thingy on me like Unohana-san."

It only took her a second to deduce what Ryoga was referring to from the implications, "Oh no!" She frantically downplayed, flailing her hands, "I have nothing of the sort," She lowered her arms back to her waist in their previous girly cross, "I'm afraid I'm not that formidable."

"Oh, really?" Ryoga asked curiously, drawing a small nod from the girl.

"Yes, unfortunately."

"Well, I'm not either," Ryoga grinned nervously, surprising the swordswoman somewhat, "Guess that kinda-sorta puts us in the same boat huh?"

Ryoga's humble charm did the thing he was hoping for, put a smile on the young woman's face, "Yes, I suppose it does," She said, 'You were right, Captain-Unohana. This ryoka does seem like a lovely fellow,' But then again when was her motherly captain ever wrong in her judgement of someone?

"So, who are you?" She blinked at his straight-forward question and Ryoga realized how curt his innocent question could've been interpreted through her ears as he grinned sheepishly, "Guess I should start off by introducing myself first, huh?"

Her gentle smile resurfaced, "It's alright," Placing a hand on her chest in a feminine fashion, the formerly unknown woman cemented her place as a recurring character, "My name is Isane Kotetsu."

"Isane, huh?" He asked with an uncharacteristic wry fanged grin on his face. Usually, he would've been a stuttering mess in the face of a pretty young woman, but after acquiring Akane he had felt a lot more self-assured about himself, "Nice name."

"Thank you," Isane said softly, "Yours?"

"Ryoga Hibiki," The bandanna-clad young man said, "So, Isane. Could you tell me where am I, and which be the best direction to take to get back to Nerima in the shortest time possible, please?

Isane blinked, "You don't know?"

"Know what?"

Isane's eyes softened remorsefully, "You're not in the living world anymore."

Ryoga's eyes dilated and he could hear the rapid beating of his heart drumming against his chest in fear, "So I'm, uh… where exactly?"

"The Soul Society."

Ryoga winced at the blatant insinuation of the identified location he resided in as of right now, "So I'm in heaven!"

Isane blinked at Ryoga's rather theatrical panic, "Um, yes. It can be referred to as such."

"Damn it!" Ryoga figuratively fell into despair and off of his borrowed bed to the cold floor below, tears pooling in his eyes as he pounded the floor, "Just when it looks like my life took a turn for the better, _this_ goes and happens!" He exclaimed, hitting the ground again, the thought of his smiling angel appearing his mind, reminding him he would never see her beautiful face again, "Oh Akane! I'm so sorry I died!"

Isane watched Ryoga's theatrics with an awkward sweat sliding down her cheek before surmising it was probably her mistake for phrasing the location they were in so forebodingly, "I'm sorry!" She hurried, holding her hands up in a placating manner as she took a gentle step forward, "It wasn't my intention to mislead you."

Ryoga stopped, lifting up his head, hope glinting within his eyes already glittery from the tears of despair, "So I'm not dead?" He asked carefully, frightened to say it.

Isane's sheepish grin warmed, "No."

Ryoga exhaled loudly, throwing his head up, "Thank god for that!" Isane's smile turned sheepish at the irony of Ryoga's exclaim, "But wait!" He blinked blankly, "If I'm not dead how can I be in heaven Isane-san?"

"That's a mystery we're yet to discover," She shook her head with a soft sigh, "Captain-Unohana believes you may have an innate teleportation ability you subconsciously used to infiltrate the Seireitei."

"I do cover vast distances in my travels in a short amount of time," Ryoga added on to strengthen Unohana's theory in regards to his uncanny ability to appear in the Soul Society, crossing his legs and folding his arms over his chest with a nod of his head in reason.

Isane blinked, surprise evident on her countenance, "Oh. So you know when you're doing it?"

"Not really," The eternal wanderer shrugged, waving away the misinterpretation, "I usually don't put much thought into where I end up. Kinda gotten used to getting lost by now," He admitted, elaborating with a whimsical rhyme, "So if I end up in France by chance I just shake it off, and begin on a long expedition back home. Typically takes about three months at minimum."

Isane giggled behind her hand, "You're funny, Hibiki-san."

"Gee. Thanks," Ryoga grinned wryly.

"It must be difficult to manage with such a… imperfect technique," Isane carefully worded, "Getting lost at random times of the day. I can't imagine how worried your parents must be during your disappearance spell."

"Not as worried as you would think," He said, "They get lost as much as I do."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It runs in the family."

"Oh dear!" Isane gasped, "How awful! You hardly get to spend time with each other."

"Yeah it sucks," Ryoga bemoaned slightly, soaking up the pity, "But we used to seeing each other on scarce occasions. Mostly on the holidays. We give each other a three months head start to get back home in time for the festivals."

"I understand, but still."

"I know," Ryoga assured and with an agreement reached, the topic of the traditional Hibiki subconscious teleportation ability petered out, allowing the lost-boy to enquire about the location they were in, "Hey, Isane-san."

"Yes, Hibiki-san?"

"What is this 'Seireitei' place we're in?"

"It's the Capital City of the Soul Society," Isane said, and when she elucidated further, Ryoga paled, "The central point where shinigami of my kind learn their trade and get drafted into one of the main thirteen squads that make up the Gotei Thirteen," She smiled sheepishly, "I suppose in human terms, our camp would be classified as a military base."

"Hah. You don't say," Ryoga said, grinning shakily in a failed attempt to repress his nerves at the revelation that he was surrounded by warriors who could sentence him to hell if they wanted, "No wonder Musclehead-guy and Unohana-san are so strong."

Isane tilted her head to the side, "Are you okay, Hibiki-san?"

"I'm great. I was just contemplating whether or not it's too late to write out a will leaving all of my stuff to Akane," Ryoga bemoaned satirically.

"You make it sound as if we're monsters," The tall young woman frowned, feeling a tinge of worry at yet another mention of the decidedly distinguished "Akane."

Oh poop, and he seemed like such a nice, straightforward young man too, and most of all, easy to talk too. Finding individuals to interact with had always been a tedious task for the shinigami. Her lack of confidence in herself made it difficult for her to come out of the protective shell she had instinctively encased herself in.

Lightly shaking his head at first, Ryoga sighed and combed a calming hand through his crop of black hair, "Sorry. Didn't mean to offend, it's just," His face scrunched up, "Musclehead-guy and Unohana-san scared the pants off of me for different reasons that basically amount to the same thing." They were insanely powerful.

Isane nodded her head in understanding, "I understand. The power of the thirteen captains of the Gotei can be… frightening to an outsider's perspective."

"Yeah," Ryoga said, grasping his head as he wallowed in the despair he found himself in, "And there's eleven more of 'em! God help me! I won't be able to see Akane again if I even step slightly out of line!"

"Akane…" Isane smiled remorsefully, and her sad tone evoked a blink of curiosity from the lost-boy, "She must be someone who hold very dear to your heart."

"Yeah," Ryoga confirmed in a soft murmur, raising his head to the sky with a tender smile on his face as though he was envisioning his angel smiling down at him, "She means everything to me."

"Partner?"

"Sorta."

"Oh. Does that mean…?"

"That mean 'what' exactly?"

Isane's blushing face was all the implication Ryoga needed to understand what she was hinting at.

"Oh you mean that!"

She avoided his gaze and the room fell into an unbearable silence.

…Awkward.

Since when was he a lady man?

xXx

(Elsewhere – Location Unknown)

Xxx

Retsu Unohana, captain of the fourth division, Soul Society's number one medic, and the woman who puts the fear of god in just about anyone was a good judge of character. Even with the minimum time she spent interacting with the ryoka, she felt she had garnered enough from his statements to make a vague evaluation of his character.

Like most normal teenagers with a natural dislike of education he was simple and straightforward, especially in regards to his desires. He actually reminded her a lot of Captain Zaraki, though he was a lot politer than the rebellious captain.

His simplicity and obvious shoddy sense of direction were the two most predominant traits she related to Kenpachi. Just talking with him gave her a healthy dose of déjà vu considering the history she had with the Eleventh Captain.

Such a lovely young man. Unohana just couldn't bring herself to kill him on sight like most military operatives would've immediately done to an intruder in her position. She even nudged Isane in his direction in the hopes the two could find a kindred spirit in the other, because in terms of shyness, they came from the same pole.

Now, the question lingered; what to do with the young man who was technically an intruder, even if he infiltrated the Seireitei involuntarily?

Common sense would indicate she could take one of three options with the human boy.

One: Dispose of him heartlessly.

Two: Send him back to the living world coldly.

Or Three: Propose a few of her subordinates take him under their wings.

Considering her pledge to never raise her sword again option one was crossed off. She had already put her killing days _long_ since behind her and was now on the long trail to redemption. Murdering Ryoga would've knocked her off of the path of penance.

Option two didn't seem too appealing either. If this accidental infiltration had happened two weeks after she had hung up her sword, then maybe she would've considered dumping him back in the world of the living. By now, she had grown into her motherly nun demeanour and made it who she was.

It wasn't something she could simply shred. Not under normal conditions.

So that left option three of the only desirable option to take, but if she was being honest with herself, she wasn't particularly looking forward to taking that approach either, just for the fact she would have to first run it through the Chief Commander, aka the strongest shinigami _in_ the Seireitei, to even get the leeway necessary for Ryoga to be trained in the art of the shinigami, to some degree.

"Head-Captain," Unohana said gently, kneeled before the powerful presence of the big chief, and old age didn't look like taking a toll on his muscular structure.

The broad-shouldered head honcho's most recognizable characteristics were his long grizzly beard, thick eyebrows – both grayed from his aging years - squinted eyes, and war-induced perpendicular scars above his right eye.

Instead of actually wearing his haori he just left it draping over his broad-shoulders.

"What is it you've come to discuss, Captain-Unohana? Speak now," The elder commanded in a raspy tone.

Unohana nodded lightly, her delicate face framed by the strands of her long black hair that cascaded to her back in a neat ponytail, "A ryoka was found by the Eleventh division."

Yamamoto's eyes intensified, "Eliminate the intruder immediately!" All threats to justice must be effectively annihilated without prejudice.

Unohana smiled sarcastically, "Head Captain forgive my impudence, but have you taken your medication today?"

Yamamoto growled, resisting the urge to huff and look away, "I have neither the desire nor a need for such things," It was the same reason why he wouldn't wear glasses in despite of his short-sighted vision, because such artificial improvements would ruin his image of omniscience, "Are you implying the ryoka didn't purposely infiltrate the Seireitei?"

"Yes," Unohana nodded, "I spoke with him briefly before leaving him in the care of my lieutenant. He's a lovely, polite young man who appears to possess an uncanny ability to subconsciously materialize in any given location."

Yamamoto assimilated the information with a nod, his hands held on his staff, "In that case, why has the ryoka not been escorted back to the World of the Living?"

"I was hoping a training regime could be formed for young Ryoga to learn from the various squads of the Gotei," Unohana explained, and as she expected Yamamoto dilated his eyes, "If he can learn to consciously perform his teleportation ability, I believe we'll have an invaluable asset in the war against Aizen."

"Denied!" Yamamoto boomed, feeling sick with enraged disbelief that a member of the elite Gotei divisions would even imply such a suggestion let alone suggesting such so straight-forwardly, "I am very disappointing in you, Captain-Unohana. For a captain to propose such a ludicrous idea is a blasphemy against the ways of Gotei thirteen itself!"

…Hence why Unohana wasn't looking forward to bringing this idea to Yamamoto's table. He may have been the most powerful Shinigami currently residing in the Seireitei, but he was also as stubborn as a mule.

With such godly power he never saw a reason to change his stance on the no-outside-inference-rule. If you wasn't aligned with the Gotei thirteen then you were a spectator at best and an enemy at worst in Yamamoto's field of vision.

"I understand the significance of maintaining a strong team morale," Unohana began to reason, trying to appease the head chief's way of thinking, "But we haven't accumulated much data on Aizen and his methods for obtaining the oken. Surely, the most suitable course of action we can take to counter Aizen's preparations would be to gather as many allies as possible to append to our own firepower."

"Enough!" Yamamoto echoed, thudding the ground once with his staff, asserting his authority, "My decision is final. We will not disgrace the Gotei Thirteen by allying ourselves with those not aligned with the Gotei Thirteen."

"Does this prohibition apply to the substitute Shinigami Ichigo Kurosaki?"

"No. The substitute Shinigami aligned himself with us the instance he accepted the Shinigami badge from Captain Ukitake, thus he will be permitted allowance to enter the upcoming war."

"Understood, head captain," Unohana said and stood, "Though if it's not too much trouble would it be okay if I trained the ryoka regardless?"

Why would she go out of her way to train one random ryoka from the human world? There was a billion of his kind. Yamamoto couldn't wrap his head around such an absurd course of action, "And why would you want to go out of your way just to train one ryoka, Captain Unohana?"

"Just to make sure he doesn't repeat the mistake of entering the Seireitei involuntarily," Unohana explained smoothly, earning herself a raised eyebrow from Yamamoto, "As I've explained that I hold the credence that Ryoga-kun possesses an innate teleportation ability he subconsciously uses, I fear leaving him unchecked could result in him repeating his mistake of infiltrating the Seireitei again."

"Very well," Yamamoto granted, "You may aid the ryoka in his teachings to keep him from repeating such a foolish mistake in the near future, but any further improvements that could potentially sway my stance on his disallowance in entering the incoming war forbidden!"

…Wow, was he really so stubborn about the Gotei Thirteen fighting their own battles without insistence that he didn't want anyone not aligned with them – like Ichigo Kurosaki – to improve upon their abilities in despite of their vast untapped potential? If she wasn't his subordinate Unohana would've chided him with her signature malevolent smile of creepy kindness.

"Understood, Head-captain," She wasn't so all she could do was accept the leeway he had given her with an internal sigh. After several awkward seconds passed by, Unohana stood, bowed respectfully, and removed herself from Yamamoto's presence, leaving the head captain to gaze out of the window with a resolute expression on his wrinkled countenance.

"I will annihilate you from existence, Aizen."

xXx

'I just know I'm gonna regret this,' Ichigo grouched, watching Yoruichi spring up to his balcony with a glare in his eyes. Inhaling in an futile effort to regain some semblance of composure, he dragged his heels around the corner and over to the front door of the property, slotting his key into the key hole to open it up.

"I'm back!" He hollered, his gruff voice echoing in the hallway as though he was in a tunnel. With Ranma's material items now tying her to the Kurosakis slung over his shoulder, Ichigo nonchalantly made his way through the narrow hallway and to the living room/kitchen door of the interior, stepping through only to easily step to the side as a light breeze fabricated from a foot sailed past his chin.

"Nice try, Goat-face," He dismissed his attacker with a simple shoulder-barge.

"Uh. Well done son of mine. Seems I taught ya too well…" Isshin said dazedly, drawing a small fit of giggles from his more cheerful daughters in Yuzu and Ranma and a roll of the eyes from Karin.

"Yeah-Yeah." He donned on with mock-interest as he sauntered over to Ranma and Karin.

"S'up Ichi-chan?" Ranma said, her sapphire eyes glinting playfully with her next satirical remark, "I'm guessing your visit to the Tendos didn't loosen ya up any, eh?"

Widening his eyes, Ichigo feigned an overly annoyed expression, "Yes, Miss telepathic."

"Yep!~ How'd ya know, hubs?"

"Eh?"

"About my telepathy."

"What the hell are ya talking about?"

"Don't play ignorant, son. You know what she means," Isshin inserted, rounding to his son's side to wrap an arm around his shoulder, "After all, you're Mr Telepathic."

"What?!"

"Guess that's 'Mrs' Telepathic, not miss, right Ichi-nii?" Karin joined in, disguising her smug expression with bored indifference.

"Just hold on a sec!" Ichigo pleaded, waving both of his hands around, Ranma's bag thrashing in his grip as he did.

"No need to be shy," Ranma teasingly prodded, rising up to Ichigo's height using the crouch as leverage to close the distance between their faces. She smiled deviously when Ichigo's breathing deepened at their close proximity, before pecking him on the cheek, causing him to stiffen, "I mean, I know you couldn't put a ring on my finger due to lack of funds, but I still consider ya as much as a hubby as any other wifey would consider her husband as such."

"What!?" Ichigo sputtered, finding it extremely difficult not to steal glimpses at her creamy legs left unimpeded by his own shirt on her petite form.

"Geez Ichi-nii. You're becoming a bigger cheapskate than even Dad," Karin inserted with a shake of her head and a shrug of mock indifference.

"Yep!" Isshin impulsively agreed with a goofy smile on his face, though when he stopped to rationalize the implications of Karin's quip, he feigned a pout, "Hey."

"Good thing you were able to catch such a laid-back girlfriend then," Karin finished, ignoring her father.

"Wait damn it!"

"We're waiting," Ranma smiled knowingly, and as she expected, Ichigo paused, looking hopelessly gobsmacked that he had even gotten the 'requested' patience he had wanted, "S'kay," Ranma said with another soothing peck, this time on the tip of Ichigo's nose, "No need to be so surprised. I'm gonna listen to ya, you know, as your significant other."

"Man…" Ichigo slumped as Ranma seated herself back down and hand fived Karin, both tomboys sporting sassy grins.

"Onii-sama."

Ichigo would've groaned in response to his younger sister's call if she didn't sound so serious, all but telling him play was over, "Yeah?" He asked, wheeling around to gaze upon his sister's 'stern' look with a blank stare.

At least she was trying to look as severe as she could, one hand on her developing curve and another waving a wooden spoon about, failing quite spectacularly, if Ranma's stifled squeals were anything to go on.

Yuzu was too adorably cute to look even mildly stern let alone angry.

"Why didn't you phone?"

"Eh?"

"Your school, mister," Yuzu emphasized with a couple of light jabs into Ichigo's ribcage, "Karin-chan and I heard it collapsed on the radio at school," She anchored her hands on her hips, "So why didn't you call to let us know you were alright sooner?

"Oh, that?" Yuzu attempted a glare in a bid to ward off Ichigo's nonchalance, but looking as cute she did, she merely pouted inadvertently, "Don't worry about it."

"What does that mean?!" Yuzu stomped her foot on the ground in an effort to assert herself, "I was worried about you!"

Ichigo smiled warmly, unintentionally rubbing it off on Ranma as he coshed a gentle hand on his sister's head, lightly bringing her into his embrace, "Sorry," He said with sincerity to Yuzu's widened eyed expression, "Should've phoned."

"That's right!" Yuzu huffed, trying to masquerade her sentimentality with a pretence of anger, "You big dummy!"

"Right."

'Ichi-chan…' Ranma mused as she watched the gentler side of Ichigo placating Yuzu with genuine admiration in her sapphire eyes, 'Heh, can't believe I almost wrote ya off as a jerk,' And she would have considered him an average bastard crawling around the mad woods of Nerima if she hadn't of chased him out of town.

Who knew being reckless and impulsive had its benefits, eh?

Unknown to Ranma, she was being observed by Isshin with a sincere smile of his own on his bearded face, 'Are ya watching, Masaki?' He asked internally, turning his head slightly to the side to the massive poster of his deceased wife, 'Our son's growing up before our eyes.'

With one last pat on her head, Ichigo gently pushed Yuzu out of his embrace. No words needed to be spoken between the two to know all was forgiven. Yuzu's eased expression told Ichigo all he needed to know.

"Hey, Ranma," He called abruptly, getting a small unnoticeable flinch from the redhead.

"Yeah, Ichi-chan?"

"I'll take your stuff upstairs," The tangerine-headed teen explained, "Come get changed when you're ready."

"That's cool," Ranma grinned, curling her knees up on the crouch to wrap her arms around them, swaying giddily, her smooth legs once again engrossing Ichigo, "But I'm fine wearing your shirt for now. It's comfy, y'know."

"Right…" Ichigo breathed out and his dreamy stare wasn't missed by his family members.

"Wow. Onii-sama really likes Ranma-chan." Ichigo flinched, his eyes widened.

"How riveting, eh, Ichi-nii?"

"You've done well capturing m'boy's heart m'dear," Isshin hugged Ranma, "Welcome to the family!"

"Shut up…" Ichigo groused, marching off upstairs, leaving everybody else smirking sassily in his direction.

XxX

(Elsewhere – Location Unknown)

When nightfall was upon her Nabiki wasted zero time rushing out of her former home and to the rendezvous point.

Even before the sun set had even began she already had her belongings packed, eagerly counting down the seconds, minutes, and hours until it came time to desert her family and her home to join her soon-to-be in his revelation to conquer the world for whatever reason she had yet to discover.

When given the choice between leave and stay in the asylum city, it wasn't exactly a difficult decision to make. She was going to pack her things and haul out of there as quickly and smoothly as possible, because that was how she operated.

Fact remained, she had nothing keeping her attached to Nerima. No deep relationships, or loyalties, no authentic empiric business, no debts, no nothing.

Not like she ever cared about her family let alone anybody else. She would sooner gamble their lives away on a whim just for the slightest of chances to cash in on a big one.

She actually did sell their freedom to the circus one time to pay back a debt and felt no two ways about it. Not even the slightest bit remorseful for using her quote-on-quote family as get-out-of-jail free cards to save her own carcass.

…She didn't even give them an apology when the whole ordeal was over despite the clear lack of comeuppance she never received. That in of itself should've made her feel obligated to apologize but it didn't.

So when it actually came to depart Nabiki exited the vicinity with a casual bidding as though she was simply stepping out to buy a soda from the shop.

Her father and Genma were immersed in their own despair over Ranma's own departure to take notice to her walking out of their lives and Akane was fretting over Ryoga's typical disappearance.

Only really Kasumi was left unpreoccupied to even attempt to pry into Nabiki's designated location but she smoothly lied her way passed her and carried on with her business, leaving the maiden none the wiser.

The rendezvous location was actually just her now former school, so she didn't have far to walk. Though when she actually reached the gates of Furinkan High School she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

Two 'people' – if she could even call them that - stood on either side in equal nonchalance. One looked so eerily pale she would be surprised if his ribs wasn't sticking out of his stomach underneath his white hakama, and the other one for his wild short crop of blue hair and most noticeably, the hole resting just below his six-pack.

Both humanoid creatures donned white masks, the former's on the left side of his head and the latter's attached on right side of his face in the weird but oddly fitting shape of a jaw.

"You the one?" The blue asked in a bored tone of dry interest, his jaw-shaped mask not even moving an inch despite his moving mouth. Nabiki found that unsettling, though masked her unease with a pretence of sly arrogance.

"If by one you mean you're new boss lady, then yes, yes I am the one good sir," Nabiki smiled.

"You got jokes," The humanoid swordsman replied, his ocean coloured orbs glinting with slight amusement.

"And you apparently have a good taste of humour," The mercenary quipped, one hand on the strap of her backpack as she moved gracefully over to her escorts.

"Thanks," He said gruffly, his blue eyes scanning Nabiki's form, from her slender-legs emphasized by a pair of green skinny jeans, to her curvaceous figure accentuated by a long blue jumper decorated by pink and yellow shapes, and lastly, to her crop of chocolate brown hair.

…He had to admit, his lord could pick them well.

"Grimmjow, by the way," He identified.

"Nabiki Tendo," She beamed, smirking saucily at the way Grimmjow eyed her, "Though I'm sure my Aizen-baby already told ya that."

"Yeah," Grimmjow confirmed, wide sneer curving across his lips, "Already calling him your 'baby,' huh? Boy, you must really want the 'D,' huh?"

"Oh, you read me sooo well," Nabiki shrugged, her cheeky grin eliciting a few snickers from Grimmjow. Turning her attention from one gate to the other, Nabiki regarded her other escort with the same confidence as she had addressed the first one with, "And you are, good sir?"

"Ulquiorra Cifer," He intoned lifelessly, eliciting a flinch from Nabiki. She didn't think anyone could sound so... dead in any country, even Japan.

"Ignore this guy," Grimmjow suggested with a thumb jerked in Ulquiorra's direction, his good mood decidedly ruined, "Unless you wanna be down in the dumps. He's about as emo as they come."

"Fool. I neither have the time nor the patience for such worthless human emotions."

"So you say."

Nabiki grinned with a predatory-esque sparkle glinting within her eyes, "Shall we get going boys?" She was going to have fun pitting them together.

"Sure," Grimmjow said, triggering Ulquiorra into action. With a simple wave of his hand, a black berth of space shaped in the form of a door materialized in front of Nabiki, whom eyed it with cool fascination.

"Teleportation?" Nabiki noted.

"Pretty much." Grimmjow said.

"This is known as the Garganta," Ulquiorra began to explain, "A spiritual pathway whom ties our domain - Hueco Mundo – to the other worlds, one of those being the one we're about to depart from."

"Interesting," Though Nabiki played it off as smoothly as she could, she still felt light headed learning other worlds existed outside of the one she and many humans currently resided in, the earth, "With such a convenient method of transportation, It's a wonder why Aizen-baby didn't come to pick me up himself."

"Lord Aizen informed us he had business to attend to."

"What kind of business?"

"…We were not privy to that information I'm afraid."

XxX

(Tendo Dojo)

"Another round, Kasumi," Genma all but demanded in a slur, slumped over the table opposite to his best friend, a red tinge decorating his face from the amount of booze he had accumulated.

"Father, Uncle Saotome," Kasumi frowned, leaning over the two men to refill their sake cups with said damaging but depression-drowning beverage, "Don't the two of you think you've had enough for one night?"

"No," Genma slurred, downing his sake in one sloppy, uncaring go, wiping off the spilled contents on his mouth with the back of his hand, "Fill her up!"

"Saotome's right, dear," Soun agreed as he downed his own portion quickly for a refill, "The amount of sake drank won't suffice to drown our depression over the lad's kidnapping."

"You're being awfully dramatic," The maiden remarked, refilling their sake cups for quite possibly the hundredth time, her tinge of worry increasing with every droplet splashed into the little cups.

"No!" Genma growled, swallowing down his portion of sake in one go once again, "That _monster_ came in and took away our life long work!"

"I'm going to have agree with Saotome here again, dear," Soun moaned dazedly, steading his head before consuming his own another round recklessly, "The lad toppled everything Saotome and I had been building up to!" Tears pooled in the long black-haired man's eyes.

"You're being awfully childish now," Kasumi chided, once again refilling their cups before rising it above her view to check its remaining contents with a frown. It was less than half, and this was their third bottle in an hour, "You make it sound as though Ichigo-kun broke in at night and illegally repossessed Ranma-chan's belongings like a common burglar whilst keeping her imprisoned in his home against her will."

"He might as well have!" Genma roared defensively, but his brief burst of anger and fifth cup of sake - from the current bottle - couldn't shallow his depression entirely as a few droplets of tears built up in the corners of his eyes, "He ruined everything!"

"How could the gods be so cruel!"

"Boyyyyyyyy!"

If Kasumi wasn't so polite she would've sighed in euphoric relief when a light trio of thuds echoed from the entrance of the dojo telling her a visitor had arrived just for the justified leeway to excuse herself from the moping men.

Gently putting down the bottle of sake, Kasumi stood with a beaming expression on her brightened face, "I'll get it!" And she vamoosed, leaving the drunken duo fighting over who got the last dosage of sake, 'I really hope this is either little sister or Ryoga-kun.' …Or, perhaps both.

That would be splendid

When she cracked open the door, she wasn't sure whether her prays were shattered or not by the form of a handsome man with wavy chocolate brown hair. Her heart fluttered and her eyes widened at his polite smile.

"Evening."

"Oh my."

"My apologies," He closed his beautiful orbs, his fringe dangling in between his eyes like the hand of a clock, "I had not meant to startle you with my presence," Sometimes being so handsome could often be considered a misfortune.

"Oh no!" Kasumi waved her hand to ward off any misinterpretations, "It was my mistake. You see, I was," She soon realized she never had a cover story, "Was… uh, expecting someone else." Or maybe she did.

"No, it's quite alright," The black robed clad man assured, filling the young woman before him with relief as she smiled, "I understand perfectly."

'He's so polite,' Kasumi's own chestnut eyes gleamed with subtle opportunity, 'And mature too,' She did always prefer mature men. They were so easy to engage in casual conversations with and always kept their financial security as their top priorities. Kasumi knew she could be safe in the arms of a man like that.

"Oh, how rude of me," He said, snapping Kasumi out of her dreamy trance, "I had almost forgotten introductions are in order," He cleared his throat gently, "My name is Aizen."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Kasumi gasped in realization, a hand held on her mouth, "I'm afraid I forgot too, sir."

"It's alright," Aizen really liked this woman. Not as much as her sister, but she was a definite okay in his book. Her warm nature and well-mannered mannerisms made it very easy to warm up to her.

Kasumi's kind smile renewed with vigour before she bowed, "My name is Kasumi Tendo, and welcome to the Tendo Dojo. I hope you find your temporarily respite in our residence to your liking."

"How very eloquently worded, Kasumi-san. I see you are a very articulate woman," Aizen noted, evoking a light tinge of pink to spread across Kasumi's cheeks.

"Thank you," The maiden breathed out with a noticeable touch of disbelief. No one had ever complimented her on her eloquence before after all. It felt so… encouraging to know she spoke smartly, "May I ask why is it you've come to visit us, Aizen-san?"

Aizen smiled, "Yes, if it's not too much I would like a word with your father, Tendo-san, if he happens to be in."

Kasumi blinked blankly, "Oh, sure. My father's in, but why would you need to speak with him?" She smiled, adding to reassure the kind man that she wasn't suspicious of his reasons, "If you don't mind me asking."

"Of course not," Aizen clarified, returning Kasumi's smile with his own, "You see, I've recently initiated a relationship with your sister, Nabiki Tendo."

And as simple as blowing out a candle, the hopeful light within Kasumi's eyes was diminished, "Oh, I see. So that's why little sister departed so unexpectedly with her belongings, to live with you."

"Yes."

"Oh dear."

"I can surmise she did not inform any of you of her plans to evacuate herself from your residence to integrate herself in mine?"

"Well, yes," Kasumi confirmed, blinking in confusion at Aizen's guess.

"I see. I'll speak with her when I return home after my business here is concluded," Aizen assured, eliciting a passive nod from Kasumi as the conversation petered out into awkward silence, "Uh." This felt embarrassing, "May I come in and speak with your father?"

"Oh my!" The maiden gasped, making room for her potentially future brother in law to saunter through, "How rude of me! Please, come right in," As Aizen sauntered through the door, Kasumi complimented him in an attempt to erase any awkwardness between them, "I thank you for coming to explain little sister's evacuation. You are quite the gentleman, Aizen-san."

"Please, complimentary isn't necessary. I believe I was doing what any other man in my position would've felt obligated to do," Aizen explained, trying to downplay the significance his own unforced visit to the Tendo Dojo had.

"I understand, but even still."

Aizen saved her the mental exertion and stress it would've taken her to explain her reasons for complimenting him by giving her a simple nod in understanding, "I understand also," He said, "I believe one day you'll make someone a very satisfied and adequate husband by becoming their wife, Kasumi-san."

"Thank you, Aizen-san," Kasumi whispered with sincerity, and after a few seconds passed by, she led them to her father's and Uncle's drinking place, "Right this way."

"Of course," Aizen accepted, following his brief momentary guide for the moment around the corner of the hallway and to his drunken targets, who were both stationed in the living room, which just so happens to be next to the garden. The wooden balcony was crafted quite beautifully in Aizen's humble opinion.

"Father, you have a guest," Kasumi called, trying to arouse Soun from his drunken slur slouched completely over the table; the bottle of booze tilted over with its remaining contents spilled all over the wooden surface.

"Ah…" Soun lifelessly let out what sounded like a sick love creation of a moan and a groan, waving his hand slothfully.

"Tell him to come back later!" Genma said impatiently, "He's probably some salesman anyway!"

Shaking her head, Kasumi whirled to Aizen, relieved to see he wasn't outward disgusted by the martial artists' pitiful states, "My apologies, Aizen-san, but you see my father and Uncle recently had an agreement which would see their schools united collapse, and, well…" She shifted awkwardly, "They're taking it hard."

"That's quite alright," Aizen assured with his typical smile, "Why don't you prepare them some tea while I talk with them?"

Kasumi nodded. She didn't know what it was, but she felt like she could trust Aizen to have a casual conversation with her father and Genma despite their drunken states. Maybe it was because he was polite and level-headed? After all she had seen how a slightly rude and ill-mannered individual had interacted with Genma, and those interactions rarely ended well.

"Okay! Then I'll be right back!" Kasumi sang cheerfully, eliciting a chuckle from Aizen.

After he watched her skip with her a merry spring in her step, he turned back to his actual targets and casually addressed them, "Gentlemen."

"Leave us alone!" Genma grouched.

"I'm sorry, lad," Soun said, since someone between them had to be the civil one, "But Saotome and I are in no proper state to chat with you now. Perhaps some other time."

Luckily, Aizen had just the card up his sleeve to get their attention in full, "Seems Ichigo Kurosaki did quite the number on you two," Why, the Ichigo card of course. It worked perfectly as Genma and Soun twirled their hands to Aizen with widened eyed expressions on their faces.

"How… did you know about that, sir?" Soun asked carefully.

"A little birdie told me," Aizen quipped, promptly causing Genma and Soun to exchange puzzled expressions at his vague answer, "But more importantly, what would the two of you say to the adequate power to exact your deserved revenge on Ichigo Kurosaki to claim what's rightfully yours?"

That just left them even more confused, but if god was really taking mercy on their poor souls and handing them the tools to pry Ranma from Ichigo's vile clutches then who were they to look a gift's horse in the mouth?

"Sign us up!"

XxX

(Ichigo's bedroom)

Cocked up on his bed with his right leg perched sideways on his raised left leg, Ichigo had his head buried in one of his favourite books and his ears covered by headphones, the poetic words he read and soothing music he listened to were both wrote and orchestrated by a man he very much admired, William Shakespeare.

He wasn't exactly sure when the respectful admiration started, but if he had to guess he would say it spouted sometime after his mom died. After many, many weeks of anguishing over his mother's murder, Ichigo realized he needed an outlet.

That was when he found Shakespeare; heard one of his songs in the ears of his father, who had passed out on the couch listening to the rhythmic song.

He had never heard something so majestic and peaceful in all his whole life. It soothed him and his tortured soul, put his mind at ease. For the first time since his mother's untimely death, he felt somewhat cleansed, as though she had materialized behind him to embrace him in a warm hug only a mother could give.

The fanciful nature of the song was almost otherworldly.

Since then he became a little obsessed with William Shakespeare's works, even going as far as to lounge around in the library at school to read the famous magician and author's books. The eloquently written sentences almost mesmerized Ichigo.

Even at nine years of age Ichigo could tell the man must have been very articulate.

He also figured if he dedicated himself to his works he could become half as intelligent as him.

He could make his mother proud of him.

"How long are you going to keep reading that?" Yoruichi asked, annoyingly breaking Ichigo out of his soothing immersion of poetic words and rhythmic music by gently removing one of the headphones from his ear.

"As long as it takes," Ichigo grouched, swiftly equipping his ear with its previous exited headpiece once again.

"As long as it takes to… what?" He could still hear Yoruichi's voice, though, through the majestic music, unfortunately enough.

"To forget you were ever here."

"Ow. So cold! You could freeze over the desert with quips like that."

"Not working!"

"I'm like your very own conscious, urging you on with all your hidden desires. Except I'm neither a little angel nor a devil."

"Gah."

Three rapid but still relatively light thuds echoed from his door, and Ichigo was sure his situation was about to go from bad to worse when the same light hearted voice he had left around fifteen minutes ago echoed.

"Hey, Ichi-chan! It's chow time!" He could hear the door clicking open, "I figured we could feed ea-." Then her voice just miraculously trailed off as if she had seen a ghost.

Stifling a yawn, Ichigo placed his book down on the cabinet beside him before knocking the headpieces from his ears, lifting himself up to see Ranma's frozen state of shock, even the plate she was holding wasn't moving an inch, "You okay, Ranma?"

'Odd. It's like she's a seen a ghost,' Yoruichi mused, noticing the way Ranma's frighteningly blank stare was fixated on her cat form, 'I wonder.' Wanting to test her theory out, Yoruichi raised a paw, though before she could even attempt to prod the girl out of her zombie-like state Ranma reacted.

"Wah!"

And how.

She hurled her bowl of Udon Noodles simmered in a miso broth forward, which just so happened to be Ichigo's direction at surprising speeds before falling back on her rear, her knees raised as she scooted back against the wall for security.

"What the fuck!?" Ichigo yelled, throwing himself and consequently taking his mp3 player and book with him to the ground to avoid a face full of noodles with a side of glass, hearing the violent sound of shattering glass erupt from his bed.

As he picked himself up with his patented scowl etched onto his face, he saw Ranma hugged against the wall with a terrified expression written all over her countenance, "Hey! Watch where you're throwing that thing, will y-?"

"Keep it away from me!" Ranma inserted desperately, an index finger jabbed in Yoruichi's direction.

Ichigo followed the trail her finger made to the black cat standing on all fours on his desk from her own evasive action to avoid being spattered, not seeing what was so frightening about her, "Eh?"

"I see," Fortunately, Yoruichi did, and her beliefs were only confirmed by the cringe she evoked from the red-haired girl by gently stepping forward, "She has a cat phobia."

Ichigo silently groaned, one hand on his hip as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He had a hunch who caused that…

"Right," He said with a dry gaze in his eyes, "Can ya give us a moment please?"

"Sure," Yoruichi said without argument. Never in her life had she ever received a reaction like that to her cat form. That superseded all her expectations.

This Ranma was already turning out to be very interesting.

When Yoruichi exited his room via his window, Ichigo gently made his approach on Ranma, kneeling beside her and lying a hand on her knee, trying to ignore the tingles just touching her gave his palm, "Hey, Ranma?"

"Is it gone?" Ranma asked, prying open her eyes with the security Ichigo's warmth gave her.

Ichigo's eyes softened, "Yeah."

Letting out a sigh of relief, Ranma lightly snuggled against Ichigo, eliciting a blush from him, "That's a relief."

Nodding his head slowly, Ichigo timidly wrapped his arms around Ranma's petite form, getting her to cuddle her head against his chest as though she could sense his shyness, "What happened to ya?"

"Gonna have to be clearer, pal," Ranma explained with a sleepy, content moan, making Ichigo groan internally. He was positive she was purposely playing ignorant just to make him nervous, because that was the kind of girl she was.

"I mean how did ya become so afraid of cats?" Ichigo clarified, silently wincing when Ranma's warm breath hit his bare neck in a sigh. Damn, even her sighing on him felt so arousing.

"My old man…"

Ichigo rolled his eyes, "How did I know?"

"Did ya forget?" Ranma beamed up at his grouchy face, batting her eyelashes at him, "You're the Mr Telepathy to my Mrs Telepathy."

"Righttttt. How could I forget?" Ichigo drawled out sarcastically, promptly getting Ranma to giggle, "Anyway, what sorta mad experimentation did your asshole old man cook up that installed this wacky cat fear in ya?"

"Cat fist."

"Come again?"

"It's a martial arts style," Ranma explained, elaborating further at Ichigo's pondering stare, "A dangerous one at that. I ain't even attempted to master it, not after my jerk of an old man rolled me up in tuna rolls, splashed olive oil over me, and tied me to the end of a branch above a pit full of angry cats for 'em to maw at me."

"What the fuck!?"

"And that ain't the worst of it either."

"It gets worst?" How could seasoning your own child up for a bunch of cats get any worse?

"Yep."

"How so?"

"I was only six when it happened."

Ichigo almost fell into a sheer _Hulk-like_ rage-induced state. What dumb bastard would put a child - let alone their own - through a dangerous - mentally scarring - procedure like that? Ichigo was surprised and mostly grateful that she had even survived that hellish training. The lord must have been on her side.

"Ichi-chan?" Ranma prodded, feeling Ichigo tightening his embrace on her, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I was just contemplating whether it's too late to head back to Nerima and bury that stupid asshole six-feet under."

"Malevolent thoughts are all well and good y'know, but ya could think 'em without squeezing the life out of me?"

Now aware how tightly he was holding Ranma, Ichigo panicked, instinctively letting her go with his blush darkening, "Right. Sorry!"

Wrapping her arms around the back of her knees, Ranma smiled affectionately up at Ichigo, "You idiot. I didn't say you had to stop, just not to hold me so tightly."

"Right," Gulping a lump down his throat, Ichigo slowly slithered his arms around Ranma's form again, mindful not to squeeze. With a content purr, Ranma snuggled against his shoulder, gently nestling her head on his elbow and closing her eyes.

"Much better," Ranma murmured, though in their close proximity Ichigo heard her as clear as day, "Thanks for caring, Ichi-chan."

"Eh?"

"You were so angry hearing what my raggedy-ass pops put me through," Ranma elucidated, "That really means something to me, y'know?"

"Oh that," Ichigo said, trying to play it off like it was nothing but it was clear to anyone with half a brain that his nerves still hadn't steeled, "Guess I was only reacting like a uh, boyfriend would, huh?"

"That's right!"~ Ranma chirped, though her jesting tone ironically didn't give Ichigo the belief she took him seriously, "You're the number one fella on the block!"

"Right..." He sighed sadly.

"Ichi-chan?" Ranma questioned, coming off of his shoulder to look at him with concern in her sapphire eyes, "What's up?"

"Oh. It's uh..." He was going to say it was nothing and temporarily push his problems in the closet until he figured if he didn't confront the problem now while he had the chance he probably wouldn't in a lifetime. Not to mention it would keep bugging him until the end of time, "Hey, Ranma."

Ranma blinked, "S'up?"

"Are we... uh?" He blushed.

"Are we what?" She asked, though Ranma was a quick-witted girl and knew exactly what he wanted to ask. She saved him the trouble of asking with a comforting smile, "Going out?"

Ichigo almost cringed. How the hell could she say that so easy? "Yeah?"

"Dunno!" Ichigo's breathing deepened. She didn't know. Oh crap, "Do ya want to go out?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"You guess?"

Ichigo flinched. Now where did he already hear this from?

"Okay, I do," He whispered.

"Then we are!~" Ranma sang, promptly causing Ichigo to blink bizarrely at the ease of which the red-head clarified they were coupled up.

"Uh, just like that?" He asked, a sheepish grin curving across his lips.

Ranma nodded, "Sure thing! I don't see why not. Unless," Pondering briefly with an index finger placed on her chin, Ranma intertwined her hands with Ichigo's, increasing his heartbeat ten-folds, "You were expecting a more drawn out tense moment of contemplation that could end with a mooch?"

"Yeah, I... uh, kinda was," Ichigo admitted with a shaky grin.

"Well at least you're honest about it!" Ranma giggled, promptly engrossing Ichigo with a wide stare of euphoria, "Who said we can't though?"

Ichigo flinched, "No way! You really mean it?"

Lightly removing one of her hands from Ichigo's, Ranma cupped his cheek, easing his nerves as her eyes lowered with lust, "Sure thing," She whispered, slowly inching her head closer to Ichigo's whom was in a blissful dream state of euphoric relief. Her sapphire eyes were reassuring, her touch was soothing, and her breath was warm, keeping his stare fixated her pouty lips, moist to perfection by her own saliva. All these enticing features about her acted as a perfect magnet to pull him toward her.

"Ranma..."

"That's right..." Ichigo raised an eyebrow at the sound of an anticipated whisper, moving his head away from Ranma's very much puckered out lips to find his family by his bedroom's door watching his moment with Ranma with blushes on their faces, "Just a little more..." Isshin said, breathing hollowly.

"What the hell!?" Ichigo yelled, causing Ranma to open her eyes with a sigh of disappointment.

"Great. Now he ain't gonna do it anymore," Karin face palmed herself.

"Uh-oh! Don't mind us, onii-sama. Just go back to kissing Ranma-chan!" Yuzu sheepishly assured, trying to maintain a level of optimism as she waved her hand. She wasn't left anymore encouraged by the dry stare of annoyance she received from her older brother.

"Don't waste your breath, Yuzu. He ain't gonna," Karin stated, crossing her arms.

"Damn right I'm not!"

"See what I mean?"

"Gah!" Ichigo pulled at his hair, "What the hell are you guys doing here anyway!?"

"Oh, we heard the commotion and rushed up upstairs to see what caused it," Yuzu started to explain.

"And..."

"We only got to the part where you and Ranma were immersed in your romantic moment," Isshin took over the mantle, a goofy smile on his face.

"And it didn't occur to you to scram when we were both to kiss... why?"

"Nope!"

Practically flying over to his old man, Ichigo drove a haymaker of a punch into his face, sending him pin-balling off of one wall and to the stairs where he rolled down in a very comical fashion. Huffing deeply, Ichigo looked down at his sisters, the yang one sporting a hopeful look and the yin one already looking disinterested as she always did.

"So I guess there's no chance of you and Ranma-chan kissing, huh onii-sama?" Yuzu asked, beaming as innocently as she could. Ichigo deadpanned, gently turning his sisters around and easing them away before backing into his room, "Guess that's a no?" The closing of Ichigo's door was the only answer she received, "Aw."

"What a show, eh?" Ranma joked, trying to lighten the mood while swaying from side to side with her embraced around her knees.

"My ass!"

"Looks nice."

"What!" Ichigo instinctively covered his behind, looking somewhat appalled at the redhead who batted her eyelashes innocently at him, "Damn it! Be serious!"

"It ain't my fault you decided to bring your ass into the conversation, pal. I was just being honest."

"You know what I meant, and know I didn't mean it like that!" Ichigo roared, ready pull out all of his hair, "Gah! Can't I even get an ounce of privacy around this place for five damned minutes!"

"Chillax Ichi-chan," Ranma insisted, gracefully picking herself up and spreading her arms out wide in a childlike fashion, "You're in high school, right?"

" _Was_."

"Right. Once ya relocate you'll be back in high school for another two years."

"Three years."

"Three years?"

"Yeah."

"Wait. How old are ya?"

"Fifteen."

"Really?" Ichigo nodded and Ranma whistled, "Oh boy! You really are tall! I'm sixteen, but you dwarf both my forms in height!" She doubled over in laughter, unintentionally annoying Ichigo, "Man! You really are a freak!"

"Oh screw you!" He marched out of his room.

"Aw, c'mon Ichi-chan! I was only pulling your leg!" She chased after him, "Don't cha even wanna hear what I had to say? I was going to say since you're in high school we would only have a couple more years till we're free to move out and get our own apartment! You being the stay at home dad, and me being the kickass breadwinner mom."

"Lalalala! Not listening anymore."

"Then why did ya respond?"

"..."

"Thought so."

"Damn it!"

Cocked up beside the wall on the balcony of Ichigo's bedroom outside of the Kurosaki's clinic was a curvaceous dark-skinned woman with an impressive bust wearing a long-sleeved bright orange V-neck top with the sleeves rolled up, which was over a black long-sleeved jumper that accentuated a pair of tight black pants that also emphasized her curves, long, shapely legs, and bubbly butt. Lastly, a pair of white boots were on her feet. Her purple hair was delicately styled up in a neat ponytail and just like the black cat she possessed two distinctive golden silts.

"Hahaha! I'm going to like this one!" She roared with laughter, happily listening in to Ranma's teasing of Ichigo.


	7. Comeuppance a Coming

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Ranma 1/2**

 _There will be Frost_

Where's my frost?

Where's my FROST?

Also, there's this truly amazing parody series by the name of Assassination Classroom, brought to my attention by Death of Snipers. The characterization's brilliant, the development's solid, and the jokes makes sense. I highly recommend you check that out while I look for my damned FROST.

I WILL MY FROST!

* * *

BLEACH

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 **X**

Ranma 1/2

* * *

"So, lemme see if I've got this," The redhead requested, sat on her knees on Ichigo's bed, her newly legitimatized boyfriend seated behind her; a fist situated on his cheek to angle his attention to a book in a bid to give off the impression he wasn't at all annoyed at the dark-skinned woman's teasing expression. No, not at all.

"Go on," Yoruichi insisted, leaning casually up against Ichigo's bedroom wall, delightfully observing the contrasting expressions of one of her most talented disciples and his girlfriend, especially the redhead's. The blank look on her face as she tried to make heads or tails out of her and her untimely appearance with a pointed index finger at her was really quite adorable.

"So your Ichi-chan's sensei?"

Ichi-chan, huh? That had a really adorable ring to it.

" _One_ of the 'em." Ichigo strongly interjected, partly because he had clarified she was to Ranma's friends, but mostly to avoid Yoruichi needling him about Ranma's endearing nickname for him.

He could already see the mischievous expression within her eyes out of the corner of his, that Cheshire cat.

"Oh alright," Who was or were the other ones, because Ranma would really like to know, "You were that... uh, cat from earlier, right?"

"Right."

"Anddddd, you're here too, meet me I guess?"

"Partly that," Yoruichi began to elaborate, pushing herself from the wall and flexing her arms outward in a sly fashion, "Partly to needle my little protégé about having such a good looking girlfriend."

"Oh fuck you!"

"Love you too."

"Why, thank you," Ranma remarked on the compliment on her looks, slyly ignoring Ichigo's annoyance as she puffed up her chest.

"You're welcome," Yoruichi returned, "But mostly to see if ya have what it takes to come under my wing."

For what could have been considered the equivalent of eternity for Ranma was really only seconds as she stared blankly at the playful vixen, as though she was ensuing what she heard wasn't some cruel joke on her love for the arts.

Ichigo also stared, but after thinking it over, he decided this was obviously a blessing in disguise. Seriously, with Yoruichi offering to copy her vast prowess and wisdom into Ranma, the redhead will completely forget about coming a shinigami.

Damn! The more Ichigo thought about Ranma becoming Yoruichi's potentially truer disciple – than him – the more he felt like an idiot.

Going by their mini scrap that led to their strange relationship blossoming, Ranma specialized in two categories, speed and hand-to-hand combat, exactly like who? Yep, Ichigo's on and off brain guessed it. Yoruichi!

Damn it. It was so obvious.

Why didn't he think to ask Yoruichi to train Ranma on the train? No pun intended.

…Oh, yeah. He was too embarrassed to talk about her in front of one of his teachers.

Curse his under confidence in interacting with the opposite sex. Curse it to hell!

"Come again?" Ranma asked to be pinched to be absolutely sure she wasn't dreaming.

Yoruichi obviously sussed out that Ranma loved every aspect about the arts by the silent hope in her sapphire eyes, "I see someone loves their martial arts," She teased, eliciting a sheepish grin from the redhead.

"Gee. Was I that obvious?" She asked, rubbing the back of her head.

"Oh, only about as obvious as a kid jumping for joy at the once of a lifetime chance to go to Disney land."

"Darn, that obvious, huh?"

"Yep."

"But you're offering to train me, right?"

"Yep."

"Alright!~" In her own over joy, Ranma turned around and pressed herself up against Ichigo, swinging her arms around his neck as she nestled his reddened cheek happily.

As Yoruichi's playful smirk heightened at the position Ichigo found him in, her once-upon-a-time disciple found himself caught between two minds, either glare at the purple-haired cat or blush in embarrassment as Ranma's energetic snuggling tingled him all over.

He decided doing both was better than nothing. He even took it one step further by wrapping his arms around Ranma's petite form.

"So adorable," Yoruichi complimented in a whisper, fuelling Ichigo's glare.

As he looked at her in annoyance, he mouthed the words "screw you," which turned out to be futile seeing as it only encouraged her to grin wider.

"But wait," Ranma said, half-heartedly loosening herself from Ichigo's embrace to look upon Yoruichi blankly, "Why would ya want to train me? Not that I'm not grateful for the opportunity to grow stronger and pick up new techniques. Just curious."

"Two reasons," Yoruichi first began to lay out her explanation to the redhead with a peace sign to signify the two points she wanted to get across, "Firstly, after seeing my friend Kisuke chewing the ears of your old 'friends' off about coming here to start shit for ya it occurred to me upon close inspection of their gear that they specialized in hand-to-hand combat."

"Friends? Kisuke?" Question marks of confusion danced over Ranma's strawberry-haired crown.

"Oh yeah," Ichigo said in recognition, cupping his forehead with his index finger and thumb in annoyance that such a thing that was easy to remember slipped past his memory, "Remember when I said those pricks from your old town showed up at my school and caused it to collapse?"

"How could I forget?" Ranma snickered, "You were so grumpy!"

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Whatever!" He wasn't getting into this, not with _her_ needling him every chance she got.

"Meaning I win," Ranma smirked, happily resting her head against Ichigo's shoulder, who deadpanned, trying to pretend Yoruichi weren't there with a grin that practically said, 'I'm enjoying every minute of this.'

"Anyway," Deep breath, "My other teacher took 'em off of my hands, out right wasted that perverted midget old man-."

"Wait," Ranma had to interrupt, cleaning out her ears to be absolutely sure she heard correct, "The old freak's actually gone." The biggest douchebag nuisance and one of the strongest martial artists to ever (unfortunately) reside in Nerima had actually been murdered?

That definitely warranted a massive O.M.G. As far as she knew, he was nigh unkillable. He seemed almost indestructible in their bouts, never truly taking any significant damage that didn't automatically heal in seconds despite the number of explosive bombs reflected back at him. Hell, if it weren't for his one weakness caused by his own stupidity he could've easily had his way with Ranma and all the Nerima girls a hundred times over.

The fact that someone could put him of all the assholes to the sword spoke volumes for that person's strength. He had to be frighteningly strong in Ranma's mind to accomplish such a feat.

"Yeah. Mr Urahara fucked him up bad, according to Ukyo."

"Well good riddance to a bad egg then."

"My sentiments exactly."

"Feels weird, me saying that after someone kicking the bucket that is," Ranma admitted, elaborating further, "I'd normally would feel bad if that happened to anyone, but with the old freak…"

"Yeah, I get what you mean." Happosai was someone you _wanted_ dead with how much of a childish annoyance he was, and at his age too? Yeah, that was a lost cause if there ever was one.

Happosai was once living-breathing proof that the old saying **You can't teach an old dog new tricks** was as true as the grass being green and the sky being blue.

"Also," Ranma smiled, swiftly shifting the subject as she gave Ichigo a pointed glance, "Ukyo?"

"What about her?"

"Just Ukyo?" As in 'you're referring to someone from the established "crazy town" in a friendly manner, "No jerk in front of that."

"Na, she's cool," Ichigo explained nonchalantly, dipping into his pocket to pull out his cell phone, pointing an index finger at the screen with the other, "She even gave me her number, so…" Probably should have worded the beginning of that better.

"Oh, so ya got her number now, have ya?" …To avoid a misconception happening.

Feeling himself being backed into a corner, Ichigo backed away slightly from his girlfriend to flail his arms defensively, "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Slow down! It ain't like that!"

Ranma tilted her head skeptically, situating her palms on her hips, "Really?"

In his desperation, Ichigo shifted the burden of claim to the worst possible alibi there, "Tell her, Yoruichi!" _Tell her, Yoruichi_? Sheesh, he must have been desperate.

"Yep, he got her number alright."

"Sheesh, could ya word that anymore suspiciously?"

"So ya did get her number," Ranma said with an unhidden smirk, "What, were ya planning to two-time me with an old friend of mine, pal?"

"What? No!" Ichigo denied any such dishonourable accusations. Such a concept was going completely against the established character he had grown into.

"Then what, huh?" Ranma challenged, shaking her head from side to side in a daring fashion, "Did ya think ya could skirt us both along like a pimp?"

"Hell no!"

"Sounds like someone wants to build his own harem," Yoruichi interjected, really wishing she had some popcorn now.

"I ain't a fucking sleaze!"

"Then why did ya get her number?" Ranma asked, aware that the volume in Ichigo's room was rising to dangerous levels of alert now. The twins were already fast asleep, but Isshin was still camping downstairs watching late night TV.

"So you two could hang out sometime," Ichigo grouched with an exaggerated inhale.

"Ohhhhhh."

"You were screwing with me, weren't ya?"

"No, how did ya know?" Ranma smiled sarcastically, prompting a round of hearty laughter from their spectator.

"Hahahaha! I can totally see why you picked this one, little Ichigo," Yoruichi teased.

Sure, she tended to embarrass him now and then, but their relationship was still new and fresh. As they both mature and grow older together over the upcoming years, Ichigo would naturally learn to respond to her wisecracks in his usual manner of disinterest.

Though Yoruichi suspected that Ichigo secretly liked the fact that she could bring him out of his comfort zone; interact him in a way no one else had. Although Ichigo was a good kid when Yoruichi first met him, he tended to keep to himself.

Not to say he was anti-social, but he wouldn't come out of his shell the way he was slowly but surely coming out of it with Ranma with anyone else.

And for that reason he fell for her enough to initiate a relationship with her, if one were to get Yoruichi's opinion on the matter.

"Yeah, she's great," Ichigo replied, nonchalant in his expression until the last part of Yoruichi's sentence hit him, "Who're ya calling litt-."

"Aw, you're so sweet!" Ranma interrupted before Ichigo could finish his warning to his old teacher, snuggling happily against his cheek.

"Weren't you gonna say something?" Yoruichi cat nabbed the opportunity to rub it in, giving her ear to Ichigo as if to say, 'I'm all ears.'

"Forget about it."

"So about this training thing?" Ranma asked, sliding her hands from Ichigo's neck to his chest, half turning to Yoruichi, who flexed a sly grin at their intimate position.

"Oh, are we still on that subject?" She asked, prompting Ranma to stick out her tongue in a sheepish manner.

"Yeah, we derailed from it quite a bit. I got ya."

"Quite a bit."

"Okay, a lot. Can we just get back to it now, please?"

"Sure," Yoruichi really liked Ranma. Not only was she entertaining without being a clown, she wasn't easily susceptible to her usual tricks Ichigo, Soi Fon and a lot of others had fallen for, "Summarizing, you and I fight more or less in the same way. Bare-handed."

"Right. Diving into the thick of the action to dirty our hands."

"No shits given."

"You can say that again."

Yoruichi smirked.

It was almost like she was interacting with her younger self.

"Man, I'm such an idiot," Ichigo mumbled, more to himself than them, but since they were in close proximity, they easily heard and wondered why.

"How come, Ichi-chan?" Ranma asked, voicing hers and Yoruichi's question.

"I should've thought about this earlier," He said, "In terms of fighting you're like a second Yoruichi."

Ichigo didn't mean for his statement to come off as a backhanded compliment to Ranma's skill, but unfortunately the redhead's ego took it that way regardless of his intentions, "Gee. Thanks for the vote of confidence," Did he really have so little faith in her abilities that he would just write her off as someone else's inferior?

"Hey, that don't take it the wrong way or anything. She may look young, but in reality s-." Ouch. That was definitely the thoughtless fact to try and get across, and fortunately – or unfortunately, depending on how one wanted to look at it – he wouldn't going by his swiftly cut off air-circulation, "Grgh," He wheezed, grasping his throat, "My th-."

"Ichi," Ranma said in concern.

"This seems like the right time for you to put a lid on that chatter box of yours, right Ichigo?" Ranma visibly flinched, not so much at the dark tone emanating from Yoruichi's lips, but at the distance she heard it from. Turning her head, Ranma found Yoruichi beside Ichigo's bed, flexing a devilishly angry sneer on her face.

'Man, these shinigamis are fast as hell,' The sound of something thudding off of an object brought her attention back to her boyfriend, who now had his head slumped over his cabinet, "Ichi-chan," She checked to make sure he was still breathing, nudging his shoulder lightly, "I know this might be a bad time to say, but you got knocked the heck out pal."

"Don't worry about your boyfriend," Yoruichi insisted, dusting her elbow off, "I only took the liberty of helping him get to sleep. That oughta save him the trouble."

"Well thank heck for that!" Because she _really_ would not look forward to the prospect of explaining how Ichigo died in his own bedroom to the others, "Uh, remind me not to screw with you, Yoruichi."

"Gladly."

"Man, you gotta teach me how you and Ichi do that speed blitz thingy. It's so awesome!"

Speed blitz thingy. That was a cute name for one of the most renown shinigami techniques ever created by her, "In time dear," Yoruichi promised, Ranma's positive, sunny attitude rubbing off on her, "I think it's about time I take my leave and let you two rest for the night."

As if to cement Yoruichi's decision to bow out for the night the redhead yawned, "Yeah, it's getting late."

Humming in agreement, Yoruichi sauntered off to the window, propping it open with one hand. With one leg on the side of the window sill, she turned to the girl with a predatory smirk on her lips, "I'll leave you to undress your boy toy, little strawberry," She got her desired reaction out of the strawberry head as the colour of Ranma's face now resembled her hair, "Chow."

And like the wind, she was gone, fanning out Ranma's fiery flame in the process.

"Jerk," Though there was still some remnants left over, "Let's get ya into bed, Ichi-chan," With a sigh, she unfurled her knees, and straightened Ichigo out, getting light tingles in the process of straightening out his legs.

"Whew," She breathed out, now on her feet as she wiped the invisible sweat from her brow, "There we go, nice and comfy, eh Ichi-chan?" She didn't mean to, but as her eyes trailed up from Ichigo's limps, up to his usual grouchy, but oddly serene visage she was caught in a trance, silently admiring his peaceful face, "He looks so peaceful when he sleeps."

Ranma's lowered her sapphire eyes to Ichigo's belt, "Maybe undressing Ichi-chan won't be so bad," What could be the harm right? At least that was Ranma's thought process during her attempt to reach out for Ichigo's hips.

It was almost like she was moving them toward hot coal at the snail pace they were going, and even when she did reach Ichigo's sides, she quickly pulled her hands away as though she had been burned, fixing her palms against her blushing cheeks.

"Golly," Well that was easier said than done, "Maybe I'll just tuck him in with a peck on the cheek and call it a night," She shrugged, sliding her hands from her cheeks, "Guess I'll do that." It just occurred to her that the hands on her cheeks position she was just in was pretty girly, "Man, I've been acting pretty girly of late."

Oddly enough, it felt pretty natural. Almost like she weren't trying to be feminine. It felt strange to think about it. Back in the Tendo Dojo, she tried her damnest to keep that masculine image her old man had installed in her, but here being feminine came as natural as snapping her fingers.

"Meh, I'll sit on that later," Hopefully much later, because thinking deeply about anything that didn't involve martial arts and improving her physical abilities was a pain in the backside to Ranma.

Using one arm, she scooped up Ichigo's legs while using the other to lift up his nondescript blanket, dropping his legs down on the mattress with a beaming smile, "Nighty-night, Ichi-chan," She rhymed, tucking him in and laying a peck on his cheek, "See ya tomorrow, where it'll be my turn to get stronger and protect you for once."

She may have played the role of Akane to his male Ranma tonight in playing ignorant to the reason of why he picked up Ukyo's number, but that didn't mean she was content to be a hopeless damsel, and now she had the chance to become stronger with the opportunity to become Yoruichi's disciple.

Though there was one thing that was still bugging her, and it lied in Yoruichi's half completed explanation for why she was offering to take Ranma under her wing.

"Wonder what was Yoruichi's other reason for training me."

Meh, probably nothing.

 _Chapter Seven_

XxX

(Elsewhere – Urahara Shop)

"I see. So Happy's finally been put to the sword," An elderly croaky voice was heard through the phone held on Kisuke's ear. It wasn't sad nor happy, but calm acceptance; something that could only be gained from years of experience.

"Yes," Kisuke said, leg-crossed as though he was still in school at the foot of the cabinet housing his store's living room phone, "Thought you should know, Grandma Cologne."

Despite his best attempts to masquerade his guilt over ending the life of the friend of the first woman to tend to him and his rogue companions in the living world, Cologne was still able to sense it, "Do not fret, son. Happy was an old fool who seemed incapable of change. Even after years of life he remained stagnant. If I were to say he advanced any, then it would be more of an annoyance."

"Sure you're not exaggerating? I don't believe anyone could be inherently bad."

"Oh, trust me Kisuke. You do not know, Happy. Even as a child, he was a miscreant, pulling the same old tired and failed malicious pranks. We once had to chase him out of town." A sigh was heard before what Kisuke could guess was a shake of the head going by the jiggling of beads, "Really, I regret to say it, but he had long since passed his expiry past. I'm as sure of that as I am of myself being over three hundred years old."

"Oh, well I know you're not sure!" Kisuke beamed, fan flipped out in front of his cheerful visage, "Because there's no way a spring chicken like you could be three hundred years old, more like a hundred if that!"

He was filled with a warm sense of accomplishment hearing the elder laugh heartily, "Always the charmer, eh?"

"Well, you know me," Kisuke returned with a soft smile on his face.

"Oh, I do, sonny," Cologne said, her voice oozing mirth, "So, how have you been?"

And as easy as reciting the alphabet, Happosai was discarded as a mere thing of the past. Kisuke could sleep easy knowing he had informed Cologne of Happosai's brutal removal of the world. Her village had always been good to him and his fellow rogue companions, helping them stand on their feet.

Happosai was only pardoned from death the last time he had visited Karakura Town in Masaki's youth as a favour to her.

"Been good," Kisuke said.

"And what of Yoruichi and Tessai?" She further inquired, "How have they been?"

"Same."

"I see," She said, and Kisuke could hear her sipping on a drink beside her, "I'm surprised you and Yoruichi haven't initiated a relationship in all these years the two of you have known each other."

"I like to, I assure you," Kisuke said, caressing the back of his head as a cheeky smile overtook his features, "But I'm afraid it's not that simple as you know. We've been like siblings," The mischief was clear in his voice, "So I'm afraid if I were to act on my instincts it would be considered incest."

"And incest is not frowned upon among us Amazonians."

"Really?!"

"Indeed."

"Then I'll have to remember to note that for later," Kisuke joked, drawing another round of hearty chuckles from the elderly woman over the line.

"I'll have to pay a visit to Karakura. It has been too long if I'm laughing like an old fool from one of your jokes," Cologne stated.

"It has," Kisuke validated with a soft smile, not offended in the least by the hidden implication in his surrogate grandmother's statement.

"Besides, my great granddaughter has found herself a new airen now, one who lives in Karakura," She explained, "Really, if there was a better time to visit Karakura then I must have been in inhabitation. Now I have all the justifications to do so."

Kisuke focused in on the mention of Cologne's granddaughter, figuring he could tie it to Mousse's declaration of a person by the most likely Amazonian alias of Shampoo, "Great granddaughter? Would she happen to go by the alias Shampoo by any chance?"

"Yes," Cologne said, "I can assume you have had an introduction with my Shampoo, correct?"

"Not officially," Kisuke began to specify, "But I met an admirer of hers earlier."

Cologne sighed in realization, "Ah. That would be a Mousse." She identified, "Truthfully, that boy's absolutely worthless. Stupid, stubborn and incapable of learning from his mistakes. Honestly, the only reason I had kept him around was to offer a rival for Shampoo's hand to another interest of hers. I had hoped him showering Shampoo with affection would evoke some sort of jealously out of Ranma, but the fool was far too shameless and tenacious in his efforts to woo her. Ranma never fell for it."

"Ranma?" Kisuke questioned with a stroke of his five O' clock shadow, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Yes, what of him?"

As he expected, she identified Ranma as a male. Whether the one she was referring to specifically was the same one Kisuke knew his young disciple was enamoured with was for him to find out, but only further questioning could get him the answer, "Excuse me, Grandma, but do you know more people with the name Ranma?"

"No, just the one sonny," Cologne answered, "Are you saying you've met the boy?"

"No, not in person, but a kid I trained is in a relationship with Ranma, and he doesn't refer to her as a male in any way," Kisuke explained, "Could you clarify?"

"Ranma has a Jusenkyo curse that allows him to access the body of a female," Cologne explained, clearing up the clouds of Kisuke's confusion.

He had been aware of that mythical location even before he was exiled from the Soul Society. It always fascinated him, the ability of transforming into another species entirely from a human, an insect or animal of any kind just by jumping into a pond.

The victims wasn't trapped in their new forms either, nor did they lose them when they regressed back to themselves, but rather they could switch between the two with a selection of hot or cold waters, which only enhanced Kisuke's interest in the place because it lessened the risk.

"I see."

"Although it appears Ranma would very much like to stay as a girl now."

"Any ideas why that is?" Kisuke was a smart man. He had a rough idea of his own entailing Ranma's preference of being a girl despite it only being a curse she received sometime in her life, but Cologne was older. It was proper courtesy to let the elders go first after all.

Cologne hummed, "I suspect the child always wanted to be a girl, but never had the courage to be who she desires to be in fear of how others around her would view her for it. To accommodate the norm of expectation, she would act excessively masculine in her male form to the point it was laughably obvious that it was a false image."

Kisuke could believe that. Wannabes putting on fronts to fool others into thinking they were something supposedly better than their real selves wasn't uncommon even in the Soul Society, much less the living world, especially teenagers like Ranma. People, particularly teens, were insecure and prone to the judgmental view of others.

"I have to assume she felt free to drop the act and just be who she wants once distancing herself from the repression of her real mentality," Kisuke theorized.

"Ranma wasn't a difficult child to subjugate despite her stubborn nature," Cologne explained, adding weight to Kisuke's theory, "Most of her now former fiancées I assume were the most noticeable ones to repress her, though I suspect her father also had a hand in that. His concept of masculinity is quite overbearing," She sighed, "Regardless of her reasons, it seems Ranma is quite happy with your disciple."

"I'll probably have my answer tomorrow if she accepts Yoruichi training offer!" Kisuke explained gleefully.

"Oh, she'll take Yoruichi up on that one. The child lives and breathes martial arts."

"Splendid!" Kisuke said, resting the phone between his shoulder and ear to clap his hands, "We going to need that sort of mentality with what'll be happening near the end of the year, I'm assuming."

Cologne could hear the sharp change of tone in Kisuke'svoice and knew the time for cordiality was over, "I assume 'he' who framed you has finally starting to make a move after all these years."

"Yes," Kisuke said, only to specify, "Actually, he already has."

"I see."

"Kisuke!"

It was at that moment Yoruichi fazed into view, obviously sensing the serious aura around the room if her own impassive expression was any indication.

Good. They had a lot debriefing and planning to go over, and he really didn't feel like saying it again.

XxX

(Seireitei – Four Division)

XxX

"I'm back," A delicate sigh was the first thing to come through the eerie silent barracks of the fourth division before the Big Mother herself stepped through gracefully, almost prompting Ryoga to sigh himself.

Miraculously, he resisted the needy temptation through an unlikely round of fortune.

Since essentially friend-zoning the shy shinigami, the once friendly conversation between the potential kindled spirits had frozen over, with neither two having the confidence to break the ice.

So one sat while the stood in an awkward silence and waited/prayed for Unohana's return to save them from their misery.

"Captain-Unohana?" Isane uttered, almost like she was surprised to see her, "What did the Head Captain say about…?" She paused, gingerly exchanging a glance with Ryoga before continuing on in a lower voice as if he really couldn't hear her, "Did he approve?"

"Approve of what?" Ryoga asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Yes, he did," Unohana first answered her most prominently featured disciple and second in command just out of principle, annoying Ryoga. If these shinigamis weren't so disgustingly powerful, he might have raised his voice. As it stood, he could do little more but to close his eyes and tense up his face.

"Can someone explain to me what the hell is going on here?" Ryoga inadvertently demanded, eliciting a small gasp of surprise from Isane. True, she didn't know him all that well, but in the short time she had interacted with the guy, she came to the conclusion he wasn't the sort to resort to using curse words, even extremely minor ones like hell.

Or maybe it just her distaste of curse words overall that made her fidgety to the utterance of any.

"I understand your frustration of being kept in the dark young man," Unohana started to reason, seeing things from Ryoga's point of view to coax his temper, "But I'm afraid I'm going to have to advise you to cease from using all such words of profanity," She asserted in her usual pleasant but oddly fearful fashion, "Profanity is prohibited here in the Fourth Division."

"Sorry, madam," Ryoga apologized, not wanting to get on Unohana's bad side.

"I'll forgive the mistake this time because you're new here, but if you do so a second time after failing to heed this warning you may be in line to face severe repercussions."

"Got it," The bandana-clad teen said immediately, too immediately if his vanishing expression was any indication, "Wait. New here?"

Nodding lightly with a hum, Unohana went to clear up any confusion Ryoga may have had, "Yes. The Head Captain has given you sufficient leeway to be trained by me in the arts of the shinigami to a small degree."

"Oh, okay," He didn't mean to sound underwhelmed but he kind of was.

Unohana clearly sensed that in his unenthusiastic tone, "You don't sound very pleased about that," She graced him with a comforting smile that reminded the lost warrior of the Tendo Dojo maiden, "If it's not personal, would you mind informing me why that is, Ryoga-kun?"

"Not at all," He answered, her motherly smile working miracles on him, "It's just… Uh."

"Would it be easier if I explained my reasons for training you?" Unohana asked, offering to lift some of the burden of explanation off of Ryoga's shoulders upon seeing him rub the back of his head unsurely.

"Yeah, it would," Ryoga answered with a touch of embarrassment, his hand slipping from the back of his head.

"Very well," Unohana nodded, "During our earlier conversation, I recall you informing me of your uncanny ability to materialize in any given location, correct?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Ryoga asked, wondering where she was going with this as he crossed his arms and legs.

"I believe I can help you locate the heart of the matter and master it."

The radiation of hope that lit up Ryoga's eyes could've gone on to blind the two maidens and lit up the entirety of the Soul Society with its brightness, "Really, you can do that?" She'd better not be screwing with him.

Besides finding out way to rid himself of his curse, figuring out a way to cure himself of his directional curse was another life-long must-fulfill quest of his.

He had dreams of the day he would be cured of both, but had never come anywhere further to achieving those dreams other than taking a single step forward, which came in the form of a convenient magical artefact that turned out to be nothing but a red-herring by the end of the day.

The old "One step forward, two steps back" slogan was one Ryoga was all too similar with.

"Yes," Unohana confirmed, and Ryoga was all but ready to blow up the Seireitei with his excitement, "But I'll need to train you in order to teach you control."

"Oh yeah, of course!" Now, he was on board. Originally, his feet were very much on the ground about getting offered a training program. Sure, he was a martial artist, and had inadvertently dedicated an absurd portion of his life to it, but that was only because he had an incentive to; to pummel Ranma – the once bane of his existence.

Even the reason for acquiring the chunk of the significant and insignificant techniques he'd added to his unconventional brand of fighting remained the same; to pulverize Ranma.

Whether over bread or Akane, Ranma always seemed to be the main crux of the reason for why he was improving himself. He didn't just train or fight for the pure enjoyment of it like Ranma, and a lot of times found himself thinking how could Ranma be like that, which often quickly irritated him.

Heh. It was funny - as much as he'd adamantly deny it – that he was probably more Ranma-obsessed than any of his suitors, in his own mad way.

"I see you're eager now," Unohana giggled, commenting on Ryoga's change of attitude.

"Yeah, well, let's just say I've live with getting lost so much now that the chance of curing myself seems like an impossible dream," Ryoga explained.

"I understand your lamentation," Unohana assured, getting a grateful nod from Ryoga, "I believe I might have ascertained the crux of your subconscious teleportation ability."

"Really?" The bandana-clad boy asked, looking surprised.

The motherly nun nodded with a hum, "Yes. I strongly believe the heart of your problem lies in your very Reiryoku."

"Re-it-ryko?" And there was a term he wasn't similar with, "What's that?"

"Reiryoku," Unohana patiently corrected before going on to explain with her hands held in a small pray sign, "Is the spiritual power that resides in the body of every living being."

"Wait," Ryoga requested, trying to put the pieces together in his own mind, "So what you're saying is, everyone has Reiryoku and can be used to fight?"

"Well, yes and no," Unohana began rather cryptically, confusing her soon-to-be disciple. Sensing this, she smiled softly, "While every living being does house Reiryoku, it mainly acts as a siphon to deploy one's own Reiatsu."

"Okay," Ryoga shrugged in the manner that suggested he was just going along with the ride of complication, "What's that?"

"Reiatsu is the main tool we utilize and is exerted by Reiryoku. The amount of Reiatsu you can potentially possess all depends on the amount of Reiryoku you wield," Unohana said, feeling like she was making a bit of a break through, "I suppose you could say Reiryoku is potential and Reiatsu is the power in use."

"Did you manage to catch all that Ryoga-kun?" Isane asked, speaking for the first time in a quiet tone upon seeing her failed love interest clutching his tempers as though his brain had shut down on itself from the information it took in.

Hearing his very short-lived admirer's voice for what seemed like possibly a millennium prompted Ryoga to just stare at her in a dumbfounded fashion of remembrance, 'I forgot she was even there.' Better not utter that aloud, not with scary Big Mama around, "Uh, kinda."

The motherly nun sauntered forward, invading Ryoga's personal space to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder, "Perhaps you would benefit from a demonstration. No?" Perhaps he was the type who had to first learn from experience rather than words?

"Yeah, it could help," Ryoga admitted.

"Very well," Unohana said, stepping just out of range of Ryoga's proximity. Circling her hands around as though she were about to perform a kamehameha wave, Unohana angled her palms above one another, a clear through liquid-like orb materialized in between them.

Staring in silent awe Ryoga could only mouth a silent "Wow" the captain and lieutenant clearly read from his still open jaw. He could subconsciously feel the power emitting from the watery orb, soothing like the peaceful waters of the ocean as though it could ease his pain.

"This is what we refer to as Reiryoku," Unohana said, dematerializing the orb in her palm which jolted Ryoga slightly out of his trance, "To convert and apply that into Reiatsu would be to simply…" No words other than an inhale was needed.

Ryoga had his first experience of a very subtle reiatsu crush

"What the-?" It was subtle, but he could feel it. The atmosphere tightened, breathing became a tad more difficult as it stood, and the urge to hunch himself over increased. It was by no means a chore to stay up straight, but it wasn't natural either like it should've been, "What's going on?"

Accepting that as the password, Unohana allowed the atmosphere to resume its normal flow, "That would be Reiatsu."

Staring at Unohana blankly, Ryoga attempted to complete the jigsaw puzzle in his own mind, "So, you like… can, choke people with Reiatsu?" He requested the puzzle be completed by the Fourth Division Captain.

"Essentially, yes, in reality, no," Anddddd the roller-coaster of complication sped up, "More like you increase the mass of gravity in your victim's proximity. The only way to avoid being completely overpowered by someone's Reiatsu is for your own Reiatsu's levels to be near theirs."

Ryoga nodded, a sufficient portion of the lesson sinking into his skull. He felt he had acquired enough to have a vague idea of what Reiatsu was, "I think I'm starting to get this."

Unohana smiled, "That's okay. Reiatsu and Reiryoku can be difficult concepts to grasp."

"Yeah," If complication could be considered a heat substance Ryoga's brain would've been fried a hundred times over.

"Do not fret. I'm positive you'll find the task of grasping both concepts much easier once we begin your training," Unohana said reassuringly.

"Thanks," Ryoga said, Unohana's motherly essence assuring he felt at ease with the not-so promising prospect of mastering Reiatsu and Reiryoku, "Wait, I need to tell Akane what I'll be doing before I start."

"Akane?" Unohana asked with concern, sparing a glance to Isane who avoided her gaze.

"Yeah, she's my girl," Ryoga clarified, holding his head up as much as he could. He was proud of the fact that he could have the chance to grow close to Akane, but he really didn't want to run the risk of provoking Unohana's anger by admitting he turned down her second in command.

"I see." It was a right shame that he was taken already. Given the few similarities he shared with her lieutenant, Unohana thought they could have made a happy couple and naturally sought out to couple them up, because whether in life or the afterlife a partner always made living either a whole lot more pleasant, "Okay, I'll have her informed of your whereabouts and when you will return to her."

"Thanks," Well that put his mind at ease, "That means a lot."

Now he could concentrate of ridding himself of his curse.

 **Chapter Seven**

XxX

(Elsewhere – Hueco Mundo)

The surrounding air was chillingly cold, fitting of the unmoving clouds.

The sky was an eerie pitch black, with the only illumination coming from the glowing full moon the mythic creatures known as werewolves often found themselves drawn to.

And the sand of the vast land she now found herself in reached up to her knees.

Nabiki could decidedly declare this surpassed the entirety of her prediction on the scale of how creepy her new home was going to be since traversing through the spooky all black void tunnel of nothingness with her escorts.

"So this will be my new home?" She said offhandedly, obviously not expecting an answer.

"Hell fucking yeah!" She was going to get one from Grimmjow anyway, in his own smart ass way to tell her he knew she didn't want an answer and he was just being an asshole, "Whaddya think? Pretty roomy, huh?"

"Oh really? Because I was under the assumption most of this 'excessive' space was already being taken up by the sand," Nabiki returned, getting a smirk from the blue-haired jaguar-like creature.

"Really?"

"Oh, like yours was really any better. Really, now that's worth a really."

Grimmjow laughed loudly, tossing his head up, "Okay, I'll give ya that one," His boss lady was already itching her way to his good side. He hadn't laughed like that for a long time.

"Oh, yes you will," Nabiki continued, just to further rub sweet victory in Grimmjow's face, a cheeky etched onto her own, "You wouldn't want to get your salary deducted."

That was a textbook definition of sarcasm if there ever was one. Even if currency existed in this odd world, which she highly doubted it did, she would never share it with anyone. Money had long since captured her heart. It would take godly claws to pry her heart from its clutches.

She didn't even think Aizen could.

"Oh I'm sooo scared."

"That you should be."

"We should proceed to the main fortress of Aizen-sama," Ulquiorra suggested, partly to distance himself from the pair, but mostly to end this pointless back-and-forth iteration, "The temperature in Hueco Mundo tends to vary, even declining below zero degrees. This can be immensely lethal to a human."

Nabiki blinked with surprise, but Ulquiorra could tell it wasn't at his explanation. It was a look of recognition she acquired since the first word he had spoken after telling her they were unaware of Aizen's location, "You're still here?" She inquired.

The cybernetic-like creature looked away from her, hands tucked in his pockets. He had only just met her and already she was evoking a useless, worthless emotion out of him; annoyance. Irritating. If she wasn't technically his superior by Aizen-sama's orders, he would chide her.

"I have been beside the two of you this whole time," As it stood, he could do little more but straight-up correct her, which played right into her hands anyway.

"Could've fooled us, emo-boy," Grimmjow chipped in with a casual demeanour to further antagonize Ulquiorra.

Deciding he was above such petty tricks, Ulquiorra sauntered forward without sparing either a glance, "I will not be ensnared in your childish rue," He returned, "Now, come; otherwise you will have to explain to Aizen-sama if she becomes to her death from the temperature of below zero degrees Celsius… Grimmjow Jaggerjack."

And he distanced himself from the two, leaving Grimmjow scratching the side of his head in awkward annoyance while Nabiki snickered mockingly at his misfortune, "Quite the difficult ultimatum you have on your hands," She said.

"Yeah-Yeah," Final words for the scene spoken, the two followed Ulquiorra through the vast desert. During the journey, Nabiki had to force herself not to shiver and hug herself for warmth as threads of wind passed by. It really was becoming quite cold, so cold she could not only see her own breath but the very wind itself. Ulquiorra was right by the lethal temperature, but that didn't mean she was going to blatantly concede defeat.

She had an ego after all.

After passing by multiple plain grey-coloured pillars varying from the size of buildings and skyscrapers scattered throughout the dark desert, they arrived at Aizen's palace. It definitely peeked Nabiki's interest. It had a castle-like shape, though was as simplistic in its colour scheme as the rest of the pillars in Hueco Mundo.

Even the interior had the nondescript colours of white and black.

Nabiki had to contemplate whether Aizen liked to keep it simple, was just being cheap with the decorations and furnish, or had an entirely different reason for why his main fortress was so scarce of everything giving it personality.

Regardless, it was interesting to think about.

"Oh, what do we have here?" A sly, slithering snake-like tone echoed throughout the wide berth of space that was the throne room, and from the shadows emerged the most distrusting closed-eyed smile Nabiki had ever lied eyes on.

It was like he was a predator, saying with no shame whatsoever that he was going to kill her and enjoy every minute of it.

Silvery-bluish blue hair fell to his shoulders, with two bangs framing his perpetually smiling face. Much like Aizen and her two escorts, he too sported a full white shihakusho, all but confirming that was their main organization outfit.

"The boss' lady," Grimmjow clarified grouchily. He never liked this man. Okay, he liked him just as much as he liked his other comrades, which wasn't very much anyway, but he could at least trust them to a degree. With him, he always felt like he had to keep his guard up, like the moment he turns his back it was going to get pierced by the viper.

"Oh, is that so?" He asked, getting a disgruntled growl and a nod out of Grimmjow. The viper always enjoyed pretending he hadn't heard clearly just to screw with anyone in his sights. It really was an annoying quirk of his, "Well, well. Ain't ya the pretty one?"

For the first time since she was a relatively innocent toddler, Nabiki couldn't mask her unease. The serpent accomplished a feat that was easily the equivalence of the first man to ever walk on the moon itself.

"Oh, is everything alright?" Nabiki had the worst case of déjà vu at the object's of her unease mock question of concern just to rub his awareness of her nervous in her face. It was something she would've done to Ranma or any of the Nerima residents, but only now she was on the receiving end.

This must be what it felt like to have met your maker.

"You seem a tad pale." He further piled it on.

There was nothing like overkill in his book.

"Who wouldn't looking at your pale-ass face," Grimmjow retorted in Nabiki's stead, which definitely was appreciated as far as the mercenary queen was concerned, even if he did come to her aid like a blue-haired warrior wearing white gear.

His acerbic quip was enough to elicit a sarcastic chuckle out of the decidedly dangerous man, "I suppose you have a point."

If a portal could pass off as the term "saved by the bell" then the convenient sliding pitch black gateway assumedly leading to the living world would've been it a million times over as far as Nabiki Tendo was concerned. Like a curtain, it swept into view like a door, revealing Nabiki's to-be in all his composed glory.

"Aizen-baby."

Faint as it was, Aizen's usual fake smile of frosty politeness warmed, letting Nabiki know he appreciated the pet name even if he didn't outright acknowledge it, "Ah, I'm pleased to see you could join the revolution, Nabiki Tendo," He said as if he didn't already know.

The queen openly extended an offer to a friendly banter, if not to ease her mind of the predatory smile looming near, "Well, if you must know, I've always had the desire to rule a city let alone the world with an iron fist."

Before any further remarks of cordiality could be made between the two, Aizen was flaked by two of his most loyal members, one Nabiki knew even if he hadn't spoken that much seeing as he was one of the two who escorted her here and another individual who had yet to be identified, "Aizen-sama." They said simultaneously, both on one knee like they were bowing to their king, because they were.

"Ulquiorra, Tosen," Aizen said.

On the other side of Aizen opposite to the kneeling Ulquiorra was Kaname Tosen, former captain of the ninth division. Being a dark-skinned man Tosen styled his dark-brown hair in braids, styling a few braided strands in front of his closed eyes, though unlike Gin who seemed to have his eyes shut by choice to mess with his victims, Tosen's lavender eyes were pupliess with a pair of shades over them, insinuating he was most likely blind.

As far as Nabiki was concerned that clarified him as "trustworthy" in her book, though she already felt she could have a sense of security around this man at his show of diehard loyalty to Aizen.

He wore basically the same outfit as his comrades except with a few added touches to make it his own. His white kimono was sleeveless, and around his neck was an orange scarf.

"I take it you've welcomed my significant other with open arms," Aizen said with a calm tone that practically said they should have or else there would be trouble later. It was the kind of tone a father would use on his kids meeting his new girlfriend for the first time.

Tosen turned his head to Nabiki, and despite the fact that he couldn't "see" her legitimately, seemed to scrutinize her for several seconds on end. Unlike when she was interacting with the very subordinate he felt a close jealousy toward, Tosen couldn't sense a single feather on her head moving an inch.

She just stared at him with total curiosity.

Honestly, he really didn't have an opinion on her as of right now, "Yes, milord," But if Aizen-sama liked her enough to integrate her with their rebellion then she must be interesting, and he would not talk back to his lord.

Ulquiorra just nodded, not feeling anything for his new queen.

…He never felt anything. Ever.

"And what of you, Gin Ichimaru?" The hairs on the back of Nabiki's neck stood on end. Somehow, she knew Aizen was referring to her maker, and somehow Aizen seemed to know Gin hadn't officially introduced himself to her, since he referred to him by his full name.

Because he always knew everything. Always.

"What do you make of her thus far?" He asked, exchanging a glance with Nabiki before looking at Gin. It was brief, but she caught a consoling look in his eyes before it was gone to narrow in interrogation at his second-in-command.

"She's quite the feisty one, Capt'n," He tossed out a casual smarmy remark, and it didn't stop there, "I can see why ya picked this one. Life in the bedroom will certainly be rocky, eh?"

"Really now?"

"Okay, perhaps that one was rocking the boat a tad too much, eh? Sometimes, I tend to forget how easily it is to get underneath someone's skin," Gin said, still incredibly insincere in his words.

'How does he get away with saying this shit?' Grimmjow mused, thinking the main logical statement he knew everyone else wanted to say, but couldn't for whatever reason. He didn't know what their relationship was or how deep it ran, but for as long as this organization had been up, Gin could just freely speak his mind and get away with the consequences scot free.

In an effort to salvage the last remnants of the security Aizen's presence gave her around Gin from being torn apart by the latter's own casual familiarity around her man, Nabiki smoothly deflected the conversation away, a hand on her hip, "So, what oh-so important quest were you on that took priority over my arrival here?" She grinned cheekily, remembering her escorts telling her they were unaware of Aizen's doings, "If I'm privy to that information."

Aizen caught on to Nabiki's wariness of his right-hand man, but didn't call her out on it out of respect for her, instead allowing her to freely change the subject, "Of course," He said, "I was at your father's, offering him and his companion an opportunity to join us."

"A chance to join the winning side huh?" Grimmjow interjected with bored nonchalance.

"Indeed."

"I see." Made sense. Her father and Genma were pussies, but if there was one thing that even they wouldn't budge even an inch on it was their dream to unite their schools using the contrived marriage of their kids, regardless if the two loved each other or not. They would've done anything, used every little trick in the books, to see that come to fruition, so naturally one would assume they would do anything to get that chance back.

…Even joining an ambiguous organization hell bent on reshaping the world for better or worst.

"And how did that go?" Nabiki asked even if she felt like she already knew the answer.

"Fairly well, but it appears that both our potential new comrades need a little persuasion before they can feel secure enough to immerse themselves in our plans," Aizen explained, eliciting a blink of slight surprise from Nabiki.

They did? Given just how badly both Soun and Saotome wanted Ranma back into their lives so they can hitch her/him off to Akane, Nabiki would've figured the two would've snatched at the chance for two massive power-ups to down Kurosaki like children taking candy from their parents with joy.

Then again, considering Aizen gave her the time to rethink her decision to join him regardless of that fact that she was ready from the off, it was easily understandable that they would need "persuasion."

"What kinda persuasion are we talking about here?" Grimmjow asked, with the hidden implications being enough to momentarily down his boredom.

The next set of words were exactly the ones Grimmjow wanted to come out of Aizen's mouth, "A demonstration of the power of my subordinates," Even better, he looked at Grimmjow, "That's where you come in, Grimmjow."

Even if he tried, there was no way Grimmjow would have been able to stop the wide grin from splitting his face off. So he didn't. Instead, he just cracked his knuckles to coincide with his grin, "So, who's the lucky customer who's gonna get curb stomped by yours truly?"

"Ichigo Kurosaki," Aizen said, because watching the very person who oppressed you effortlessly beaten into the ground by the very organization offering you the chance to do the same would be enough incentive for anyone to take that hand.

"Sounds fun." He had just the tool he had nicked from a trip to the living world one time to really grate on this Kurosaki-guy's nerves.

* * *

 _ **Comeuppance a Coming**_

* * *

 _ **Ichigo.**_

He could hear it; a distorted voice mocking him in the vast darkness of which he could only guess was dreamland.

 _ **Ichigo.**_

It reminded him of a hollow the first time he had lay eyes on it. The warped, distorted voice and the eyes were the main two features Ichigo could connect to a hollow, especially the eyes.

 _ **Ichigo.**_

It was something about those eyes that haunted him ever since he first lay his own hazel ones on them in his brawl with Byakuya for what became one of his closest friends' sake. Deep, endless pitch black voids only lit up by two dim yellow orbs housing clear insanity, like they belonged in his girlfriend's old crazy neighbourhood.

They haunted him.

 _ **Ichigo.**_

How could something so terrifying be living inside of him?

 _ **Ichigo.**_

He had a theory, but without any real hard proof to solidify it that was all it was; mere speculation.

 _ **Ichigo.**_

Although, he would think anyone would say this thing first manifested inside of him if he told them his theory. It seemed incredibly substantial given the resistance he had to put up to avoid the thing from gaining complete control of his body.

 _ **You know it's only a matter of time.**_

 _Gulp._

The thought that such a thing not only resided inside of himself, but also had the capability to physically possess him frightened him to no end, and only his unbreakable will kept him from jumping out of his own body in the constant fear of the creature overhauling him as the dominant force.

 **Hehehe. Seems like you're finally catching on.**

A malevolent chuckle followed by a sardonic remark had the ginger warrior sweating bullets. The diabolic things the creature could do in his body scared the colouring from his skin. It could harm innocent people… It could kill his love ones.

It could kill his love ones!

 **Now why would I do that?**

He suddenly pierced his eyes open with shocked acknowledgement that wasn't elicited at the creature's frighteningly similar appearance. After all, he had seen it before. An exact mirror image of himself in shikai mode, with the only difference being every part of the thing was blank white; from his clothes, to his hair, right down to his very skin.

The only part of it that wasn't white was its aforementioned eyes…

"You stay away from them…!" Ichigo said, sounding like he was caught between two minds, one opting to plead like an old man having given up on the fight and the other choosing to demand like a stubborn child never knowing when to throw in the towel until the day he meets his maker.

" **Oh?** " It began, its cocky smirk already telling Ichigo it was going to milk his suffering for all it was worth, " **What if I don't want to?** "

"Then I'll make ya!" He answered, trying to steel his balls the way the latter of his two minds would've encouraged, knowing full well showing blatant weakness would only get it used against him like an arrested criminal spitting out incriminating evidence.

" **You really think you can?** " It found his attempts of resistance perfect motivation to carry on this game of Ichigo torment, " **You forget who carried who in your last big main event fight, Ichigo.** "

"You didn't carry anybody!" Like hell he would ever let anybody downplay his victory over Byakuya. It was important to him in many ways. Not only it was the first fight he ever used Bankai in, but he also rescued his dear friend Rukia, teaching her brother what it meant to be a brother in the process. It was monumental, "You may have come to my aid when I had ONE lapse of concentration, but I kicked your ass backstage afterwards and finished the fight my damned self! So don't you dare say you carried me because you didn't carry shit!"

So touchy, but instead of calling Ichigo out on his sensitivity, the white-skinned creature smoothly deflected the conversation, " **Is that so? I bet your little girlfriend would love to hear that tale, huh partner?** " He chuckled darkly at making Ichigo widen his eyes, " **Why didn't ya tell me you had one? Sure would be fun devouring her whole.** "

"You stay the hell away from her!" He demanded, no doubt in his mind which side he was taking. He rushed the creature, but it navigated its body to the side and trapped Ichigo's outstretching arm by the wrist, pushing it down so he could see the full extent of its arrogant grin.

" **Did I touch a nerve?** " It mocked, " **She's just one of the dishes on my menu. First, I'm gonna devour your old man, then your little sisters, and everyone you even remotely care about until little Ranma is left. Then, I'm gonna savage that look of utter sadness on her face as her** _ **Ichi-chan**_ **gobbles her up! Hahahahahaha!** "

"…This can't be happening," Ichigo said like a man about to be put away for life in the slammer, eyes full of despair as the overpowered thing that seemed to tower several heights over him despite being the same height chortled.

" **Oh but it is!** " It bragged with a very 'in-your-face' kind of tone, " **And the best part of it all is that you'll be powerless to do anything about it! Hahahahahahaha!** "

"Nooooooooooooo!"

xXx

"Ahhhh!" His terrified scream travelled through the darkness, through the soft material that was his mattress laying beneath him ensured him that he was in his bedroom.

"Ichi-chan?" That and the concerned-filled voice of Ranma followed by the sliding sound of his closet door opening all but confirmed he wasn't in dreamland.

Good, because he really didn't want to go back there.

"You okay?" Ranma asked, quickly hurrying to his side and placing the palm of her hand on his forehead as though he had a fever, "You were only having a bad dream."

Another one? That was the second one in successive nights, and if this one followed the same pattern as the last one Ichigo dreaded to say it would come true, just because his dreams seemed to have a nasty habit of materializing before him.

"No…" He voiced, breathing deeply, "It was more than just a dream."

Remembering what came after her boyfriend's persistence than his nightmare was more than just that, Ranma couldn't help but flex a dry smile, "Lemme guess, it was a flippin' premonition right?"

Instead of responding in his usual grouchy demeanour at Ranma's quip, Ichigo's eyes widened and deepened with horror, as he stared intensely at the palms of his hands as though he were trying to assure himself than he was still himself, worrying Ranma.

'He's really shaken up,' She mused, noting the coldness of his shaking body, 'Wonder what he coulda dreamt about that coulda frightened him to this extent.' She highly doubted anything from Nerima could. Sure that town and anyone that lived in it was wacky on an annoying scale, but it was never this serious to the point it was scary.

He felt movements on his bed, letting him know Ranma was climbing on it. Feeling her shoulder coming into contact with his sent a sensation that was like being tickled all over through Ichigo. He couldn't explain why, but it felt relaxing.

"Ranma?" He said, sparing a glance past his shoulder to see her raised up on her knees.

"Lay down for a sec Ichi-chan," She sat down fully on her knees, patting her lap.

"There?" He asked unsurely, feeling his heart tightened in knots at Ranma's nod of confirmation, "You sure?"

"Sure as I'll ever be," She said, only a friction of playfulness showing on a small grin on her face. There was a time and place for playtime, but this wasn't it. Whatever Ichigo had dreamt about had spooked him to hell. He needed to be comforted.

Nodding wordlessly, Ichigo slowly lowered his head downward in the direction of Ranma's lap, helped by the girl's delicate arms. Even as she rolled her eyes at his innate shyness, she didn't rush it. She just guided his head to her lap, feeling delightfully smug at the sigh of relief Ichigo let out upon reaching his makeshift pillow.

"See? Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" She smirked as Ichigo's uncertain expression eased away.

"No," Ichigo whispered, relaxing on the soft knees of Ranma. It was like he was floating upwards to the heavens on a moving cloud, and after the hellish nightmare he just had, this was exactly what the doctor ordered, "Thanks, Ranma."

"What are girlfriends for, huh?" She asked with a grin and wink down at Ichigo.

"Right," He agreed, not stopping his own grin from tugging at his lips.

"So what did ya dream about?" Ranma wondered, "Musta been pretty darn bad for you to be like that."

Ichigo sighed, not sure how to put it into words even if he did feel secure enough to tell her of his inner dilemma, "Don't know."

"Idiot. Don't feed me that crap," She remarked, though her softened gaze never hardened despite being lied to, "You do know, but you just don't want me to worry."

The cringe she could feel from him on her knees told Ranma she had read him too well, "How did you know?"

Ranma smiled, applying soothing strokes to Ichigo's forehead, lightly combing up his bangs, "It's what I woulda done after all," Plenty of times in the past she had kept the current situations and her own personal dilemmas from Akane so the girl wouldn't worry, but she always did. Ranma used to find that annoying, but having something kept from her for her own "benefit" made her understand.

The fact that Ranma wasn't visibly angry or upset that he was keeping something lethal to himself from her just made him feel awful, "I'm sorry." He felt even worse that he still couldn't tell her.

He just couldn't.

And she knew he weren't going to tell her, "You don't have to tell me."

That just made him feel worse.

"Damn it."

"Ichi."

"I'm such an asshole."

"No you're not."

"I am."

"You're not."

"I am."

"You're not."

"I am."

"You're not."

"I am."

"You're not." She quickly reminded of her stubbornness before he could continue their back and forth, "We can just do this all night you know until you're ready to throw in the towel."

That was a definite no-no, but that still didn't mean he could stop feeling sorry for himself, "How can ya put up with me?"

"Tell ya what," Ranma offered with a sigh. She only had so much patience to play patient girlfriend, and hers was clearly starting to wear thin, "You don't have to tell me what's up until you find a solution."

Ranma held back a giggle as she saw the hope emanating from his eyes. It was the sort of reaction she would expect from herself having felt like she had abused the trust of someone she could normally say she was on good terms with, even if said person insisted it was okay. The guilt monkey would never climb off her chest unless she was given the chance for redemption.

"Really?" Ichigo asked.

"Sure thing," Ranma clarified, "Just promise you'll tell me what the hell you're going through once you've found a way to overcome it."

"I will," Ichigo assured, and look of steely resolve gleaming in his pupils was all the assurance Ranma needed.

"Alright," Ranma murmured with a softened glance, lightly circling her fingers around Ichigo's temples, "Now that's taken care of, whaddya say we return to dreamland before the sun rises? Would put my money's on ya going to paradise, but you seem to be already it in, huh?"

"Yeah, this is nice."

"I know, right? I almost passed out lying next to ya last time I hopped in with ya just to mess with ya."

XxX

Ranma Saotome was good for Ichigo, Yuzu decided, sat on her knees just outside of her older brother's bedroom door with a glass of milk in her hand.

Having been woken up by Ichigo's scream of terror, Yuzu's first instinct as the step-in mother of the household was to run to her brother, but Karin, being the voice of reason, reminded her that Ranma was there and would've naturally soothed Ichigo in her stead.

Yuzu knew she was right, but being the girly-girl she was, she naturally loved cute things, and her brother's relationship with Ranma was the epitome of adorable to her, so Yuzu just had to listen in on their conversation.

She wasn't left disappointed. It put her already warm heart at ease, listening to Ichigo's stressing being put to rest by Ranma. This was especially heart-warming to her considering that she worried for Ichigo the most out of them all.

He tortured himself so much over their mother's death, even assuming they would all despise him for being the "catalyst" for such a tragedy. Ack. Like they could ever, but telling Ichigo that was a lot easier said than done. He was already fragile like most kids at the tender age of nine were, but witnessing the death of their mother was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Defence mechanism activated, he instinctively built a solid brick wall of cold badassery around himself and his emotions a'la Yusuke Urameshi, and nothing any of them said or did could break down that barrier.

Eventually, Daddy decided that they should just do nothing; move on from their mother's death and adjust from it.

That was how Yuzu became the mother of the family, which seemed fitting.

Isshin always said she was a spitting image of Masaki.

Even after a couple of years had passed, the only rehabilitation Ichigo had shown was becoming a relatively laid-back teen, which wasn't bad all things considered, but Yuzu just knew he was still carrying the burden of Masaki's death heavily on his shoulders. He was better than he was years ago, but he still wasn't the same carefree brother she had grew up with.

And that truly upset her.

In an effort to comfort her, Isshin assured her that once Ichigo found himself a girlfriend to bring him out of his shell, he would regress, but no girl before Ranma had ever caught his eye.

Tatsuki was more of a big sister to him.

"I think they're asleep now," Yuzu quietly noted via the heavy snores she knew were coming from her brother. Ichigo always was a heavy sleeper.

Delicately picking herself up, Yuzu carefully pushed open the door just out of an innate fear of awakening either of them, tiptoeing into the room like an untrained ninja.

Yuzu had to stifle a giggle seeing the tangled mess the two were in, with Ranma passed out on Ichigo's leg with her own folded ones underneath her partner's.

"She must've fallen asleep right after soothing onii-sama on her lap," Yuzu rationalized. Right, she could face them the right around, the way a boyfriend and a girlfriend who slept in the same bed should've been positioned.

…The way her parents had been lovingly intertwined before she came in from a nightmare of her own to get between them when she had been much younger.

Yuzu scooted her brother's head off of Ranma's legs, and it fell with a silent thump to the mattress. He let out a disgruntled moan that had Yuzu's heart clenching, but otherwise didn't respond.

"That was close," She sighed, climbing up on the head of Ichigo's bed above the two. Leaning over the sleeping beauty, she hooked her arms underneath hers, lifting up her upper body with a slight strain. Fortunately, though, Ranma shown zero signs of being disturbed from her sleep, so Yuzu was able to confidently place her head neatly on Ichigo's chest.

"You sleep like a rock, Ranma-chan," Yuzu joked, placing her hands together and cooing as Ranma instinctively wrapped her arms around Ichigo's form, "Aw." She carefully slid her way off of Ichigo's bed, curiosity and cuteness meter decidedly full, "I'll let you two sleep now."

Before heading toward the door, Yuzu made extra sure the two were covered up in Ichigo's blanket.

Even then as she sauntered her way just out of view of the two, she spared one last look at them; a look that said she was excited for what the future had in store for the two shining in her eyes.

How could she know that as the sun rose to signal the start of the next day playtime would be over and business would be in session?

Shit would be getting real.

* * *

 **Everybody's third favourite espada behind second Ulquiorra and first place Stark, the rude-boy's about to unload a serious beat down on the Ginger warrior. Christmas is coming back for Soun and Genma it seems**


	8. Start of a Rivalry

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or Bleach**

* * *

A shine beamed through the curtains of Ichigo's bedroom, hitting the two right in their faces. Strangely enough, that little thing sufficed to disturb Ranma from her sleep first regardless of the fact that not even a dumbbell could.

"Huh? Morning already?" Ranma asked, not expecting an answer as she picked herself up from Ichigo, her legs draping over the side of the bed.

Ichigo groaned, raising up into a sitting position as he rubbed his eye with the back of his hand, "…It's too early," He mumbled, tossing his blanket to the side, only to end up giving himself a funny look, "Wait, I slept in my clothes?"

"Yeah. Don't ya remember? Yoruichi knocked ya out before you could change outta 'em," Ranma explained with a shrug, "Thought ya woulda taken the hint earlier in the night."

"Didn't give it a second thought," Ichigo scowled, manoeuvring his legs to the ground beside Ranma's, pulling his body next to hers straight afterward.

"That nightmare you had musta bugged ya more than ya thought, huh?" Ranma said, throwing her two cents of bait and an idea out there with a smirk on her face, "Who knows, maybe that's a sign that you're right about not telling me what's up?"

"Uh, maybe," Ichigo murmured, the guilt-monkey essentially mewing at his chest. Putting that to the furthest depths of the back of his mind, he just got up and began undressing, getting down to his boxers before he was interrupted, and it wasn't by the only person who was in his room.

"Gooooood~ Morning~ Ichiiiiiigo!~" Isshin hollered, running in there to give his son his usual dosage of early beat down, which usually backfired. He stopped just short of his son's extended fist, looking past it to observe the not-so-dress states of the two, "Oh?"

Oh?

"Well that was new," Ichigo deadpanned.

Isshin stood up straight with a legit serious expression on his face. It almost made Ichigo think he had come to his senses, "Sorry to disturb you," He said, turning and sauntering out of the room as if he was never there.

"Huh?" Ichigo stared dumbfounded in the aftermath of father's unusual exit.

Ranma giggled, "He just implied we're about to screw!"

"Of course…" He grumbled with a scowl, marching over to his closet and pulling out a towel from it.

"Good morning onii-sama," The moment Ranma heard the respectful girly voice that had already camped itself a spot in her heart the instant Ichigo disappeared from her view she knew Yuzu was coming this way, probably to ask or to tell Ichigo something.

'Since this is from my perspective maybe she's coming to me,' Ranma prodded as Ichigo gave a reflexive lazy greeting back at his sister, allowing the aforementioned to, lo-and-behold, saunter on into his room, straight up to her with a smile on her face and a comb in her hand, 'Man, am I good or what?'

"Good morning, Ranma-chan," Yuzu said in greeting.

"Hi ya Yuzu-chan," Ranma returned, sweeping a leg over the other as she leaned back on her hand casually, "What can I do for ya?"

Yuzu gave her a shake of the head, "No. You misinterpret me," The little girl stated, earning herself a blink of the eyes from Ranma, "I wanna do something for you."

"Oh~kay," Ranma replied in a voice that suggested she didn't get what Yuzu was implying but was willing to passively go along with the ride, "What's that?" As far as Ranma's speedy mind was concerned, Yuzu withdrew herself from the proverbial bush the second she lifted up the comb in her hand, making her intentions known, "…Oh?"

"Can I comb your hair?"

"…My hair," Ranma murmured in disbelief, instinctively reaching behind her and touching her braid.

"Yep," Yuzu said with a nod, interpreting Ranma's disbelief as a sign of hesitation, "But if you don't want me to comb it I won't. It was only a suggestion. Your hair's so pretty, I thought you would want keep it that way for onii-sama's sake."

A warm smile overtook Ranma's features, "Comb away, squirt."

The small girl in front of her stared wide eyed at her for only a brief few seconds, but that was all Ranma needed to deduce that this little activity she could've just done herself if she felt like it at any point was important to her, "Right!" Yuzu said with a confident smile on her face.

"Whoa, I like that confidence, champ," Ranma teased as Yuzu climbed up beside her, flashing her a sheepish smile before she crawled behind her, opening up the curtains to allow the light to illuminate the room without obstruction before doing so.

"I guess I kinda overreacted," Yuzu admitted, gently taking the braid keeping Ranma's beautiful strawberry-coloured hair intact in more ways than just the one she knew, admiring it.

"Aw, it's nothing," Ranma swept the exaggeration aside the same time she could feel her hair being loosened from its long two to three years imprisonment. She could feel her heart clenching slightly, making her place her palms together over her chest as if they could stabilize it together, "Probably about to do the same anyway."

Yuzu blinked, leaning over Ranma to study her uneased expression. Odd. At least with hers, they were both in mutual agreement that it was understandable because Yuzu had a chance to grow closer to her brother's girlfriend, but why would Ranma overreact about just getting her hair combed, "Haven't you ever had your hair combed before?"

"Not since I started putting it into a braid," Not since she got a brand new hair string negating the effects of a continuous hair formula, but na, they didn't need to sweat the details, especially since it only applied to her guy side, "I don't know, it just seemed so easy to manage with my martial arts training that I kinda forgot about it." Perfectly given innuendo.

Yuzu nodded understandably, remembering how overzealous Ranma got when she said she was into martial arts the first night she arrived at the Kurosaki's residence through her brother's bedroom window. It was the first and only thing Ranma had to say about herself that night beside from her general interests on the night they were getting to know each other around the dinner table.

She was really passionate about her martial arts, that much was obvious from her statement of her and Ichigo finding a common ground to stand on and a general interest in the other from a contest of skill.

It was actually pretty funny the way she worded that, but then again Ranma could make anything funny.

"Okay," Yuzu said in understanding. She was never one for martial arts or fighting in general herself, but she'd had watched enough Kung Fu films with Karin and her father to know those in that profession usually kept their hair tied if it was lengthy, most likely to avoid it being a hindrance in someway, "Haven't you ever thought of having a different style?"

"Not really," It started out as just a convenient style that kept her long hair out of her eyes, but after weeks and months passed with her hair still in a braid it grew on her and became a part of her identity, similar to how others could never be seen without a distinctive pair of shades and a cap on their head. It was just a part of their personality, "It grew on me."

And to think that all spawned from her childish need to rub the fact that she had hair in Genma's face.

"Would you ever consider styling your hair differently for a change?" Yuzu offered with a smile, because variety was the spice of life, "I think you could look really pretty with your hair in a ponytail, but then again-." She paused, whipping the black thin hair string from Ranma's hair, watching her potential sister-in-law shake it loose, "You look mature with your hair down."

"You really think so?" A random crow flew by, setting itself on the window sill of Ichigo's bedroom before letting out a few mocking caws at the thought of Ranma being mature, "Cram it you!" It flew off.

"That was weird."

"You can say that again."

XxX

(Nerima - With Akane)

Awaking up in the morning felt totally strange to Akane now that Ranma was no longer around, thus ensuring the ritual sparring match that he and his father used to do daily would be no more.

She had become so accustomed to hearing the battle cries of the two going at it at the crack of dawn tooth and nail that not hearing it when she awoke up felt incredibly off.

Akane even had a snappy "Oh shove it, Ranma!" demand on the tip of her tongue just waiting to come out the moment she walked down the stairs, knowing he would have something smart-alecky to say to her, only to have to hold it back when she realized she would have blurted it out to Kasumi.

Then she was told by Kasumi that Nabiki hadn't returned at all since last night as if she wasn't already close to falling over the edge. It wasn't even her sister's unknown whereabouts that worried her the most, but the fact that she felt more disturbed than saddened over Nabiki's disappearance.

It was her sister. Akane should feel something, but she honestly couldn't.

She just couldn't.

If anything, she felt more distraught over Ryoga's disappearance than Nabiki's.

"Today feels totally weird," Akane murmured to herself on the walk to school. Gosh, the first peaceful walk to school she'd had in months without a petty argument breaking out over absolute nothing between her and Ranma and that was what she thought about it?

She really had gotten used to all the crazy happenings and fights that plagued her life in Nerima if one serene day was enough to throw her off.

With a sigh, she decided to endure the unnatural weirdness of her day as she continued on in her usual route to school, trying to pretend it didn't feel strange not hearing the usual light footsteps thudding off of the top of the fence beside her.

Luckily, when Akane made it to Furinkan she found someone who could and usually would lend her an ear to discuss the unearthly sensation she felt permeating around her; someone she knew she could have a civil conversation with even if they were technically once rivals in love for Ranma's hand.

"Oh, Ukyo!" Akane acknowledged, spotting the aforementioned chef several feet in front of her past the school gates.

Recognizing her voice in the distance, Ukyo stopped mid stride, turning to her direction to find her smiling with a wave to give off her exact location in the sea of students; said unimportant characters passing Ukyo by without a care for her wellbeing as she did.

Ukyo let Akane catch up to her before giving the girl her own greeting, just because she didn't feel like yelling it out like Akane had. The first thing Akane noticed were the bags underneath Ukyo's eyes, "Hey, Akane." The chef elite said.

"Hi!" She beamed, deciding to get the ball of conversation rolling with a jibe that wasn't intended to be mean-spirited, "So, how did your mission to rescue Ranma go?" Because a little friendly banter never hurt anyone, as long as the remarks were spoken without the extent to hurt the other.

Ukyo wasn't stupid, thus knew Akane already knew how it went just from Ichigo accomplishing his task, which entailed going to the Tendo's to retrieve Ranma's stuff, "Like you don't know," She said, giving her a pointed glare of annoyance.

"Sorry. I couldn't help myself," It was just asking to be made given how sure of herself Ukyo was of bringing Ranma back to the crazy fold of Nerima.

"Don't sweat it," Ukyo assured, letting it slide. She probably would've used a similar mockery in a similar situation anyway, and the last thing she wanted was to come off as a blatant hypocrite, "I took something out of it anyway."

That surprised Akane. She would've figured all the participants who travelled to Karakura Town to hunt for Ranma and Shampoo would've came back as empty-handed as they left out, "Really?"

"You bet."

"What's that?"

Ukyo turned off to the side to gaze at the sky above with a fond smile, "The chance to reignite my friendship with Ranchan."

"Friendship?" Suddenly, the front yard wasn't as chimed as it once was a moment ago, leaving it spacey enough for the vague answer to form a gust of wind that blew by, lightly knocking Akane's dress to the side in the process.

She honestly didn't know what shocked her more, with those conflicting two sides being a toss-up between Ukyo actually settling for companionship with Ranma or just simply being able to stay in touch with her, "Seriously?"

"Well it's not like I have much of a choice, now do I?" Ukyo retorted, but in an effort to not give off the impression she was settling for second best for the sake of it, she admitted, "I've been such a selfish ass to Ranchan, you know?"

"I don't," She did. She just got the feeling in the pit of her stomach that Ukyo was opening up to her, and didn't have anything comforting to input beside straight-up agreeing with her, which could leave her annoyed. Then the emotional floodgates would be closed up and the unlikely friendship bridge they had formed would take a hit as a result.

So Akane just played ignorant to allow the waters to pass as they pleased.

"It's just, I never really gave a damn of what Ranchan wanted," Ukyo started with a sigh, turning back to Akane to look her in the eyes, "In my mind, we were gonna be together and she – or, he at the time – was gonna like it." She bent down to pick up a stone.

"Oh, Ukyo…" Akane whispered as a brand new golden shine only she could see in her perspective enveloped Ukyo's form.

"I clung to that fantasy," Ukyo's caged the stone in a fist, eliciting a flinch out of Akane from the sudden movement, "Blocking out any and all protests from Ranchan while doing so. I decided, I was going to get my man and once I do, any newcomers would have to pry him from my cold, dead, lifeless fingertips to get him."

A chill ran down Akane's spine at the grim tone Ukyo used on the last portion of her sentence. Suddenly, the light around Ukyo didn't seem so bright, "But now?" She asked, hoping the light she saw around Ukyo would return to its fullest, "You let it go, right?"

"Right," Ukyo confirmed with a smile, releasing the dust remnants of the stone in her hand to the ground to symbolize the release of her fantasy, "I'm ready to put Ranchan's needs before my own now, because it's not about what one wants in an relationship, it's about what they both want. And," She glanced down to the ground sadly, "I may not deserve it, but I would still like to be Ranchan's friend."

That did it, returned the golden glow of better difference around Ukyo to Akane's eyes. The chef elite even had a confidently happy smile on her face as she looked back to her, confirming she had made the right decision for herself.

It something Akane couldn't help but admire.

"Oh Ukyo," Akane said softly, "That's so mature."

Instead of using the compliment to stroke her ego, Ukyo admitted, "Well, I did have all night to think about Mr Urahara's lecture," She yawned from the lack of sleep, "…I'm tired as hell from it."

"So that's why you look so worn out," Akane noted, getting a hum from Ukyo, "Wait, who's Mr Urahara?"

"He's one of the guys who trained Ichigo," Ukyo explained, only to get another blink of confusion from Akane, implying she didn't get the mention of the latter, "You know, Ichigo?"

Still nothing.

"Ichigo Kurosaki."

The birds were quietly chirping.

"Ahhh… the guy who stole Ranchan's heart, sugar."

Oh! That Ichigo Kurosaki. Honestly, why didn't she just say so?

"Oh, I get it."

"Great, and it only took ya to recess," Ukyo grinned, making Akane pout at the sarcastic jibe, "Anyway, you hear about Karakura High School getting screwed over?"

"Oh yeah," Akane clarified, smiling dryly, "How could I forget? It was reported that an earthquake destroyed it, but Kasumi later told me you guys caused its destruction." Placing her hands on her hips, she gave Ukyo a pointed glance, "Honestly, Ukyo. What the hell? I never would have pegged Kuno for terrorism much less you."

"Oh shut up!" The fact that Akane giggled at her annoyance was enough evidence for Ukyo to realize that had been the expected reaction from her, "We never planned for that to happen, it just did! Seriously, we ain't terrorists!"

"Oh, I know, I know. I was only kidding," Akane said, trying to appease to Ukyo's moral compass, "But don't you think it's weird that everyone thinks an earthquake took down Karakura High School, and not you guys."

"I bet Mr Urahara had something to do about that."

"How do you know?"

"I don't. Just call it a hunch, but I would put my okonomiyaki on it being the truth," Ukyo reasoned, giving Akane more incentive to bet on her estimate with her next statement, "He's the one who cleaned up after us, after all. Most likely as a favour to Ichigo, I guess."

"He did?" Skepticism was clear on Akane's face and Ukyo could fully understand why. She knew this Urahara-person was an adult just by the respectful mention of his name by Ukyo. After all, no teen would ever refer to another with the senior usage of mister unless they were mocking him, but Ukyo didn't sound like she was mocking Mr Urahara. She sounded serene.

Ukyo clasped Akane's shoulder, assuring that she empathized with her, "I know it's difficult to swallow, an adult of all people actually taking the responsibility to tell us the wrongs of our actions, but it's true. Mr Urahara guided us on the right path."

Being in basically an unsupervised neighbourhood where every adult figure of influence shied away from the plate to straighten any of them out, what Ukyo was stating felt as unlikely as a ten year old winning the lottery.

"Wow, Ukyo," Akane breathed out in amazement as though Ukyo had been validated by god, "Mr Urahara sounds amazing."

"He's a good man I'll say that much," She probably wouldn't go that far, but as far as good ethics went Kisuke was solid, "The first adult to ever go out of his way to redirect me on the right road," She shook her head, but it wasn't at Kisuke's good deed, "Even my old man stopped giving a damn a long time ago."

"I know that feeling," Akane said, relating to Ukyo yet again with a sarcastic smile on her face, "Daddy doesn't even try to reprimand me and Nabiki. That's usually left to big sister, Kasumi."

"It sucks too!" Ukyo added on, kicking the dirt beneath her bitterly, "If any of the potato couches that claim to have an influence in our lives, like the TEACHERS, actually put in the effort to lecture us, then maybe we wouldn't be so screwed up."

"Hey!"

"I didn't mean us in particular," Ukyo specified before carrying on with her rant, "I mean, look at guys like the Kuno siblings. Screwed up as hell. I bet if they had someone responsible like Mr Urahara showing them the way, even they would've grown up at least semi-decent."

Akane's fiery expression cooled drastically thinking of the lack of responsible parental figures in the lives of the Kuno siblings, "Kind of feel sorry for them. I don't think their parents are any better."

"Ugh, they're probably worse."

* * *

"Kay, kay, kay!" A tanned-skinned barefoot man wearing a full white outfit chanted with insane glee to his voice. In his hand was a bamboo stick he had managed to fashion with the few scarce materials his "helpers" lent him, "Now me gon' have da big fun in me hometown!"

He took several steps back, similarly dressed men watching him as he did. When he felt he had enough distance to make a good enough momentum for a jump, he sprinted, hollaing like the crazy man on drugs that he was. Slamming the end of the bamboo stick on the ground, he pulled back and quickly released as though it was a slingshot.

And the momentum did the rest.

"Kay! Kay! Kay! Me a coming Tachi!"

Once the volume of his voice vanished in the distance silence returned to the yard, though it took all of five seconds before the crowd realized he wasn't coming back, and an uproar of relief exploded from them all.

"Yessss! He's gone!"

"Finally, the craziest's among of us is dead!"

"There must be a god!"

Inside a office, a man in a uniform was pacing back and forth in an near panic, "Not good. Patient 312 has escaped the premises!"

Another man in a similarly designed uniform had a very different opinion than his colleague as he was slumped lazily over a chair, "Good! Let the nutter go!"

"How can you say that? What if he causes mischief?"

"Ptff! Like that'll happen! Dumbass will probably end up killing himself before he even attempts to reach his home."

"Yeah, but-."

"And besides, do you really wanna hear, "Kikiki, kay, kay" another second?"

The silence that suddenly seemed surprisingly comforting was all the answer he needed.

"Ugh, god no."

"Thought so. Now about we pop out the champagne and celebrate the official 'release' of Principle Kuno," Regardless of the fact that he was sentenced here for life, but they could just ignore that little piece of important information.

"I'll second that." He said, happy with his 180 as he danced over to the cabinet to pull out a bottle of the aforementioned beverage, "Tell you what," He started as he ripped out the cork, "If he does, by chance, get to civilisation I feel sorry to anyone who'll have to put up with him."

"May god help them."

"Won't we get in trouble?"

"Fuck no."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because we're nameless fodder! No one gives a shit about us!"

"Oh yeah *laughs.* I forgot."

Sometimes, it was good being a blank character.

* * *

"Yeahhhhh…" Ukyo drawled out with a glare past Akane into open space from the shiver of cold intuition she had just received.

"What's wrong?" Akane asked.

"I just got that feeling that I hit closer to the nail than I would've liked," Ukyo specified.

"I hate that," The aspiring martial artist said to offer her a form of solace, "It's akin to squeezing and having the gut feeling that it was caused by someone talking about you," She shivered herself, "Spooky."

"Yep," Ukyo agreed, dismissing the superstitious convenience to return to the matter at hand, "As I was saying before… that happened, yeah, even the idiot Kuno siblings could be someone respectable with a guy like Kisuke guiding them. Hell, Kuno's already on that path."

"Even Upperclassman Kuno's improving from Mr Urahara's lecture?!" Mouth wide open, Akane mentally cleaned out her ears. She wanted to be sure she heard right.

"You heard right," Ukyo clarified, "Even that thick-headed moron is showing signs of being a better person, and all because of Mr Urahara's words."

That was it. That was all the proof Akane needed to know that Mr Urahara was amazing if he could get through to someone as hard-headed and apparently just as hard of hearing as Kuno was, "No wonder big sister Kasumi thought positively of Ichigo when he came by yesterday to pick up Ranma's things. He must a great guy with such a great influence in his life."

Ukyo lifted an eyebrow, "Didn't you meet him yesterday?"

"No," Akane confessed, turning her regretful gaze from Ukyo's, "I was kind of embarrassed to." She didn't know why.

Fortunately, Ukyo had an idea of why she hesitated to interact with Ichigo, "I got ya," Ukyo said, "You got cold feet."

"Ukyo…"

"Lemme finish first," She requested, getting Akane to hold her tongue just out of respect for her politeness, "Hearing that he had swept our love interest from right under our noses left you feeling jealous, and insecure. You asked yourself, 'what does that jerk have that I don't? And why is it special enough to convince Ranma to be a girl to be with him?" She turned on her heel, looking out into the vastness as she continued on with her breakdown of Akane's psyche, "So, whether you mean to or not, you instinctively pin the blame on Ranma, like she left you for him just to get back at ya."

She turned back to Akane to study her reaction, and her gaze softened, "But then you know, 'if I go down there, actually meet and interact with this guy she's supposedly enamored of, I might actually find out that he's really a stand-up dude, and then that little justification would shatter the defensive barrier I had set up to protect my insecurities."

"Oh Ukyo…" Akane whispered, words of gratitude lost on the tip of her tongue, "How…"

Ukyo offered her a comforting smile, "That was me after all. On the way back here I was in denial of everything that recently happened, of Ranma wanting to be a girl now, that I couldn't do a damn thing about it, and I blamed Ranma," She banished her thoughts with a shake of the head, "Until I got off the train with the others and saw Ichigo, just waiting to head back to her."

"So," Akane said, eager to get Ukyo's view on Ichigo now that she knew she wasn't alone on her hesitance to interact with the orange-haired young man.

"Do you really want my honest opinion on him?" Ukyo asked with a dry look that told Akane she didn't know what she was asking of her.

"Yeah." What was she getting the feeling that this was her funeral?

"Well okay then," Ukyo shrugged, "Honestly, I still think he's a jackass."

Akane almost fell over, but managed to catch herself in a comical stumble with a similar expression on her face, "Huh?" How contradictory could one person get with just a single statement? "Ukyo, what the hell?"

"Okay, maybe I should've phrased that differently?"

"Uh, you think?!"

Ukyo coolly ignored Akane's sarcastic question like it was never uttered, "He's not as much as a jackass as the other guys around here."

"But he still is!" Akane glared at her in annoyance.

"Every guy is a jackass to a degree, sugar," Ukyo returned.

The generic computerized phrase of "Does not compute" would've been perfect to sum up Akane's sheer confusion, "Huh?" Ukyo's nod left her even more puzzled, and when she didn't understand something she got mad, "But that makes no sense! How can someone be a jerk to an extent!? Honestly!"

"How could you occasionally call Ranchan a jerk but like her guy side?" Ukyo retorted, and her smooth deflection only heightened Akane's temper.

"That's because he had his mo-." Just before the word could slip past her lips, a look of realization appeared on her face, getting a pointed glance from Ukyo, "Moments…"

"Precisely," Ukyo said, "Everyone has their moments of assholery, but it's whether they're assholes twenty/seven that makes 'em complete assholes."

"Wow," Akane murmured, rubbing her arm bashfully, "I never thought about it like that… maybe…" She paused as her face scrunched up, "…Maybe I judge people too harshly."

"You do," Ukyo said, quickly appeasing Akane's temper before her non-sugar coated agreement could grate anymore on her nerves, "But you are only human, and humans make mistakes. That don't mean we can't fix 'em to better ourselves."

That helpful continuance from Ukyo's blunt agreement easily kept the lid on the red hot boiling pot that symbolized Akane's temper, though instead of gawking at her like last time Akane did a 180, playfully mocking her with a giggle, "Watch it Ukyo. You're starting to sound like an old lady now."

This friendly joke actually managed to tickle Ukyo's funny bone a bit unlike the last one as she struck a cheeky grin, "Got it from an old man after all."

Akane flexed her own grin, but hers was likened more to a person hearing an obvious joke, "Let me guess, Mr Urahara right?"

"Yep."

"I would really like to meet him now," Akane stated, twirling off to the side to gaze above the clouds as her hair and dress billowed gently in the wind, "Well, anyone in Karakura really. They all sound like nice people."

"Well, I know Mr Urahara and Ichigo are cool," Ukyo said to appease Akane's desire to visit Karakura, "Not sure about anyone else though, like that cat-lady person. But she's probably alright too."

Akane's eyes filled with horror as her mind blocked out every single word in Ukyo's sentence barring the only animal that held any real weight over Ranma, "Wait. What?"

"What?"

"What was that you said about a cat-lady?"

"Oh that? Ichigo had some talking cat on his head. Said the thing trained him."

The fact that a cat could train anyone didn't even bother Akane at the very moment, "Did the cat say it was going to meet Ranma?"

The widened eyes of Ukyo solidified the feared suspicion Akane had felt since she brought up that Ranma's boyfriend's mentor was a cat lady, "Uh, not that I can recall."

Akane frantically clasped at straws even if she knew deep down she was only delaying the inevitable answer, "Did you at least tell Ichigo Ranma HATES cats."

Ukyo had to essentially pry open her mouth as her face was scrunched up in frustration.

"And please don't tell me if you didn't!"

Then her face eased up into dry nonchalance.

"Okay, I won't tell ya."

"Ukyo!"

"Calm down," The tomboy suggested as she took out her phone with a plan in mind to pacify Akane's worry, "Look, Ichigo gave me his number so I could keep in touch with him and Ranchan. I'll ring him and he can tell us if she's alright or not."

"Okay!" Akane accepted with a very noticeable tremble to her voice.

There wasn't nothing Ukyo would've been able to do to stop the softened sympathetic gaze from coming to her eyes as she looked from her contacts to Akane. The girl looked like a nervous rack, shivering with her arms hugged on her bosom.

"Hey, it's going to be alright, you know," Ukyo said, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder, "I mean, this is Ranchan we're talking about, and Ichigo ain't no joke either. The guy took us all on, on a building, and even after it collapsed, was still able to walk off like nothing happened. They'll be fine!" She insisted as she found Ichigo's name in her contacts and clicked on it, "Hell, I'll bet they'll laughing about the whole thing now."

Ukyo's encouragement of the prowess of both Ichigo and Ranma made her feel a little more confident that her old fiancee was okay despite seemingly coming face to face with a cat.

"I guess."

Still, no words of vouching of either's godlike achievements would ever truly put her mind at ease than hearing from Ranma herself that she was okay.

* * *

 _BLEACH_

 **X**

 **X**

 **X**

 _Ranma 1/2_

* * *

XxX

(With Ranma and Ichigo – Moments Earlier)

Ranma was one hell of a liar, Ichigo thought as he watched her piece together a plausible cover story to successfully sell to his family so they leave leaving them with a false peace in mind believing they were in a romantic location.

The story she had pitched to his family was simple enough. They would use the window of opportunity the eradication of Karakura High School had opened up to take a short trip across town to really enjoy the extended 'vacation' but it was the way she had sold it to them that shocked Ichigo, inwardly at the time of course.

She sounded so convincing he had to tell himself that he hadn't just accepted the invitation of some super criminal mastermind.

The smirk she had given him the moment they had stepped out of the house after Isshin and Yuzu had tearfully hugged her goodbye sent a shiver down his spine.

This girl was devious.

"You never told me you could lie like that," Ichigo said to make idle conversation with a gym bag slung over his shoulder. He wasn't wearing anything fancy or spectacular for the occasion, merely dressing in his usual casual laid-back fashion. A midnight blue dress shirt underneath a matching coloured waist-high jacket. Both complemented his black skinny jeans and shoes.

Ranma shrugged with her own classic bag strapped onto her arms and back, holding onto the straps as she moved beside Ichigo as though she was going to school, wearing a sleeveless purple blouse, dark blue Gi pants, and martial arts pumps on her feet, "Lying's easy." She had taken Yuzu's advice of branching out and actually fashioned her hair in a loose ponytail, with the dragon string of course.

One never knew. One minute she's perfectly fine and the next BAM! Inconvenient hot water appears out of nowhere to turn her back into a guy, leaving her screwed.

It wouldn't have been the first time.

Still, it felt incredibly off to have her hair fashioned in anyway that wasn't braided, like she was undergoing a metamorphosis. Regardless, for the sake of versatility, she would try out this new style to see how it suited her, because Ranma Saotome was very adaptable.

"For you maybe," Ichigo grumped, turning his sulky face away from her and critically missing the sparkle of mischievous opportunity that occurred in Ranma's cerulean right eye.

"You're just too innocent," She remarked with a pretence of nonchalance.

Ichigo gave Ranma the satisfaction that she had gotten to him when he twirled back to her with a look of flabbergasted disgust painted all over his countenance, "What? Me? Innocent!?" What you talking about fool?

"You ain't going deaf, pal."

"Hell no! How the hell am I innocent!?"

"You need me to spell it out for ya?" Ranma asked with an undisguised chuckle at Ichigo's overreaction.

Ichigo flailed his arms around with a look of mock recognition as though he were humouring a wise-guy before blurting out acerbically, "By all means, be my guest teach!"

"You're a goody-two-shoes," Ranma stated bluntly as though that explained it all, going on to further elucidate, "Don't cha know it's hard for goodies to do bad. Lying falls under the category of bad."

Ichigo's expression dried up, "Guess innocent and goody-two-shoes would fall under the same genre, huh?"

Before validating his statement, Ranma hopped onto a conveniently placed wall they stumbled upon to pat her boyfriend patronizingly on the head, getting him to tussle it off angrily, "There ya go, now you're getting it."

Goddamn troll.

"So what would that make ya then?" Ichigo asked, giving her a glare even if it was noticeably sobered from him throwing in the towel from the last round.

Ranma crossed her arms and let out a thoughtful hum, truthfully considering his question and pondering over it, "Meh, I'm in between," She shrugged, jerking a thumb at herself, "I can do good and bad, and depending the circumstances and the person I've done bad to, I may or may not feel bad about it."

"Of course…" He said with a tone that suggested he expected the answer, but didn't necessarily accept it. With a snicker, Ranma followed him on his pursuit to their destination before they were stopped by a voice Ichigo appeared to recognize by the acknowledgement on his face once they came past a stoplight.

"Is that…?" Ichigo stopped, turning his head to glance past the stop light and across the street to see two of his close school friends, the one that had called him had a hand propped on his forehead as though it was really enhancing his vision, "It is!"

"Keigo, Mizuiro," Ichigo acknowledged, mostly for Ranma's benefit seeing as he used his indoor voice.

They hadn't planned on crossing the street so they didn't bother being generous enough to meet two of Ichigo's illegitimate crewmates halfway, letting them come to them. Mostly so Ranma didn't have to leave her perch on top of the wall she had now couched upon.

Once the two caught up to them and Ranma's eyes had been pulled to the delicious icy cold treats of sugary goodness in each of the boys' hands she felt karma had to have had a hand in that as a consequence of not meeting the two half way.

A really out there theory, but hey, it wouldn't be the first time of fate screwing her over.

'Ice… cream…' Ranma donned on in her head in a zombie-like tone with her eyes twirling around like a particular kind of candy.

"What's going on, dude?" Keigo asked, offering his free hand in a high five/fist bump combination via way of greeting, which Ichigo accepted.

"Nothing much," Ichigo said to his friends in the dark of his shinigami business, turning to Ranma. He had to lift an eyebrow at her intensive stare at the ice creams on display. Did she really like ice cream that much? "Just using the absence from school to spend time with Ranma."

Keigo and Mizuiro blinked at her mention, remembering the girl they agreed was free-spirited and quite eccentric after seeing her just sauntering on a wall. Who just does that stuff anyway? "Ranma?" Keigo voiced for both of them, looking at the attractive red-haired girl beside Ichigo, who shrugged at the sudden spotlight put on her.

"That's me," She clarified, "Nice ta meetcha."

"Oh, well it's likewise a pleasure to meet your acquaintance too, Ranma. I'm Mizuiro Kojima," Mizuiro smiled pleasantly, having his good mood immediately rained on and dampened by the wisecrack that slipped from the girl's mouth.

"Good, because I was just gonna call ya nameless fodder Two. Sixteen."

"Hahahaha! She got ya good there dude!"

"What'cha laughing at… nameless fodder Two. Seventeen?"

"Hey!" Keigo shouted indignantly, prepared to defend his case of being a recognizable character in this series, "I ain't nobody! I'll have ya know I'm Keigo Asano." He finished with a sparkling smile and a thumb-ups.

"Who?"

"You know, Keigo?"

You know, like she should know of the highly renowned Keigo Asano of something so prevalent even a guy living underneath a rock would know of him. Ranma found his desperation to prove his identify amusing. Like a big sister watching her little brother prove his toughness.

"Sorry. Never heard of ya."

Keigo slumped his shoulders into the dumps, "Why always me?" How could such a beautiful girl be so annoying at the same time? That had to be a crime against nature in his opinion, "Who are you anyway?"

Ranma grinned, lifting herself up from her couched position and laying an elbow on Ichigo's shoulder, leaning casually against him, "One of the main characters."

"Noooooooooo!"

"And his girl."

Keigo immediately stopped his theatrical bawling to the heavens to give her a blank look, "Huh?"

"Your ears don't need cleaning out pal," Ranma assured, smiling dryly.

Keigo shifted his blank gaze to Ichigo, whose straight-faced expression could have all but validated the girl's brazen statement if he didn't always have the best poker face even on his worst days, "Seriously, dude?"

"You heard," Ichigo confirmed, only to be immediately embraced afterwards, "Keigo, private space! Please!"

"Aw, he's happy for you."

"No shit. He would've been happy if I just talked to one."

"Way to go, dude! You're totally in there!" Keigo chirped, giving Ichigo a few hearty pats on the shoulders before backing up, "Took you a while though. I almost thought you were batting for the other team."

"What the hell did ya just say?"

"I mean, I always knew you were just waiting for your type to sit into your lap. Don't hurt me!"

"Yeah…" The hazel-eyed youth said lowly, ignoring Ranma's stifled laughter as his glared at the paled Keigo, "That's what I "thought" you said too."

Before the silence could get too awkward Mizuiro decided that then would have been a good a time as any to part ways, "Well it was good to see you outside of school, Ichigo."

Ichigo gave a nod of acknowledgement and cordiality Mizuiro's way, "Yeah. You too, Mizuiro."

With that under wraps, he nodded and turned his attention to the wisecracker of the two, "It was… interesting meeting you, Ranma." He couldn't exactly say it was nice being embarrassed by the girl, but it was interesting to know that his de-facto leader had a girlfriend now.

"Back at cha, girly," Ranma teased, not being able to help herself. With his very feminine facial features and girly hairstyle, he didn't need a sign on his back saying such. She could tell she had gotten to him because his pleasant smile strained noticeably, "Diss ya later, Keigo."

"Later Ichigo, later Ranma," Keigo returned, too focused on coming to grips in his own mind that another one of his friends had a girlfriend to really grasp the insinuation that she was going to target him later as he sauntered off with Mizuiro in tow, shaking his head, "First Chado, now Ichigo. Man, I gotta step my game up."

After seeing them off, both Ranma and Ichigo continued on their journey, with the redhead dropping her arm from a wave she had given the two, "They seem nice." Ranma idly commented in their aftermath.

"Yeah, they're straight," Ichigo replied to validate Ranma's observation of his friends, "Not very strong though. We gotta protect 'em if they're ever getting hassled by the local pricks around here, and trust me, they're lots of 'em."

"Roger that." It was a martial artist's duty to protect the weak and the innocent. "So did your other pal Chado get hooked up recently too. Cuz that's the vibe I got from Keigo with his, 'I've got to step my game up' need."

Ichigo palmed his forehead at having forgot to at least idly inform Ranma that one of her old neighbors was partnered up with his right hand man, "Yeah actually," He began, glaring off into nothing before looking at her, "Remember that Shampoo-girl who landed on your face the other day?"

"How can I forget?" Ranma asked with a dry smile that she wouldn't have to put up with the Amazonian's shenanigans and actually recalling her, "She woulda continued chasing me to other side of the flipping continent just cuz I beat her, but if what I think happened actually happened, then I don't have to worry about that anymore."

"Not sure what you mean exactly, but she's Chad's now," Ichigo summarized.

"Awesome!" Ranma chirped, throwing her arms up in the air, "That's her off of my butt. Man, I feel sorry for Chado. Once you beat an Amazon lady, she won't quit pursuing ya till one of ya winds up in the grave." Or the guy just surrounds and agrees to the terms of the Amazonian's rule. Whichever came first.

"That how Chad caught her?" Ichigo pondered, cupping his chin.

"Had to," Ranma shrugged, "Otherwise she'd still be chasing me now."

"Well, he seemed happy with her yesterday, so I guess it all works out."

"That's cool," Ranma said before clarifying, "I mean, I'd hope so, otherwise we'll have a Shampoo to put up with."

"Ugh, don't remind me."

"Probably won't anyway," The redhead shrugged, clenching her fists and her arms to the sides as her excitement bubbled rapidly in the pit of her stomach. Not being able to hold it in any longer she released it and her arms in an uproar, "Alright! I'm even losing the fiancees! I could really go for some ice cream to celebrate!"

"You really like ice cream," Ichigo commented with a strained dry smile on his features. Did she have to overreact like that? Don't make a scene or anything, "Wait. You had fiancees?"

Ranma smiled sheepishly, realizing she was with someone who had no idea of the suitors who once vied for her hand, "Not literally, more like admirers, and most of 'em were just plain nuts!" She shivered at the insanity and persistence of her old suitors, "If it weren't that then it's indomitable persistence. Ugh, you'll never meet anyone as bullheaded as the guys from Nerima."

"Ugh, don't remind me," Ichigo reiterated. Confronting them in virtual reality would've been enough for a lifetime, but facing them in reality too? Yeah Ichigo might have to consider tending therapy to regain his sanity.

Ranma pulled them to a stop, drifting behind him to snake her arms around his neck. It also helped that Ichigo didn't fight her need to cuddle, and faced away from the wall so she wouldn't fall off of it, "Aw, was Ichi-chan driven too far up the wall by the nut jobs yesterday?" She teased in a sweet voice.

"No shit."

"Well if that Mr Urahara-guy did a good enough job of straightening the others out as he did Ucchan we shouldn't have to worry about 'em again," Ranma said to offer some solace to Ichigo, setting her chin on his shoulder, "Now, how would ya like to become the best fella in the world by buying me some ice cream?"

Before Ichigo could indulge Ranma a musical beat reverberated from somewhere on his lower person.

"What's that?" Ranma asked, tracing the techno beat to Ichigo's skinny jeans.

"Hang on," He requested, digging into his pocket and pulling out a cell phone, getting a blink of realization from Ranma.

"Oh?" She admittedly stared with too much fascination and for longer than someone should've looked at a model-day communication device used to easily keep in touch with others even from a great distance and reached them for urgent matters, but having grew up on the road such devices were a wonder to her, especially when they were in action.

"It's Ukyo," Ichigo stated, pressing a dial with a small green-coloured phone symbol printed on it before pressing the phone to his ear, greeting the caller nonchalantly, "Yo."

" _Hey, sugar!"_ Was the bright return greeting of the chef on the other end, " _How've you been_?"

"Good."

" _What about Ranchan?_ "

"Also good."

" _Good,_ " Ukyo repeated, her voice growing shaky with her next question, _"So, did she meet that cat-lady sensei of yours yesterday?_ "

"Didn't she!" The hard tone of annoyance Ichigo had used told Ukyo the dreaded meeting between his sensei and Ranma had come to pass in the worst possible manner both she and Akane had been fearing of for all of five minutes ago.

Ukyo had the decency to sound undoubtedly sheepish as she owed up to her mistake, " _Guess I should've told ya of Ranchan's cat phobia, huh?_ "

"No shit." Ichigo said bluntly, eliciting a round of laughter, nervous as it was, from Ukyo.

" _Sorry. Kinda slipped my mind with what happened yesterday_."

"It's cool," He insisted, looking behind him when he felt Ranma slip from his back. The girl placed her hands on her hips, giving him a wordless look of expectation that got him to make his own shrugging gestures defensively.

" _Uh, Ichigo. You still there?_ " Ukyo's unsure voice breaking through the barrier of Ichigo's palm ended the soundless banter between the two, wondering if the line inexplicably went dead despite the friendly nature of the conversation they were having.

"Ah, yeah! I'm here!" Ichigo hurried, making his girlfriend pout with her arms crossed as she thought she was being ignored, "Hey, listen. Ranma's right here with me. Want me to put her on?" That rearranged her frown quickly enough.

" _You read my mind,"_ Ukyo quipped, " _I was actually just gonna ask that. Akane's been worried sick since I told her Ranchan's new fella has a cat for a sensei._ "

"Who?"

" _You know, Akane_?"

Still nothing.

" _Akane Tendo_." Why was this feeling similar?

"I get the Tendo reference, but who is she?" Ichigo probed, which was an honest-to-good question in his mind. He didn't know who Akane Tendo was and what her relation to Ranma was either. He only knew her as a possible relative to Kasumi and Soun, and even that was iffy logic to him because he had never asked either if Soun had more children than just Kasumi, what with being preoccupied with actually dealing with the ornery patriarch of the Tendo Dojo and his friend.

"Oh give it here!" Too bad his own curiosity would have to take a backseat as Ranma had grown tired of being in the backstage, leaning over his shoulder and snatching his cell out of his hand.

"Okay," Ichigo deadpanned, but made no move to take back his cell as he placed his hands on his hips, "Rude."

In response to being admonished in a mostly uncaring way, Ranma stuck her tongue out at Ichigo, "Serves ya right for taking too long," As Ichigo spared her a quick glare before looking away, Ranma sighed and dropped down to a sitting position on the wall, crossing one leg over the other, "Why don't ya take a walk around the block for a sec." And buy her some ice cream, "This might take a while."

"Fine," Ichigo accepted, realizing she was probably close to that Akane-girl if she was worried enough about her to get Ukyo to ring him for an update on her status. Ranma was obviously close to Ukyo seeing as the two girls had endearing nicknames for the other, "Back in ten." Seeing no reason to carry it with him, he dropped his gym holding a set of spare clothes by Ranma.

Ranma beamed, watching her boyfriend saunter off before pressing the cell phone next to her ear, greeting two of her more favourable old suitors brightly, "S'up ladies!"

In unison, they both called out her name in their own way with noticeable breaths of relief, "Ranma/Ranchan." It was Ukyo who continued though, "Boy, does it sound good to hear your voice again sugar."

"The feeling's mutual Ucchan," Ranma insisted with a soft smile on her face.

" _Level with us here, Ranchan,_ " Ukyo pushed, sounding wry, " _How badly wrecked is your new pad now, you know, after your cat episode?_ "

" _Ukyo!"_ She could hear Akane reprimanding her childhood friend, and it warmed her heart. Even after all the fights they'd had there was still a chance of them starting over, as potential friends.

" _What? I'm just saying!_ " Ukyo jokingly defended herself, causing Ranma to snicker, " _You know she'd to have thrashed their place in that berserker state of hers."_

" _Humph. And whose fault was that huh_?"

" _Alright, I'll admit it. I screwed up not warning Ichigo beforehand, but you need to let it go, girl."_

" _I'll 'let it go' once Ranma and Ichigo have a home that isn't thrashed thank you!_ "

"It actually ain't as messed-up as you're picturing Akane," Ranma interjected, because as amusing as it was hearing Akane and Ukyo banter for a change instead of it being her and Akane, all good things had to come to an end, "Not even close."

That gave the bantering duo over the line pause for all of a second before they let off a simultaneous, " _Huh_?" This time it was Akane who continued in Ukyo's stead, " _What do you mean, Ranma? Is Ichigo really that strong?_ "

"Never had to go into my berserker mode," Ranma summarized, "Ichi-chan shooed away the cat and comforted me. Later, the cat came back, but in her human form. She's actually pretty cool. She's even offered to train me."

" _Wow, Ranma, that's really nice,_ " Akane remarked, admittedly sounding more sorrowful than a person complimenting another should, " _You must be having a good time._ "

"Oh, I'm having the time of my life!" Ranma remarked, though the cheerful assurance really wasn't something Akane wanted to hear despite predicting such moments ago.

" _Guess you won't be coming home then,_ " She said with a wistful sigh. It was obviously a moot point now. All of Ranma's belongings were at the Kurosakis now, but still, Akane still had to try and guilt trip her into returning to Nerima.

It wasn't going to happen though, "This is my home now, Akane," Ranma stated softly, letting the guilt train whiz away with a sigh, "I'm happy here. The people I've met actually like me and don't treat me like crap."

She didn't mean to insinuate the residents in Nerima didn't treat her with the respect that she felt was due and instead treated her as dirt, but Akane took it that way, " _Well then, if we treated you so bad, then you can just stay away from us and rot where you are!_ " Ugh, typical. If Ranma wasn't sticking her foot into her mouth and blurting out something sensitive to upset Akane, then Akane was misinterpreting her intentions and getting upset anyway.

"Akane…" Ranma requested impatiently, feeling bad as she could hear the girl holding back tearful sniffles. Darn conscious, "That's not what I meant."

" _Well, then what did you mean hu-!?"_ Just before Akane could elevate the argument with a curt demand, her voice broke away as if the line had died.

"Huh?" Ranma blinked her sapphire eyes, inhaling in realization when the sheepish laughter of Ukyo was heard next. Clearly, she had snatched the phone out of Akane's hand before the girl could go off on one. That much was obvious to Ranma.

" _Give us a sec Ranchan. Won't be long._ " And the line immediately quietened, but didn't die out.

"Uhhh, okay."

XxX

"You need to calm down girl," Ukyo recommended, but her strict no-nonsense tone as she held her cell away from her fuming friend made it sound like a command instead of the suggestion that it was.

"But Ukyo!" Akane began to angrily protest her innocence as she stomped her foot on the ground, but Ukyo's hard stance wouldn't waver, "You heard that jerk! She said we all treated her like dirt! Honestly!"

Typical narrow-minded Akane Tendo, quick to jump and trigger the gun with no tact whatsoever. She was just lucky that Ukyo had more than enough tact to compensate for the both of them, "Okay," Ukyo started with a sigh, "One; she didn't. She may have IMPLIED such, but she didn't outright say it, so calm down. And two, put yourself in her shoes for a second."

Ukyo's lecturing suggestion was enough on its own to cool down Akane's temper, leaving her puzzled, "Huh?"

However, the chef elite wasn't left restless or annoyed at Akane's lack of quick understanding. She was a cool customer. Akane had to give her that much, "You have a bunch of jackasses all wanting a piece of ya, your old man doesn't do crap but add fuel to the flame, and to make matters worse your supposedly 'legit' fiancee is at your throat about it all."

To Akane's credit, she didn't flip out despite the blatant implication of her being a nuisance to Ranma, probably because Ukyo sort of implied she was the real fiancee in doing so, even if she said it with a hint of sarcasm. While the Ukyo of old wouldn't have been caught dead even implying that back in the day, it was redundant now.

None of them had won.

"The least we could all do now is give her a break," Ukyo continued seeing Akane respectfully engrossed in her lecture, "Even if she's saying she found nicer folks to mingle with." Her face visibly scrunched up from the repressed sadness at that last part.

"I… see your point," Akane admitted begrudgingly, bashfully squirming from being admonished by someone that was of her age group.

"Thank you!" Ukyo smiled pleasantly, holding up her cell, her grin drying up, "Wanna try this again without blowing a fuse?"

"Okay," Akane nodded.

Ukyo ran a hand through her hair with an exhale before putting her cell back on loud speaker so they could both interact with the redhead, "Sorry, Ranchan. You still there?"

" _Yeah, it's cool_ ," Ranma assured, though a clear yawn was heard.

Ukyo smirked, "Were ya waiting long?"

" _Oh no. I mean, the cows passed by, but I don't think they got home._ " Ranma joked, drawing a chuckle and a small giggle out of Ukyo and Akane respectively. That was one thing that didn't change about her, and that was her tendency to utter a wisecrack.

"Still a smart ass, I see," Ukyo shook her head at the familiarity of it all while her childhood friend snickered, "Listen, sugar. I think Akane has something to say to ya."

She gave the girl at her side a penetrating glare and for several seconds, Akane debated with herself whether or not she should return it ten folds until she realized she did kind of react unfairly to Ranma's positive outlook on Karakura that mirrored her negative one on Nerima, thus acquiesced.

"Fine…" Akane grumped, sucking it up and soldiering the victory smile on Ukyo's face. She hated losing much less admitting defeat, "Listen, Ranma," She sighed, "I'm sorry." There! She said it! Was she happy?

" _It's alright._ "

"It's just, you left in such a hurry, it-." But the words wouldn't come out.

" _Never planned for things to play out like this_ ," Fortunately, Ranma sensed that and interjected as if to offer a semblance of solace to her, " _Then I got to know 'em and fell head-over-heels for the place,"_ She went silence for several seconds, _"…And Ichi-chan. Like, I came out my shell or something_." Because she did.

"I see," Akane didn't necessarily like that but she could at least accept and understand where the now red-haired girl was coming from, "Well, I'm glad you're happy, Ranma."

" _I am_." Ranma ended, her voice soft yet full of conviction. There was nothing more to say on the topic other than that, " _So what's the latest news in Nerima? Anything new stirred up since my departure."_

Ukyo nonchalantly pondered her friend's request, grateful that they could just talk like this, "Whaddya wanna hear _?"_

" _Dunno. Anything juicy, I guess."_

"Well you'll be left disappointed there. All the good stuff only happened when you were around."

" _Darn, that sucks! And here I was all pumped up to hear something exciting without having to stir it up for once. You guys just ain't influential."_ Like her.

"Well actually, if you must know, my big sister Nabiki hasn't come home since last night."

" _See? Now THAT'S what I'm talking about_! _Don't hold out on me. Spill the beans!_ "

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

* * *

XxX

(With Ichigo)

Ichigo could take a hint.

Ranma really loved ice cream. That much was obvious from the hard stare she gave to the cones in the hands of his school friends, and if that wasn't concrete enough then her saucily asking him to buy her some certainly was.

He definitely wasn't going to refuse her request for a treat, thus missing the chance to have a moment of intimate closeness with her. He enjoyed just being in close proximity with her, never mind touching her, thus he was all for indulging her desire for ice cream.

With that he crossed the street Keigo and Mizuiro had come from and made his way to an ice parlour, only to pause as he heard it.

 _Yeah, Three 6 Ma-fi-AH!_

 _Say whaaaat? Three 6 Ma-fi-AH! It's goin down_

 _Y'all know what time it is_

 _We ain't playin wit'cha_

 _In the club, in the street..._

 _Y'all know what time it is?_

 _Get ready for it! Ohhh_

 _Step up ready_

 _Yessir!_

…A rap tune playing at an obnoxiously loud volume.

He assumed it was just some punk delinquent who had grown too big for their own britches, thus kept walking. He had more important… issues to tend to, namely getting in some Ranma-alone time before they'd inevitably link up with his old mentors.

But the rap song never quietened, no matter how much distance he had put between himself and it, which was weird in of itself. The further anyone was from a sound they quieter it should've been to them. That was just common sense to Ichigo. Testing his theory out, Ichigo circled the block, but the volume of the annoying rap song never deceased.

 _Somebody gon' get they ass kicked_

 _Somebody gon' get their wig split_

 _Somebody gon' get they ass kicked_

 _Somebody gon' get their wig split_

 _Beat 'em up, beat 'em up, break his neck, break his neck_

 _Beat 'em up, beat 'em up, break his neck, break his neck_

 _Beat 'em up, beat 'em up, break his neck, break his neck_

 _Beat 'em up, beat 'em up, break his neck, break his neck_

It was starting to get seriously annoying now. As if he didn't already hate rap, it was like whoever was playing this one was explicitly shouting in his face that he was going to get his ass handed to him on a silver platter.

Never one to walk away with his tail between his legs from an open-challenge, Ichigo found his way to an alleyway, calling out to his stalker in a loud audacious voice he hoped would be heard, "Alright, I know you're there! Show yourself already!" He may have sucked at sensing reiatsu, but he didn't need to sense anything with music thundering in his ear, especially a genre he didn't like.

Ichigo's eyes would've just widened at the entry of his apparent stalker alone if it were just that, but his freaky, bizarre human/hollow hybrid appearance filled his eyes with disbelief too.

"What… the fuck is this guy?" Ichigo murmured.

 _I never need bod', how could I be scared of a man?_

 _I walk through this land like I run this land_

 _Never can you imagine the pain that I bring_

 _If I said I'mma do it in the streets it's the same_

 _It's the_ _ **K-I-N, G**_ _in here_

 _Wildest man in the world and I have no fear_

 _I'm the mean in the mean, the nightmare dream_

 _The root of all evil, the weak fear me, yeah!_

Despite revealing himself as par Ichigo's order, the rather brassy hybrid ignored his presence, continuing to rock his head to the audacious lyrical beat coming from the classical boom box on his shoulder. He was ripped, wearing a white sleeved-up jacket, baggy white hakama, and black socks and plain white sandals on his feet.

Of course, his sword sheathed on his hip didn't exude Ichigo's sight either.

It might have just been him and the fact that his hair wasn't exactly what one would consider the norm, but the mane of spiky blue hair on the bizarre hybrid's head was the only thing that made Ichigo feel somewhat secure about himself. And security was most needed. The clear hole in the hybrid's gut and the jaw-shaped mask on the left side of his face had already unnerved Ichigo greatly as it was.

"Hey!" Ichigo tried to get his attention, because watching a hybrid jam out to a rap song was decidedly awkward. He still wouldn't acknowledge Ichigo despite the curt demand, and that left the ginger-warrior truly annoyed, "Hey, damn it! You gonna turn that crap down or what!?"

Ichigo's answer came in the form of the bird.

Oh.

So that's how he wanted to roll, "…Have it your way," Ichigo glared, taking the badge off of the side of his jeans. While he normally wouldn't ever resort to using his Shinigami form to settle a fight with a normal delinquent, this clearly wasn't a normal delinquent. The freaky humanoid hollow definitely wanted a fight too otherwise he would have turned off his rap song and talked to him.

So thank goodness he kept the substitute badge on him.

Like neatly shredding a shell off of him, Ichigo's Shinigami-garbed- self slid seamlessly out of his physical body, and his body fell in a slump to the ground below.

"Maybe this will shut ya up!" Ichigo roared, charging forward. In one smooth motion, he unsheathed his bandaged-wrapped sword, with the bandages unfurling themselves, before he smashed his cleaver-shaped sword forward, right into the unmoving elbow of the blue-haired humanoid, "The hell!"

…This was bad.

 _I'm a crazy { motherfucker} and I'm comin through the do'_

 _Quick to whup you up and knock yo' ass to the flo'_

 _Think I'm playin wit'cha but this fist gon' hit'cha_

 _Always in the hood, #1 wig splitter_

 _Never try to step cause you know you can't compeeete_

 __Live By Yo' Rep_ or get throwed in the streeeet_

 _This boy about to act up, you better call for backup_

 _I'll be the next fool in the hood, bodies stacked up_

After that verse ended, the song was prematurely stopped by a press of a button, "Name's Grimmjow Jaggerjack," Grimmjow said at last, voice full of cocky arrogance, chucking the boom box away, "And for the next five minutes, Shinigami, you're gonna be my bitch!"

So brazen and direct, but Ichigo couldn't think of Grimmjow's characteristics from what the asshole had actually declared him as, "Excuse me!?" A solid punch to his jaw was his answer, housing enough force to send him flying backward, 'Damn it!' He hadn't been hit _that_ hard since his trials in the Soul Society.

Another loud burst of whatever that speed technique Grimmjow was utilizing was, and the antagonist was in front of him. Desperately, Ichigo swung his sword horizontally to defend himself from Grimmjow's powerful punches, but the hybrid casually swayed to his side, drilling an elbow to the back of his head.

Ichigo fell to one knee, but was immediately lifted back to his feet by a vicious punt from Grimmjow who bellowed maniacally at the same time, driving a punch straight into Ichigo's solar plexus that forced blood from his mouth.

The force generated from the punch could only take him so far, to the end of the alleyway, before Grimmjow utilized another burst of the unknown speed technique to dart behind him, planting a kick to his spine that hurled him skyward.

'Damn it! He's owning me!' Ichigo gathered reishi, aka spirit particles, underneath his feet and on his hand, slamming his palm off of the air itself as though it was a wall to slid to a perpendicular stop in the air, with dust billowing around his feet as if he had done so on the ground.

In a literal flash, Grimmjow was on him again, filling his vision with black as the underside of his sandal met Ichigo's right eye, pushing him back on the balls of his feet.

Great. He would have a black eye come tomorrow morning.

Blemish issues aside, Ichigo was able to get a hold of his own momentum before he drifted too far away, just in time to counter Grimmjow's charge with a cleanly struck forward stroke of his cleaver-shaped zanpakuto, which the humanoid hollow proceeded to catch in the palm of his hand.

He snapped his available fist straight into Ichigo's nose, snapping his head back, and before lunging again, he waited until his prey could get his bearings straight to see the full product of his cocky, malevolent grin before hammering his nose again, this time with his forehead.

Grimmjow allowed Ichigo to stagger backward to bounce side to side as though he was a boxer, "What's the matter?" He asked mockingly, shadow boxing the air, "That all you got in the tank Shinigami? I'm disappointed. I ain't even warmed up here."

Ichigo managed to stop himself, though his vision was swimming from the assaults on his now bloody nose as a consequence, "You're really asking for it pal," He growled threateningly, holding his nose.

Instead of denying it, Grimmjow answered Ichigo's question with one of his own, "Didn't I say that Bitch?" He turned sideways, beckoning Ichigo forward with a gesture of his hand, "So show me what ya got unless you were chatting shit."

This guy… He had only just made his presence known all of ten minutes ago and not only was he turning Ichigo inside out but he was turning out to be the biggest prick the ginger-shinigami had ever met. Even duking it out with Renji and Byakuya seemed like a pleasantry in comparison to a starting battle with this asshole.

"I'll show you whose full of shit!" Ichigo declared as audaciously as he could.

He ultimately made an inflexible organization like the soul Society change for the better, even if it was only minor, he wasn't going to give up here. Not when he had still two 'aces' left in the hole so to speak.

Holding his zanpakuto out in front of him, Ichigo began building up reiatsu, drawing a wide smirk from Grimmjow even when a transparent glow almost as blue as his hair enveloped Ichigo's form, quickly shifting to a darker black with a malevolent red hue bathed around it.

Interesting.

From as calm as the ocean blue to an empty black with a baleful red shrouded around it. The boss would be interested in hearing about this.

…If he gave a damn about writing reports.

He could leave that to the others.

They wrote that crap, not him.

" _Bankai!_ "

Grimmjow watched the flip-flop outline tone of Ichigo's aura expend and cover his body in an egg-like shell, and to anyone else probably around vice-captain level they would've been subjected to a shaking perspective like an earthquake was happening, but to Grimmjow, the effects might as well had been non-existent for all it did to him. Nothing.

When the egg dome around Ichigo shattered, the only difference Grimmjow could point out was his attire and his trusty zanpakuto.

Instead of the baggy shihakusho he wore previously that symbolized his shikai, Ichigo was happily dressed in a tight long-sleeved black jacket that was coloured red on the inside with the bottom edges tattered, and slim black hakama, with only his white socks and wooden sandals showing no visible change despite his power-up.

Perfect. Just how he liked his clothes.

Ichigo's zanpakuto, once a huge cleaver meant for power, was now marginalized to that of a slim long black sword with a manji guard, also black.

 _Oh_ , he was one of those ones, huh?

Whatever, he was still going to be Grimmjow's bitch by the end of this so it was redundant.

Looking at his adversary with a steel hard gaze of resolve, Ichigo lowered his zanpakuto to the side, "Things are going to be different now," As in he would have the upper hand or at the very least the tie would be fought on equal grounds, until Grimmjow showed his hand, "Let's go!" He dematerialized in a burst of shunpo, full of confidence of giving the prick his just desserts.

…Confidence that proceeded to fly out of the window as he reappeared behind Grimmjow, and got a backward elbow drive to his ribs for his troubles, forcing him to cough out saliva.

"What...!?" This was NOT how it was meant to be! He was supposed to turn the tables when he went Bankai, or at the very least evened them out damn it! He wasn't supposed to get stopped in his tracks with an elbow to his innards before being hit with a two-hit combination of a headbutt underneath his chin, and a spinning heel kick delivered to his cheek.

"What is this guy?" Ichigo asked desperately after stopping his momentum.

Not giving him any respite Grimmjow was in his face again with the same wide haughty, sadistic grin Ichigo was really starting to despise.

He didn't know how he did it, but when you was desperate instincts tended to take over, and it did for Ichigo as he ducked under a roundhouse punch from Grimmjow, leaping back to avoid an attempted follow-up knee-strike from the beast incarnate.

Grimmjow lunged forward boldly yet again, straight into the vertical slice of Ichigo's Zanpakuto which he caught cleanly in his palm, trapping his prey. He took advantage of that by delivering a heavy side kick deep into Ichigo's midsection, knocking the wind from his sails.

Clenching his palms together, Grimmjow raised them above his head, bringing them down with thundering force and smashing them off of the back of Ichigo's head, sending him spiraling downward through rings of air.

Thank goodness school was in session, otherwise any of the unfortunate spiritually aware kids would've seen a meteorite of sorts crash landing directly into the park, with the impact being powerful enough to generate a miniature tornado that would've obliterated them as easily as it totalled the playful equipment.

Bye-Bye park.

Ichigo eloquently summed up his current situation and mood, laying on a straightened out and broken slide, "Fuck…"

Just to be a total sadistic asshole, Grimmjow dropped down opposite to Ichigo, and instead of simply teleporting directly to him in a second, he marched forward with purpose just so Ichigo could dwell on the beating that was to come.

Ichigo hated the fact that Grimmjow's predatory approach was actually effective. Having to ponder an inevitable beat down was much more devastating mentally then actually just having it come to pass. Not that he would admit such as he tried to push himself up. He had lost all feeling on the inside of his face.

He was even sensitive to the two trickles of blood running down the sides of his swollen cheeks.

Eventually his inevitable opponent loomed over him, blocking the sun light from his view. He could only look up in horrified panic as Grimmjow snatched him up by the scoff of his neck, smirking maliciously.

"Guess I ain't got the chance to call it quits from here huh?" Ichigo was legitimately serious with that request.

He didn't want to fight this guy anymore.

Grimmjow's widening smirk told Ichigo he was savouring in his suffering and his actions gave him his answer. Hurled up like a volleyball, Grimmjow utilized his face as his own personal punching bag, rocking it with a barrage of infinite left and right blows while bellowing arrogantly, "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

Ichigo never felt so subjugated by anyone in any fight he had ever had with anyone. Even Byakuya. At least the stoic Kuchiki had the decency to just put him down for the count as quickly and decisively as possible, giving Ichigo no time to linger on his inferiority to him.

…Instead Ichigo just lingered on his inadequacy to protect his friend, Rukia, and while that didn't seem much better at first, at least his mind was only lingering on one.

Here, not only was he forced to lament his weakness as Grimmjow lorded his superiority over him with an endless hellfire of relentless, punishing blows, but that consequently made him consider his potential failure to protect his love ones.

Ranma was still in the area close to his stuff. If Grimmjow decided he hadn't had his fill, he could simply waltz on over to her and beat the hell out of her… or worse, and worse yet Ichigo would be powerless to do a _damn_ thing about it.

…And that truly tortured him even worse than a physical onslaught straight from hell.

He could handle being oppressed, but what he couldn't handle in a million years was not being able to protect those he cared for.

He would rather kill himself.

'Damn it!' Ichigo mused tearfully as the one hundredth and tenth blow was rocketed into his thoroughly damaged countenance. He didn't know, he had given up count after fifty.

To wrap the finishing bow on his deadly Gatling gun bombardment, Grimmjow sent an uppercut into Ichigo's chin with enough force to carry him off of the ground, vanishing from his place on the ground to reappear above the airborne Ichigo, punting him back into the ground like an explosive bomb, further cratering the ground.

"That all?" Grimmjow grimaced, his battle euphoria all spent for the day as he shoved his hands into his pockets and stomped his foot on the air itself, glaring down in disgust at the dust that obscured his pathetic opponent, "Gotta say, you turned out to be a real disappointment. You used your Bankai and all it gives ya is average speed! What a joke!"

He dropped down to the ground unceremoniously, intent on letting his failed opponent know of his weakness, because the only time Grimmjow could ever be called 'thorough' was when he was driving the point down someone's throat.

Just because he was a sadist like that.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!" Grimmjow remarked, ready to assert his superiority over Ichigo with a stomp on the back of his skull, just because nothing was more demeaning to anyone than getting their head shoved into the ground by their superior. He stopped just short of doing so when a similarly black and red dark shadow caught his sight, "What the hell?"

The dust once obscuring Ichigo disappeared too quick for it to have done so on its own accord as far as Grimmjow was concerned, but that wasn't his main concern with the silhouette of an aura now bathed around Ichigo's cleaver like a shroud.

"Fuck you!" Ichigo spat, and with a strike of his Zanpakuto, he sent his darkened shroud spinning off of it as it took on the shape of a crescent moon, spinning crazily toward Grimmjow, "Getsuga Tenshou!"

Grimmjow's blue eyes widened, but with his close proximity with the piercing sword beam, he wouldn't be able to dodge. So he crossed his arms over his face to prepare to take the blunt of the damage.

Even then he was unprepared for the level of sharpness the move had as it tore into his pectoral muscles, to his torso, and down to his abdomen, staggering him backward before expanding in a heat dome of sorts.

When it dissipated, leaving a myriad of darkened spiritual particles permeating in the air, Grimmjow felt like his ride through pointy, deadly sharp, hell was over.

"Damn, what the hell was that?" He murmured to himself, uncrossing his arms, which now had second- almost third - degree burn scars on the wrists, from his face, looking himself over to find a long second, almost third-degree burn scar running horizontally down from his torso, straight down to his abdomen.

He glanced over to Ichigo, noticing the savage smirk on his face at lethally wounding him.

Oh, the dickhead thought he was back in the game because of his latest trick up his sleeve being effective against him. Ha, what a riot, "So you had one more ace in the hole, huh." Grimmjow stated outright instead of asked, smirking Ichigo's way.

"Exactly," He replied, grinning with admittedly more delight than someone like him should've been grinning at heavily damaging another, but the vicious beating he had received at Grimmjow's hands left him understandably bloodthirsty.

Being able to inflict even a friction of that beat down back at the asshole was golden to Ichigo at this point.

"So maybe I won't be such a _disappointment_ after all, asshole!" Ichigo continued, smirking wider at using Grimmjow's words against him.

Grimmjow found Ichigo's newfound confidence at using his own words against him after being on the receiving end of a savage onslaught all of a few minutes ago utterly hilarious, and made his amusement known with a laugh, "Guess I was wrong about you. It may just turn out that you're worth fighting after all, shinigami."

Ichigo smirked, but his joy of getting a glimmer of a chance of getting back in the contest was short-lived as an all too familiar sardonic voice rang out in the back of his mind, " **Ichigo, you're acting awfully cocky for someone who's been a punching bag since the fight started. HUH?"**

'Hang on,' Ichigo internally pleaded, gripping the left side of his face as black flames on the left side of his perspective of Grimmjow appeared in view, 'Just give me a chance.'

" **You really think you can handle this alone?** " How cute. He was so desperate to preserve the remnants of his pride.

'Damn it…' Ichigo growled, going over his predicament mentally.

The black Getsuga Tenshou was originally his technique, and at most Ichigo had two bursts of it before he took control of him.

If he was going to finish this, he had to finish it now.

So he tried charging up one of his last two shots of the hollow's version of his Zanpakuto signature attack, but unfortunately for Ichigo, Grimmjow wasn't stupid or arrogant enough to let him build up reiatsu blatantly for a technique he had seen and experienced the effects of, thus dashed to his side.

"Not this time shinigami!" Grimmjow bragged, grabbing Ichigo's sword-holding arm, filling the teen's eyes with horror. He lunged his free arm in a punch, but Grimmjow leaned his body to one side, sweeping Ichigo's knee and dragging him to the floor, planting a foot on his back before lifting up the same foot and bringing it down with enough crushing force to dislocate his shoulder.

A wave of the most immense pain Ichigo had ever experienced surged through his body, forcing him to let out a high pitch, almost girly, squeal of agony as he instinctively dropped his Zanpakuto.

"Squeal, bitch!" Grimmjow roared, leaning back on the balls of his feet before beginning a steady rotation that gradually picked up speed while still holding onto Ichigo's wrist, whipping him around like a rag doll as a result.

Somehow, Ichigo was able to utilize his free hand and move it to the ground in his tortuous whirlwind twister of a ride and scoop up his sword, just before Grimmjow released him and sent him flying miles away, bouncing painfully off of the unforgiving concrete before stopping to a brutal stop on a building.

"Damn it."

"Too easy," Grimmjow smirked, finally beginning to draw his sword. Hey, that bitch scarred him. It was only fair that he returned the gesture ten folds over, and he would have to if it weren't for the calm, yet stern command that reverberated from his side.

"Put your sword away, Grimmjow."

Grimmjow glanced at his dark-skinned superior with a look of surprise, but didn't refuse his command, "Tosen?" He asked, sheathing his sword before going on the defensive, "What the hell are you doing here? I didn't do shit. I was just doing as the boss asked."

"You misinterpret me Grimmjow," Tosen stated, "You performed your role admirably," That was hard to say. Grimmjow wasn't his favourite subordinate due to his clear lack of respect for authority and complete exemption of social graces, but Tosen, if nothing else, was a fair and **_just_** man, thus would acknowledge when credit was due, "Aizen-sama has sent me to recall you."

Grimmjow scowled, glancing down at his chest wound, to the direction he had sent Ichigo off in, and at Tosen, considering his options thoroughly before relenting with a heavy sigh, "Fine…" He shoved his hands into his pockets, "Let's go."

Tosen nodded and wordlessly flicked his hand off of open air, opening the Garganta. He turned around; the unspoken commandment clear in his body language.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes, sauntering up to the Garganta before stopping and looking over his shoulder one last time. After a moment, he scoffed, 'Whatever. Even if that pussy could fire off that technique a hundred times, he still wouldn't stand a chance against me in my release mode.'

XxX

"What the hell just happened?"

"First a crevice appears in the road, than a crater in a building."

"It's like an invisible boulder went haywire."

"It's crazy."

'What… the fuck?' Ichigo thought drowsily, cocked up against the side of a cratered skyscraper as non-spiritually aware civilians unintentionally gathered around him, obviously wondering what on earth could have caused the recent devastation of the road and a skyscraper.

"This… wasn't meant to happen…" He breathed out as though he had heart problems, forcing himself to his feet only for his pain-ridden body to fail, resulting in him falling to the ground.

He was meant to take a trip to his old mentor's place, spend the last of a little quality time with his girlfriend before they would inevitably be surrounded by others, and together they would complete their journey to Mr Urahara's to train their asses off for battles like the one he just painfully experienced to come.

A sudden overpowered humanoid hollow with an extreme assholistic delinquent attitude derailing his plans was not on the cards.

"This is screwed up," Ichigo stated, forcefully plunging his sword into the ground to pull himself to his feet with his good arm. The sudden tremor offset the poor civilians that didn't know what the heck to make of this, and for what it was worth, Ichigo flashed them an apologetic look even if they couldn't see him.

"One thing's for sure though…" Ichigo's gaze quickly turned to resolve as he painstakingly began limping off, leaving his right arm and the remainder of his sentence just hanging.

Grimmjow dun goofed.

* * *

Start of a Rivalry 

* * *

(Omake - Kenpachi 2.0)

It was actually kind of refreshing having an older guardian by his side for once, especially after he had spent the majority of his younger days growing up in solitude. Sure, Ryoga's parents were alive and well, but since they all got lost on a regular basis they might as well had been living on their own. It sure felt that way to Ryoga who often lamented his loneliness.

At least for this brief or extended - depending on the time it would take him to master his teleportation ability - time he wouldn't be alone, as Unohana made explicitly certain not to let him out of her sight in case he vanished accidentally by holding onto his hand as if he was a baby. Despite how demeaning that could be to some, he didn't mind that. With his poor sense of direction, he needed someone to guide him by the hand, and he wasn't going to be some petulant child by denying that.

He also had the added bonus of being personally chaperoned around in one of the primordial quarters that had been around even before he was even in his mother's womb by a renowned captain. A great tour of the Fourth Division barracks if one will.

As stated by Unohana, it bore a remarkable resemblance to a hospital, housing operating rooms with medical beds, equipment and all the stuff one would find in a hospital. As far as medical professionalism went the Fourth Division was legit.

Unohana mentioned that while most of the thirteen divisions in the Seireitei were just military squadrons there were a few like hers that specialized in a particular department that distinguished them in more ways than just their own individual ideologies, but didn't bore him with the details. She figured someone as straight forward as him would benefit more from experience by interacting with each of the squads firsthand once he had mastered his whimsical ability to appear wherever at any convenient or inconvenient time.

The only need-to-know piece of information Unohana felt Ryoga should know given that it was common knowledge in where they were was that each military division was operated by a captain and their second-in-command, a lieutenant. Even if it was reiterated to him it still scared him, serving as a constant reminder that were thirteen OP dudes plus their right hand men that could effectively cut him down to size.

"So how are we gonna start this thing, Unohana?" Ryoga asked, self-conscious after his latest disappearance spell. Unohana did keep an eye on him... all day, right until she sent him to bed for the night. Once he got up in the morning to go look for her, he vanished and reappeared elsewhere in the Seireitei.

He was just fortunate that he had ended up in the eighth division and met its captain. He turned out to be a real nice guy. He even offered Ryoga a drink but got admonished by his pretty, but incredibly strict lieutenant for setting a bad example to a kid, which he laughed off in a good-natured manner. It was only went Unohana came to pick Ryoga up did he change his tune and try to play it off that he offered her student a soda and NOT a cup of sake.

Not at all.

Unohana took a moment to appreciate the scenery of the training field they had the fortunate of having to themselves. It was a beautiful field with healthy green grass and ample space. A wide clean lake was situated in front of a huge cliff.

"Before we begin we'll need to awaken your reiatsu," Unohana explained, smiling around her one last time. Thank goodness classes in session were inside otherwise this could've been a problem.

"Okay," Ryoga shrugged, crossing his arms, "How'll we do that?"

"It's very simple," She smiled, stepping to his side and placing a calming hand on his shoulder, "I'll be utilizing my own reiatsu as a siphon to release yours."

"Really?" They could do that?

Unohana confirmed any doubts he may have had with a hum before further elucidating, "Yes. It's a common practice that's mostly utilized when a particular aspiring shinigami has trouble drawing out their reiatsu."

"Uh, I think I've seen this somewhere."

Unohana interpreted his unsure statement as a sign of confidence and gently moved her hand from his shoulder, and to his back, asking pleasantly before just sending a surge of relaxing reiatsu through his system, "Shall we give it a go?"

Unohana's reiatsu really was the most soothing thing he had ever felt. Any stress in his muscles and apprehensions he may have felt over the procedure of bringing out his reiatsu that seemed to leave Unohana in shocked reminiscence vanished entirely, as though he was resting in a hot spring built for this one sole purpose.

'This is great,' He mused, not noticing how much reiatsu had actually poured out of him.

It was enough to leave Unohana gawking as if she had seen a ghost. Instead of the polite young man she had been babying standing in a ring of flames with a spiritual weapon of sorts materializing in his hand, she saw a ragged little boy with similar black spiky hair.

'This can't be... He...' Really was like him. It drowned on her the sudden surge of immense reiatsu would not go unnoticed, which would leave the Head Captain with the suspicion that she had over stepped her liberty with his acceptance of her training of Ryoga, 'Dear Spirit King of above, what have I done?'

XxX

Naturally, the spike of such a huge level of reiatsu only often sensed in one captain did not go unnoticed around the Seireitei. Eyes widening, the head captain twisted his head around, looking out at the window, "What is the meaning of this?" He boomed, sensing the unknown reiatsu signature he surprisingly empathized with even if he hadn't interacted with the beholder before with Unohana. It had to be that whelp she insisted on helping, but how could one whelp have such a sheer amount of reiatsu, and this kind too?

It off set him.

Suddenly, another elder donning the shinigami garbs with a lieutenant badge strapped on his shoulder appeared, kneeled before Yamamoto, "Would you like me to issue the order to apprehend the disruption Head-captain?"

"No," Yamamoto replied, surprising his fellow elder, "I will see to this matter myself." He needed to interact with this whelp personally to confirm a few suspicions, then he would decide what to do from there.

Yamamoto's decision to step out to the front lines himself surprised his fellow elder. That wasn't the way he operated. The only time Yamamoto ever sauntered out into the Frey was if he was the last line of the defense. While that may seem silly to some one had to understand with Yamamoto's power, he could nigh casually end any confrontation just by merely flexing his reiatsu muscles, but if he was to do that his subordinates wouldn't get the necessary experience needed to probably precede him as head captain one day.

...If ever.

"Uh... Understood," He accepted and Yamamoto dematerialized in a burst of shunpo-induced speed. The undescribed man stood and sauntered over to the window with a thoughtful expression on his face, "I wonder why the Head Captain insisted on meeting this ryoka. According to him, he was just some whelp with an inconvenient deficiency to materialize anywhere," A brief feeling of the whelp's reiatsu gave him his answer, causing his eyes to widen at the power of the kid, "What... the... hell?"

Well, he had an idea of why Yamamoto wanted to meet him now, but that still didn't make it any less shocking.

XxX

(Elsewhere)

In a laboratory sat a strange man dressed in a shinigami shihakusho with the captain haori thrown over his shoulders. He had a completely pitch black skeletal face a'la Mr Popo, outlined with white to fit the appearance of a skull. Instead of ears, he had golden cones.

"How interesting," He hissed, bearing his gleaming white teeth in a sneer, his golden orbs scanning the high tech computer in front of him as numbers were rolling quickly, "A fellow has simpleton-level reiatsu," The ocean amount of power didn't interest him as much as the person housing the reiatsu did.

Like where did he come from?

Did everybody have such absurd amounts of reiatsu solidifying them as simpletons in his original homeland?

If he always had this much reiatsu inside of him, which he obviously did, then why didn't he show up on the radar the moment he stepped foot into the Soul Society.

Those were just the tip of the iceberg for questions running through Mayuri Kurotsuchi's mind at this most unusual development.

"That boy could be the new Head Captain," He said mockingly, knowing it was never going to happen. The Seireitei wasn't the sort of place that helped young aspiring warriors flourish their potential, but instead squandered them. The original simpleton and Ichigo Kurosaki were proof enough of that. They easily had the potential to become two of the most powerful shinigamis the Seireitei had ever seen, but the way they were being held back it wasn't going to happen.

"Mayuri-sama," An emotionless feminine voice called out to him. Standing behind him was an attractive young lady with an ample sized bosom. She had long purple hair tied in a loose braid, wearing a black kimono dress that fell to her knees, leaving plenty of her shaping legs on show, a red slash tied around her waist that marched the red collar around her neck, black gloves on her hands, and high heels on her feet.

"Do you require me to gather Intel on this potential new specimen?" She asked, looking at her master through green, soulless eyes.

Mayuri made a flippant gesture with his hand, "Yes, yes. Just do it already, Nemu," He commanded rudely.

"As you wish Mayuri-sama," She bowed, exiting the premises.

"Useless moron," He scoffed, going back to his work. He didn't see the simpleton as a threat whatsoever, and why should he? He was just some imbecile with more reiatsu than he knew what to do with. They were all the same. One trick dumbasses that really only knew how to do one or at most two things: make stuff simply go boom and hack/hit away until their hearts content.

Ugh, morons, the lot of them.

"Oh well," He said, "I suppose it would benefit me to have sufficient data on this simpleton in case the worst case scenario happened."

After all you could never have too much dirt on someone when your whole battle strategy was based on knowing your opponent almost as well as the back of your hand.

XxX

"What the hell!" The bald headed swordsman asked, looking off in the direction of which the huge amount of reiatsu had spiked, "Is this the captain?"

Being the level headed one of the two most distinguished Kenpachi-loyalists, the narcissistic shinigami was easily able to distinguish the two disgustingly high levels of reiatsu, identifying the one going haywire as the ryoka, "Think carefully, Ikkaku. The captain may be indeed reckless, but even he wouldn't open the flood gates unless the opponent he's locked in mortal combat with proves formidable," And now there was, "...We can expect the release of his own soon enough though."

"Who the hell could have reiatsu levels on par with the captain's?" Ikkaku deadpanned, not liking the coy smile that slipped onto his companion's face.

"Why, the captain's son of course!" He beamed, his smile becoming remarkably strained following his admittance, "...As lieutenant-Yachiru intelligently identified."

"Well now I know you're full of shit Yumichika." Ikkaku felt his skepticism was justified. He had sensed that guy's reiatsu yesterday during their brief interaction. It wasn't even enough to trouble a fifth seat. The wild, untamable power on display now was easily the amount of reiatsu he would expect from his captain. If Ikkaku were to believe that it belonged to the kid, then that kid could own him and Yumichika with his own reiatsu alone.

Only his lieutenant Yachiru and their captain Zaraki would be able to stand next to him without suffocating.

There was just no conceivable way for a pup like him to jump literally from fodder to Kenpachi-level.

"You never know," Yumichika reasoned before theorizing, "He most likely had his reiatsu sealed."

"Then it had to have been a damn good seal for none of us to have noticed."

"Regardless, if the captain catches wind of this-." Right on cue a hole was created directly behind them, "-And he already knows."

Kenpachi stood in the newly made hole with smoke obscuring his body, though a shadow of his happily savage grin was seen, "I knew he was the one." No he didn't, but that was irrelevant. He had a fight to get to, and he was going to savor every minute of it and wound inflicted on him.

Kenpachi bent down, pumping power to his legs before releasing, flying through the ceiling to exit in the most decisive, quickest and reckless way possible.

It didn't matter if he had a shoddy sense of direction... because he was going to follow his equally shoddy reiatsu sensing to get to his target, leaving his underlings once again staring dryly in his exit as a few splinters rained down on them from their captain's dramatic departure.

"Care to place a bet?" Yumichika asked, getting a raised eyebrow from Ikkaku.

"You serious?" Their captain was obviously going to win.

"Yes, but not on the outcome of the battle but on how much destruction two knuckleheads with absurd amounts of reiatsu can wrought?"

"You're on."

* * *

 **Mark Henry's theme done by Three Six Mafia - Somebody's Gonna get their ass kicked**


	9. Diamonds in the Rough

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or Bleach**

* * *

This had been an absolute brilliant offer, perhaps the best one the two had ever received, but on the flip side it was also the most terrifying one. Sometimes your best offer just had to be your scariest too. This fit that scenario perfectly.

"Yesssssssssss!" Genma roared joyously seeing the image of his hatred limping away pathetically after a savage beat down from a subordinate from one of the now most generous guys Genma had ever met.

In front of them on the Dojo hall's flooring was an orange glowing sphere that was transmitting a hologram of sorts that gave them a convenient front-row view of Ichigo's thorough beat down by Grimmjow's hands.

Originally, they had been confused on how the sphere worked even if Aizen assured them it would activate the moment his subordinate initiated contact with Ichigo Kurosaki. They sat in the dojo for hours on end, curiously watching the lighter flame within the sphere flow before nearly jumping out of their skins as a light shined out of the top of the sphere, materializing into the mirror-wide hologram that was before them now.

Needlessly to say, they had been off of their proverbial seats since the fight started, and everything Grimmjow did had them practically squealing like a pair of fangirls.

"Oh, say it is so," Soun pleaded, clasping his hands with two trickles of tears running down his eyes, "Our prays have been answered."

Genma smirked, wishing the hologram worked both ways so the brat could see his smug smile and listen to him admonish him before making his and Soun's intentions known to him, "Take that brat!" He bragged, "You have to get up pretty early in the morning to snatch the worm from Genma Saotome."

Only once in the fight did Ichigo cause them to start biting down their nails, and that was when he underwent his Super Saiyan-esque transformation, but that lasted all of five seconds seeing as he failed to gain any real ground on their soon-to be comrade.

"Now, Saotome," Soun said in a serious tone as the depressed image of Ichigo faded out, leaving only a blackened light, "What will be our answer be this time when Aizen comes around to offer it us again?"

Genma beamed, wrapping an arm around his old friend's shoulder before just outright stating, "Like you even need to ask!"

They were more than half way on board when Aizen originally extended his generous offer for them to join his army, even if they had to essentially die and be resurrected, but after witnessing the power of just one of Aizen's soldiers any doubts they may have harboured that the process of resurrection might not be enough to destroy Ichigo was wiped away.

"Now then," Soun smiled happily, "I suppose there's nothing left to do other than to inform the man of our decision."

Genma nodded, snickering as he and his bestie bounced in sync from side to side. Admittedly, it took them longer than it should've to realize they had no way to get in touch with Aizen, and once they did they stopped to look at each other inquisitively, hoping at least one of them had the answer.

"Uh?" Genma slurred, scratching his chin, "Hey, Tendo. You wouldn't happened to have jogged down his number, would you?"

Soun shook his head, "I… don't recall doing so," All Aizen left them with before bowing out with a statement saying he would look forward to their decision.

"I see," Genma said with a surprising stoic look which Soun mirrored.

They maintained it for all of five seconds before breaking down.

"No!"

"How could the gods be so cruel!?"

Complete with dropping to their knees.

At that point, an illumination lit up the ground beneath their heads. They put their lamentation on pause to look up curiously, hope immediately coming back to their eyes when they saw the hologram projecting another location their soon-to-be boss was in, with a very familiar figure sitting on his lap that Soun recognized.

"N-Nabiki."

XxX

(Moments Earlier – Aizen's underground laboratory)

"That was an impressive display," Nabiki commented in the wake of Grimmjow's sheer domination of Ichigo Kurosaki, sitting on Aizen's lap, "To think he's only ranked sixth in your army."

Aizen wasn't left satisfied as much as he was fascinated by his queen's amazement of the apparent strength-in-depth of his army, "Interesting," Aizen said, "Are you implying I rank my soldiers on strength alone dear?"

She did, and she also found the implications that he didn't interesting food to digest, "Oh?" Nabiki said, half-turning to snuggle against his chest with a saucy smirk on her face, "Then why don't ya enlighten me?"

Aizen chuckled lightly, caning an arm around Nabiki's waist, "Of course. It's actually remarkably simple when you break down the basics of a battle and analyse all the possible ways one could utilize to guarantee victory for themselves."

Nabiki was quick to follow along the trail Aizen had set, "Like speed and intellect!"

"Precisely," Aizen validated, giving her a pat on the shoulder, "Strength alone will not always be enough to ensure victory, especially if your opponent prefers to keep his distance to gauge his opponent's strength and decipher which of his many tricks up his sleeve would be most effective of putting him down. The brains with multiple cards up a single sleeve if you will."

"The brains who fights smarter whereas the brawns fights harder," Nabiki summarized with a knowing smirk, getting a nod out of Aizen, "I know just the pawn who fits the bill to a T."

"One I can assume can be incorporated in our army," Aizen estimated reasonably, but Nabiki shook her head in the negative, and in their close proximity, her hair lightly brushed his chest as if she was soothing him.

"I'm afraid those brains already belong to the brawns we just witnessed cut down to size by our own," Nabiki quipped as Aizen inhaled slightly in realization.

"Oh. Those brains," Ranma Saotome; the peculiar gender-bender who made it so easy to get Nabiki's father and her father on board with his plans, was the brains to Ichigo's brawns. Although, Aizen's face maintained it calm disposition, he was troubled over this new discovery, "How concerning it is that she's that type of warrior, considering her partner is the muscle type. Her versatility could complement his straightforward approach."

"-Which is why keeping them separated come go time will be a priority," Nabiki reasoned as if finishing for Aizen. She didn't know much about their opposing rivals other than them being reapers than protected god himself, but she had enough implications from Aizen to realize something on a grand scale would be going down. Keeping two warriors that balanced each other out would not bode well for them.

"Indeed the solution to our problem can be as simple as that," Aizen said, though Nabiki wasn't one to miss the implications that it wouldn't be as easy as that of separating the seemingly seamless partnership of Ranma and Ichigo, "If there's no… complications from our enemy then I already know which high ranking soldier I plan to pit against her, assuming she's the type I suspect she is."

"Oh, is she really that much of a threat?" Nabiki asked in a teasing manner.

"Control types are never to be taken lightly, m'dear," Aizen countered smoothly. No one was, but one especially had to be on guard when they were facing off against someone who was capable of penetrating all the key points of someone's reiatsu shield, a'la the eye of the needle.

Nabiki thought of something, "So if you don't rank your soldiers based on strength would it be safe to assume they're based more along the lines of threat levels?" Aizen nodded, "That clarified, if you were to place a threat level on Ranma and her boy toy what would they be?"

"While I believe it's too early to administer an admissible rank to Ranma without having gathered appropriate intel on her abilities, based on your word alone she'd be ranked fourth, hypothetically of course," Aizen smiled, "As for Ichigo Kurosaki, his rank would be stationed below hers."

This surprised Nabiki, "Really?"

Aizen answered her, getting straight to the point but not elucidating further, leaving his answer vague, "Yes, I indeed still hold him as a valid threat."

"Even after he was pulverized so effortlessly by Grimmjow?" Nabiki incredulously pried further.

"As impressive as the victory may have been, it was still made all the easier by Ichigo's repressed reiatsu," Aizen explained, eliciting a blink from the young woman on his lap, "You see, our opposing organization has a rather strict and uncompromising method of maintaining control. I wouldn't it put past them to have given Ichigo a device whose sole two functions were to contain his power and keep tabs on him in order to give themselves a semblance of security."

"Something that could come back to bite them in the rear," Nabiki almost immediately surmised before another thought occurred to her, "So if they were keeping tabs on Kurosaki, it would be safe to assume we can expect them to deploy the cavalry very soon enough."

"Unfortunately," Aizen sighed, but never lost his calm smile, "Although the Seireitei always dispatches their soldiers with seals to avoid them causing collateral damage or influencing the living world, so that could play into our hands."

Nabiki grinned at her follow chess master, clearly impressed with his extensive knowledge he'd on their opponents. It was what she would've done after all because knowing the pieces on your chess board was key to being a successful manipulator, "Oh, someone's clearly done their homework."

"Indeed, I've thoroughly studied our opposition since planning my betrayal, from their strengths, to their weaknesses, and even to their main mentality," Aizen explained, feeling oddly proud of himself as he punched in coordinates on the keyboard beneath his flat screen-shaped hologram with only one hand, and the scene depicting a miserable Ichigo limping away faded, "Now then, I believe it's about time we initiate contact with Grimmjow's personal audience to receive their answers."

Nabiki smiled dryly, "Oh I wonder whatever it'll be."

The screen lit back up in a faint blue glow for safety reasons, and as easily as switching over the channel on a television screen the view of Nabiki's old home was on starring the aforementioned girl's father and his dear friend.

"N-Nabiki?" Soun stuttered.

"Good day to you too, Daddy," Nabiki replied naturally, playing ignorant to the situation she knew was undoubtedly awkward for her father to be in, "How was your day?"

Aizen didn't neglect to inform Soun of his relationship with Nabiki during his initial meeting with the patriarch, but even knowing that his future employer was hooked up with his daughter still didn't make it less any awkward actually seeing them together in action, and in an intimate position to boot too.

"I'm doing fine dear!" Soun hurried, not feeling secure enough to speak his mind against the intimacy of his new employer and his daughter. In all fairness, he didn't know Aizen all that well and the potential leniency he might have had.

One wrong word and Soun could kiss his chance of tipping the power scale between him and the Ichigo lad in his favour goodbye, and with that bid adieu to his dream of his school being united with Saotome's.

"How are you?" Soun mustered up.

"Oh, I'm doing splendid," Nabiki said, adjusting herself sideways on Aizen's lap to nuzzle against his cheek with a saucy purr, taking great pleasure as her father's face lit up with an awkward blush.

"Uh. Pleased to hear it dear," Soun nervously insisted.

"Gentleman," Aizen requested their attention and got them, though Soun had to force himself to ignore his daughter swinging her legs from the side of Aizen's lap, "If you may, tell me, did witnessing the power of my subordinate influence your decision?"

"Sign us up." The answer never changed.

"Excellent." Aizen voiced his delight, accentuating his smile by closing his eyes, "If there'll be no further questions, I'll have a subordinate arrive shortly at your home to escort here to begin the process."

Genma nodded vigorously. In all the time she had known him Nabiki had never seen the man so fired up. The rare times she had seen him even remotely geared up for something was to snatch the last morsel of food on the dinner table or ace some kind of contest to win a free, easy trip back to China to rid himself of his cursed form, but even those moments of passionate didn't compare to this one. He had a fire in his eyes that could only be born when an individual was incredibly passionate on a subject they were dedicating themselves wholeheartedly too.

In that instant, she truly knew just how much uniting their schools meant to them.

"First class ticket here we come!" The bald fighter crowed, fist pumped in the air.

Aizen shared a brief chuckle at the man's enthusiasm before reaching forward to end the signal between them, "For now, I bid you adieu."

Before he could end the call, Soun piped in with a last-ditched minute inquiry of his daughter's wellbeing, "Uh, How are you doing, dear!?" He hurried, needlessly climbing on Genma's shoulder, much to his annoyance.

...Only to wish he hadn't, "I'm doing fine daddy!" She chirped, snuggling against Aizen with renewed vigour, "Better than ever in fact!" Trying to play father now. How quaint but oddly misplaced and frankly too late.

Soun blanched at the indirect snub off, sinking in on himself, "That's good. I'll inform Kasumi and Akane of your happiness, dear," All he got was an absentminded nod from Nabiki in her purring to Aizen. Glancing to the man whose grasp she was currently in, he willed himself to man up, "Please take care of her, Mister Aizen."

"Of course." With that, the signal blacked out, leaving Aizen free to smirk at Nabiki's ruthless, uncaring stance to her father's awkwardness of them being together, "How fittingly cold of you my dear."

"The old fool was going to have to get used to seeing one of us in the arms of another man someday," She asserted, her show of contempt for the man who helped bring her into the world acted as perfect sustenance for Aizen's sinister smile, "Now what's say I round up my own pawns, Aizen-baby?"

"Oh indeed," The quicker he could assemble his troops the better the advantage he would gain in the upcoming war between his organization and the Soul Society, "I'll have Ulquiorra escort you to the World of the Living. Please gather them with due haste, m'dear."

"Thanks." No great amount of appreciation would ever be as overlooked as Nabiki's was by Aizen. Ulquiorra was a passable escort. Anyone was as long as _he_ wasn't the one guiding her to her old home. That wide, serpent-like smile had been burned into her memory, chilling her to the bone whenever she so much as recalled him. How could Aizen have such an untrustworthy man in his employment? She figured he was smarter than that. He was a traitor just waiting to happen.

Perhaps he knew something about him, something secretive and crucial, that no one else did. It was the only way her mind could rationalize Aizen's seemingly inexplicable decision to have the snake in his services.

The flooring lifted up as though it was on its own accord, and Aizen was soon helping his queen out of his one-seated laboratory, his hands, almost on instinct, roaming every part of her slender legs as she vacated his warmth to stand next to Ulquiorra.

"Hear anything ya like?" She tried to tease her king's most loyal subordinate, only to be greeted by the same unemotional glance he gave everyone. He waited the orders from his lord, and received them. He was to escort her to the World of the Living so she could recruit more soldiers to Lord Aizen's army. With that mind, he left with her, leaving his lord in the bliss that was the pieces of his plan falling into place like a easy Jigsaw puzzle.

His army was growing, which needed to be done with the sheer strength in depth that Soul Society had. Ten remaining noteworthy captains was an insane - and quite frankly, worrying - amount of firepower. Then there were their lieutenants plus the three that didn't fellow in the wake of Aizen and the two other runaway captains' desertions. His own big name leaders had second-in commands, but he honestly felt they barely compared to Gotei's lieutenants. There was a frightening chance that they could have been effortlessly swept side by the lieutenants' power, but with these additional soldiers in his ranks and their hidden potential just waiting to be unlocked he fancied his chances of tipping the scale of battle in their favour entirely.

And then there was Nabiki, someone who shared his ambitions and reveled in manipulation. The former was just a bonus, but the latter had him falling head-over-heels for her. He loved everything in regards to manipulation. It was the reason he had been attracted to her in the first place. Worming your way in someone's naive heart, to have them singing your praises, seeing you as a god, and willing to answer your every beck and call was simply... divine. Empowering.

She shared that same lust and he loved that about her.

Perhaps he would install power of her own upon her. Surely it wouldn't be nearly as destructive or physically influential as her pawns' soon-to-be improved powers would be considering she hadn't trained her body, but that mattered not when the potency and uniqueness of one's power were defined by their personality.

'Assuming I use the Hogyoku to imbue her with power, I would wager she'd gain mind manipulation." That much was clear as day to Aizen. She was a deceptively manipulative person by nature. It was only natural she would develop powers that could assist in those manipulations.

Aizen smirked darkly.

Yes. She would be pivotal in his victory and usurp of all three worlds.

 **BLEACH**

 _X_

 _X_

 _X_

 ** _Ranma 1/2_**

 **Chapter 9**

Diamonds in the Rough

xXx

(Urahara shop)

On the outside yard in between the cemetery and Kisuke's shop was where the resident kids were stationed at to accomplish one of their daily chores, though only one of them was sensible enough to see that through.

With the burning hot sun in his face Jinta let out a combination of a bored yawn and an annoyed groan, laying lazily on his side, "It's too hot for this crap."

Ururu, being the girl and the older of the two by a small margin of months, bravely took it upon herself to prod Jinta into activity, "Jinta-kun, we're supposed to be sweeping the front porch."

"Shhh!" Jinta harshly shushed, shooting up to a sitting position to give her the shushing gesture, "Hey, stupid. Do ya want Tessai to hear?"

"But Jinta-kun," She tried, her voice dwindling in volume as she twiddled with the broom stick in her hand, "You're meant to be helping me."

"So what?!" He grimaced, laying back down with an arm tucked behind his head. He closed his eyes, drifting off to his own perfect little world; a world where he had fully paid servants to do the work he didn't feel like doing, leaving him to lounge around doing nothing.

Yeah… Perfect.

Too bad he was dragged right back to reality by Ururu's shriek of fright, "Kisuke! Tessai! Quick!" She abandoned the broom in her hand to dash back into the store, leaving it to clatter nosily to the concrete ground below.

"What?" Jinta asked, genuinely curious as to what had warranted his proclaimed surrogate sibling's startled shriek of alarm.

She didn't sound frightened, so there was no reason to go on the defensive on an attacker in her defence. True, he did indeed boss her about, but that was only due to his own belief that males were the predominant gender and thus had an inherent rule over females.

Childish? Sexist? Yes, but then again he was only a kid.

A shadow eclipsed his tiny frame, causing an instinctual shiver of fear to creep into him, "Alright! Alright, old man! I'm doing i-!" He hurried to his feet to avoid being yanked to them instead, his fear evaporating when he instead found a familiar face being supported by an unfamiliar one, even if it was bruised to high hell, "Whoa, what the hell happened to you, Ginger-nut?"

Ichigo was not in the mood for any smart alecky comment Jinta could potentially have lined up to rub his decisive defeat to Grimmjow further and harder in his face. He had already had it shoved down his throat enough by the culprit himself without some snot-nosed brat pointing it out for him.

"Just get out of my way, ya little brat!" Ichigo demanded, uncharacteristically impatient to a child.

Ranma flashed her fellow pouting redhead an apologetic smile as she led her sulky boyfriend inside the hut with her arms tied around his waist and his arm around her shoulder.

"It ain't my fault you suck at fighting jerk!" Jinta grumbled, but Ichigo just ignored him, "What an asshole!" He huffed, laying back down, "Man I'm tired."

"Of doing what-?" Jinta froze, turning his head over his shoulder to catch sight of Tessai looking down at him sternly, "-Young master."

"Old man!" He yelped, hopping to his feet and grabbing the first broom within arm's reach, which was ironically the one Ururu had dropped, "Doing the crap I gotta do, du-."

"By myself? Why, of course. I'm pleased to see you remembered your accepted responsibility."

"Hey! Why do I gotta do this by myself?! Ururu…"

"-Has been accomplishing her task obediently long enough... or," His voice noticeably darkened, "Would you like me to cease my ignorance of your refusal to participate and punish you for your disobedience instead?" Jinta gulped before sighing, resigning himself to his hard labour having gotten the message crystal clear.

"Fine…"

He was probably getting off easy anyway.

XxX

Ichigo was seriously _not_ in the mood, even abandoning his manners and social courtesy as he just all but called out to a person by the name of "Urahara" the second he and Ranma stepped through the door.

Not that Ranma could blame him.

She would be sulky if she just lost a fight before analyzing where she went wrong, what she could take away and/or discard from the fight so she would be better off for the next round to come out on top let alone losing one in the extremely demeaning and belittling manner that Ichigo had.

"Coming!~" She heard the cheerful, friendly voice of the supposed Urahara person Ichigo had called out to, despite the rude and commanding tone he had used. Either he was the kindest man Ranma would ever meet or he was playing extremely ignorant to Ichigo's stress to play on his nerves.

Ranma could say with near perfect certainty that it was the latter when Kisuke appeared in view with a look of feigned surprise on his face, "Whoa! Whatever happened to you, Ichigo?!"

Ichigo glared, but despite his ever increasing temper at seemingly everyone playing dumb to his damaged state was still able to remain some semblance of rationalization, and with that he figured indulging his old mentor would be the quickest way to move on, "Yeah, I actually had a pretty nasty fall down a set of stairs. Left me pretty banged up," He retorted before letting the act drop in an near explosive uproar, "I got my ass kicked! What do you think happened?"

"Ichi-chan," Ranma said in concern, drawing Kisuke's attention to her as she kept Ichigo up straight. "Take it easy. Don't strain yourself."

She was a pretty little thing just like his supposed "friend" had stated, a real nice looking girl for Ichigo in Kisuke's opinion, who thought it was about time Ichigo got himself a girlfriend. It was almost a crime for a handsome boy like him to be single.

Kisuke smiled comfortingly, deciding to pity the boy by dropping the act of annoying him senselessly, "Come on. Join me for a cup of tea. You can tell me what kind of bad egg crawled from the woodwork to do this to you," Because clearly a human would never be able to damage a shinigami so heavily, even if a shinigami was in a human body or an artificial one, "I'll have Tessai tend to your wounds in the meantime."

With a few huffs, Ichigo glanced beside him down and into the pleading sapphire coloured eyes of Ranma before looking back at Kisuke. Judging by his twitching lip, Kisuke was just barely fighting down the urge to grin teasingly at Ranma's display of keeping him docile, but he ignored that.

"Fine," The tangerine-haired youth murmured in reluctance.

Obviously, Kisuke was going to initiate vocal contact with Ichigo's lady companion the second they approached him to follow him to a cosier area so Ichigo could relax and begin recuperating. Even if he didn't want to tease the hell out of Ichigo about him having such an attractive girlfriend, it wasn't in him to ignore someone's presence in his proximity.

"And who might you be, young lady?" Kisuke asked, an impish glint lighting up his shadowed eyes.

Ranma grinned bashfully. If such a time came where her nigh indomitable confidence would flutter, it was when she was meeting an adult for the first time. It was a lot easier to naturally interact with someone like Ichigo or Ryoga than an adult for Ranma.

Being in the same age group, she felt much more in her element mangling with them than she did with a senior.

She liked to think adults deserved a tad more respect having been in her shoes at some point in their lives, unless they proved her otherwise. If any adult showed they were contemptible like Happosai than that rule was broken.

"Ranma Saotome." She said, deciding to offer Ichigo a comforting pat on the arm hooked over her shoulder upon looking up at his no-nonsense expression before glancing back at Kisuke with a wholesome smile, "And you are, Mister?"

"Kisuke Urahara," He answered, hiding his sly smile behind his trademark white and green fan before going into his nigh instinctual salesman spiral, "If there's anything you need that could potentially aid you feel free me to visit my humble little store. I assure you, the humility of my establishment doesn't lessen the quality of the merchandise I sell." He finished with a wink as though he were sealing the deal.

"I'll keep that in mind," Ranma replied, mildly sarcastic in her given assurance.

With his polite need to acknowledge all those in his presence and pitch his stuff to satisfied, Kisuke turned and playfully called out to the one who had a direct hand in Ranma being here to hand her off to, "Hey, Yoruichi! Guess who decided to join you-know-who."

Over by the doorway leading elsewhere in the establishment Yoruichi appeared swiftly in view, leaned up against the side with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face that her new disciple mirrored, "Nice to see you could make it, little Strawberry."

"Yeah, well. The offer was just too good to pass up," Ranma replied.

Yourichi's smirk widened at the girl before she schooled her expression to elevate her glance from Ranma to Ichigo, "Ichigo," She acknowledged him impassively. She wasn't going to baby him. Partly because it wasn't her style to give others motherly pep talks, and partly because she expected Ichigo wouldn't want to be comforted anyway, as hardened as he was.

She wasn't wrong in her assumption. Ichigo had already long since grown tired to that practice back in his earlier adolescent days.

Touching as it may be it just made him feel bad noticing his love ones interacting with him as though they were walking through a minefield.

"Yeah," He returned, leaving it at that. The evidence of his humiliation was all over his bruised face anyway.

"Come on," Kisuke said with a jerk of his head, the sobered atmosphere calming him, "We have much to discuss."

The young couple shared a brief glance with the other before giving Kisuke a couple of nods; both feeling in the pits of their stomachs that the following conversation would be an atmosphere changing one.

XxX

(Seireitei)

XxX

The last twenty four hours had been something of a roller coaster ride for one Ryoga Hibiki. Beside from getting lost - which was pretty much the norm for him anyway – and meeting the seventh division captain on his spontaneous trek he discovered he was held in pretty high regard here in the Seiteirei, or at least his energy was.

Apparently, he had as much reiatsu as a couple of average captains put together, Unohana told him. He didn't feel any different despite having the potential to be on par with the scary captains.

The weapon that had materialized in his hand as a result to his dominant reiatsu being released didn't influence Ryoga's feelings on the revelation either.

"This sucks," Ryoga murmured in a depressing fashion, caning his head at an angle as if that action alone would increase his vision at a dull, brown, caveman-like club he held in his hand. His very own spiritual weapon and _this_ was what he received?

A club, the primitive tool the prehistoric humans used way back in the time of the dinosaurs? The very pre-evolved form of man that couldn't grasp human speech. He had their weapon?

He was told by Unohana that the unique power of a shinigami's Zanpakuto usually reflected who that shinigami was at the core of their personality. The same concept applied to a human and the spiritual powers they could manifest from within themselves, but what did that say about him then?

Ryoga wasn't sure if he wanted that question answered.

He just summed it up to his luck turning sour as it so often did. Raining days were expected in the life of Ryoga, and when it rained it poured. He even had to run away from the crazy Musclehead-guy who, all of a sudden, seemed even _more_ driven to fight him _._ He was just lucky that Kenpachi's sense of direction was apparently just as crappy as his.

They ended up on something of a wild goose chase going off in completely separate directions to the other. Ryoga's only ended once he hit into the incredibly defined abs of an old man that felt like a wall.

He was strict but at the same time he was merciful. The only command he gave Ryoga was one to have a mini sparring session with him. Considering the old timer was the head honcho of the current land he found himself in, it wasn't like he could refuse.

He was just glad the 'fight' lasted all of a few minutes. He didn't know how to properly utilize his weapon or his element. That left strictly bare-handed melee attacks, but that tactic didn't last long. Denting the old man was like trying to dent a mountain made out of steel.

Not even a mark was left and the recoil damaged his fist too much. His knuckles resembled plums in their colouring after that. He sure hoped Yamamoto got what he wanted - whatever it was – from his schooling of him because Ryoga wouldn't want to try his luck against him anytime soon.

He felt like a baby trying to pummel a grown up.

"Now where am I?" Ryoga said, using his spiritual weapon to scratch the top of his head. He was told to stay put until a meeting could be held discussing what to do with him but when nature called he had to answer it thus he vanished and ended up in this spacious, high-class estate.

He curiously surveyed his surroundings. He was on a porch familiar to the Tendo's, giving him a perfect view of the garden that had a koi pond of its own, though the feature Ryoga noted most were the myriad of cherry blossoms embedded on the outer edges of the garden. It wasn't hard to miss with there being so many neatly planted and being so bright.

The owner of the property was either a girly-girl or the most feminine man Ryoga would ever encounter.

"Better ask for directions," He sighed, letting his feet carry him to the nearest door, which ironically turned out to be the furthest away from him. Only he didn't quite make it to the door as a small rectangle gap beside the corner of the door warranted his attention.

"Is that… a window?" Sheesh, this place must have been ancient if it didn't even have glass windows.

He knew he shouldn't, but his curiosity was stabbing at him too much to ignore it. To satisfy his curiosity, Ryoga hopped up and grabbed onto the wooden bars of the primitive window, poking his head through only for his breath to hitch in throat.

Situated in the centre of a steamy pool of hot water was a teenage girl with longish black hair that fell to her shoulders. She hummed a melodic tune that enticed Ryoga, but still he couldn't help but notice the melancholy feel the song gave off.

'Why does she sound so sad?' Ryoga pondered, tilting his head to one side. If anyone knew depression as well as the back of their hands then it was Ryoga. He had self-loathed enough to know it as well as scholars and scientists knew theories.

Now would've been the perfect time to relate to her if it wasn't time for Ryoga to learn those with high levels of reiatsu tend to get spotted quite easily by others, even if they themselves couldn't sense their own power.

"Halt! Who goes there!?" She demanded, her tone changing.

Ryoga cringed, but only truly clocked on to what he was doing when the girl glanced up in his direction with a pointed, wrathful glare. The kind of angry look that dirty old man found himself tormented with.

"Uh…" Oh crap. Was he really just gawking at her like a peeping tom?

Jesus Christ.

"Well?"

"What?" Maybe playing dumb would get him out of this mess.

"Are you going to explain to me why you were just hanging there watching me take a bath or am I going to have to report you to Central forty six?"

Maybe not.

Plan B.

Ryoga's answer was clear in his next sequence of repeated apologetic dialogue and frantic actions, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" No, "I just wanted directions to the Fourth division!" He continued to shout as he headed to what he assumed was the proverbial hills.

"Oh no you don't! Get back here!" Unfortunately, his unintentional victim wasn't willing to simply let him go until she got a definite answer. She was out of her primitive bath in a flash, wrapping a towel around her petite, curvaceous figure to prepare to give chase to the potential pervert.

…Only she never had to give chase to him at all.

He circled back to the scene of the crime multiple times even before she stepped out of the door. She gave the explanation that he was mocking her by running down the hallway and appearing on the other side thought, but soon discarded it.

His frantic cries of, "Where's the exit!?" sounded anything but sarcastic to her, so she concluded that he was just an idiot.

"Enough!" She commanded, blocking Ryoga's path to end his roundabout repetitive cycle.

Ryoga stopped, stiffening in front of her, 'How did she catch up to me so quickly?' He sweated, not realizing he had encircled the premises multiple times.

The petite girl's stern look never wavered as she closed the distance between them to grab onto his arm, ensuring he wasn't going anywhere, "Enough of your shenanigans! Tell me wh-?" Only the more she stayed in his proximity the more lightheaded she felt. Like a flood was pushing down on her, almost bringing her to her knees. In fact if she wasn't so close to him, she would have fallen to her knees. Instead, she felt securely, or insecurely, on his chest, 'What is this man? He has as much reiatsu as Captain Zaraki?'

"Hey, are you okay?" She heard the concern in the boy's voice and tried to respond through the intensity of the heavy aura around him. She even began losing the colouring in her fair, snow white skin, 'She looks pale,' Ryoga thought with a grit of his teeth in worry, feeling the girl's trembling knees in their close proximity, "Oh crap! Is there a doctor in the house!?"

In his panic, he lifted her up bridal style into his arms, dashing off in the first direction he saw, which just happened to be the usual blinding white light he occasionally wandered into on accident to appear miles, and even counties, away from his designated location.

xXx

Yamamoto tended to hate meetings.

Not only did they have a tendency to drag on, but they also gave birth to petty arguments. Given the varying personalities of his subordinates, it was no wonder why they would disagree on many topics and subjects. They each had their own ideas on how things should be ran around the Seireitei, and it was for that individuality was why many meetings ended up evolving into vs debates, and why Yamamoto tended to dislike them overall.

"I'm sure you're all aware the exceptionally high reiatsu is the reason I summoned you all here," Yamamoto stated, getting the ball rolling as he stood at the peak of a two-lined men formation, exchanging glances from the five on one side to the four on the other side.

"Oh yeah," Kenpachi was the first to admit in a husky, excited tone, eliciting a roll of the eyes from the petite captain of the second division.

"The question that lingers now is how does a human possess such reiatsu without being detected," The young white-haired captain of the tenth division said.

"Yes. That is strange," The snow-white haired captain of the thirteen division, Ukitake, agreed, looking over at Shunsui's relaxed smiling face, "I believed you mentioned something about the ryoka finding his way over to your squad barracks, Shunsui?"

"That is correct," Shunsui validated, tipping his trademark straw hat in front of his relaxed visage, shadowing the fringe of his long curly brown hair.

"Was there anything unusual about him?" Ukitake probed.

"Nope," Shunsui assured, popping the 'P' in his single word, "Seemed like an ordinary human kid to me."

"Odd," Ukitake added, glancing over at Unohana, "Is it possible that the lad unconsciously absorbed a significant amount of your reiatsu, Captain Unohana?"

It was a valid theory, but unfortunately for the sickly captain of the Gotei Unohana knew it wasn't true, "Only the adequate amount needed to awaken his dormant powers."

"But that doesn't add up to his unnoticed appearance in the Seireitei," Hitsugaya interjected, "Even if his reiatsu was just dormant he still wouldn't have gone unnoticed."

The kid captain's comrades digested the food he had brought to the proverbial investigation table. It was a valid point. Even if Ryoga's reiatsu was just sleeping, anyone worth their salt would have sensed him from a mile away the moment he landed within the Soul Society. Not to mention with an abundance of reiatsu within him, even locked in a repository of sorts, he would have been a magnet for hollows.

"The reason for his invisibility must lie in the boy's lineage," The stoic captain of the sixth division, Byakuya Kuchiki, eloquently theorized.

"Good point, Captain Kuchiki," The huge, muscular figure of the captain of the seventh division complimented in a gruff, placid voice, opening his yellow, black dotted eyes to look over at the skull-like face of Mayuri who was standing near the end across from Kenpachi, "What intel did the Department and research pick up on the ryoka's background, Captain-Kurotsuchi?"

An unnerving broad grin curved itself across Mayuri's face, "Besides from possessing the same most 'special' inability to distinguish between left and right as Captain-Zaraki here.-"

"Hey."

"He has also fallen prey to one of the plethora of sacred ponds in the ancient grounds, Jusenkyo," Mayuri continued, ignoring Kenpachi's input as if it was never uttered. His not-so-disguised insult was almost completely swept underneath the carpet with his debrief of an old researched ground that became prehistoric and something of a myth as time passed on.

"Ah, now there's a tale I haven't heard in a while," Shunsui commented with a whistle.

"Wait. I'm confused. What is this Jusenkyo-place and what are the ramifications?" Being the youngest captain among his fellow captains, Toshiro was unaware of such ancient ponds that first came into existence centuries ago.

Mayuri didn't mind taking on the role of exposition to erase Toshiro's ignorance of the place, if not for the fact recalling the legendary grounds only enhanced his own fascination in the place, "Jusenkyo is a most peculiar place that is said to be older than our own Head Captain here."

Toshiro's emerald-leaf coloured eyes widened at the revelation, "No way…" If that were true then that would mean those primordial ponds were around even before he was conceived in his mother's womb. He needed confirmation, "Is that true Head Captain?"

Yamamoto squinted open his eyes, "Indeed, Captain-Kurotsuchi speaks the truth. I can recall when the location truly began to come into prevalence when I was just a brat."

"I see…" Toshiro's face scrunched up in a grimace as if he disliked the idea of Mayuri being right. It wasn't that. It was just that Mayuri wasn't the kind of guy who had a good heart and would brush off any doubts to his research with a smile.

He wouldn't outright say he was annoyed of his research being distrusted, but he would let someone know in his own mocking way. Just because he was a competitive and prideful S.O.B like that.

"Any further doubts you labour of my credibility?" Mayuri said sardonically with a shrug, "We might as well knock them out of the park now."

Toshiro managed to fight off the temptation to roll his eyes, knowing he would have just been giving the mad scientist the reaction he had been looking for, instead redirecting the conversation back on track, "If I recall, you mentioned the ryoka was a victim of the Jusenkyo grounds."

Mayuri sneered widely, "Ah, yes. Indeed I did now. Actually, it fascinates me that Captain-Unohana was seemingly ignorant to his plight considering she was the first to initiate actual conversation with him."

All eyes, barring the bored one of Kenpachi, turned to Unohana, who blinked at the sudden spotlight flashed on her, "Forgive my unintentional impudence, Captain-Unohana," The petite captain whose squad embodied the silent warriors of the night requested respectfully. She had a stern look about her, but respected each of her fellow captains as her equals, "But were you aware to the ryoka's connection to Jusenkyo?"

"No-no," Unohana waved off with a light shake of her head, "Ryoga-kun told me nothing of the sort." Not that she could blame him. If she had been victimized in the same way as him she wouldn't want to tell anyone either, especially someone she just met.

"I see."

Unohana sent a lovely, yet chilling smile that would've unnerved a normal shinigami Mayuri's way. However, Mayuri was no ordinary shinigami. He merely glanced her in indifference, refraining himself from giving her a look of annoyance.

This was a captain after all, and he supposed he had to treat her and his other comrades with at least a semblance of respect.

"I'm certain Captain-Kurotsuchi has knowledge on the curse Ryoga-kun bears," She stated.

"Curse?" Toshiro wondered.

Unohana hummed, "Each of the nigh limitless springs in Jusenkyo is the graveyard to a being that is said to have drowned there many years prior."

"Really?"

"Yes. Minuscule tales of each being's death have even been recorded in the Jusenkyo's files."

"But that doesn't make any sense," Toshiro insisted, "How could a myriad of beings conveniently make their way over to a specific location just to drown to their death in one of the plethora of springs? Unless someone was purposely drowning these beings, I fail to see how it's plausible that one location could have so many of these cursed springs."

"That is a mystery that has even exuded the Seireitei to this day," Byakuya explained.

"Strange." Toshiro commented on the seemingly eternal mystery that was Jusenkyo and its plethora of cursed springs, "So what curse does the ryoka possess and how does it affect him?"

"Simple. If whoever is clumsy enough to fall in one of the myriad of cursed springs, then that moron is cursed to turn into whatever creature or human drowned in said spring years prior when slashed with cold water. Only hot water can revert them back to their true forms," Mayuri explained with a look of disdain, "It truly perplexes me that a being's incompetence and stupidity could be crucial enough to fall into one of those springs."

"Everyone's free to make mistakes, Captain-Kurotsuchi," Unohana defended, mostly in Ryoga's defence. She liked that kid.

"Ones that could alter their entire lives for better or worst depending on the curse? I think not."

"Regardless of your individual opinions on whether the victims deserve their fate or not, what curse does the ryoka possess, Captain-Kurotsuchi?" Yamamoto requested to avoid any semblance of a discreet argument breaking out between the two.

"A useless piglet," Mayuri dished out with an offhanded flip of his palm.

"Darn, doesn't that suck for him?" Shunsui rhetorically asked with a whistle. He could become the most powerful warrior to ever live yet could still be taken out by the weakest guy known to man just by a splash of cold water.

"I have to agree," Toshiro said, "Regardless of how powerful he can become with such monstrous reiatsu, just one splash of cold water could leave him completely vulnerable."

"All the more incentive to add the boy to our ranks," Mayuri lay out nonchalantly.

Yamamoto turned a strong, questioning gaze the mad scientist's way, "What precisely are you suggesting Captain-Kurotsuchi?"

Mayuri tossed a hand as though the answer were obvious, "Only the logical method any self-persevering military would do to ensure they had the upper hand in an upcoming war; recruitment."

Yamamoto pried open his eyes, but managed to bottle his anger in front of his gathered subordinates, "Why would you suggest such a thing Captain-Kurotsuchi?"

"Actually, Master Genryusai. I must confess I, too, had given the idea myself thought since hearing his encounter with Shunsui from him himself," Ukitake admitted. The thought of having a pocket teleporter in their ranks increased his confidence that they could triumph in the incoming war.

"A human being in our ranks? That sounds so ridiculous," Soi Fon commented with a grimace, turning her head away.

"I will admit the concept does hold some merit," Byakuya began to rationalize, "To possess someone capable of actively teleporting would increase the proficiency of reconnaissance significantly."

"True I suppose," Soi Fon begrudgingly admitted, "Still the concept seems unconventional at best."

"Unfortunately, we don't have the option of sending Ryoga-kun back to the world of the living unchecked," Unohana reminded.

True enough. Each of them knew they couldn't just send the boy back to his hometown without taking one of two options first: Either A: training him to harness the vast amount of reiatsu within him: or B: Seal it off and erase his mind of this experience, which would be such a waste of potential in Unohana's opinion.

"Why don't we just meet half way on this?" Toshiro suggested in the hopes of coming to a compromise.

Yamamoto turned a wizened glance the kid captain's way, "What are the terms of the compromise that you propose Captain-Hitsugaya?" He commanded, giving Toshiro the floor to present his idea, much to his passive delight.

"I believe we can all agree that the potential of the ryoka being a valuable asset is high," Toshiro began, studying the reactions of his fellow captains, getting nods of happiness, reluctance and nonchalance from them.

"Yes, which is why he needs to be monitored carefully," Soi Fon inputted.

"Indeed, but why not train him in the meantime?" Toshiro suggested, clearing up any misinterpretations knowing what Unohana had planned to do with him before his emergence of vast reiatsu derailed those plans, "And I don't mean just assisting him in mastering his teleportation technique but actually putting him through a training program to see if he or not he's up for the task of partaking in the war."

A valid recommendation, but one that would have to take an immediate backseat to the searing white-hot luminescence that almost burned their retinas.

XxX

The otherworldly prowess of the Shinigami didn't cease to amaze Ranma as she watched waves of pure refreshing energy wash over Ichigo's body, with his head on her lap from the big guy's palms.

Piece by piece, she observed her boyfriend's wounds slowly begin to dissipate, leaving light marks that barely blemished his handsome features, giving her a much needed sense of reassurance since seeing Ichigo on the receiving end of a savage beating.

She had been horrified seeing the one she cared for beaten down like a dog, and felt even worse knowing she was powerless to do squat. She had been tempted to gallop over to the one-sided fight to get between her beloved and his tormentor, but knew from experience that would have only made matters worse.

Plenty of times in the past where she had been backed into a corner by a one-shot bad guy of the day Akane had bravely tried to aid her, only to be sweep aside into the danger zone, leaving Ranma feeling terrible that she had gotten hurt for her sake.

Ranma couldn't put Ichigo through that in additional to the initial humiliation he was already feeling being manhandled casually, as much as she wanted to do something to stop his sufferings.

"So, if you can, can you recall any distinct features of the being you fought?" Kisuke asked, being patient and polite as he snapped his fan shut with an audible snap, something Ranma was appreciative of for both their sake.

Ichigo sighed, more grateful for the comfort of his girlfriend's lap and scent than the waves of revitalizing energy washing over him from Tessai's hands, "Yeah. He had all the features of a hollow, mask and hole, but on a human body."

"Interesting," Kisuke remarked with a stroke of his stubble hair.

"Do you know what that… thing was, that hurt Ichi-chan, Mr Urahara?" Ranma asked with two winsome orbs of curiosity glancing over at Kisuke's knowing smirk.

Kisuke's smirk softened at the girl before he jabbed his index finger up in reasoning, "I actually do know, Miss Saotome." It took all of a second for Ranma to come to the realization that she had been formally referred to as a woman for the first time before she smiled bashfully.

Miss Saotome huh?

That had a ring to it.

"The creature Mr Kurosaki fought earlier was most likely an Arrancar," Kisuke announced, eliciting equally puzzling glances from the teens in front of him. They exchanged looks with the other as if to ascertain that they were on the same page of confusion.

"An Arrancar?"

"What the hell's that?"

Ranma started and Ichigo finished.

"An Arrancar's a hollow whom has the gained the powers of a shinigami via the removal of its mask," Kisuke coolly explained for their benefit, "Subsequently, it regains its former consciousness from when it was alive, no longer acting solely on its primal instincts."

"Wait. Hold up," Ranma interrupted, looking for more information on the first form of the masked creatures, "Are ya saying hollows were once humans?"

"Human souls to be precise," Kisuke answered, his mind already telling him Ichigo was unable of fully teaching her of the masked creatures. In all fairness, if there wasn't a reason to tell her then why should he? He wasn't a teacher.

"Oh?" Ichigo was left groaning slightly from the loss of his massage to his cheekbones as Ranma crossed her arms, "Least I don't have to worry about turning into a hollow-thing randomly at night like a werewolf then."

"Well spoken!" Kisuke beamed. Beside him, Yoruichi cracked a smirk in her leg-crossed position. Even in dark times, her sense of humour was shining to provide a path of positivity.

"But how do souls become hollows anyway?" Ranma questioned, "I thought you grim reaper guys were meant to guide 'em to heaven after they died."

"Shinigami are indeed responsible for escorting deceased souls to the Soul Society, it just isn't always guaranteed that they can get to the lost souls before any wandering hollows do," Kisuke reasoned, "Even if they don't get devoured their chain of fate'll run its course, turning them into hollows inevitably."

"Chain of fate? Is that the thing that'll determine whether a soul'll go to heaven or hell as a hollow, or wherever hollows reside?" Ranma ventured to guess.

"Not quite. The chain of fate is the remnants of a soul's heart and can keep you bound to the living world if you were ever separated from your body. If your chain of fate happens to sever then you would be unable to return to your human body."

"In other words, you bite the dust." Ranma summarized.

"Exactly," Kisuke confirmed, pleased Ranma was quick-witted enough to grasp his explanations without much pause. It made the process much less stressful for all, "Hollows reside in Hueco Mundo, an altered world similar to the Soul Society."

"Got it." Ranma assured. She remembered Ichigo's remark in regards to the purification of hollows and linked it with Kisuke's of hollows once being human, "Can hollows be saved or are they doomed to be that way forever onward?"

"It's the former, fortunately," Kisuke reassured, "Shinigami can cleanse hollows' souls, reverting them back to their human forms before sending them back to the Soul Society, but there's a limit," His voice grew gravely serious, "For example, if the hollow on trial had a committed a sin deemed irredeemable then it'll be imprisoned in hell instead of being cleansed of its hollowifcation and sent to the Soul Society."

Ranma stared at Kisuke for seconds on end in silent amazement. She wanted to say something more meaningful that could sum up the depth behind the masked creatures she considered generic demons the night one attacked her and Ichigo, but found nothing other than one.

"Wow…" What'd one say to the fact crazed demonic creatures had a history behind them?

"So who was the asshole in charge of the one that left my ass to dry?" Ichigo asked bluntly, trying to get back on track now that Ranma was up to speed much on the supposed first form of an Arrancar.

Ranma was quick to catch on to Ichigo's disinterest of her learning of the hollows and turned a teasing grin his way, "Aw, was I boring ya Ichi-chan?"

"Not at all," Ichigo assured simply. He could understand her desire to erase her ignorance of mystical creatures she had only been acquainted with a day ago and a chance of being reacquainted with its second form. He was much the same way when Rukia dragged him into her world, ignorant to the workings of the spiritual world and wanting to know.

Ignorance wasn't always bliss in this case.

"You're so sweet!" Ranma beamed, making Ichigo nod his head as if he had heard it a thousand times already.

The tangerine-headed warrior glanced back at Kisuke, ignoring the older man's soft smile at their warm display of affection, "So is the asshole's boss?"

Kisuke's next answer would cause the blood in Ichigo's system to turn icy cold, "Our old friend, Sosuke Aizen."

"Aizen…" He acknowledged with a deep inhale, his eyes extended wide in anger.

"Who's Aizen?" Ranma asked.

"A magnificent bastard," Ichigo deadpanned.

"Could ya be any less vague?"

"He's an asshole who played me and all my friends like pawns to get this thing _this_ asshole," He paused momentarily to glare at Kisuke who covered his sheepish smile with his fan, "Created and hid inside my friend's fake body. Aizen almost had her killed."

"Manipulative chess master, huh?" Ranma pulsed her lips in thought, stroking her chin, "Sounds like someone I know."

"Who's that?"

"Nabiki Tendo."

"Ah, one of Kasumi's sisters, right?"

"Yeah. She's one of those 'puppet-masters' like that Aizen-guy."

A quiet, barely audible hum of contemplation turned their attention to Kisuke to find the man rubbing his stubble thoughtfully, "During your time around her, how potent was Miss Tendo's manipulation?"

Ichigo spared a contemplating gaze at Kisuke. He wanted to ask was he seriously implying Aizen's potential interest in Kasumi's sister. Granted, he had never met the girl. He just doubted anyone from that town could be dangerous enough in a serious sense to warrant the big bad's attention. But there Kisuke was, asking with sincere contemplation.

Ranma's answer was straight forward enough too and justified his curiosity, "Crazy enough that she had the whole school in the palms of her hands, even the staff were wary of her."

Kisuke whistled, "Whoa. I take it she was somewhat of a formidable fighter by your standards." He didn't mean that to be rude. With such a gulf in power between humans and shinigami came the varying definitions of what each specie considered strength. Ranma figured this, and didn't make a fuss of it.

"Nope. Nabiki's never been strong. Just really cunning."

"Wow. Impressive."

"So I guess keeping them away from each other come game time will be a priority?"

Something about that sheepish laugh his girlfriend let out told the orange-haired young warrior they were all several steps behind Aizen.

"About that…"

"C'mon."

"Akane told me she hasn't heard from her sis since you swung by that day to pick up my stuff."

"Just our luck..." Ichigo stated, rolling his eyes, "You don't think…"

"Dunno, honestly," His red-haired girlfriend shrugged, "I'm not sure what use Nabiki could bring to a bad guy."

"Didn't you say she had everyone in your school under her thumb or something just now?" Ichigo ventured to reason, not knowing what else to make of Aizen's potentially odd decision to recruit Kasumi's younger sister in his ranks.

"Yeah, but those guys are cubs," Ranma shot down the idea of the chess mistress' pawns making any kind of difference to Aizen's already strong army, "And this Aizen-guy has tigers who makes you shinigami-guys look like cubs."

"Hey!"

"I'm just sayin'!" She grinned sweetly, easily soothing his mild burst of anger with delicate strokes of her palms over his heated cheeks, "At most, they would suffice as meat shields or decoys for the big guns to gain the upper hand."

"Or, you know, he could just be looking for a fine piece of ass to bed," The young lovers blinked at each other before looking baffled at Yoruichi's casual assertion of Aizen's potential reasons for recruiting Nabiki Tendo, a sly smirk affixed to her face. Beside her, Kisuke's own visage had split into a wider cheeky grin he naturally kept masqueraded with his fan.

Ranma scratched at her scalp when Yoruichi's posture or expression showed zero signs of cracking under the intensity of such flat looks from her and Ichigo to reveal it as all one big, childish joke, "You think?" It honestly seemed that way to her own concept of a villain.

She had always pictured them as cold heartless, asexual SOBs that cared for no one and nothing other than their own twisted ambitions. Those in their employment were little more than disposable pawns they would and could do away with, without a thread of remorse or regret.

A picture-esque moustache-twirling bad guy straight out of a comic book, she supposed; something she only recently got the privilege of getting into since getting off the road at the Tendos months ago.

"Oh yeah," The purple-haired older woman swayed a lax hand over her shoulder, as if banishing Ranma's doubt away, "Must be taxing for the guy plotting out his grand scheme to overtake the worlds. Heh, even bad guys need a… relief," Her voice dipped off at the tail end in a seductive whisper, causing a shiver to run down Ichigo's spine.

Ranma could feel it on her knees, but for the sake of staying on topic decided not to call him out on it, "I guess so. Just seems weird, y'know?" She reasoned, "I mean, whoever heard of bad guy needing to get his game on?"

"Don't be too surprise little lady!" Kisuke insisted beatifically, "While it's true Mr Aizen leans more on the darker side of the spectrum he is still a Shinigami, and even us Shinigami are often overcome by an erotic desire that requires to be sated," More impossibly that they were actually having such a conversation with their seniors, Kisuke casually snaked an arm around Yoruichi's waist, inching her to him, "Isn't that right, Yoruichi?"

"Oh, right in front of the kids. Why, Kisuke…" The rest went unsaid.

"Of course! They gotta learn sometime!"

"And who better to teach 'em but their mentors, huh?"

"Now you're getting it!"

"I'll get the uniform!"

"I'll get the whip cream..."

And so, the junior lovers sat in complete awkward silence watching their senior mentors unabashedly flirting with each other as though it was most natural thing in the world to them. Occasionally, Kisuke's fingers would flicker to Yoruichi's womanhood, allowing the other five freedom to play with her nipples.

They gazed upward and downward at the other, their faces eclipsing with scarlet at the unspoken assertion that gleamed in their own pair of sapphire and hazel hued orbs.

 _I will have you_

Luckily for the innocent couple the forgotten broad-shoulder butler sat in seiza across from Kisuke still mending Ichigo's wounds saved the two from their unbidden view of their flirting mentors that aroused their own innate desires, clearing his throat placidly, "Master, but I believe it's time we began countermeasures to Mister Aizen's preparations."

"Alright, alright," Kisuke accepted, seeing reason that his play-by-play session with his maybe lover had their younger successors in an awkward place, scooting away from the purple-haired woman, much to Ranma's relief as she both sighed and wiped her brow mentally.

'Thanks for the save, big-guy,' She mused, though the grateful smile she gave him was vocal enough to him that she appreciated his intervention.

"Going back to the subject of Aizen possibly recruiting all those under Miss Nabiki's control, don't be surprised at the amount of firepower the additional muscle can bring in," Kisuke explained.

Ranma tilted her head, "Yeah, but they're weak though."

"Probably because they haven't had their full potential unlocked yet." Kisuke explained, "The strength of a spiritual combatant, shinigami or likewise, is often dictated on the amount of power they had in life."

Ranma's eyes widened. She didn't miss the distinct clarification that the upgrade to spiritual warrior wasn't exclusive to shinigami. Oh, that was the important part to her. It opened up a lot more doors in regards to her training. If she were to become a spiritual combatant, implying all she needed to do was to tap into her reiatsu, her power could receive a tremendous boost given the potential she'd built training throughout her life.

While compared to shinigami and the other disgustingly powerful spiritual entities, she knew was little more than fodder as much as it pained her ego to admit, but by human standards, well, she may as well had been her world's Saitama. Able to do things – like skipping from building rooftop to building rooftop as though they were stones - normal humans like her old two acquaintances in Furinkan High School found otherworldly, impossible.

For that power to be stored away in a vault for something a hundred times greater to emerge… well, the thought of her potential newfound power made her wet with excitement! She already felt like a kid going to Alton towers when she had been offered the chance to become Yoruichi's disciple, but now, she was dreaming.

"Awesome!" The redhead crowed victoriously, sapphire eyes silting with confidence as she clenched her fists, "Now I can't wait to hit the dirt!"

Yoruichi guffawed, throwing her head back for a few seconds of hearty laughter before gazing back at the edger redhead with her typical sly smirk, "Someone's raring to go, huh?" Ranma smiled shyly, then nodded regardless, "Alright," Fixing her palms on her thighs, she stood, "We can start right now." All this sitting around was cramping her style anyway.

"Alright," Ranma said, though hesitated, her gaze lingering down on her boyfriend's usual miserable visage.

"It's cool. Go on," He insisted lazily, "I'll be fine." She nodded with a grateful smile before giving him her hand. He savoured the sweet touch of her palm against his cheek, relaxing against the smooth limp for all of ten seconds before laying a kiss on the back of her hand, softening Ranma's smile.

She carefully slid her knees from under his head, cupping his head to allow a gentle descent to the pillow below. Compared to her lap, that pillow might as well had been a solid stone for all the comfort it gave him.

She pecked him on the cheek; which would turn out to be the last remnants of warmth she would leave him with for the time being before rising to her feet and disappearing in Yoruichi's trail.

"Well that was nice," Kisuke commented with sincerity, finding it apparent to fan himself now that conversation had seemingly died down.

"Yeah," Ichigo murmured dejectedly, pushing himself up to a sitting position with his elbows. He wasn't a hundred percent by any means, evident by the strain it took just raising up in of itself, but his body was feeling noticeably healthier than it did moments before.

"Mr Kurosaki," Apparently, his paramedic at present wasn't keen on the idea of him rushing his recuperation and voiced his concerns, "I may have healed the blunt of your wounds, but your body still needs time to recuperate naturally."

"I'm… okay, thanks," He tried to assure, easing the giant's hand from him even though the strain in his stutter spoke contrary to his assurance.

Tessai's glasses fogged over, "Then what is it you need young man?"

As luck would have it Kisuke figured something was bothering him by the tension in his shoulders, "Something wrong? You seem troubled." That and the fact that he waited for Ranma to vacant his presence let Kisuke know he had been contemplating something he didn't want his girlfriend in on.

"Yeah," He didn't try to hide it either. The hard gaze in his eyes could have made a lesser man whimper, "It's about my inner hollow."

Kisuke's eyes dilated in recognition. Likewise, behind those lenses of his, Tessai held a similar expression of surprise, 'Of course. I should have realized sooner.' The fact he didn't want Ranma knowing about it should have been a dead giveaway. They had spoke briefly about this topic following Ichigo's return from the Soul Society.

"He's been getting more… persistent lately," He grit his teeth, clenching a fist, "Even appearing in my nightmares," He hung his head, "I'm at my wit's end here, man."

"I see. That is a pickle," Kisuke said, though the all-knowing smile affixed to his face reassured Ichigo all was not lost, "But!" And there it was, complete with a raised finger demanding attention, "I just so happen to know a group of guys who might be able to help you out with your dilemma."

Ichigo's hazel orbs shone with a mixture of emotion; disbelief, confusion, and hope, "Really?"

"Of course."

"And you're sure they'll help me with my hollow problem?"

"They have no choice! They own me a couple of I/O/Us I've yet to cash in on!" The orange-haired shinigami bristled at the evil gleam that accompanied Kisuke's cheerful tone, "And I do believe it's time payday should come around, don't you?"

Ichigo gave a numb nod. It was all he could do.

"Rest up in the meantime Mr Kurosaki," Kisuke forewarned, though the reason went over Ichigo's head as he sobered up, affixing a hand on his bucket-shaped hat.

Ichigo nodded again, lowering himself to his borrowed futon below, "I'm putting my trust in you, Mr Urahara," He didn't know of the tiger's den Kisuke planned on thrusting him into. All his mind was fixated on was a sure-fire method to tame the hollow within him to keep it from overhauling him and going on a rampage, killing Ranma as a result.

He couldn't lose her. She became the light of his life the night they made their relationship official. He saw himself having a future with her. His family had already approved and accepted her, which only increased his credence that she was right for him. The last way he would want their relationship to end in flames was himself to kill her.

The thought was unbearable.

"Don't let me down," He warned, the steely intent in those hazel orbs promising torment he would find some way to subject Kisuke to even from beyond the grave if it came to it. He tucked himself back in as Kisuke merely smiled his way.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Mr Kurosaki."

Ichigo would learn of the tigers that waited his arrival in their den and with the knowledge of their existence, learn running to Kisuke Urahara for advice on hollow problems wasn't always the best place to turn.

It was the only place.

* * *

 **I'm back bitches! I know what you're thinking, "Thugs, what the fuck, man. We're sittin' on the edges of our sits waitin' to see what happens next, and you decide to take a vacay? Fuck you." And for that I apologize, but Rainbow Six Siege, man... Damn, that game has me hooked. But with Bleach having been cruelly and, imo, unjustly terminated my muse returned in all full.**

 **Fuck. Bleach didn't deserve that treatment. I know it had it's ups and downs, and it had a lot of them, (I'll be the first to admit that) the ship lost more than a few passengers, but it was still beloved and entertaining. Sure, the sales wasn't as grand as they were when the series first kicked off and shot off to orbit in the Soul Society arc, but it was still selling. *Sigh.* I dunno, man. if a series is still selling, still bringing in money, why cancel it? Just let it run its course and take what you get from it.**

 **No series deserves the treatment Bleach got. Not Ranma, not Naruto, not Toriko, not Beezlebub, not InuYasha. None. Fuck. Bleach got the YuYu Hakusho treatment. YuYu Hakusho was also rushed back in the day, which is why we never actually got the fight between Yusuke and Yomi in the manga. Just thank god for the anime. Damn it. Why can't Bleach get the same?**

 **Two of the Big Three down in such a way. Well, still got One Piece. That'll be good with Lord Oda's writing. All hail Lord Oda! He will save us from this nightmare.**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Poor little Ryoga. He just can't stay out of trouble, can he? Lol.**

 **Until time... If you any have an Xbox as I traded in my PS4 for one recently and have Siege feel free to hit me up. We'll squad up and kill some motherfuckers together.**

 **Peace**


	10. The Intention of the King & Queen

**Disclaimer: Bleach or Ranma ½**

* * *

"Now where am I?" Ryoga almost systematically relayed his most frequent and used question with an innocent tilt of his head in perplexity, his eyes scanning the ceiling and the wide, spacey room with light brown flooring, "This looks kinda important."

"Hoo allah hoo allah, what do we have here?"

Ryoga frozen on reflex at the sound of the distinct easy-going voice emanating in the spacey room, rotating his head to the carefree face of Shunsui, mischief shining underneath the edge of his straw hat, "Uncle Shu."

Wow, he got nicknamed "Uncle" by one of the younger generations. That was great if not for the fact it meant he had his youth still. His indirect compliment of Shunsui's age almost made the straw-hat clad man guilty was what he was about to do, "I never realized you were quite the playa' Ryo-kun."

Ryoga stiffened, awkwardly glancing down to the towel-clad girl he currently held bridal-style in his arms, who seemed to have regained enough awareness as she had her arms folded over her chest deadpanning a look up at him.

Whoops.

He had NOT taken into account just how suspect an image of him carrying an nigh-naked girl in his arms like a frantic lunatic would appear to the locals, authority figures, and just about anyone of the land.

"S'not what it looks like…" He denied shakily.

Shunsui kept piling it on, "Remind me to warn my Nanao-chan about you."

"Hey."

The bandanna-clad mockingly proclaimed playboy found himself freezing up again at the call of the very distinct rough pitched tone which had burned itself into his memory, pivoting to come face to face with the massive scarred faced titan he was sure to make note sometime in the very near future to avoid at all costs.

"Musclehead Captain!" He squeaked.

Kenpachi's eager grin widened as he begun to draw upon his sword, "How're you doin'?"

"Uhhh." Maybe just looking away from him would cause him to lose all interest in him.

And maybe doing so would bring Ryoga face-to-face with another individual he had yet to be introduced with but still wore the distinguished white haori scary motherly Unohana, Musclehead guy and the old man sported, which meant the petite woman with short midnight blue hair held that exact same terrifying position of power Ryoga was positive he made sure to stay on the good side of.

Captain.

And she was glaring at him.

"Oh crap." A quick look around revealed he was surrounding by white haori clad shingami symbolizing their high station of authority, and all, if not most, were frowning in irritation at him.

Wait. On second thought that guy with the long hair styled in distinguished white headpieces was scowling at him with additional annoyance than him merely interrupting their gathering with a nigh naked girl in his arms, like he knew her on a personal level.

God help him if they were together… and that was a wolf?

"Are you a wolf?" He asked the broad-shouldered canidae figure of Komamura, one of the few who didn't look like he wanted to discipline him on the spot.

"Yes," He admitted simply, "You don't seem surprised."

And for good reason. With all the bizarre curse forms he had encountered throughout his misadventures with Ranma in Nerima a wolf in human form seemed kind of light by comparison, "Meh, seen crazier," Komamura nodded with easy acceptance.

Just given the level of liveliness the boy's appearance had sparked in their gathering alone let alone the Seiteirei told the canidae captain he was used to the unnatural.

"Ryoga-kun." He scrunched up his countenance in futile denial. He had saw her briefly in his quick observation of the room and hoped if he avoided her long enough she would have mercy and overlook the whole thing.

Clearly, he was reaching for the stars, "Yes, Mommy."

"Wasn't you told to stay put until a meeting could be held in regards to your situation?" She _smiled_ and Ryoga already knew just how NOT nice that was.

He was sweating profusely, "Well, um… You see…" A quick glance down at the girl in his arms made him lose all sense of what little conviction he had that he could successfully half-ass his way out of trouble. How could he explain she was in a bad way without coming clean to his peeping of her?

He was fucked.

And if the grunted mumbles of barely stifled anger was any indication from the deep, booming voice which had also engraved itself a permanent place in his memory that just might be coming to fruition sooner rather than later.

He twirled on his toes, blanching at the sight of Yamamoto's fully eclipsed face of deep scarlet rage. He looked, for intents and purposes, that he was about to blow a fuse at any given moment.

"Old man!" He yelped, and had the good grace to hold the girl away from the fuming old man.

"Moron!" A single step of dematerializing movement and the elder was beside the youngster, greeting his face with the surface of the flooring with a single strike of his calloused fist atop his crop of black hair.

Somehow, and skilfully, Ryoga had kept his arms held up in his rough fall to the floor below to shield the towel-clad girl from the impact, thus the result was one Rukia Kuchiki sitting on top of the back of Ryoga Hibiki's head.

What else was new in his life?

* * *

 _Ranma ½_

* * *

Kuno sighed in the forward thrust motion of his air stroke. Only a day had gone by since he had been coaxed into surrendering the pigtailed girl's hand to the honourable brute Kurosaki and already he felt a part of him was missing. He still had the wonderful Akane Tendo to aspire to free from that dastardly Saotome's vain hand, but somewhere rooted deep within his subconscious a blank gap remained; a piece of a puzzle that couldn't be completed without it.

He visualized the goddess that was the pigtailed girl being happy with Kurosaki countless of times, but each time felt as unnatural as the last. Where did that uncertainty spawn from? It wasn't like Kurosaki weren't a chivalrous gentleman in their brief interaction at the train station, so where did this lack of confidence arouse from?

Was it merely the act of entrusting the duty of ensuring the safety of the pigtailed girl to another seemingly honourable gentleman or that he had been coerced in doing so? Either explanation would have fit the bill in his mind.

He had never liked putting his faith in another man to safeguard a proper lady he had felt obligated was his duty much less feeling like he was forced into doing so, even if the older gentleman had been nothing but civil to him and his fellow teens.

"Sasuke!" He roared. He wouldn't admit it out loud, but the mock samurai was thankful for the distraction as he whirled on his loyal servant tucked underneath a pile of bushes, assumedly hidden away, "How many godforsaken times I have forbid thee from interrupting my practise!?"

Jig decidedly up, the diminutive rat-faced ninja slithered into view, wearing his typical apprehensive expression on his visage, "My apologies, Master Kuno."

With a look of regarded disdain, Kuno twirled his head from Sasuke, "Consider thy intrusion forgiven this time."

Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank you Master Kuno."

Lingering a probing gaze on his servant for a second longer, Kuno fully turned away from him, resuming his previous sword stance and continuing with his training once more as though Sasuke was merely a spectator off the streets.

Sasuke would have felt at ease at the smooth continuation had he hadn't seen the tension in his master's shoulders, "Uh, I don't mean to intrude again, Master Kuno, but I feel I must ask; are you okay?" He tried bravely, pushing himself up to one knee in a bow, "You seem troubled."

There was a noticeable pause that appeared lengthy and gave way to Kuno's sigh, the swordsman releasing his stance once more, "Nay," He denied, "I was only contemplating the whereabouts of my evil sister." Sasuke blinked, confusion drowning on him from Kuno's questioning gaze, "Have thee seen her by chance?"

"No, not at all," Sasuke answered quickly, waving his hands dismissively, "I haven't seen Mistress Kodachi since she departed for Karakura."

With another intense studying gaze directed upon his countenance from his master that amounted to another sheepish laugh, Kuno released a sigh and resumed his practise once more. He was far too concerned with his sister's late return to contemplate her knowledge of the pigtailed girl's location to begin with.

Had she really stayed in Karakura Town in pursuit of her desired love in despite of the warning they had received all of a yesterday ago? True he hadn't officially seen his sister at their epiphany, but the saintly Samaritan (had) assured him that she had seen the errors of her ways, the light so to speak, and his methods of coercion were nothing but subtle and… terrifying.

But this was his sister, and considering how stubborn she can be…

Off deep in his own musings trying to ascertain his sister's whereabouts and reasons, Kuno never noticed the eclipse of their line of sight. Sasuke did, and turning to it made all the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and drained all the colouring out of his tanned-skin. He gaped, and a single high-pitched silent gasp left him breathless, unable to alert his master of the terrifying phenomenon for the briefest of seconds.

For the few moments, he flopped his mouth like a fish, begging his brain to form the simple coherent syllables comprising his master's name.

"M-Master Kuno!" He eventually managed to choke out.

Intrigued as to what had warranted his servant's horrified squeak of desperation Kuno followed Sasuke's terrified gaze, and his eyes widened at the tunnel of onyx laid before him.

"What in the world…?" He murmured, baffled by the unbidden entry of the silhouetted doorway in his backyard. It was odd. Like the very air itself had been sliced in an impeccable rectangle shape the size of a double door, "Just what in blazes is going on?"

" _Oh_ ~ Kuno." He blanched. He knew that voice. Lacking the term of endearment that usually accompanied his name he knew it. There was no way he could forget it. That sickly sweet tone was unmistakeable.

And there she was, standing in the centre of darkness as though it was a door.

"…Nabiki Tendo," He murmured, his hairs bristling.

"Ah, ah, ah," She tsk'd playfully, as though she was chiding a child, arms folded confidently over her chest, "Now is that anywhere to greet an old, dear friend of yours, Kuno?"

"Humph," He scoffed, scrubbing off the very concept of friendship in their relationship, "We could hardly be called such now, could we?" He could note to her eerily pale companion standing impassively behind her, and flinched. Those eyes, terrifyingly soulless orbs of nothingness, stared back into his own with horrifying intention, like they were piecing his very soul to see what made him click.

"Now, tell me! What sorcery is this?" He demanded, exchanging wary glances every so often with her escort.

"All in good time, Kuno," Nabiki assured, composure coolly secured in despite of her pawn's open defiance. She stepped out the Garganta, making casual strides forward to Kuno with an air of power surrounding her, "But in the meantime, what would you say to the chance to reclaim what's rightfully yours?"

Kuno's eyes dilated wider, "What art thee speaking of?"

"Why, your pigtailed girl of course!" She chirped.

He balked and in that instance Nabiki knew the now likely recruitment of Tatewaki Kuno was guaranteed. She could see the war waging inside of his head as though she'd already manifested mind control as he tussled comically about, flailing his arms for added effect.

"Nay!" He finally refused with a great deal of effort, huffing heavily with sweat beading down his forehead. It took a great deal of effort from Ulquiorra to resist rolling his eyes at such stupidity.

How did these humans evoke such worthless emotions from him? Annoyance as it may have been it was irritating all the same that mortals like his lord's queen and this buffoon made him feel.

"I, Tatewaki Kuno, have foresaw the repercussions the error of my ways will befall me! I will not dishonour the Saintly Samaritan's deed by regressing back to my previous ways!" Kuno declared vigorously.

"Oh Master Kuno." Sasuke was touched by his master's conviction to stay good. His honour was legitimizing before his very eyes.

"But Kuno, you wouldn't leave your precious pigtailed-girl in trouble, would ya?" Nabiki asked, voice dipping an octave in the mocking sweet encouragement of Kuno's duty, reigniting the mental war within his mind once again as he stiffened. Intent on pushing him all the way in the coffin she strode to his side with a devious gleam lighting up her orbs, embracing his shoulders with mock comfort, "And at a time where she needs her Kuno-senpai most."

His countenance scrunched up from the sheer pain that was the raging conflict within the recess of his mind before he put it on standby to address the devil on his shoulder; his expression easing up, "But Kurosaki assured me of her safety."

"How can ya be so sure he was telling the truth?" Nabiki's smooth counter easily broke through the already flimsy defence of Kuno, turning his attention back to the warring conflict in his head, "You know, he could have just said that so you would leave them alone, leaving him with the pigtailed girl and the freedom to do as he pleases to her…" Her voice dipped to a seductive whisper with the images she was integrating with his mind, none of which were good for the "light side" in his head.

The mental vision of malice and lust she had discreetly slipped into his fragile barriers played out in the recess of his mind, pushing himself further down in the abyss of insanity.

"Master Kuno, no!" Sasuke cried out beseechingly, scurrying on all fours out of his hiding place like some kind of rodent, "She's tricking you, Master! Don't believe her!"

In a measured, robotic-like fashion that had Sasuke gulping in suspense the diminutive ninja servant found the chess mistress's head rotating in his direction, presenting him with the most profound and terrifying sinister smile he ever had the displeasure of lying eyes on. And – it might have been his fears talking – but her eyes were lit up in a red, demented glow of sadistic glee.

"Why, little errand boy," She began patronizingly, "Are you trying to destroy Kuno's dreams?" She shook her head and tsk'd in mock-disappointment, "How cruel. And I thought a loyal servant such as yourself would be happy that his master is doing everything within his power to pursuit his dreams," She flashed him an expectant smirk, "You would want Kuno to be happy, wouldn't you, little errand boy?"

Throughout her twisted speech of manipulation, Sasuke was left gasping for air, 'Monster!' She was so cruel, leading his master into the void of darkness under the guise of justice. Even making it look as though he was the selfish one for even attempting to persuade his master to turn down her offer that would decidedly lead him down a dark path Sasuke feared he would never be able to return from.

Even now, the longer he stared at her, the more demon he saw in her, until she was nothing but an embodiment of evil itself. Just a darkened silhouette only lit up by the sinister red glow of her orbs and wicked smirk across her lips.

'Oh Master Kuno.'

If only Kuno shared his lenses of perception he might have gotten the message to hightail it to the furthest ends of the earth, but alas the visions of girl Ranma torment that the demoness taken humanoid form had installed in his head kept him preoccupied, entirely too engrossed to even notice the demoness' subtle oppression of his loyal servant.

" _Kuno-senpai, help me."_

" _Shut up, whore! You know you love it!"_

His interpretation of girl Ranma cried out pleadingly, bare, creamy legs held up by two hulking arms, curled at the knees. Above her, hovered Kuno's depiction of Ichigo, sneering lasciviously down at her with his hardened sword unsheathed, ready to forcefully penetrate her…

"Oh, I've been but a fool!" Kuno declared, which all but marked his surrender to Nabiki's lure, "To believe the pig-tailed girl would be secure anyway that isn't with I, her saviour!"

"Master Kuno!"

"Good, good," Evil's incarnate approved in a casual tone, speculating her nails, "You've seen your mistakes. Just know it's never too late to rectify them, but only you can fix your own mistakes if you're willing to put in the effort. So," She grinned at him cheerily, "What'll it be? Will you join us and save your precious pigtailed girl from the 'vile barbarian' Kurosaki or decline and let her be _sexually_ tormented by him instead?"

When he solidly gazed upon her this time gone was that open defiance and scorn, and in its place lied resolve, "I know not of what conspiracy thee hast in the making," He began, gathering his words with a deep inhale, "But if it involves cleansing the world of the likes of Saotome and Kurosaki, thus liberating the fair maiden once and for all, then I wish to be part of it."

"Oh I can assure you, our endgame will be beneficial," Nabiki assured smoothly with a set of well-picked words leaving none to the imagination and yet not revealing any more than necessary. A perfect innuendo.

Kuno nodded, "Then let us be off."

Sasuke felt as though he was trapped in a nightmare watching his master strolling with confidence toward the hole of darkness Evil's incarnate had appeared from. He had always been wary of her and the complete control she had over him watching them interact in school from afar, but he would have never anticipated that she would one day lead him into the darkness to only the _devil_ knows where, to be integrated into an organization decidedly shady and evil.

At most, he viewed her as a selfish user who would heartlessly milk his master for all he was worth until that day came when they would graduate from high school, going their separate ways forever. This was all too real and horrifying.

"Master Kuno!" He beseeched, ready to scurry and glue himself to Kuno's side.

"Silence Sasuke!" Kuno commanded, stopping Sasuke in his tracks with one foot on the edge of the Garganta, "I'm leaving to purge the world of the likes of the evil sorcerer Saotome and vile barbarian Kurosaki," He turned, fully stepping into the darkness of the portal, "Thee can wait here for my heroic return."

And so, Sasuke was left on his knees, left to futilely implore the boy he had faithfully served since being taken in by him all those years ago when he had nowhere else to turn as he followed the demoness in the tunnel of darkness, but all for naught. And when the last remnants of Kuno disappeared in the distance his heart shattered at the seams.

"Toodle-oo."

A taunting farewell of mock-good will from Evil's incarnate herself only rubbed salt in his wound as the gateway his master had just ventured through moments before disappeared, leaving him feeling truly alone.

All he could do was let out one final bloodcurdling scream of absolute misery.

"Master Kuno!"

* * *

 _BLEACH_

* * *

"You didn't have to hit me y'know?" Ryoga mumbled persistently, arms crossed sat next to the girl clad in his own long-sleeved yellow jumper to offer her a semblance of decency. Actually, with her towel still wrapped her figure underneath his jumper, it took could have passed off as a skirt.

"Silence!" Though his anger had cooled Ryoga still wasn't ballsy enough to risk disobeying the head honcho's order.

After all it could've been a lot worse he figured. He could've held Ryoga in custody or worse had another "sparring" session with him. Being lumped on the head and forced to sit in the centre of two lines of adults as if he was a kid in school awaiting his punishment seemed light in comparison to what he could've faced for treading outside his liberties.

Of course he had to hear his ultimate consequence for not doing as he was told, and that could potentially be worse than what he imagined facing as discipline but in this case Ryoga opted not to consider the negatives.

You know, for his sanity.

"Now, tell me why were you found in the Kuchiki grounds when I specifically forbid you from leaving the Fourth Division barracks, brat?" Yamamoto ordered, towering over the forms of the two youngsters before him.

"I teleported again," To his maturity and mainly his inability to maintain an impeccable poker-face through lying Ryoga did own up.

That was good but that still begged the obvious question of why he made movements when he was all but ordered not to. The kind maiden Unohana asked this to his fortunate, "But why did you feel you needed to move yourself, Ryoga-kun?" He looked over at her, wary of the inevitable glance of disappointment.

That sort of subtle approach of scolding was far more effective than shouting at him which he could just tune out.

"You were told to stay where you were for your own safety," She ended.

Ryoga rubbed the back of his head, turning his shameless grin away from her, "Well, when nature calls, you gotta answer it… Right?"

The implications were not lost on anyone. The more serious captains in Toshiro, Byakuya and Soi Fon rolled their eyes at the simplicity of Ryoga's reasoning to initiate movement while the nicer ones in Ukitake and Komamura offered him sympathetic glances.

Kenpachi burst out in laughter, Shunsui hid a chuckle underneath his breath, Unohana subjected him to one of her signature faux kind smiles of hidden malevolence, and Mayuri, who was somewhere in between the two extremes, merely shook his head at the simplicity of it all, muttering something about "useless simpletons."

"You mean to tell me," Then there was her, his unbidden passenger, seething in fury with her head momentarily lowered to her lap before shooting him a furious accusatory glare, causing him to flinch, "-You interrupted my bath to use the bathroom?!"

"Hey! Cut me some slack here alright! I didn't know that was the bathroom or that you were in there!"

"Idiot! You could've had the decency to knock first!"

"I wasn't thinking! Alright?"

"Wow, it's like watching a lover's quarrel," Shunsui joked, redirecting the fiery glares of the youngsters in front of him and the controlled one of the Kuchiki clan leader beside him onto him in the process.

"We're not lovers!"

"Well at least you won't have to come to me for permission to date my Nanao-chan!" Shunsui chuckled aloud, ignorant of the malevolent thoughts playing on the mind of the captain beside him triggered by his inside joke.

'I am going to kill him.' Byakuya mused, shifting his attention to the intruder of his estate sitting next to his sister, 'And him.'

"Ugh!" Ryoga surrendered, throwing his hands up in exaggerated annoyance. A question that had been plaguing his mind since setting the young Kuchiki down nagged at him at the perfect timing to shift conversation elsewhere, "Hey, wait. How are you okay now? You were in bad shape back at the Kuchiki's."

The Kuchiki maiden folded her arms, turning away from him in disdain, "I wouldn't have been put in that condition in the first place if you hadn't foolishly allowed your reiatsu to spiral out of control."

"Eh?"

A deep sigh of aggravation brought their attention to the captain of the twelfth division, "I suppose I better shed some light on your confusion."

'Penguin-face?'

"Subconsciously, your reiatsu repressed hers."

"Eh?"

"Yes, yes, mercy me. It's easy to forget not everyone's thought processes are as attuned as my own," Mayuri said, disguising his distaste and subtle jab at Ryoga's intellect as an mock-apology, much to Unohana's discreet ire and Ryoga's clear confusion, "I'll start from the beginning. Usually, when a much larger reiatsu pool, we'll use a Captain's as an example, comes into contact with a smaller pool, say a Lieutenant's, the lesser level will often be consumed by the greater magnitude, leaving the unfortunate weaker individual suffocating. Following me so far?"

"Yeah, I got it. You strangle guys weaker than you with the force," Ryoga summarized before following up when realizing his reference of a film in his world would probably go over the heads of people living in a world several years back on the timeline to his, "Of reiatsu." What was with this guy? He wasn't that dumb.

He didn't have to make it appear like he was going out of his way to dumb down his explanation so he would have no problem following along. Sure he knew he wasn't the brightest bulb in the box when compared to his frenemy, but he wasn't _that_ dull of a blade either.

He could have cut him some slack.

"So, I'm like, stronger than some Shinigami-folk around here?" Ryoga asked doubtfully, peering over to Rukia with the same dumbfounded look of uncertainty, eliciting a gobsmacked expression from annoyance at his unspoken enquiry.

"Yes in terms of reiatsu, you would outrank our Lieutenants," Mayuri clarified.

So basically, any of the captains could have cut him down to size if he got too big for his britches, thus were still scary as hell. Ryoga wasn't one to miss those subtle implications in that clarification, "There's something I still don't get," He announced, getting a roll of the eyes from the mad scientist, "Rukia was in a bad way when she was near me before we got here, but now she's sitting right next to me and seems okay. What gives with that? I don't remember ever trying to stop my reiatsu flow."

"Ah, yes, a valid question but one that can be easily explained," Mayuri confirmed, extending a palm forward right at the central figure in front of the two youngsters, "Our own head master has been suppressing your reiatsu with his own."

"The old man has?" Ryoga asked in surprise, whirling his head to Yamamoto whom had continued his calm observation of him thus far, stern, relaxed posture betraying no signs he had made such actions toward restraining his wild power.

"Yes. Just enough so you wouldn't notice."

"I see." That kind of control was astounding. There wasn't even a twitch of the muscles in the arms or even the cheek to show that the elder was strongly endeavouring to keep a leash on Ryoga's power. He looked as tranquil as he did upon calming down from Ryoga's appearance in his meeting hall.

"He's the only one that can, Ryoga-kun." On its own accord, Ryoga's head snapped to Unohana's gentle admission.

"What do you mean, Miss Unohana?" He asked.

"Do you recall what I told you earlier? That you hold reiatsu levels comparable to two captains?" She asked in return, getting a nod out of him, "That's simply not a feat most of us can flaunt. In fact, the only one of us who could rival you in reiatsu levels, Head Captain not included, is Captain Zaraki."

"Yeahhhhh," Ryoga stiffened at the deep tone of insane euphoria he came to quickly fear in his first moments in the Soul Society, slowly rotating his head to the scarred visage of Kenpachi, sweating profusely, "Which is why we should fight!" He chuckled, "It'll be fuckin' great!"

"Thanks, but I'll pass for now," Ryoga declined, being unintentionally suggestive in his refusal to his offer, which Kenpachi picked up on.

"Yeah… For now." Meaning he would get his fight with this kid. To think someone so like him would land themselves in the Seireitei… It was beyond his wildest dreams. Being the realist he was, he quickly abandoned all hope that he would ever find anyone like _her,_ to engage him in a battle, of blood and gore, to light the fire behind his eyes, forcing him to release all his power and survival instincts just to survive…

It had been all too long since Kenpachi Zaraki _truly_ felt what it was to be alive in his favourite sport; the art of fighting; to feel the anxiety of being pushed back in the corner by his foe, exhilaration of landing a well-earned hit on him and dread that he might not make it to see the sun rise the next day.

He wasn't a believer of prays being answered to the lord they protected from below, but even he would have to thank the Soul King for granting him a worthy opponent in Ryoga. He would not let him go until they fought.

He needed this.

"Yes, and your levels are only superseded by the Head Captain's," Unohana finished, thankfully derailing Kenpachi's endless desire to fight against him to Ryoga.

"I see." He said, turning back to Yamamoto as if seeing the elder in a new light of respect. Control was everything and **_the_ ** king to martial artists, so the fact that this elder had such godlike control of his divine magnitude of reiatsu earned him the god status in Ryoga's book.

"I've heard enough," The elder himself begun, casting an intimidating shadow over the forms of the two younglings in front of him with a single step forward, "It's clear to me that you lack discipline and regulation, brat, which is why I've decided to take it upon myself to drill these lessons into that thick skull of yours with beatings!"

"Beatings!" Ryoga yelped. Now he was hiding behind Rukia. That didn't sound good for his health.

Unbeknownst to him, Shunsui hid a knowing smirk underneath the brim of his straw hat, 'Why, old man Yama, you actually like the kid, huh?' He gazed up at the man who raised him with a sympathetic gaze of fondness. If only his father-figure wasn't so old-fashioned he probably could have admitted he actually saw something unique in Ryoga only he could relate to, but he was.

Shunsui could only hope that maybe the initiation of a parental relationship between the two could loosen the strict elder up.

"Head Captain!" Suddenly, a non-descriptive Shinigami beside Rukia and Ryoga flashed into existence on the girl's side, startling Ryoga at his random appearance. Just a tad bit though. After all it wasn't like he wasn't used to random occurrences in his own world.

He merely blinked in interest, 'Where'd that guy come from?'

"We've just received an urgent status report on the World of the Living, particularly pertaining to the Substitute Shingami Ichigo Kurosaki!"

Rukia let out a startling gasp, "Ichigo!"

"Proceed," Yamamoto allowed.

"One of Aizen's reported Espada initiated contact with Ichigo Kurosaki and easily defeated him!"

The mere act of just mentioning one of Seiteirei's deserted traitors would have been enough to get everyone's attention but reporting the defeat of their Substitute Shinigami at the hands of Aizen's handpicked subordinates had them off their proverbial seats.

"So, it seems Aizen has finally begun to make his move," Komamura was the one to vocalize the main thought going through each of the captains' heads.

"Yes, though I find it odd he would show himself now for such a mundane reason of establishing domination over Ichigo," Ukitake mentioned, cupping his chin. He felt like he would be left scratching his head for the remaining day trying to rationalize Aizen's seemingly nonsensical decision to trigger the Seiteirei's alarms.

"What's going on?" He could feel it. The atmosphere had taken a sharp dramatic shift in tone from the lighthearted feel it exuded in their interactions to a knife-edge, cut-throat air prone of being sliced with a knife by the mention of this Aizen-guy, "Who's Aizen?" Was really so dangerous that he could have everyone on edge just from the mention of his activities?

For his troubles, Shunsui offered him a sympathetic smile.

Poor kid was a spectator at this point.

He was left doing a quick head count of the captains in his abrupt eviction from the conversation, counting only ten of the thirteen of the main title of their established military operation, 'Where are the other guys?' Where they just not here or something?

"Perhaps he was demonstrating the power of his Espada to potential candidates," Toshiro theorized darkly.

"You think that man is in the process of recruiting?" Soi Fon estimated.

"It's a possibility. Why else would he deploy Captain – possibly above – level soldiers to the World of the Living if he wasn't showing off the power of his Espada to other followers in consideration of whether to join forces with him or not?" The white-haired kid captain questioned, breaking down the basics of his theory.

"You have a point." Soi Fon admitted.

"We also mustn't rule out the possibility of him merely wanting to put down Ichigo Kurosaki," Ukitake chimed in, "Despite our great respect and admiration for Ichigo's courage and assistance to us we mustn't forget he is still only a young man. Strong as he may be he isn't a fortress of impenetrable will. His confidence can shatter just as easily as anyone else's."

"Pardon me," The messenger turned to 3rd seat Rukia Kuchiki of the thirteen division sitting by the surprisingly powerful and elusive intruder, "What did the Secret Remote Squad report on Ichigo's condition in the aftermath?"

"He suffered heavy wounds, but was still mobile as he was assisted away from the sight of battle by a red-haired girl."

"Red haired girl?" Oh why, oh why was Ryoga receiving the image of a smug-faced Ranma in girl form? Surely, he wasn't talking about the Ranma he knew from Nerima, was he? No, of course he wasn't indirectly mentioning Ranma. Ryoga didn't even know why he even considered the mention of a random red-haired girl to be his rival in curse form an option.

That would be implying he decided to be she and that she hooked up with a guy, both implications Ryoga decided were definitely "out-there" and crazy to boot.

The macho wannabe Ranma Saotome with a guy?

What was he thinking?

'Must be imagining things,' He rationalized.

Didn't Akane mention something about Ranma chasing after an orange-haired guy? Could that have been this Ichigo Kurosaki they held in high regard?

Whatever…

"I see," Rukia said, though the sigh of relief she gave off let Ryoga know she was relieved Ichigo hadn't been too badly damaged in his mauling at the hands of one of Aizen's soldiers.

"And that's not all that was reported either," The messenger sweated, tightening the muscles in Toshiro, Soi Fon, Ukitake and Komamura anew.

"Explain," Yamamoto ordered.

"Not too long ago, a small town in the area of Tokyo was found in complete ruins. Snippets of an Espada's reiatsu were detected." Hearts stopped.

"Damn it!" Toshiro cursed, "That monster!"

"He's not pulling any punches now," Shunsui commented lightly, relaxed posture betraying the tension in his shoulders.

"Head-Captain!?" Unohana snapped to attention, surprising Ryoga to see the gentle motherly nurse's kind demeanour hardened into an look of fierce anticipation. In that moment he knew This Retsu Unohana was a military soldier. They all were, personal quirks aside, and went it boiled down to it they would and could equip their game faces.

Yamamoto was no slouch in issuing out orders either, "Captain-Hitsugaya!"

"Yes Head-Captain!"

"I'm assigning you as back-up for Ichigo Kurosaki. Take your Lieutenant Matsumoto and three others of your own choosing to accompany you!"

"Understood, Head Captain!" The child prodigy bowed.

"Captain Kurotsuchi! I want the Department and Research to begin working on an identical seal to Captain-Zaraki's to keep this brat's reiatsu in check!" He relayed, gesturing with his head to a dumbfounded Ryoga.

"Oh I'm afraid I'm already several steps ahead of you, Head Captain," Mayuri taunted flippantly.

"Wait, seal!" Ryoga yelped.

"It's necessary, Ryoga-kun, for your own safety as well for those around you," Unohana mentioned, drawing Ryoga's attention back to her, "As you possess an incredible amount of reiatsu, It's unfortunately going to take quite some time before you have an adequate grasp on it to avoid harming those around you. This is where the seal comes in. It'll restrict your reiastu to more manageable levels, helping you to avoid such situations. I'm positive you wouldn't want a repeat of your episode with Rukia-chan with anyone else."

Ryoga rubbed the back of his head, grinning sheepishly at Rukia's glare, "Got that right."

"Baw! If you're getting cold feet that you won't get your power back than don't be!" Kenpachi demanded, finger playing with the brim of his eyepatch, "All you gotta is rip it off, and," He tilted up his eyepatch to allow a flood of outrushing reiatsu to partially flood the room before shutting it up at Yamamoto's stern glance. He got what it wanted anyway, which was Ryoga's surprise stare of recognition, "You get it all back."

Ryoga pouted at the implications of his apparent cowardice, "I'm not a chicken."

Kenpachi grinned savagely, "Then what are you waiting for!?"

"Alright! Fine. Yeesh, so damn pushy," Ryoga muttered in annoyance, disregarding Kenpachi's widening grin of insanity to look back at Mayuri, "Could you make me a seal, sir?"

"Of course," That kind of respect wasn't needed in this case but it was appreciated all the same. It was always relieving in a sense when the simpletons realized his genius, "I'll need an object of material to base the seal on."

"Come again?"

"Something similar to Captain Simpleton's eyepatch."

"Hey."

"Oh, in that case," Ryoga realized, untying his trademark bandanna from around his forehead before standing up to move over to the Twelfth division captain, "You can use this?" He held the piece of fabric out to him, "Will that do?"

Mayuri took it from his palm and appeared to consider it with a few needless weight tests before shoving it into his robes, giving him a nod of his head.

"Now, if there'll be no further questions," Yamamoto waited for a response and when he received none he finished, ending the meeting with one audible thud of his staff on the flooring, "Meeting adjourned!"

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

XxX

(Nerima – Cat Café – With Mousse)

XxX

Mousse sat in saddened solitude in the restaurant owned by one of his tribe's matriarchs, head slacked despairingly against the circular surface of one of the myriad of tables littered throughout the main hub of the café. He had been left in charge while Cologne headed to Karakura Town to prepare Shampoo's chosen _sweetheart_ for his inevitable integration into their tribe.

The elder had been unsurprisingly and coldly open in regards to her visit to Karakura Town, not that it bared any consequence on Mousse's mental state had she kept her intentions concealed to herself. If not for the fact his mind would have been on the wonder ascertaining her reasons regardless, tearing his heart asunder with the likeliest reason.

He just wasn't sure which of the two between knowledge or ignorance was the lesser of two evils.

"Oh Shampoo," The remnants of his heart burned with the knowledge that he could no longer pursuit her hand, no longer fight tooth-and-nail to keep her secure from inhuman sick freaks like Sado and Saotome, "Why couldn't you have chosen me?" Not a shred of a tear clouded his already impaired vision.

His soul drained with the removal of its one true source keeping it empowered; his aspiration to win Shampoo's hand. Forbidden from endeavouring to gain his love he had nothing left to aspire for, nothing to maintain the fiery glow of resolve in his hindered vision. Nobody to lean on for support in his time of despair or even palm of encouragement letting him realize all was not lost.

He felt truly empty and alone. His only companion being the not-so pleasant reminiscence of his adolescence; a time of simplicity and rejection. Oh, the rejection. He could still visualize the day he first met Shampoo, as fresh as a memory appeared from a day old. The very instance he laid eyes on her, his young mind truly understood the definition of love at first sight. And although her demeaning rejections had once been disheartening until that eventful day, he never did stop pegging away, futile as it was.

" _Stupid Mousse!_ " A young Shampoo scolded him, " _When you learn Shampoo no like you!"_

" _But Shampoo,_ " Kid Mousse whined.

" _No!"_ She screamed, pushing him down to the ground below, " _You leave Shampoo alone_!"

Something snapped in him that evening all those years ago; a momentous shift that would forever leave that day in the history books.

" _No!_ " Young Mousse denied stubbornly, surprising his first and only love with his upsurge of pushy resolve as he quickly stood face to face with her, " _I won't! I'm gonna keep trying 'til you fall in love with me, Shampoo!_ "

" _Mousse_ …" Had he been older at the time or possessed a better guidance in his adolescence he might have realized Shampoo's disengagement was born from worry at his forceful assertion, not admiration, but alas he did not.

Thus young Mousse drove deep within the dark abyss of unhealthy obsession, " _You hear me, Shampoo! I'm gonna make you love me! That's a pinkie promise of a lifetime!"_

He was still met with Shampoo's high kick of contempt flipping him to the ground, but ever since then his determination to win Shampoo over had remained unbroken; steeled.

That was, until the death of Happosai, serving a constant reminder of the consequence his pursuit could befall him, broke said resolve like so much glass comprising of the finest china, leaving him a ruined young man.

Suddenly, returning to the country of his birth was looking incredibly tempting now.

It was clear Cologne didn't want him around now that his use of a pseudo romantic rival for Ranma for Shampoo's hand was no longer required. She treated him with even more disdain now that he was essentially worthless.

It hurt and greatly angered him that he was basically a tool for her to manipulate Ranma into falsely loving Shampoo, as though his pining for her would spur the hidden endearment inside the braided haired martial artist.

"Damn it!" The fist of the short-sighted martial artist came crashing down with venomous force on the surface of his table.

He was used, and it sickened him.

Just as he was in the midst of his angered lamentation he heard a swoosh sound coming from the right; like a pair of curtains being pulled open fast. And the orange luminescence of the setting sun was blocked from his line of sight.

Curiously, he whirled his head to the obstruction, his eyes widening at the block of pitch black impeding his view of the outside, "What the hell?" Was he going blind? Afraid at the possibility of his eyes suddenly worsening, Mousse stood, tilting the thick coca-cola lenses hanging on his forehead over his eyes.

To his relief, he could see past the impediment perfectly fine and it remained precisely where it was, even leaving his line of sight as he glimpsed behind him to ascertain that its appearance wasn't due to his worsening vision.

Good, but that still left the question of what in the world was this tunnel of shadowy gloom and who could have possibly summoned it and why?

"Oh Mousse.~" No sooner had he asked himself this question did he receive his answer in the form of the distinct sickly sweet tone of _her_ , the money-grubbing puppet-mistress who often ran the show in the days of the fiancée strife. Despite her clear lack of skill or power, she _always_ managed to maintain this _terrifying_ presence about her, as though she could psychically crush anyone of the super powered rascals with her mind alone.

Seeing her stood in the centre of the shadowy subterranean passage-like hole flanked by two individuals that could have potentially been of her own creation for all Mousse knew on some voodoo nonsense heightened that sinister aura of hers.

"N-Nabiki!" He found himself stuttering involuntarily, "What are you doing here?"

Nabiki smirked, ravishing in her over confidence Mousse's instinctual fear of her evoked in her. There was something to be enjoyed about watching those before you cringe and balk from the mere sight of you, having your very presence trigger dread within them.

It was simply empowering.

"Oh, come now," She chided, playing ignorant as she sauntered out of the Garganta and toward her latest target; every step of hers tightening the muscles in his shoulders, "Is that anyway to greet an old acquaintance of yours? And after she came all this way to see you too."

Scepticism was noted in the gleam of his lenses, "To see me?"

"Yes!" She brightened, laying a seemingly comforting palm on his shoulder, taking delight in the flinch she could feel against her palm, "How are you feeling? I heard of your failed exploits and prohibition in Karakura Town."

Mousse balked, "How do you know that?"

Nabiki smiled, masquerading her coldness with a pretence of warmth, "I have my resources," She quipped softly, "How are you feeling? I know it can't be easy, being _told_ you can't see your beloved Shampoo ever again."

She felt Mousse shivering in her grasp, "It's just not fair."

He found the complete embrace of Nabiki on both of his shoulders oddly soothing, "I know. That's why I'm here to restore order, to tilt the balance back in place."

His thick lenses couldn't hide the confusion painted on his visage from Nabiki's flowery quip, "Eh?"

"I'm giving you a second chance to rightfully claim your Shampoo," Nabiki summarized.

Mousse's shoulders jolted in surprise, "No way! Seriously?"

"Of course!~" Nabiki sang, "Kuno can vouch if you doubt my word."

Almost on reflex he found his head turning to the stoic mock-samurai still within the blackened getaway to freedom, "Indeed, she speaks the truth. That she is in fact taking us to be imbued with tremendous power to renew our honourable individual battles for our fair maidens."

A pinch was all it would have taken to nudge Mousse out of his dreamy state of disbelief, "Wow, I dunno what to say."

"Yep, but this exclusive offer is a once in a lifetime deal," Nabiki declared, pivoting on her heels, "So if you turn it down now, you'll _never_ get another opportunity to close the gap between those who stand in the way of true love and will remain alone for all eternity," She gobbled up the look of intense desperation on his face before extending a palm forward, "So, what'll it be?"

"I wanna! I wanna!" He frantically snatched her hand.

"Excellent." Nabiki grinned, leading him to the others like an adult taking their child to school.

"But what about…?" Mousse began with a gulp. Awesome power sounded like a godsend and all, but he still had doubts whether it would be enough to close the gap on the man who restricted his pursuit of Shampoo's hand in the first place; the man who effortlessly sent Nerima's strongest annoyance straight to the depths of hell with a simple _flick_ of his sword. That wasn't the sort of a thing one could erase from their memories so easily now, "Kisuke…"

"Oh I can assure you, once we're done with you the big bad man won't be able to boss you around anymore."

That was all the assurance he needed.

With renewed purpose, Mousse straightened confidently, following Nabiki into the darkness like a man reborn.

'Shampoo, wait for me!'

Nabiki found it quite amusing and ego-stroking that she was so _casually_ outdoing this Kisuke-goody-two-shoes's attempted disillusion of her _tools_. She would have to make a note to rub the fact she _was_ the chief motivator in his face if she ever got the opportunity to make her acquaintance to him.

'Sorry, fool, but these are _my_ pawns, and the worlds, and everything in them belong to Aizen-baby and I.'

* * *

The Intention of the King and Queen 

* * *

XxX

(Elsewhere in Nerima – With Ukyo)

XxX

A calm, peaceful euphoria had blanketed Ukyo's form for the remaining day, leaving her as bright as the sun itself. Noticeable enough that Akane's friends had even took note to the duo's almost transparent expressions of sunny delight.

She already felt weightless from their civil confrontation with Ranma's boyfriend at the train station but being able to have that talk – to get confirmation of her happiness and that there was no bad blood between the two – left her light as rain. It was such a refreshing conversation. One of a kind even.

After the misinterpretations were cleared up they made up playful theories mockingly ascertaining Nabiki's disappearance, one of those being the young woman taking over and/or starting up her own criminal empire. Given her calculating nature and overall baleful presence none of them would've been surprised had this mock theory turned out to hold more weight than they initially gave it credit for.

Even Nabiki's own sister found herself agreeing with the girls on that one.

It said a lot about a person when their own relative didn't have their back.

Akane grew worried when the redhead prematurely brought their amicable conversation to an end upon mentioning the influx of her boyfriend's power, but Ukyo made her own faith in Ichigo's strength known.

It briefly shocked the youngest Tendo maiden that the chef elite had such reverence in Ichigo, but honestly there was also something _positive_ to be said about a guy who took on five inhuman martial artists on a building and lived to tell the tale as the building itself didn't.

"Ah, there we go," She breathed out placidly, sweeping up the last residue of garbage and leaves on her restaurant's front porch before tilting it in the trash bin beside her welcome sign. She giggled good-naturedly to herself, setting her hands on her hips, "Maybe I ought to close up shop early for once."

She gazed up at the pleasant beauty of the sun deep off in the horizon; its radiance accentuating her peaceful expression.

That was until an unbidden eclipse materialized before her, partly obscuring her view of the brilliant radiance.

"What. The. Hell. Is. That?" Ukyo pronounced slowly, intensely scrutinizing the void of seemingly nothingness, "Okay, I'll bite. Is this Mr Urahara's doing?" She figured she was clasping at her straws with her really out-there guess, but the only person she knew who could conjure up doors from thin air was the candy store gentleman.

"Good evening, Miss Kuonji."

The actual person behind the proverbial silhouetted curtain was like a splash of cold water in her face.

"Nabiki Tendo…" She exhaled visibly, her blood turning her cold at the sight of the aforementioned ruthless negotiator and missing Tendo sister, and her eyes narrowing at the two flanking her sides.

"Oh, loosen up," Nabiki recommended as if this response was new, "When have I ever failed to provide you with the best and most accurate information? Was the information I provided you the other day ago not reliable?"

"Yeah, the kind of information that had us dancing to your beats, I remember," Ukyo remarked acerbically, crossing her arms to Nabiki's faux innocent grin of hidden delight, "What the hell are you even doing here?" She raised an eyebrow of annoyed perplexity her way, giving her gesture of the arms of subtle probing, "For that matter, where the fuck have ya been? Got told by Akane you've been M.I.A ever since Ichigo swung by to pick up Ranchan's stuff."

"So vulgar," Nabiki commented wryly on Ukyo's witty speech, eliciting a roll of the eyes from her. She inspected her target's stern, relaxed posture of barely restrained tolerance with a keen eye before quipping to her, "I see you're a busy woman so I'll cut to the chase."

She coughed into her hand before ironically doing the opposite of her supposed intended claim, "It's that time of the year again! The time of giving and togetherness, and all that jazz." She announced grandly, flexing her arms outward to accentuate the importance of the speech.

"Yeah, Christmas is coming up," Ukyo summarized in a deadpan tone, "What of it?"

"Exactly!" Nabiki applauded sardonically, waning Ukyo's nerves, "That's why I thought, in this time of generosity, why not give a little back to our wholesome community."

The countenance of the chef elite could have been fossilized in incredulity for as far as profound went, " _You're_ gonna give me a gift?" Nabiki Tendo was going to present her with something out of her own pocket? The same Nabiki Tendo who pinched any penny to herself, and only ever assisted in someone else's troubles if it benefitted and/or affected her in someway? If the insisting nod of euphoria from the aforementioned claimant for any indication that she clearly _wasn't_ Nabiki Tendo.

"Yeah, bullshit." Ukyo remarked bluntly, "It'll be a cold day in hell before the Nabiki I know gives anyone who isn't already herself anything from the kindness of her heart, sugar."

"Then it must be below zero degrees Celsius down below by now," Nabiki retorted back.

"Now I know you're full of crap."

"Apparently, you don't know enough," Nabiki countered, shifting the attention from her to her two already captured pawns with a smooth jerk of her thumb, "Otherwise you'd realize both Kuno and Mousse have already accepted their offers for early Christmas presents from yours truly."

"What the hell do you stupid jackasses think you're doing!?" Ukyo was quick to demand of the two, evoking a flinch out of Mousse and a dispassionate stare from Kuno.

"Hey, lay off!" Mousse defended, "I'm doing whatever it takes to save Shampoo from that inhuman bastard Yasutora, alright!?"

Ukyo cringed, taken aback at the deep depths of Mousse's illusion, "Have ya forgotten what Mr Urahara showed us?!"

"Showed us the death of another human being you mean?" Mousse retorted, sarcasm oozing from his tone before he scoffed, "How could I forget?"

"Never heard of a thing called 'Scared Straight'? 'Cause that was the whole point behind Mr Urahara's demonstration!"

"Humph. Calling a murder a simple demonstration? Damn Ukyo, I see that monster has your mind just as warped as Yasutora has Shampoo's."

"Gah!"

"I'm afraid I'm inclined to believe my comrade in this quest of equal significance of ours," Kuno chimed in, drawing a murderous glare of annoyance from Ukyo at his show of eloquence, "That thee would equate extermination to the simple act of demonstrating… ridiculous. What's wrong with thee woman? Art thee mad?"

"Ha! As if you're one to talk." No way in hell would she get called _crazy_ by **the** _craziest_ person in their school.

That was beyond insulting and demeaning.

"Besides, are ya forgetting _who_ Mr Urahara killed?" Ukyo argued, getting them to share brief looks of puzzlement at each other before gazing back to her, "It was the old man! The biggest perverted jackass in all of Nerima!"

"So you think just 'cause he was a jerk that he deserved to die?" Mousse grimaced, "Despicable."

"Don't gimme that crap, jackass!" Ukyo retaliated, "He may not have bothered you two all that much 'cause you're guys, but for us girls he was a pain-in-the-neck, a terror in the night, groping us whenever he could so much as smell us nearby!" She wrapped her arms around her sacred assets to accentuate her discomfort of an unbidden volunteer touching her there, "That includes Shampoo and the pigtailed girl!" She knew she had them by playing those cards.

Conflict was written all over their faces.

Nabiki stepped in at just the right time to stop Ukyo from disillusioning her pawns further, "Now, ma'am," She began to chide with a wagging finger, redirecting Ukyo's furious ire upon herself, "Don't take your anger out on them just because they have the good sense of moral and backbone you don't to fight against the oppression. That kind of behaviour is very unbecoming of a lady, y'know? Do try to have a semblance of class, would you?"

That did it.

Her temper was already flaring from her argument with Nabiki's regressed pawns. Nabiki's twisted lies and taunts villainizing her in their eyes broke the thermometer and sent her flying over the edge and into the abyss of sheer rage.

She did something no one within the months and years others have known Nabiki dared to do to her, had the absolute _balls_ to inflict upon her. She launched a full on, legit attack on Nabiki Tendo.

Not verbal tongue-lashing. Raw, physical movements, racing forward to greet Nabiki with the underside of her spatula.

"I'll waste you!"

She might have been thrown into a state of intense shock and unbidden fear at her target's defiance potent enough to rush forward at speeds she couldn't track, prepared to deliver a crushing blow she wouldn't be able to endure, and in another universe Ukyo would've succeeded in potentially doing as she claimed; annihilating Nabiki Tendo.

All in another universe.

One without her failsafe; Ulquiorra.

It all transpired in an literal blink of an eye. An audible boom of malfunctioning stereo speakers echoed voluminously and the crops of hair of Nabiki and her captured pawns swayed heavily in the wind.

Then more than half of Ukyo's trusty, giant spatula lied by her feet.

"How…?" She didn't see anything. Only heard the noisy clatter from the blade of her trademark weapon for both battle and cooking rattling off of the ground below her unmoving feet before staring directly into those teal leaf green eyes, devoid of any emotion, and the tip of his sword in his grasp.

"All those who intend to inflict bodily harm upon Lord Aizen's woman will be eliminated," He relayed systematically, sheathing his sword.

'Lord Aizen's woman…?' A thin droplet of uneasy sweat trailed down her cheek at the respectful manner of which this cybernetic-like creature had addressed Nabiki to his higher up, "Who's Aizen?" She snapped her narrowed gaze warily from Ulquiorra to Nabiki.

Nabiki smirked at the ease of which her escort had _escorted_ Ukyo back in place, curling her arms around herself when she thought about what Aizen was to her, "You could call him my kindled spirit."

"Kindled spirit."

"Yes!" She stretched and moaned erotically, "I've never met a man like him!"

Ukyo cringed, "Is that so?"

"Oh yes, so cunning, manipulative," She flashed Ukyo the most unsettling voluptuous smile of unhidden malevolence the chef elite hoped would never get another misfortune of gazing upon. It was enough to make her shiver, "Ambitious." She finished in a murmur, "It's picturesque, in a way."

"No really, how so?"

"I thought I was the only one who harboured such ambition, of being filthy stinking rich, rich enough to hire a myriad of servants and maids to tend to my ever beck and call, to have the throne at the pinnacle of an empire and to lord over the city," Nabiki practically preached, every word unnerving Ukyo further, "Until Aizen-baby walked into my life, with ambitions similar to my own… Only on a much greater scale."

"Oh yeah?" Ukyo questioned, drawing a cheery nod from Nabiki, "So what does this Aizen-guy want?"

"The worlds, Ukyo," The chef elite widened her eyes, not missing the distinct way the decidedly crazy woman had referred to her king's ultimate desire in the plural, implying there was more of the same homelands they lived in, "And everything in them."

"So he's just some wannabe stereotypical comic book villain is he?" Ukyo spat out in disdain.

Nabiki chuckled lightly to herself at the irony, "You could call him that," Her smug look intensified, "After he and I gain control of it all."

"Yeah, fat chance of that happening!" Ukyo bit back, "I bet this Aizen fella of yours would struggle to put down Ranchan and Ichigo much less Mr Urah-." Her remaining sentence died in her throat with the thrust of Ulquiorra's paled white index finger pointed directly to her countenance, "What are you…?"

"If you doubt Lord Aizen's power," Before her startled face, a miniature eclipse shrouded in a dimly lit green glow materialized on the tip of Ulquiorra's finger, gaining multiple sides as it began to rotate, taking on the appearance of a star.

"What is that thing?" Ukyo murmured.

She wasn't the only one captivated by the darkened star of doom Ulquiorra was generating on his mere finger. Behind him, Mousse and Kuno were just as intensely engrossed in the display as she was.

"Then I will demonstrate to you a fraction of the power that wouldn't even be comparable to the bulk in Lord Aizen's smallest finger," He finished just as impassively, like he wasn't holding a miniature explosive ball of doom and was merely showing her the ease to ride a bike on one wheel.

The orb then expanded, growing in the direction of Ukyo's terrified face. Right then, she realized the ancient superstition of seeing your life flash before your eyes just before you die was true.

She saw herself back when she was a young girl, meeting little Ranma for the first time, getting promised to be his bride by him, seeing Ranma's father run off with him and her father's okonomiyaki cart, reuniting with Ranma eleven years later in Furinkan High School, up to her reunion with Ranma over Ichigo's phone.

She saw it all.

The star of doom left Ulquiorra's limb in a blur and a deep gash on Ukyo's cheek was carved. Then the sound of a deafening explosion echoed in the far distance behind her, blocking her back from the setting residue of light of the nearly fully set sun.

"Cero." He echoed dispassionately.

She risked stealing a glance over her shoulder, her eyes dilating in horror at her unrequested field of vision of the gigantic sky high glowing skyscraper towering above them all miles in the distance, obliterating everything within its radius from the terrifying tremors it caused, the raging winds it produced, and the scattering clouds of the sky it roofed.

It scared Ukyo further that It didn't escape her notice that a cannon blast of sorts fired off in a city as big as Tokyo wouldn't fail to miss any town in its radius of total devastation unless it was aimed for the mountains, but considering she could feel the void of nothing emanating from the blast she doubted – horrifyingly – that it was shot that far out of the walls of Tokyo.

Which meant…

"…You killed people." She breathed out, looking back to Ulquiorra to gauge his reaction, though the simple act of him tucking his hands dispassionately back into his pockets was enough for Ukyo to know trying her luck against Nabiki would only result in death.

If only her other two unofficial classmates in Kisuke's lesson to them shared her common sense they might have been able to rationalize a blast that huge in a city as big as Tokyo would've resulted in the likely deaths of thousands.

"Wow… What power."

"Good gads, man. It's… unreal."

Alas they did not. Instead they only saw it as a demonstration of the kind of power they could expect to gain and their confidence to win over their desired ones were strengthened as a result.

"Idiots," Ukyo grumbled bitterly, "Stupid jackasses."

"Well now, it looks like this one's a decline," Nabiki said, stating the obvious to Ukyo's annoyance, "Come along, boys. This one won't be joining us to a better world."

"Better world," Ukyo repeated underneath her breath, "Are you kidding me?!"

"I wouldn't foresee you comprehending, Lord Aizen," Ulquiorra chimed in, silencing Ukyo with his mere words alone, "You are only human after all."

'Only Human.' She didn't need that to know he wasn't human. His eerily ghost-white skin and horned mask attached to the side of his head were dead giveaways that he wasn't human. No, that wasn't the thing that rubbed her the wrong way. It was his disdain of her race that did.

She watched Kuno and Mousse march into the void with total disregard for anything Mr Urahara had drilled into them with resentment; resentment that just as easily dwindled away in the departure of Nabiki and her main escort.

"How could you?" Ukyo willed herself to speak out against not just Nabiki's underhanded recruitment of the two, but her manipulation of her pawns as a whole, "These are people's lives you're toying with here!"

"Don't you think I know that?" Nabiki retorted with a smirk before taunting condescendingly, "My dear Ukyo-chan, that's what makes the game of manipulation so fun!" Her smirk widened at the grimacing look Ukyo gave her to her sickening explanation before turning around to head into the Garganta, "I do recommend revaluating your choice. Otherwise you'll have nowhere to turn to come winter, when the worlds fall in the hands of Aizen-baby and I. Well, other than the wonderful cycle of reincarnation. Your choice really. Toodle-oo."

Then they vanished in the void just like Mousse and Kuno before them before the getaway shut like a door, leaving no trace of its previous existence as the unknown force that kept Ukyo to her feet all this time left her as well, leaving her free to fall to her knees.

"This is bad," She exhaled, gazing up to the now midnight sky, "Better tell Ranchan and Ichigo about this."

Otherwise the world as she knew it just may well be usurped by Nabiki and her partner.

Ulquiorra's power was a clear slap in the face that they were no joke.

Shit was all too real.

* * *

(Omake)

A Name to be Feared

Aizen was incredibly impressed with his queen's work in her recruitment of the soon to be formerly mortals Tatewaki Kuno and Mousse – aka Musu. Every word she delivered to them were spoken with the intent to get inside their heads, praying on their vulnerabilities like any good manipulator would do, all the while maintaining a suffocating aura of power about her.

It was a masterclass to watch in his humble opinion.

Although the complete results of her talent scouting wasn't all sunshine and rainbows with the failed attempt to enlist the okonomiyaki chef's services, there was nothing she could have done to manipulate her further. A manipulator relied heavily on mental scars and cracks of vulnerability in their target's mental barriers to slip into their heads to initiate the process, something the strong-willed Ukyo Kuonji lacked.

Unlike the boys, Mousse and Kuno, she made peace with her demons, thereby purging herself of her own obsession; the very weakness which would have allowed Nabiki entry in her mind, to plant seeds of doubt and desire.

It was shame as manipulators they were limited to the vulnerabilities of others.

"You handled their enlistments quite beautifully, m'dear," Aizen complimented, sauntering beside her in the hallway of their palace toward a particular room now that their recruited soldiers were deposited in an waiting room of sorts to wait their fates, each face of theirs shining with resolve.

"You flatter me," Nabiki said coyly, eyeing a set of peculiar double doors they made stop at with interest, "I was only pulling my weight in our endeavour to take over the worlds, y'know."

It was bugged her quite a bit that she wasn't able to get Ukyo under her thumb. Being something of a perfectionist at heart if Nabiki set out to accomplish something she raised the bar to fulfil her task with one hundred percent success, thus her failed attempt to sway Ukyo over to their side left a bad taste in her mouth.

Although it was quite ironic when she thought about the last remaining few of her puppets in Nerima that she had no chance of bringing over to the dark side.

Kodachi

Shampoo.

Akane.

Ukyo.

All four of Ranma's suitors.

How quaint that it would be them who would be secure from her lure.

Each of them got over Ranma in their own ways. Well, two routes two of them technically paired up and followed together. Shampoo and Kodachi found other loves to take interests in and her sister and the okonomiyaki chef elite just straight up got over themselves, came to terms with themselves that Ranma didn't care for them in the romantic manner in which they wanted her to, and now held a healthy, friendly relationship with her.

Reluctantly, Nabiki admitted the two girls were actually quite admirable even if it did peeve her so that she could no longer control them.

"Indeed, which is why I look to make certain you'll be able to continue to do so without fail," Aizen declared, dimly lighting up the dark room the double doors had revealed with their opening with a sinister smirk, helped by the only glow in the darkness, a crystalized bluish-purple luminescence being emitted by a sphere encased in crystal situated on a stand.

"Oh?" An eyebrow went up in interest. "Why is that? You've peeked my interest."

"Earlier, in your confrontation with Ukyo Kuonji, it occurred to me your own natural state of vulnerability should take precedence in sheltering," Aizen explained, leading Nabiki to the only light source, "Though considering the preoccupation my men will be in dealing with Seiteirei's finest you can imagine protection of you will be stretched, a flaw I cannot allow to remain unpatched. To ensure your security remains as top priority, I've decided to imbue you with your own unique powers."

"Oh?" Nabiki turned a teasing smirk Aizen's way at his intent to maintain her satety, "Do I really mean that much to you, Aizen~baby?~"

"Just that indeed, m'dear, and I will not permit harm to befall your head," Aizen stated with some uncharacteristic intensity of resolve glowing on his normally terrifyingly placid countenance.

"How sweet," Nabiki said coolly, though the tender cup of her king's cheek let him know she appreciated his intentions, "So, what is this thing?"

"This," With punched in coordinates on the holographic keyboard beside the see-through sphere it split open into two sides, releasing the crystalized sphere, its bluish-purple and white glow reflecting the unbidden wonderment in Nabiki's eyes, "This is the godlike device known as the Hogyoku created by none other than Kisuke Urahara, the very man who attempted to free your pawns. "

"Still got to one though," Nabiki reminded herself bitterly, her frustration just as easily melting away from the tender touch of her man's palm on her cheek, "Oh well!~ I guess two out of three still beats one out of three, or even zero."

"Precisely. Instead of dwelling on the cons we should focus on the pros that supersede the negatives," Aizen explained.

"I suppose," She smirked dryly, "So, how did ya nab this thing from that fool?"

For the first time since she had become enamoured with him Aizen's chillingly cold smile of malevolent calm fell, "Kisuke was just that; a fool. He single-handedly contrived the most effective device the Seiteirei had ever bored eyes on, but instead of utilizing this magnificent tool to overthrow that _thing_ that called itself a ruler he sequestered it inside the artificial body of a Shinigami whose current patrol in the World of the Living had taken a turn for the 'worst'."

"Oh…?" Was Aizen showing her one of his rare moments of anger? How uncharacteristic of him. In the short time she had known him he had never once even indicated of being on the verge of losing a grasp on his impeccable composure. This loss of cool only serve to reinforce Aizen's passionate in his desire for total world dominance.

It took a brave man to lose his calm in the presence of a lady, and she respected and admired him all the more for it; that he had the balls and _faith_ in her to share his own weakness and passionate with her, and she shown her appreciation of that faith by taking her turn to comfort him.

Warm, soft palms went over his cheeks, snapping him out of his trace. He found his gaze captured by Nabiki's warm smirk and eyes holding acceptance. In that moment of silence appreciation and admiration the two manipulators knew they truly were sickeningly right for each other.

"We have the Hogyoku now, don't we?" Nabiki reminded before playfully mocking Aizen, "Shouldn't we be looking at the brighter side of things."

Aizen smiled at her tongue-in-cheek sense of humour, "Indeed, I was able to extract it from Rukia's gigal during her failed execution I orchestrated," He allowed a moment of silence to pass for them to marvel at the sheer magnificence of the hogyoku in all its glory, "It truly is a magnificent device, capable of breaking the boundaries of shinigami and hollow, assisting most of my Espada to the humanoid forms you see them in now, and manifesting some truly unique powers in spiritual combatants," He extended the brightly lit orb of divinity encased in crystal toward his queen, "With this, you will acquire perhaps the most influential power of all."

Nabiki smirked at Aizen's confidence at her untapped potential, "How can ya be so sure I'll be as powerful as you say? Unlike my fools, I've never even done a lap around the park let alone trained a day in my life."

"Because of your personality, dear," A gentle hand caressed her cheek, "It is as powerful as it is beautiful, and the capabilities of a zanpakuto or spiritual combatant are often dictated on the strength of the user's personality."

Nabiki relaxed against his touch, "Then let's give it a shot."

Aizen nodded and situated the crystalized orb against her forehead, allowing the Hogyoku to take affect on her. A sensation flooded her subconscious as the white shine within the orb expanded outward, beginning to consume the sphere. She calmly closed eyes, permitting entry to the odd feeling of enlightenment.

There was no strain or comfort in the process. It was just a passive feeling that left Nabiki no worse for wear, but when it was all over she felt empowered with knowledge; the know-how to pick apart anyone she had gathered Intel on from the inside out.

Her sisters.

Her father.

Shampoo.

Kodachi.

Ukyo, oh especially Ukyo.

Just having this power pushed her ego to the forefront of her personality, galling her to no end that she allowed _her enemies_ that, by all rights, should be underneath her to attack her in such a manner. She was nearly willing to overlook such a transgression of her pride when she was powerless, but now that she had the means to dish out some needed retribution she would use the opportunity to reinvent herself.

To strike fear in the hearts of her enemies.

Ukyo Kuonji and Ranma Saotome were at the top of her shit list just by the principle of the matter, with Ranma's boy toy being just below them by association.

Her already baleful smirk turned outright devilish as her eyes lit up in a literal crimson red hue.

They would relearn the name that was Nabiki Ten-. No, Nabiki Aizen and why it was a name to be feared across the worlds!

"How are you feeling?" Aizen asked rhetorically, feeling positively proud of himself at his queen's ungodly expression of devilish euphoria, but telepathically receiving his answer anyway when Nabiki's crimson-hued pupils glowed briefly before dimming back down, "Oh?" He smirked, his body temperature rising exponentially, "Frisky."

"Yep!" She curled her arms around the back of his neck, "Just think of all the infinite possibilities that I can use this glorious power of mine to torment those foolish enemies of ours, how many doors it opens up now."

"I'm imagining a plethora of possibilities right now, each one advantageous," Aizen confirmed, entwining his arms around her slender waist and pulling her against him. The nature of her powers were truly something to behold.

You had to get an image ingrained in your very mind from her to get a good grasp of it. While she would still go down relatively easy even if hit once as long as she dictated the flow of any confrontation she wound up in and used her powers appropriately, she would be an incredible pesky thorn in the Gotei Thirteen's side. _Godlike_ even.

Every second spent going through the possibilities to wreak havoc darkened Nabiki's devilish smirk, "I could turn Saotome's and her boy toy's little posse against them."

"And the Gotei Thirteen's main forces."

Nabiki chuckled, "Them too." She then dived in, capturing Aizen's lips against her own.

They had a lot to plan for and they would start in bed.

Love had never been so evil.

* * *

 **And that's the chapter, I hope you guys enjoyed. This one turned out to be quite Nabiki-centric to say the least. Haha. Man, I was wrong about this girl. She's a hell a lot of fun to write for. I'll fully admit I used to think she was terrible, until this... unique pairing of her and Aizen made me revaluate her and realize she really isn't much different from the likes of her king in this story, Shinobu Sensui from YuYu Hakusho and Orochimaru from Naruto in the sense she controls things with her malevolent charisma rather than force, which is so much interesting.**

 **Now that she is powered up with an ability that'll compliment her cunning personality, her power's gonna increase a hell out of lot as I hinted in the omake. Anything infiltrating the mind directly is always fatal, which is why mental abuse is so much more dangerous than physical. The boys down in America even made a clever joke about this where Marge and Lisa got into such a psychological argument leaving Homer and Bart comforting their girls by pretending to listen to their grievances. That was hilarious**

 **Anyway, it was when the two were discussing the girls' fight is where the joke popped up.**

 **Bart: "Dad, after seeing Mom and Lis go at it I'm glad our relationship is based on physical abuse not psychological."**

 **Homer smiled: "Me too, boy." Then they hugged in a nice family moment.**

 **Due to the nature of Nabiki's power she's gonna be incredibly annoying for the heroes to fight against. It's gonna make the "kidnapping" of a certain godlike healer a lot less forceful... to say the least**


	11. Soul Society's Greatest Threat

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2 or Bleach**

* * *

Life was good for Shampoo. She could actually hug her sweetheart without some noisy girl mowing him down out of jealousy. Best of all he even appreciated her attention meaning she didn't have to try hard to feel like she mattered to him. He didn't even mind her staying at his place. In fact he looked he was _insisting_ she make herself right at home at his cosy little apartment. _Her_ airen was a man of few words by nature, but if one paid enough attention to him they could make out the slightest changes in his demeanour to indicate his expression. When he was desperate his hand would shake discreetly. That was how Shampoo was able to ascertain his insistence in her staying at his apartment.

She could understand why too. Chad was a lonely guy. He didn't have many relatives still on living soil. Both of his parents passed away before he was even old enough to remember their faces, leading him to be very disruptive in his earlier adolescence under the care of his grandfather. It was quite the shocker to learn that. Her airen - who was as a tall as a giant but as gentle as a kitten - was once a ruffian. No matter how many times she tried Shampoo just couldn't picture the gentle giant she was enamoured with as a disruptive thug, but suffice to say he once was.

Chad couldn't fault her incredulity either. The him of now and the him of then were like two different people from two different worlds. Sometimes he found himself pondering; if it weren't for his abuelo's (grandfather) courageous stand against two vindictive adults wanting to "put him in his place" for beating up their kids and gentle insistence to better himself, just what would he be like today? He definitely wouldn't be friends with Ichigo, he was sure that alteration would come to pass. He probably would end up usurping one of those would-be crew of thugs; the same delinquents who constantly started shit with him before his partnership with Ichigo made them think otherwise.

It was inspiring to learn the backstory of her chosen one. Like their relationship was authentic and not just arranged by the harsh rules of her tribe. Shampoo was no slouch herself in tightening the loose connection breached between her and Sado. She told him about her tribe's customs and traditions, how she came to meet Ranma and transitioning from feeling vengeful toward her girl side and once enamoured with her guy side. She even showed him her curse form which he surprisingly took to, displaying a soft spot for cute things.

By the end of it Chad was left with the conclusion that the life of an Amazonian was a cruel mistress. Almost unbelievably so. Losing just one duel to any female outsider left them honour bound to inflict the kiss of death upon their victorious opponent followed by killing them to restore their lost honour. Failure to do so could result in being ostracized from the tribe and even sold to their opponent as a mistress. Failure to return to the tribe with the male outsider whom had defeated them in battle resulted in a far severe punishment.

The admission hit his conscious like a freght train. It _almost_ didn't feel right being with her if she was just being forced to on the account of not being with Ranma or succeeding in murdering her. Was he really just a loophole for her to emerge victorious in despite of her numerous failures? Her warm embraces and soft gazes of affection always answered for her in the negative. The firm grip of her hand on his after finishing her story really reassured Sado of her content to be with him, allowing her to lead him to his room.

Even if his conscious stabbed at him he wasn't going to be some noble sap and turn down possibly the only girl he was ever going to get; not when she was doing everything within her power to make sure he didn't feel bad.

After all he was still a teenager, no matter how adult-like he looked...

A sudden thud reverberating from the front door stirred the twosome from their peaceful slumber.

"Who that now?" Shampoo mumbled, prying open blurry eyes. She curled a slender arm over the muscular one of her beloved around her curvy form, "Can't they see people try to sleep?"

A thud soon escalated into multiple thuds and the duo quickly realized they weren't going to get anymore sleep for the immediate future.

"Maybe I should answer it?" Chad offered with a deep groan of nigh slothful exhaustion.

"It okay!~" Shampoo bubbled, swinging her shapely, decidedly bare legs to the floor, "I do it Airen. You rest." She recommended sweetly, rising to her feet as the grey shirt she was wearing that obviously belonged to her sweetheart since it fell past her curves and to her knees.

"Alright..." Chad mumbled. He wasn't going to argue with that in his tired state. What time was it? It couldn't have been the crack of dawn otherwise the sun would have been at the brim of the horizon. A quick gaze to his blinds revealed it was already up in the sky, sending beams of light through the cracks of his blinds. If his hair wasn't so wavy that might have hurt his eyes.

Shampoo smiled softly down at her sleeping prince before skipping with a merry beat in her step to the front door, pulling it open with literally no regard to her lack of dress or her bed hair. She was quite surprised to see the visitor of clear significance they had, looking up at her shirt-clad form with a puckish grin tugging at the edges of her weathered features, "Great Grandmother?"

"Oh, what do we have here? Already wearing his clothes, are you?" She teased croakily.

She had all the good grace to be embarrassed with a tinge of pink adorning her face, scratching her messy hair, "I just got up."

"At two o'clock in the afternoon?"

Shampoo winced. Had they really slept that long? Good lord from above. They must have been up half the night just talking nigh endlessly about their early adolescences and cultures that by the time they did eventually manage to turn in for the "night" morning had officially begun to start, "Oopsy." She admitted cutely, sticking out her tongue.

With tiny hands curled around her staff, Cologne lightly shook her head at the simplicity of it all. Young love really had a way of influencing the young couple in question to doing over exerting things they normally wouldn't do with anyone else. It pleased the elder that her granddaughter finally had someone to experience this with, "Where is the boy now?" Still, though, as fun as it was teasing her about him business needed to be called.

Shampoo tilted her head, "He sleeping. I get him if you want Great-Grandmother?"

"Please do, Shampoo," She insisted, her tone becoming grave, "It's a matter of great urgency."

Shampoo nodded in understanding, skipping back to her sweetheart, "Airen!~ Great-Grandmother here see you!"

Shutting the door behind her, Cologne moved to the centre of her new, and decidedly, official son-in-law's apartment; that being the kitchen that was one with his living room. It was a cosy singular bachelor pad with light green painted walls and blue carpet. She could see he was relatively organized, leaving little to nothing out of place in his moderately tidy apartment. She made a mental note to look in to acquiring a two bedroom apartment for both him and her granddaughter to live in but thus far, she was liked learning of Chad's tidiness.

She ceased her observations of her son-in-law's apartment when the heavy footsteps of the youngster himself followed by the light ones of his fiancee echoed in the near distance. A pivot of her head rewarded her with the glorious view of her muscular son-in-law, sauntering forward without a shirt on.

"Hm, Cologne-san?" He greeted, still half sleep.

"Quite the physique you have there Son-in-Law," Chad stopped, staring in awkward questioning of Cologne's seemingly wayward sanity. Not that it mattered as she closed the distance between them, further leaving him feeling awkward as she gave him a _thorough_ one-over, "Nice butt too," Jabbing the rear of the huge young man towering several feet above her got him to jump noticeably.

"She just happy you sexy son-in-law, yes? Shampoo said, trying to explain away her grandmother's odd behaviour while giving her spooked beloved comforting strokes on his arm.

"Hm."

"Oh, and a sexy son-in-law you are too," The elder snickered, covering her puckish snickers with her long sleeve, "If I was two hundred years younger, I would marry you myself."

"Great Granddaughter!"

Determining her son in law was put off enough by her mock advances, Cologne took pity on him and dropped the matter to dive into the crux of the reason for her visit to his home, "It's time to begin your training, Son-in-Law."

"Training?" He wasn't against that. Coincidentally, he was actually planning on taking a myriad of training montages himself in the hopes of closing the lofty gap between himself and his best friend, Ichigo: Rocky-style. Ichigo had gained such _strength_ \- raw, pure power - in the Rukia-ordeal that it left Chad feeling small in comparison next to him. That was _not_ the way it was supposed to be since agreeing to have each other's backs all those years ago in middle school. How could he fight alongside Ichigo if he was so far behind him? He really didn't feel confident backing Ichigo up against guys on his level. His one-sided fight against the friendly Shunsui had made it abundantly clear that he was nowhere near that level.

Cologne nodded, "Kisuke Urahara informed me the outlaw known as Sosuke Aizen has began to make his move."

Chad's eyes nearly shot open into view, "You know Mr Urahara?"

The elder smirked cryptically, "Oh he and I go way back sonny."

"Great Grandmother, who this Kisuke Urahara?" Shampoo asked, arms folded behind her back.

"A exiled shinigami from heaven itself and close associate of our tribe," Cologne explained, causing a starry-eyed look to appear in Shampoo's eyes.

"Wow..."

"When he was exiled, I offered him and his acquaintances shelter. On the account of him providing us a lifetime supply of merchandise and information on the Soul Society, they were cleared of the Amazon laws," She said, eliciting a raised eyebrow from Chad.

"You saying Mr Urahara got the kiss of marriage?"

Cologne smirked vaguely, "That's a story for another time sonny," She said, lowering an arm. From her long sleeve emerged two scrolls, one of which she picked up, "We need to get you up to snuff to have any chance against Aizen's Arrancar, which is why I've decided to teach you the Amazon's sacred Bakusai Tenketsu in order to increase your durability."

"What going on, Great Granddaughter?" Shampoo asked, squatting down to pick up the other scroll.

Cologne sighed, "War, Shampoo," Shampoo's eyes widened, "The man, Aizen, who was behind Kisuke's exile is evil. He's intent on overthrowing god himself and taking over the world. If we don't do all we can to oppose him he'll surely succeed. He must be stopped."

"Shampoo see," She murmured, tightening her grip on the scroll in her hand, "Then airen be learning technique in this scroll too?"

Cologne shook her head, "No. That one I fear won't suit his style." Shampoo's inquisitive blink prompted her to elucidate further, "It emphasises speed and precision, something I feel would fit Ranma's style more than Son-in-Law's."

Shampoo's head once again was off to the side in adorable curiosity that had Chad going hard downstairs. Cute things were just so cute, "Ranma?" It felt sort of weird to hear her grandmother refer to the gender-bent martial artist freely by her name but also comforting in the sense that it meant she was freed from her obligation of either slaying or marrying Ranma on the technicality of marrying Chad. Cologne must have conceded a long time ago in her endeavour of manipulating Ranma in marrying her. Ranma had such indomitable tenacity that even the most stubborn Amazonian women would probably throw in the towel in either killing or marrying her girl or guy sides respectively, thus accepting their punishment. Shampoo shuddered to imagine her own potential punishment if Chad hadn't willingly accepted the terms of her engagement. She was already branded to turn into a cat as penance the first time she returned home without bringing back a male Ranma to marry into the tribe.

Any further sentence would have been so much worse.

Chad did her a great service and she would always hold a strong appreciation for his sacrifice that he wouldn't even know.

"Yes," The elder admitted, "Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't ever pass on the techniques held sacred to our tribe to an outsider, but at a time of war, we don't have the luxury of preserving our tribe's customs."

Shampoo nodded. She knew what they were stepping into was deadly serious if her grandmother was willing to bend the rules of their tribe if it meant surviving, "What technique name?"

Cologne gazed to the window of the apartment on the highest floor of the complex; picturing a giant swirling typhoon turning its target's massive explosive nukes holding enough power to decimate cities back at them with twice the force.

"The Hiryu Shoten Ha."

If there was anyone who could master such an intricate technique then it was her.

XxX

(With Ichigo)

XxX

Ichigo stood in contemplative thought leaned coolly up against the lamppost on the side of a street, occasionally shifting his attention from nothing but the sky in particular to a sheet of a paper with a specific address in the palm of his hand.

A lot was his mind, most of it pertaining to his realization of his sealed power, which all came to light when he helped his girlfriend's release her own impressive all-round reiatsu said to rival an average captain at most.

" _Looks like I'm stronger than you, Ichi-chan._ " It was so innocent and casual, leaving Ichigo staring baffled and annoyed at her. An added comment of explanation of her advanced Intune perception of the energy signatures of others, granting her knowledge that her own pool of reiatsu was larger than his own miffed him further.

Instant godlike sensory aptitude aside something about his girlfriend being _stronger than him_ just innately rubbed him the wrong way, especially considering the fact he knew his reiatsu levels were above and beyond the average Captain-joe. Even being told by Rukia one time it would possibly take TWO captains to rival him in reiatsu levels.

Unless that Captain was Kenpachi, but at the time the existence of the crazy strong juggernaut was scarce to him.

…Yet his own sensory prowess wasn't exactly something to write home about.

He couldn't even sense an ant let alone any Captain housing average levels of reiatsu not even suppressing their signature.

Something wasn't adding up.

If his vast amount of power was really much smaller than Ranma's then how were her senses so much more adapt than his were?

That was when Kisuke came up with the all life-saving conclusion of his power being essentially halved by the every organization he had officially aligned himself with, with the acceptance of his combat pass.

He didn't know how he felt about that revelation. On one hand he understood their reasons for halving his power having experienced a tapped lieutenant and captain in his attempt to prevent Rukia from being wrongfully apprehended. That was done to restrict unwarranted influences on his world, the living world, primarily the very humans and wandering spirits residing in it.

Given that his friends in Orihime and Chad had both manifested their own dormant powers from excessive exposure to his, Ichigo wasn't doubtful to that intention in the slightest.

That didn't change his feelings on the matter though. Having one's power stripped from them was one thing, but having said power locked away from them without their knowledge was another thing all together.

If only they had told him, it would've done wonders lessening the blow from his complete beat down at Grimmjow's merciless hands. He still would have been down either way, but he wouldn't be nearly in doubt of his own strength and confidence to protect his love ones had he known beforehand that he wasn't at full power.

Well what done was done now. Crying over spilled milk wasn't going to alter the outcome in this case.

He had his full strength back now. A single tap of the end of Kisuke's cane was all it took to release the annoyance that was his combat pass restriction on his reiatsu and while he definitely had a much huger reiatsu pool than Ranma she was still flat-out better than him in other departments, namely sensory prowess, hand-to-hand aptitude and speed, particularly the latter.

She was incredibly quick. Even in his base shikai state he was caught off-guard by her speedy movement. And that was without mastering or deriving any speed techniques from scratch or from her mentor's trademark's shunpo.

He shuddered in anticipation imagining the possible insane lightning-level of speed his girlfriend could achieve during the duration of her training. It really put her as the trickster to his muscles.

Funnily enough, Kuno's hostile nicknames for them weren't as inaccurate as he first assumed they were.

Ranma; the sorcerer, capable of outsmarting her opponents with her bag of tricks.

Ichigo; the barbarian, most likely looks to overpower his opponents with sheer force with the occasional strategic manoeuvre here and there.

He chuckled darkly.

He was actually giving that crazed nut credit.

He didn't understand life anymore.

"Hey, sugar." The familiar greeting of his girlfriend's close friend from childhood drew him from his musings, looking up to see her hop from a bus looking a lot more feminine than she did when he first met her, sporting a blue blouse and leggings. Even her hair wasn't as tied up in a man's ponytail, freely cascading down to her back with a white bow over her head keeping it straightened.

"Yo," He greeted, meeting her half-way, "Good to see ya again."

"Likewise," She looked him over too, noting just how much more battle-orient he looked when she first met him in his all-black shihakusho, brown straw-sandals and ridiculously long sword strapped to his back by a rosy red strap. She was quite surprise no one had batted an eyelash in seeing a young man rocking such a lethal weapon like it was to be expected in broad daylight.

Maybe his town was as crazy as hers?

"How're things?" She asked, making small talk.

"Good," He admitted in seeing no reason not to, "Yourself?"

"Also good," She inhaled in relaxed relief. It was comforting to know Ichigo was a man of his word about her being in the lives of him and Ranma. There was no hostility in his greeting toward her, and that alone was enough for Ukyo to feel secure that their relationship was on good terms.

"So, what brings ya around here?" Ichigo asked before venturing a guess with his features drying up, "I presume you wanna see Ranma."

"That too," She grinned in her admittance, drawing a nod and a raised eyebrow at the implications. She sobered with the passive silence of allowance she got from Ichigo, "We got trouble, sugar."

She found the hazel pupils of the black robed clad swordsman before her narrowing in anticipation, "What kinda trouble are we talking about here?"

"You know Kuno and Mousse? Those two idiots you seen me with at the train station?"

"Wish I didn't."

"Well, they've sorta joined the forces of evil, hehe…"

"What the fuck?"

"Yep. Nabiki passed by, dangled their tickets in front of their faces, and they were on her ship to villainy. Nothing I could've done about that."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up a sec!" Ichigo requested, flailing his arms inward and outward in the cross symbol to signal the pause, "Nabiki? You talking about Nabiki Tendo, Kasumi-san's sister?"

"Yeah, that Nabiki. Apparently, her and this Aizen-fella joined forces to take over the world, and now she's recruiting anyone she thinks she'd under her thumb."

"Did she try to recruit you?"

At this, Ukyo's chest swelled up with a smirk emerging on her face, "Tried too, yeah. I told her to stick her offer where the sun doesn't shine."

"Nice."

"Tried to take a swing at her, but that's when things got a little… dicey," Ukyo further explained, awkwardly caressing the side of her neck at the discreet reference to Nabiki's decidedly out-there escort.

Ichigo's countenance twisted in wary consideration for her troubles, "How so?"

She shook her head as though she were telling Ichigo he really didn't want to know, "She had this weird guy as a bodyguard. Guy stopped my attack dead in its tracks and bisected my spatula like it was nothing!"

Ichigo widened his eyes, "Hold up. This weird guy, did he have a mask?"

"Yeah actually, he did," Ukyo blinked blankly, her eyes soon narrowing with the dreaded insinuation of there being more of Ulquiorra's kind. Just one of him was more than enough to manufacture the stuff of nightmares. A whole race of them would bring hell on Earth, "Why's that important? Do you know more of those guys?"

There was no mincing of the words from Ichigo to curdle her, "Yeah, I do. They're Aizen's boys."

Her own gaze hardened from the knife-edge ramifications of one man having such a fighting force at his disposal, "I see."

"C'mon," He suddenly suggested, jerking his head away from civilization, "Let's take this somewhere else."

"Good idea," She agreed, noticing the bewildered stares their conversation had garnered from bypassers, "Attracting a crowd here anyway."

"Probably think you're talking to yourself," Ichigo explained with an offhanded gaze to the spectators which were distinctly Ukyo's own.

"Eh?" Ukyo blinked, now finding it apparent to be thorough in her observation of the spectators she assumed were attracted by their bizarre conversation of criminal masterminds hell-bent on world domination. Much to her unease they were goggling at her as though she had just broken out of the asylum... and her alone. Their stares made her incredibly self-conscious as she hugged herself, "What the hell? Can't they see ya?"

"It's just that," Ichigo began to clarify, causing Ukyo's inquisitive look to whip back to him, "They _can't_ see me. Normal humans can't see Shinigami."

Shinigami – As in God of Death.

It was funny, in a dry sense just how easily Ukyo rolled with that casual admission when normally, if a friend of a friend had flatly told her he was god's escort for the dead she would have laughed in his face and told him in return to get his head checked out.

So instead of calling cock-and-bull on Ichigo's statement she merely quipped, her features deadpanning regardless, "Should've known you'd be something crazy to attract Ranchan." It wasn't that the girl herself was crazy, it was just that she had the strange tendency to attract insanity, "Well, this makes me rethink myself being ordinary."

"You guys actually thought you were ordinary?" There he goes, being an asshole.

She just wished Akane were here so she could see for herself that a nice guy could also be an asshole.

"Shut it, jackass!"

Ichigo offered her a good-natured smirk before gesturing with his head elsewhere, "C'mon, let's get moving."

Ukyo nodded, self-conscious of the roaming eyes pinning to her person. She stayed with her arms hugged around herself until they were out of sight in the sanctuary of a wide open meadow frequented by few of the more nature-orient individuals, and they were few and far between and spaced out in the abundance of grassy area.

It was there Ukyo fully relayed her terrifying experience of the masked horned creature Ichigo mentally made note was an Arrancar and Nabiki and her skin-crawling empathy with Aizen. Only being sickened with the realization of just how seamless Nabiki's nature resonated with Aizen's with each detail Ukyo gave him.

Her sick twisted method of coercion of perceiving Kuno and Mouse into making them believe she could grant their desires and casual disregard for the lives she toyed with. It was that cold-bloodied brutality to use the desires of others against them that mirrored Aizen and why Ichigo found their bizarre connection _disturbingly_ right.

"I see," The hazel eyed youth murmured, his fist trembling on his knee from where he sat in front of Ukyo on a bench, "They're the ones responsible for destroying that town in Tokyo."

"Yeah," Ukyo confirmed, the edges of her lips forming a humourless smile, "Scary, ain't it?"

A grim nod from the spooked teen was her answer. It wasn't the display of power itself that had him so out of it given that he could distribute an equal amount if he chose, but the fact someone's heart could be cold enough to utilize said power to commit mass genocide. Even if it was their bodyguard, "Can't believe Kasumi-san even had a sister like that."

"Sometimes siblings can be like night and day," True enough.

He just needed to look at his own sisters to see the factuality in Ukyo's insight.

One was cheerful, introverted and warm.

The other was laid-back, fairly grumpy, and outgoing.

In that sense Kasumi and Nabiki were much the same as his own yin-and-yang sisters.

Kasumi symbolized the day, being warm, polite, proper ladylike and reserved.

Nabiki embodied the night and every bit of darkened characteristic about it being cold, ruthless, arrogant, cunning and although he hadn't officially met her, Ichigo would bet she would probably impolite and flirtatious to boot.

Because such was expected of opposite siblings.

"Yo, Ichigo." That gave him a jolt. He'd had two separate occasions to familiarize himself with the laid-back masculine voice greeting him somewhere near Ukyo, the first being the night he failed to prevent Rukia's arrest and the second being their clash of ideals which Ichigo prevailed. After all was said and done they made their peace so Ichigo wasn't surprised to hear zero hostility in his voice.

He was, however, surprised to see the redhead, pineapple-headed styled Shinigami standing before him with four others he recognized and mostly weirded out to see him dressed so… funky.

"Renji?" Ichigo identified, his eyes souring in annoyance almost immediately after, "What the hell are you wearing?"

"What?" Renji blinked, giving himself a one over, from the short-sleeved colourful shirt possessing all the colours of the rainbow in sound waves over a tanned yellow long-sleeved jumper, to his beige-coloured pants, similarly coloured sleeveless vest-jacket over his decidedly radical t-shirt and brown loafer shoes tucked neatly on his feet.

All in all he looked like a hippy stuck in the past.

"Isn't this in?" He asked, causing Ichigo to groan in disgust.

Ichigo was spared the effort of explaining just how NOT IN his treads were by Ukyo, the girl stifling the last residue of her good-natured laughter, "Sorry, sugar, but that style's about twenty years out of date."

"Well no one asked you guys," He grumped, both sweetening and hardening the innocent smile and smug smirk on the faces of Ukyo and Ichigo respectively. When that was off his chest he gave Ukyo a one-over. Being perhaps too thorough in his observation of her if the girl's shudder was any indication.

"Oh-kay," She said awkwardly, 'This guy's totally nuts.'

"So, I take it you're Ichigo's girlfriend, right?" That was one way of being blunt about it. The look on Ichigo's face was priceless when Renji turned a teasing smirk his way. The beautiful, long-haired buxom woman held a similar expression, though hers was innocent and playful whereas Renji's was smug and playful.

"Oh no!" Ukyo dismissed, sheepishly waving both her hands with a grin, "I'm actually her friend," She lowered her arms, her smile warming to the brightly lit sun she partly gazed to, "She and I go way back."

He took a moment to resonate with Ukyo's fond expression of reminiscence before sighing under his breath, feeling bad was jumping the gun, "I see." If anyone knew childhood friendship than it was Renji, and although his feelings for his childhood friend transcended to the realms of romantic nowadays, the initial concept was the same.

"What?" Ichigo wasn't amused in the slightest by Renji's misinterpretation of his stance with Ukyo.

"You idiot."

"Hey, I was close alright!" Renji insisted defensively.

"Bullshit! You were way off!"

"The hell I was! She's your girlfriend's friend! I say I was pretty damn close!"

Ukyo watched the mini butting of the heads between the boys in wonder, their forms slowly shifting to that of a male Ranma and Ryoga in her view, 'Heh, it's almost like I'm watching Ranchan and that dolt arguing again.' A melancholy smile graced her features at the familiarity of it all.

"These two… they're hopeless," The white-haired elementary-looking kid grumbled in irritation. At least he was dressed a lot more casually, Ukyo mused. Toshiro flexed a black t shirt underneath a white dress shirt and a red hooded jacket. Accompanied by a pair of slim grey pants and black shoes.

"Oh, I don't know, I think they're kinda cute," The sex bomb of the orange haired woman insisted in a yellow long-sleeved blouse, midnight blue skinny jeans and black shoes on her feet.

"You think everything's cute, Rangiku," Toshiro argued back.

"Well this is," She shrugged, her light baby blue pupils gleaming with playful mischief Ichigo's way, "Little Ichigo has himself a girlfriend!"

"Would you cut that out!?" Ichigo sputtered demandingly, a tinge of pink flowing across his cheeks.

Rangiku squealed at his embarrassment before propping herself next to him, taking his hands in her own with a starred up expression of excitement, "So tell me about her! She is big, small, tall, short, light-skinned, dark-skinned. What she is like? Is she miserable like you, playful like me or something in between?"

"You can go meet her yourself, sheesh!" Ichigo hurried, visibly floored from the rapid succession of questions regarding his girlfriend from the excited older woman as though she was his sister as he pulled his hands out of hers, turning away in a grump.

"I don't see what the big deal is," The bald-headed Ikkaku mumbled in a sleeveless black vest top, grey pants and black shoes. To Ukyo, he looked like a bit of a punk who got into fights every day, especially with his wooden sword flexed casually on his shoulder and bandaged wrapped forehead and cheek.

"As long as he doesn't let his girl keep him from his training," A savage smirk overtook his lips, "I still haven't forgotten the results of our last fight."

"Yeah, sure. I kicked your ass once I'll kick your ass again," Ichigo said dismissively, getting a scowl from the bandaged wrapped swordsman before Ichigo's curiosity to his nursed state won out, "What happened to your face anyway, man?"

Ikkaku pivoted his head away from Ichigo's sight with a stiff turn, frowning, "I don't wanna talk about it." Well that only served to increase his curiosity.

"Okay."

"Ikkaku had a run in with the Captain's new son." Ichigo was just lucky Ikkaku's fellow 11th division squadmate and close friend Yumichika was here to pacify his curiosity, wearing a slim-fit long-sleeved purple jumper, beige-coloured skinny jeans and black shoes tucked upon his feet.

For Ukyo, a girl who was openly masculine on school days, it was easy to see just how feminine Yumichika was, with his shoulder-length gelled midnight blue hair and colourful feathers above his eyelashes.

"I said I don't wanna talk about it damn it!" Ikkaku restated impatiently.

"Kenpachi has a son?" That was both a terrifying and interesting revelation. For one it brought up the obvious question of who in the right frame of mind would want to _fuck_ that lunatic. Ichigo really didn't want the answer to that any more than details to the offspring of a most likely fighting-frantic couple.

He found himself shuddering at the thought of Kenpachi going at it tooth and nail against a muscular female and mini me versions of himself, bellowing crazily as they fought day in, day out for all eternity.

"Yeah…" He grinned sheepishly, eliciting a roll of the eyes from Toshiro at his apparent simple-minded way of deducing things.

"Well, not literally," Yumichika specified.

Well thank god for that, "So some guy like Kenpachi won a fight against Ikkaku."

An irritated growl was all he got from the equipped baldy.

"Not exactly."

"Eh? What do you mean? Didn't they fight?"

"Define 'fight'."

* * *

 _Flashback – Seiteirei – 11_ _th_ _Division Area_

" _Now where am I?" Ryoga sighed in irritation, hands on his hips as he came to an intersection; the gaping hole in the stoned wall in front of him unofficially making a third pathway, "Ahhh, I'm never gonna find Rukia at this rate." And this was like the fifth time he'd gotten lost on this day alone._

 _He couldn't entirely blame it on his newly awakened abundance of reiatsu either. Uncontrollable powers or not he still sucked at making out directions, and nothing like a power-up was going to fix his horrendous sense of direction overnight._

 _Besides that, the Seiteirei was massive. Probably much larger than an average city if Ryoga had to estimate. Each little section felt like its own town the size of Nerima. Ryoga hadn't gotten the chance yet, what with spontaneously materializing in different sections of the military grounds, but if he could at some point climb to the highest leverage point – that being that huge hill towering above the main tower – he would probably discover he was understating the Seiteirei's size._

 _Thousands upon thousands of Shinigami had to reside here just to justify its size._

 _It really had the effect of humbling Ryoga. Here, among these myriad of ancient powerful beings, he could be classified as a somebody, somewhat anyway._

" _Hey!"_

 _Ryoga stopped at the call of a familiar voice or at least one he recognized, pivoting to come face to face with the first Shinigami he unofficially met, "Huh?" He extended an index finger forward, bland in his enquiry, "Don't I know you?"_

 _Ikkaku smirked, "You will after I break you in, new kid."_

 _Ryoga wasn't any more interested as he was intimidated as Ikkaku had hoped he would be, "Okay," He pointed in a random direction, "Listen, I gotta get moving. Old man will probably kill me if I take too much time… soo."_

" _Hey! Are you even listening to me, dipshit!"_

" _Yeah, I get it. You wanna fight," Ryoga summarized, causing Ikkaku to growl at his casual breakdown of his reasons for initiating a fight as though he were dealing with a child, "But I'm not interested," He looked back at him with a pensive expression, "Why do you even wanna fight me anyway?"_

 _Ikkaku quickly regained his previous composure, his animalistic smirk returning as he tightened his grip on his spear, "Because you're the new kid," He explained, "You see, seniors like me tend to get put-off by the arrival of a newcomer potentially moving above them in the rankings, so to assure that doesn't happen they made quick sure they know who's king in their neck-of-the-woods."_

 _To Ryoga, a story detailing the adventures of a drying wall would've been just as interesting as Ikkaku's reasons for picking a fight with him,_ " _So, you're gonna rookie crush me, huh?"_

" _Exactly!"_

 _He galloped forward with a speed Ryoga couldn't match but oddly tracked with noticeable ease before connecting the underside of his fist with his cheek, curving it inward._

 _It occurred too fast for the mind to fully register. One instance, he could feel his fist digging into the cheek of the inhuman human holding reiatsu levels rivalling his captain as he exhilaration at facing such an immeasurably powerful opponent bubbled in the pit of his stomach._

 _And then, an explosive force like that of an atomic bomb ploughed into his own cheek, not only flattening him to the ground below but also burying his head into the dirt ground._

" _Ah…" He could only twitch spasmodically on the ground._

 _Ryoga was seen marching away grouchily, blood dripping off of his fist, "Sheesh, what an asshole."_

" _Oh!~ Hell~oo, Lost-boy!~" The voice of an innocent young girl rang out in a chirpy sing-song tone, ceasing Ryoga's strides as he turned to face her._

 _Ryoga's first question wasn't asking who was the diminutive elementary-looking young bubble-gum haired girl who looked like she should be in school but held the exact same badge on her arm as Isane putting her on equal footing as the aforementioned shy girl, but… "How does she know about me?"_

 _Yachiru stopped right in front of him, smiling brightly up at him as she took his hand in her own. Did she also know about his worthless sense of direction? Wow, "I've been looking all over for you!~"_

" _Me?" He pointed dumbly to himself with his free hand, getting a cheery nod from the girl, "How come?" He tilted his head to the side, "Did the old man send you?"_

" _Um," There was a pause, "Yep!" That was overlooked, "Follow me! I'll lead you straight to… grandpa grizzly beard." It took all her willpower not to outright say Kenny._

 _Grandpa grizzly beard? Well that was a whimsical name for the strongest and most significant captain in all of Seiteirei, Ryoga mused, "Well, okay then." He accepted, blissfully oblivious to whom she was really leading him to._

' _Ken-chan's gonna be so happy!~'_

XxX

(End of Flashback)

"And then she led him to the captain in which a chase ensued." Yumichika ended. By this point both Ichigo and Ukyo were staring at the self-proclaimed pretty boy in disbelief, for different reasons but both were flabbergasted all the same.

"Holy shit. This guy one-shot you, man," Ichigo stated, looking toward Ikkaku.

"Now you see why I didn't want to talk about it?" Ikkaku asked grumpily in return.

"I see that," Ichigo assured, offering him an apologetic grin for his troubles.

"Wait. Hold up," Ukyo requested, getting Yumichika's attention, "This lost guy, what was his name again?"

He studied her curious expression for a moment before answering, "Ryoga as he was specified," He said, eyes narrowing, "Do you feel this particular Ryoga could be an acquaintance of yours?"

"Yeah," Ukyo nodded, "What's his full name?"

"Ryoga Hibiki."

"Yeah that's him alright."

"Figures you would know him," Ichigo grumped, drawing a dirty look from the chef elite before she turned to face him with a challenging glare, hands on her hips.

"Oh, and what's that supposed to mean?"

"You kidding? Your town has all the nut jobs!"

"Don't gimme that bull! Just from that story alone everyone from that Seiteirei place seem just as crazy as anyone from Nerima!"

"She isn't entirely wrong," Toshiro muttered, mostly in relation to every resident of the eleventh division.

That didn't mean Ukyo wasn't going to use his half-hearted agreement to her advantage in her argument with Ichigo, though, "See!" She bragged, closing the distance between their faces while extending an arm toward Toshiro, "Even the kid agrees with me on that one!"

A goggled eyed look of annoyance gave way to a deep glower on Toshiro's countenance; his irritation only furthered by the mocking snickers and giggles from Renji and Rangiku respectively.

"As if! He said you're 'not entirely wrong,' which means you're not all right either!"

"So what? I'm still right, aren't I?"

"Gah."

"These two are totally unbearable," Toshiro muttered in irritation.

"I think they're just adorable!" Rangiku chirped, stopping the argument long enough for the two to take note of her and her additional comparison, "It's like watching a pair of siblings butting heads for superiority, Captain!~"

Their gazes met in a questionable stareoff before it fell off in an awkward cringe. While Ukyo and Ichigo had nothing against each other, they still wasn't exactly keen on the idea of being the other's sibling, even just emulating siblings in all but blood.

That would imply that they were close. They were on good terms, but wasn't tight.

"Rightttt…" Ukyo droned sarcastically, grinning awkwardly before redirecting the topic of conversation back to Ryoga's location, "So, this Seiteirei-place… where is that exactly?"

Before any of the Gotei's finest could exchange contemplative glances with their superior, their substitute Shinigami answered without beating around the bush, seeing no reason not to, "Heaven."

"Heaven?"

"Pretty much."

"Pretty much?"

"Yeah… it's just not really what you'd call 'heavenly'. Cliché-wise that is."

"Oh. How the hell did that jackass end up there then?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Ichigo said gruffly, narrowing his gaze to the tenth division captain.

"He teleported."

Eyebrows were raised.

"He… teleported?" Ichigo questioned incredulously.

"Yes."

"Past all the security? Just instant transmission'd in there?"

"I understand just how implausible it must sound," Toshiro reasoned, not even bothering to wonder what Ichigo was referring to with his vague teleportation name, "And to be frank I wouldn't have believed it myself if Ryoga hadn't actually materialized in the heart of the Seiteirei, but it's that same unpredictability which gives me hope that we can triumph against Aizen's potentially evolved Vasto Lorde."

"Vasto Lorde?" That sounded like a godlike entity if there ever was one.

Toshiro sighed, figuring he should probably start from the beginning.

"It's like this…"

* * *

XxX

 _BLEACH_

 _x_

 _X_

 _x_

 _Ranma ½_

XxX

* * *

Gillian.

Adjuchas.

Vasto Lorde.

The three forms of a hollow's evolution.

They were constantly encircling on the mind of Ichigo as he made his way to his given address.

He wasn't one to hope or pray being the realist he was, but even he couldn't help but do both upon learning of the godlike power of a Vasto Lorde. Just one of them could rival a Captain in might _without_ a buff, even outright overpower them. There was no telling just how wide of a monstrous gap they could bridge between themselves and the Captain-class Shinigami being granted Shinigami powers from Aizen's stolen Hogyoku.

It was even little comforting to learn the number of potentially known Vasto Lorde were most likely in the minority, single digits at most. With their power and influence just a handful of them would more than likely suffice to make up the ground.

Toshiro's vouching of Ryoga's power didn't give him any more comfort than the small amount of godlike hollows did.

Even if he didn't personally know the guy, he wasn't one to rely solely on another's power, thus his course of action that day was decided.

He was already intent on seeking out this Vizard organization – the Arrancars' antithesis in that they were Shinigami with hollows powers – to help him either tame or banish his inner hollow so it couldn't hurt his love ones, but this new development of Aizen's potentially divine army of gods only steeled that resolve further.

He followed the directions to an alleyway and at the end of it lied a beaten down warehouse surrounded by a glowing orange hologram forming the shape of a massive four-sided impenetrable blockage from all sides. It kind of reminded him of Orihime's barrier from her shun shun powers, "This is the place," He identified with a look at the paper.

Why was he getting the feeling this establishment belonged to a group of super powered thugs? Because to him the worn down building looked exactly like the kind of place a crew would claim as their own.

"I gotta bad feeling about this," He grumbled, reaching into the confines of his shihakusho and pulling out an envelope containing a letter Kisuke had assured him would grant him passage into the Vizard's society, "Guess I'll find out." He ripped off the top of the envelope, pulling out the letter. He unfolded it and coughed into his fist, preparing to read it out loud.

"Hey, this is Ichigo Kurosaki! Form an ordinary line for your servings of ass whooping! Get 'em while their hot!"

Ichigo immediately scrunched up the decidedly formal challenge letter in a ball, his scowl increasing with each crunch that echoed in the eerie silent air, "Damn Hat 'n Clogs," He should've knew he was planning some trolling bullshit the moment he suspiciously advised him not to even open the letter much less take a sneak peek before he got there.

He didn't even know why he read all of it out loud for. Oh well. Since this was _Kisuke Urahara_ – aka the Troll King – who was prone to childish pranks to get beneath the skins of his associates as though he was the apprentice of Bugs Bunny, Ichigo assumed this Hollow mask organization could rationalize the stunt was the goofy scientist's doing.

Before him the towering faint tangerine luminescence blocking entry to the warehouse fell like a stream of flowing water and the garage door of the building rose up like an automatic door, permitting exit to a fair, light skinned petite girl, with bleached blonde hair shaped in two pigtails hanging from either side of her head. She sported a red tracksuit with her jacket unzipped to display her white t shirt underneath and the edges of her pants were rolled up to her ankles.

Most noticeable features of the freckled faced girl were – as far as trademark Shinigami attire went – her wooden sandals tucked upon her otherwise bare feet and katana sheathed to her back and held there by simple ropes.

When she locked gazes with Ichigo, her scowl increased as she fisted her hips.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, Baldy?!"

Baldy?

…He wasn't even bald.

Something told Ichigo he was in for an annoying time.

 _XxX_

 **Chapter 11**

Soul Society's Greatest Threat

 _XxX_

"This'll be a one on one sparring session," Yoruichi instructed, standing face to face with her funniest disciple yet in the underground mountain terrain basement area of Kisuke designed by the goofy scientist himself, good-natured smirk plastered on her face.

Training Ranma these last couple of days had been anything but dull, whether they were going through the basics of Yoruichi's hand to hand combat style, experimenting with Ranma's newfound powers, and taking their much-needed down time after their hours of training, it was lively. The liveliest she'd ever had with any of her previous disciples, but that really wasn't saying much.

Two of them more or less worshipped the very ground she sauntered on and then there was Ichigo.

Could she even call him a pupil of hers? Would what they shared be considered a master/student relationship? The most she did for him was teach him her trademark, widely renown Shunpo and helped him master an imperfect version of his Bankai, and even then all she really did was give him the tool necessary to manifest his Zanpakuto spirit.

Zangetsu did the rest as expected.

The Zanpakuto of a Shinigami was always their true master.

It had been that way since the dawn of time.

"Fine by me." Her awesome disciple casually accepted. Strapped upon her wrists were two hand daggers, two sharp blades glittering in the sunlight stretching past the tips of her fingers with extra outer layers, those greyed and ragged, like a chainsaw. The handles were black with golden kanji, one meaning "free" and the other meaning "wind," and each were strapped to her wrists by chain wristbands, always leaving her the option for long-ranged attacks. It wasn't really her style, but it was there.

"Just a heads-up, my sparring matches tend to get a little messy," Ranma smirked with a shrug.

Yoruichi tossed her head back and chortled. This was why she _loved_ this girl like no other. She wasn't afraid to banter with her, student or not. That gave her an A-plus in Yoruichi's book, "Is that so?" The purple-haired master challenged.

"Uh-huh."

"Then show me."

They locked gazes and imaginary shots were fired.

Ranma accelerated herself forward in a blur of nigh untraceable movement few would've seen before angling her body back and thrusting her leg forward to deliver a punishing flying kick to her opponent's head, sailing over it with the nigh casual lean back from Yoruichi as though she were doing limbo.

Never one to be deterred so easily, Ranma distinctly flexed her palm in mid-air, releasing a miniature tornado the size of an ant before cancelling her momentum in a hand stand, coming back round with a spin kick that Yoruichi nonchalantly leaned away from, rolling with her momentum to lunge forward with a rising heel kick on the turn.

Ranma flowed underneath the blow in a seamless spin, twisting her body in a full 360 before tucking her arms inward underneath her armpits, flinging them forward with open palms. Twin transparent windy forms coated her arms, like a duo of typhoons armouring her limbs before firing at Yoruichi, merging in a mazy twist.

Though by the time it had left its originator's arms its target was already squatted neatly in the air, leaving the hurricane blast scarring the landscape of which it travelled, cleaving boulders, rock formations, plateaus, and small cliffs in half way to leave convenient pathways in each before punching a cratered hole in a small mountain.

All the while as Yoruichi landed like a feather on Ranma's arms.

Landed on Ranma's arms.

The very tactic Ranma frequently used to get under her opponent's skins, thus clouding their judgement with rage was used against her.

The ancient superstition of what goes around always comes around couldn't have been any truer in this case. Yoruichi's almost knowing smirk was just rubbing salt in her bleeding wound, but if one folktale was true than so was the one of "instead of getting angry get even".

With a flip performed so fast it could have been considered teleportation to those not on her speed level, Ranma was seated upon her master's shoulders. Yoruichi could only make an O with her mouth in her silent appreciation of her student's quick thinking and innovation before Ranma executed a hand-stand on her shoulders, kicking downward.

Yoruichi countered with her own kick inverted to Ranma's, and although she'd grown in leaps and bounds since manifesting her unique, full power, Yoruichi was still stronger in physicality, much stronger given Ranma's lightweight status. Hence the momentum of Yoruichi's attack carried the two off of the ground.

Ranma could feel the intense sting of pain from the clash of ankles, but pushed down her pain to right herself, angling a side kick aimed at her master's head but was only met with the high strike of Yoruichi's foot instead. Ankles collided once more and pain surged through Ranma, but much like before it was ignored to parry the forward thrust motion of Yoruichi's foot with her own, which led to the air battle display of feet.

Gravity simply had no hold on them as the two clashed legs in a beautiful air battle of masterful elegance. Every manoeuvre was done with skilful brilliance and each parry and block was struck with such precise speed it kept them suspended in the air. Ranma didn't even need to utilize her new powers for this, not when her old ones perfectly sufficed.

The Saotome style specialized in air fighting. She had to hand it to her old man, he may have been a good for nothing bum, but he was still a damn good unorthodox teacher who had prepared her well.

The instance the two high flyers allowed gravity to do its job in bringing them back down to earth they separated, meeting back up to the highest plateau leaving two streams of clear crystalized reiatsu that created two half circles. The resulting collision sprayed pebbles beneath their feet, scarring the wide rock platform they were on.

"Not bad," Yoruichi smirked, distancing herself from her apprentice with a quick leap, "But let's see how you handle this," She extended an open palm forward. Right above the flat of her palm materialized a golden crystalized orb of condensed lightning, filling Ranma's eyes with wonder and fascination.

"What is that spell?" They had gone through the Shinigami arts when they'd been going through Yoruchi's hakuda techniques, otherwise known as hand-to-hand combat. From what she picked up kido fell into three separate categories each possessing their own myriad of offensive and defensive spells.

Bakudo – Way of Binding.

Hado – Way of Destruction.

Kaido – Turn way, healing.

Well, two categories, offensive and support. Kaido fell in the latter.

Given that she was a fighter at heart, she leaned more toward Hado than anything else but didn't rule out the other forms of Kido either. She wondered if she could add any to her repertoire. After all she wasn't able to fully master Shunpo, but instead ended up using it as a basis for her own speed technique, but let it never be said Ranma Saotome was a quitter. Somehow, someway those nifty techniques would be hers.

Speaking of techniques, there was still the perilous matter of the thunderous move her teacher was generating on the palm of her hand. Ranma got a rough idea just what particular _beloved_ category it fell into when Yoruichi fired it at her, righting her palm up and out and shoving her arm forward.

"Hado number 63, Raikoho (Thunder Roar Sear)!"

It rushed forward in a streak of immense lightning, producing the sounds of thunder as it seemingly ripped through Ranma, causing the gobsmacked redhead's body to break away in fragments as though she had been sliced to pieces, and it didn't stop there. Even the ground it travelled was gouged and scorched from the streak's mere speed before it collided with a cliff, setting the ledge alight and causing it to crumble to the ground below.

"Impressive," Yoruichi complimented, eyes turning to the starting point of their spar to find her disciple materializing from the three fragments she dematerialized in to begin with in a kneel, "You planted one of your vortexes right at the start of our fight to have your pseudo teleportation up your sleeve at the ready."

"Don't kid yourself," Ranma snapped, sounding insulted, "I only used Jinsokuna Jokyo (Swift Removal) to spare ya from the embarrassment from seeing your thunder attack do squat."

Did Yoruichi mention she just loved Ranma? She really did. Her other two disciples would've been beaming at any praise from her, but not Ranma. This girl had an ego Yoruichi could really relate to, "Haha," She laughed, one hand on her hip and the other on her forehead, "I'm gonna hold ya to that."

"Hold away," Ranma began to quip rhythmically in unison with rising to her feet and retaking her unorthodox stance, "Til ya old and grey."

In a flash befitting of her framed moniker, Yoruichi was before her disciple, driving an axe heel kick atop of her, though like possessing twinkling toes a smooth twist of the tip of her toes moved Ranma out of harm's way and to Yoruichi's seemingly unprotected rear. The redhead struck low, sweeping the stoned flooring with a tail whip that had Yoruichi leaping up with her knees held closely to her chest as if she was playing skip role.

She leaned back in a mid-air back flip to lash out at Ranma, leading with her leg in a bicycle kick that Ranma quickly mirrored with her own; their feet clashing from their upside down perspective. They pushed away from each other to land in neat rolls, coming back at the other just as fast with rising sidekicks, carrying each other off of the ground from the sheer force of the collision of feet as their legs created a triangle in mid-air.

A quick separation in their landing gave way to a rapid exchange of blows. Waist against waist. Fist against fist. Elbow against elbow. Ankle against ankle. Every motion was little more than a blur to the spectators above. Even when they took their fight on the move they resembled two brightly lit orbs rebounding off of each other, cratering the ground from their collisions.

"Whoa… what the hell is she?" Jinta mumbled, completely amazed by the accelerated growth rate of his fellow redhead. She held her own fairly well against his boss' equal and that alone was an otherworldly feat in of itself after being a relatively unassuming girl days before.

Were all humans hiding this kind of _raw_ potential?

It was a terrifying thought.

"She's amazing…" Ururu murmured with wide beady eyes, widening with each new crater opening up in the stoned ground below them.

Tessai had to agree. He could barely trace the girl's speedy movements, but that shouldn't have come to no surprise to him. Anyone who could keep up with Yoruichi even at half of her strength was always going to be a serious contender and at most Tessai himself was only lieutenant-level.

"Holy hell."

The kids and their supervision gazed up to see Ukyo and Renji dropping beside them on the platform they stood on, both gawking at the spectacle on show.

"You again?" Jinta questioned with a tilt of the head, though was ignored by the chef.

"Is that… Ranchan?" Ukyo whispered, almost afraid to enquiry if the abundance of windy power was really her old friend.

"Impressive, right?" Beside her, dropped Kisuke, flexing his usual sly grin masqueraded by the brim of his bucket hat. Ukyo managed to pry her eyes from the exhibition to give the older male a slow nod, her throat feeling inexplicably dry.

The intense display of raw speed and clashing auras came to a pause in a collision of elbows which deepened the ground below the two speedsters' feet. A mischievous smirk tugged at the edges of Yoruichi's lips at the wheezes of exhaustion of her student she controlled through her nostrils masterfully, though her steadily rising chest betrayed her masqueraded endurance.

"You're slowing down." It was not a question. Ranma's brows furrowing in a frown only reaffirmed Yoruichi's credence.

'Darn it! She's right. I ain't had much time to regulate my Kaze ni dengeki (Blitz in the Winds)," Just one burst of her newly crafted Shunpo-based speed power was taxing on her reiatsu, much more than her Swift Removal. Ranma's pseudo teleportation power wasn't continuous like her speed technique. It took her from point A to point B instantaneously, but the range of which she could plant an X and Y vortexes from each other to drift in between them were extremely limited, limiting its usage to last-ditch escape routes.

The Kaze Ni Dengeki (Blitz in the Winds) was pure speed magnified to hypersonic levels. By concentrating her reiatsu to the soles of her feet Ranma can accelerate herself either forward, backward or sideward in a long dash. The activation of her immense speed technique can carry Ranma past multiple city blocks, but sustained usage will drain her reiatsu just as fast.

Given how many bursts she had performed rivalling Yoruichi's Shunpo in their myriad of speedy collisions, it came as no surprise to her that her master would notice her slacking on its use, even only faintly.

Still, this was Ranma who Yoruichi was calling out and she wasn't one to throw in the towel so easily, "Shows what you know," She shot back defensively, distancing herself from the orange-clad older woman with a leap, landing in a crouch with her hand distinctly poised to touch the rocky surface of their training field, "I'm just getting warmed up."

Yoruichi couldn't have been any more coolly pleased by her show of defiance if she tried, "Really? I haven't even sweated," She retorted casually.

Ranma fumed, but pushed down the blow to her pride to bury one of her mini vortex carriers within the surface of the rocky terrain as though she was planting a seed. Blitzing vertically with the usage of Kaze Ni Dengeki brought her to Yoruichi's far, wide right, earning herself her instructor's inquisitive smirk.

"Oh, what's this? Just what strategy are you cooking up, Little Bird?" She teased, watching her student leave another teleportation getaway embedded into the rocky ground before utilizing another burst of Kaze Ni Dengeki, this time appearing in Yoruichi's flank. By the time Yoruichi had turned her head to study her disciple she was already gone, with the only indication of her existence in that space being a nigh overgrown tornado.

Swift removal.

Suddenly, the very recent memory of Ranma leaving a vortex before blitzing flashed through Yoruichi's mind.

She might have spun back round to taunt the redhead on her seemingly weak strategy if the sudden strike in her reiatsu didn't get her to momentarily widen her eyes. Even just a tad. Instead, she zipped back around, watching with intrigue and a slither of apprehension as a crystalized white glow shrouded her left hand dagger, her arm tucked underneath her armpit.

"Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken (Chestnuts on an open fire)…" She chanted the name of a technique which had quickly earned itself a unique place in her heart as one of her personal favourites, all for the fact it opened up many doors to new techniques, one she had already used and another she was going to use. The lustrous diamond white light shrouded on her blade suddenly expanded to that of an orb, producing the obnoxious grinding sound of chainsaws briefly before it minimized to that of a faint dot on the tip of Ranma's blade.

A self-satisfied smile sweeping across her lips would prove to be the only forewarning Yoruichi was going to receive that preparations for her grandiose attack were all but done, "Rōsuto kuri no burēdo (Blades of Roasted Chestnuts)," The forward stretching motion of her arm was all that was needed to initiate the deadly storm. A plethora of tangible condense beams of energy were rocketed out of the small orb on Ranma's blade, each in the shape of a crescent moons half the size of her boyfriend's signature Getsuga Tenshou, though what they lacked in size and raw penetration power they more than made up for in numbers.

They _decimated_ the land of which they travelled to their target, tearing the terrain a new A-hole all the while producing the searing sound of an eagle's cry before making explosive contact with a seemingly gobsmacked Yoruichi in a sundering collision that further tore up the landscape around them asunder.

"She got her!" Ukyo exclaimed, shielding her eyes with her arm from the mass of debris the collision of powerful entity and equally mighty move had picked up.

Renji was awestruck. He couldn't believe the emergence of sheer power residing inside the girl, especially considering the fact it came hot on the heels of Ryoga's crazy strength. It was borderline jaw-dropping feeling the bandanna-clad young man's oceanic reiatsu spiking wildly on a day of no particular value. Only to get told by the friend of the man he greatly respected that said admired comrade was effortlessly defeated by the inhumanly powerful ryoka.

Ikkaku couldn't even explain his decisive defeat to Ryoga either, but all fairness who could rationalize a loss that was inflicted upon their stats within five seconds of confrontation? The only thing of substantial information he took away from the skirmish was that Ryoga could hit with the force of a truck. And while Ichigo's girlfriend didn't possess nearly the same level of raw physical strength or oceanic reiatsu pool as Ryoga, she was still captain-level in her own right.

But that wasn't really surprising that the two abnormally strong humans contrasted each other's styles but were both equally on the level of his superiors. Someone of his experience knew no two warriors would ever be exactly the same. They could be similar, yes, like in Kenpachi and Ichigo's cases, not borderline carbon copies.

Ryoga and Ranma were fine examples of this.

One – Ryoga – was a powerhouse whom overpowered his opponents with his strength and abundance of power while the other, Ranma, fought with a finesse and intricacy that reminded the Sixth Division lieutenant of his captain.

In many ways, it was comforting; the emergence of two powerful – and by association, reliable – allies at their beck and call. Especially after hearing just neck-deep in hot water they could have potentially been in from Captain Hitsugaya if, by some horrible stroke of misfortune, all of their adversary's soldiers progressed further in their evolution at the pinnacle of a hollow's evolution.

His eyes went to Ukyo, 'If she turns out to be even half as strong as they are, we'll sure as hell be better off in the long run."

Back on the battlefield, Ranma was huffing from using up such a vast amount of reiatsu, "How's that? I _know_ for sure that broke a sweat outta ya, _Sensei_." She wasn't as smug as she would've liked and, normally, would've been upon getting back at a wise-guy. Her powers of wind made her entirely too sensitive of another's presence. She could feel when someone's presence was obstructing the easy current of air in her proximity and instantly gain an insight on that person.

Ranma could tell just how much reiatsu they were rocking and the emotional nature of it. Whether it was cold, warm or even an unholy combination of the two.

It was advanced sensory perception in its finest definition.

Because of this, it wasn't exactly hard to realize Yoruichi wasn't absolutely sweaty with exertion. She definitely tried, though. Ranma felt her reiatsu spiking to another level just before her newly crafted technique made devastating contact with her, but beyond that they didn't drop all that much.

Once the smoke veiling Yoruichi's form withered away, Ranma's breath hitched in her throat at the sight of power that greeted her. An intense, milky white aura flowed from the top of her master's shoulders, coating her arms and spiralling the palm of her offending hand. The once orange jumper that had covered her upper half was nowhere to be seen, revealing her sleeveless black shirt that clung to her shapely figure.

"Holy hell. What is that?" Ranma murmured, awestruck by the shrouded Yoruichi in front of her, "That's some intense stuff. Gotta be to leave her topless like this"

"Not bad," Yoruichi said, lowering her arm and moving toward Ranma, "You used Kaze Ni Dengeki as a diversion for your real attack." Had Yoruichi been any slower Ranma might have actually succeeded in her goal in disorienting her.

Ranma crossed her arms, "Don't patronize me!" She demanded, drawing a chuckle out of Yoruichi, "Hey, what is that thing anyway?"

"Oh, this?" Yoruichi asked with mocking ignorance, speculating her shrouded arm as Ranma nodded, "This is Shunko," Ranma's wondrous stare of desire was priceless. She looked, for intents and purposes, like a kid who just spotted an awesome new toy she wanted her parents to buy for her, "Maybe I'll teach it to ya one day."

Ranma pouted, "Aw, like I need ya to teach it to me! I'll learn it myself!"

Yoruichi chuckled at the likelihood of her claim. Given the right requirements of her ascended form Ranma could possibly decipher it and make it her own. Yoruichi didn't see why not. Ranma took to her hado techniques like a fish in water, taking little time in deciphering them to integrate them in her own unorthodox fighting style.

She was without a doubt a prodigy among prodigies. Even adapting her style to fit in hers wasn't evident enough then her creating her own speed technique from using Shunpo and her other technique as a basis certainly was.

"Well, I suppose now is a good time as any to take a break," Yoruichi said, her eyes drifting over to the newcomers, "You have company."

Ranma nodded, having sensed the presence of her long-time childhood friend and another just before she unleashed her strongest attack, "Sure do," She swung round, pivoting on her heel with a bright smile on her face. Just before she could call out to her long time friend from childhood, Yoruichi's sobered voice scarce of the playfulness stopped her from doing so.

"We do need to talk though."

Ranma turned back to her, tilting her head in wonder to her change in attitude, "What about?"

"About your fear of cats."

Ranma winced, "Aw, I was afraid you'd say that," She slumped, "Look, if this is about me freakin' out when I first saw ya as a fuzz butt sav-."

"It's not about that," Yoruichi quickly downplayed, and the lack of anything resembling a taunting expression left Ranma baffled. If it wasn't about poking fun at her being afraid of her cat form then Ranma didn't know what it was about, "It's about you overcoming your fear of cats so you can grow stronger."

"Grow stronger by getting over my cat phobia? Whaddya mean?" Ranma asked before doing coming up with her own deduction, "Wait. Do you know about the Cat Fist?"

"Yep," Yoruichi admitted, typical sly smirk returning to her lips, "You could say it was something sacred to my clan."

Ranma was left floored by the admission. The Cat Fist was a style exclusive to Yoruichi's clan. A shinigami clan. Her mind immediately went through the otherworldly possibilities in which her father could've used to obtain the information pertaining to the intricate and traumatising workings of the Cast fist but each time she did she just came up blank, "Wow."

"We'll talk about the specifics later," Yoruichi assured, casually sauntering on past her, "Go talk to your friend. I'm sure she's been missing her favourite little redhead."

Ranma pouted at being called little but otherwise was happy to delay the seemingly inevitable reattempt of mastering the dreaded style that scarred her, brightly pivoting in the direction of her childhood friend, "Hey, Ucchan!"

Taking that as a cue that the sparring match between the mighty speedsters was over for the time being, Ukyo's face split into a wide smile as she hopped down from the platform they were on and broke off into run, "Ranchan."

The redhead met her half-way, "Yo, s'up? Nice to see ya."

"Back at ya, sugar," Ukyo said with sincerity, and now that she was within touching distance of her once-upon-a-time suitor, she looked her over. She couldn't quite put the pieces together, but something about Ranma's style looked altered to her, "You look different somehow."

"Oh, you must mean my hair!" It was obvious to her that her old associates would notice any difference in style in her. She kept the same style without ever changing that they had come to identify her with braided hair, or Kuno's case, pigtailed.

A turn of her head revealed her ponytailed styled crop of red hair, taking Ukyo aback, "A pony tail."

Ranma softly grasped the end of the unusual design of her hair with a fond smile, "Yuzu-chan suggested I oughta try out new styles, so I thought 'What the hay?' and changed it for the first time in ever."

Ukyo blinked, "Yuzu?"

Ranma released her gentle grip on her hair to caress the back of her head sheepishly, "Right. You don't know her," Ukyo just stared at her blankly as if not being able to comprehend the Ranma in front of her before her expression softened; a smile seeping across her lips, "She's Ichi-chan's sister. She's the sweetest little thing ever."

"Ichigo has siblings?"

Ranma clarified with a nod, "Uh-huh. Two little sisters, twins in fact. Even know they're only eleven they're real mature for their age."

Ukyo tilted her head to the side in curiosity, "Really?"

"Yeah," Ranma insisted, taking a moment to compare the twins with everyone from Nerima, "Now that I think of it, they woulda put us to shame in maturity like a week ago."

Ukyo's expression soured at the reminder of their immaturity, "Yeah, well, we didn't have what anyone would call stellar role models."

Ranma held up her grin, though awkwardly rubbed her arm, "Yeah I guess," She shrugged and just as easily changed the subject, "So what brings ya around these neck-of-the-woods? Not that I'm not happy to see ya. Just curious."

Ukyo's expression hardened with a smirk, "Well I would hope so, as someone who used to be your favourite fiancée," Ranma smiled at the joke, softening Ukyo's grin before it fell just as it appeared, "We got trouble, sugar, and its name is Nabiki."

Ranma's own lighthearted smile dropped as her blood ran cold, "Lemme guess, she actually teamed up with that Aizen-guy."

Ukyo nodded solemnly, "Yeah. Even worse, she's even gone and recruited those stupid jackasses Kuno and Mousse. Both of them are still heads-over-heels nuts for you and Shampoo by the way."

Ranma grasped the bridge of her nose in irritation and shook her head, "Why am I not surprised?"

"Do you think they're gonna get turned into those Arrancar guys?"

"Probably," Ranma shrugged, sounding a little too eerily calm for Ukyo's liking, "Honestly, both of 'em would be dumb not to. That's the only way any of those numbskulls could ever hope to even take on Mr Urahara's kids let alone Mr Urahara himself, Ichi-chan or other guys around their level," She looked toward her friend inquisitively, "Oh yeah! Did'ya know Mr Urahara's little helpers are actually really strong?"

Ukyo's eyes darkened as she flashed Ranma's fellow redhead a dirty look over her shoulder, "Yeah… let's say I've had experience."

Ranma grinned awkwardly, ascertaining there was already bad blood between Ukyo and Jinta. He did strike her as something of a brat with his belligerent personality. Ururu often found herself on the short end of the stick with him. Perhaps a word for in order to teach the boy the proper ways of treating a lady?

"I wonder what type of Arrancar those jackasses will end up as if the worse happens?" That warranted Ranma's attention. She wasn't alerted that Arrancar even had types.

"What do you mean?"

Ukyo cocked an eyebrow, "Don't you know?"

"Know what?"

"About the three stages of a hollow."

"Naw," Ranma shrugged, "I know about 'em being vengeful human spirits wandering around looking to fill the void in their empty hearts till a grim reaper guy purifies their asses, but beyond that, nuthin'," She followed up with a reason for this, "Didn't seem important at the time, but I'm curious. How do ya about that?"

"Ran into Ichigo before I got here and we ran into other Shinigami guys."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Said they came down here to back him up," A thumb was tossed over her shoulder to the platform hanging in the air, "See that red haired guy over there?"

Ranma peeked over her shoulder, spotting Renji having a conversation with her master, "Yeah."

"He's one of 'em," Ukyo explained plainly, getting a nod from her friend, "He came to crash at Mr Urahara's in the meantime. The others said they would find other places to camp."

"I see." Ranma said, a little mischievous smirk curving across her lips from Renji's freeloading intentions, "So what did they say about the hollows going through stages."

"The little guy said hollows normally go through two phases of evolution before reaching their final state, though it's kinda a rarity that one ever gets to that stage," Ukyo began, giving Ranma food for thought.

"I see. What are they?"

"You have these Gillian-class hollows. They're like the everyday hollows you see usually. They come in a few varieties, though. He even said there's a group of 'em taller than skyscrapers, but they're little more than foot soldiers," She quickly downplayed before her friend could get the wrong idea, "Then you have these Adjuchas-guys. They're a lot smaller, but a hell of lot more powerful than the Gillian freaks. They're tough enough to take on guys on Ichigo's level."

"Holy hell," That was a horrifying fact to learn. She was starting to get a better understanding of Kuno's and Mousse's decision to join up with Nabiki as two of her and Aizen's soldiers. Hollows could be damn formidable, especially to those with reiatsu pools still dormant as Ranma's last and only encounter with a hollow could verify. Her only regret about her defeat to that particular hollow was letting Ichigo "slay" it, because it meant that hollow was her first ever opponent to hand her a stain on her records and not get one on its in return as most of her opponents do if they managed to beat her once. But she supposed she still had the Arrancar to pacify her superiority complex.

If Ranma beat one of them then proving her superiority complex to regular hollows wouldn't be an issue as it would be already just by logical power-scaling.

"Yeah, and the Vasto Lorde hollows are even more powerful than 'em and a lot more humanoid as well," Ukyo further elucidated, eliciting an impressed whistle noise from the redhaired girl.

"Wow… talk about a godlike hollow, huh?"

"Yeah, those guys are top dogs where hollows come from. Once a hollow reaches that stage in their evolution they've made it; hit it big as far as their culture's concerned," Ukyo said, shaking her head, "The little guy said they were only a small minority of those divine things, but they still had him on edge. Said even one could be much stronger than a captain without being powered up by Nabiki's fella," She shuddered, "Can't imagine how much stronger they will be with that power."

"They're gonna be the real-deal that's for sure," Ranma remarked bluntly, caressing the back of her neck in tired annoyance, "Least we don't have to worry about any of those blockheads becoming gods."

"What makes you so sure they won't become Vasto Lorde?"

"Do you even need to ask?" Ranma asked boredly, dropping to her rear in a relaxed leap, "Can you imagine Kuno or Mousse on top of any crop?"

"Good point. They've always sucked."

"My point 'xactly." Ranma said, felling to the surface in an eagle spread.

Ukyo surveyed her chilled posture of insouciance with a keen, inquisitive eye before her expression softened with a smile. Girl or boy, Ranma was still that easy-going, bright beacon of self-confidence she always was. Maybe that was why she had fallen for her guy side. Regardless of the immeasurable height of the adversities each of them faced throughout their misadventures, they always seemed small with her around. She had that leader charisma that kept the troops rallied no matter the situation.

Ukyo propped herself down next to her, tucking her knees to her chest, "Oh yeah. You'll never guess where that jackass Ryoga ended up, sugar!"

Ranma pried open one eye, "Lay it on me."

"Heaven."

Ranma shot up like a bolt of lightning.

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Get out!"

"Nuh-uh."

"No kidding?"

"Yeah, he actually got lost and found his way to heaven, which is actually called the Soul Society by the Shinigami."

"Oh man! He's really gone and done it now!" Ranma laughed, her blue eyes twinkling with mirth as she playfully nudged Ukyo, "You see? That's more like it! That's a juicy story if there ever was one! C'mon, I wanna hear all about it. Don't leave anything out, y'hear?"

XxX

(Hueco Mundo)

XxX

A dark, barely lit tavern would mark the ceremonial induction of the newest member of the king and queen's primary fighting force; the Espada. It was a circular room of stone elevated platforms, giving off the feel of a Colosseum. Most of the elite Arrancar who'd yet to be revealed were shrouded in the shadows, but others like Grimmjow and Ulquiorra were out in plain view with other nondescript Arrancar.

"Gentleman." Sat at the pinnacle of the stoned platform were the king and queen themselves, on two plain white stones fashioned as two makeshift thrones. A polite, quiet clearing of the throat elicited a sheepish smile out of him, "My apologies, and ladies," The resulting silence was his answer of his subordinate being pacified, so he continued, "First of, I would like to apology for any inconvenience this sudden summoning may have caused you."

"This about the new guys?" Grimmjow asked, hunched forward in contemplative thought on his stone step.

"Yes, though this gathering is only in regards to one of your new comrades," Aizen explained, drawing a raised eyebrow from Grimmjow, "His progression from human to hollow was an anomaly in of itself and not something I expected. Because of this, I have determined he should be inducted among your elite ranks at the expense of Aaroniero Arruruerie imminently."

The declaration sufficed to capture the attention of the current Espada. Even the ones half sleep either pried open an eye or jolted up in interest at this. Entry into their ranks was not something to be handed out lightly. The fact was established as explicit with the plethora of Espada-rejects and hopefuls. Ironically, it could have been just as difficult for an Espada to maintain their spot as one of the elites.

All it took was the emergence of another exceptionally skilled Arrancar usurping them in the ranking like was the case in the newcomer's induction or a loss of power for one to be relegated to an inferior league of Espada.

In other words, an Espada dropping a tier below was the equivalent of a football team being relegated from the premier league to the Championship. It just wasn't the same.

"Surprise the fat ass wasn't the one to drop to the second rates."

"Hey, you asshole!"

"What? It's truth, ain't it?" Grimmjow challenged, shooting a cocky grin somewhere above in the vast shadows, "You've got the lowest number out of all of us here. Don't get pissy at me for just stating facts."

"Grr."

"Oh boys," The playful tone of their co-boss was the equivalent of loud, blaring alarms going off as they jerked upright, turning to her with narrowed eyes of barely concealed apprehension, "Let's not fight. I'm sure Sosuke-baby had his reasons for removing a seemingly more dangerous Arrancar from the elites instead of Yammy," The colour of her eyes flashing red was what really inspired the two confrontational Arrancar to reward her with their full reluctant cooperation of silence, "Right, Sosuke-baby?"

"Indeed, dear," Aizen said appreciatively, inwardly impressed with his queen's mental grasp on _their_ soldiers. Her powers were developing quite nicely, "You see, Aaroniero Arruruerie was also an anomaly, in that he was the only Gillian-type, vice-captain-level Arrancar among you."

"Still doesn't explain how he ever got in here let alone above fatty," Grimmjow grumbled, poking holes in Aizen's explanation and irritating the lowest numbered Espada at the mention of his weight, "Mind explaining how some scrub even gets to the top?"

"You're right to be sceptical, Grimmjow," Aizen allowed, "And in all actuality, he wouldn't have normally ever breached his way into the Espada if it weren't for his unique ability; the power to absorb other hollows and consume their memories. It was a capability I felt would open many doors to psychological torture," His smile turned a tad bashful, "To put it in less eloquent terms, I'm something of a sucker for that sort of approach to combat. Due to this bias for psychological tactics, I deemed him a greater threat than that of Yammy in despite of him only being lieutenant-level."

Nabiki smirked in her relaxed posture. It was fairly clever of him putting the blame of integrating a below-average Arrancar into Espada onto himself. In doing so not only would it increase the morale of the team knowing it wasn't them in why they were grouped with a lower tier Arrancar, it would take the heat from his decision to include a lesser Arrancar among them off of him.

"Now that the misinterpretations are cleared up, I trust they'll be no more." Silence was golden in this case, "Then I ask of you to rise to welcome your newest comrade's induction among your ranks with open arms," The silhouettes followed by Grimmjow and Ulquiorra stood, "You may step forward…"

From the shadows emerged the cursed fighter, glasses still affixed to his stern, grave visage and stomach as wide as a drunk's beer belly.

"Genma Saotome…"

There weren't many changes to note in Genma's appearance other than his clothes. He now bore the attire of an Arrancar, the distinctive milk-white kimono long-sleeved jacket fully zipped to his neck and similarly coloured hakama complete with wooden sandals affixed to his feet. Atop his head was a milk-white mask with two ear-shaped horns, and the end of the mask was curved to the brim of his neck like a piece of his lost beloved hair.

He wouldn't know it yet but he bore the same spiritual weapon of his child, though his hand daggers was an actual Zanpakuto equipped with hoisters on each of his knees. The blades themselves were like folks almost. Two, relatively thin blades were on each dagger and spaced out, brimming with electrical power.

"First off, I would like to congratulate you on your early induction into the Espada."

"Thank you," Genma said, visibly chuffed.

"As you might have heard, instant entry into the Espada is usually not something to be handed out on a silver platter, but the circumstances surrounding your evolution were unique and divine. Because of this, I felt you were due special treatment."

"You had me at 'divine,'" Genma grinned from ear to ear.

"As you should feel. Out of all of you and your fellow recruits, you were the only one to reach the final phase of your hollowfication and emerge as a Vasto Lorde."

The tension in the room dropped to a knife edge. It wasn't something any of them could say surprised them. Miffed? Yes, but definitely not shocked. Genma's transformation into a divine phase of hollow had come coupled with an emergence of immense oceanic reiatsu so large - yet not large enough - that even the less perceptive Arrancar felt his tremendous surge of power. Naturally, few were willing to believe the nigh-impossible had been made possible. The Vasto Lorde state of divinity was a coveted phase among Adjuchas hollows as they endeavoured to maintain their second state by continuously devouring other hollows. Tragically, most would never even reach the power of a Vasto Lorde's transcendence let alone mingle with them in their divine realm of power and usually just ended up regressing back to Gillians.

Naturally, with the ease of which their newest comrade had evolved into their coveted transcendence that made light on its difficulty came jealousy. The ones feeling jealous didn't say anything, but they distributed enough hostility in the room to thicken the tension to insufferable degrees, making Genma sweat, "I see," He said, expression now scarce of pride. He inhaled, fisting his chest with purpose, "Then I swear on my honour as a martial… uh, Arrancar to live up to the expectations of a Vasto Lorde Espada!"

Aizen smiled, "I expect many great things from you, Saotome-san." He really did so. Genma's powers were truly the thing that turned him from an extraordinary warrior, to the most dangerous man on the planet. They were almost nigh-impossible to fight against. Cloaking himself in invisibility, to amplifying his strength to levels capable of bringing down _mountains_ and materializing anything from thin air were just touching the waters of Genma's most lethal abilities.

With such a dangerous man on his side even the Head Captain of the Seiteirei – the strongest Shinigami no one had ever come close to usurping in power in the thousand years he had been alive – seemed much less of a substantial threat now.

'Perhaps, I won't even need Wonderweiss to seal the old man's Ryujin Jakka with him on our side now,' Aizen contemplated, his eyes turning to the young woman beside him. Noticing his stare Nabiki smiled, grasping his hand in her own, 'If that plan fails I always have her,' Why would he stop there? 'Beneficially, the old man's defeat would be all but inevitable if Nabiki and Genma-san engage him together.' Yamamoto may have had the strength to rule all three worlds, but he was still a senile old man. It would be child's play for his queen to get within his head, making sure the need to release his Zanpakuto doesn't even concur to him so Genma could pick him off.

Just to be safe he would configure Wonderweiss as a seal regardless. One could never have too many fail-safes when they were going into war, especially with what his queen had told him about her old roommate; Ranma Saotome. She was a quick learner who could come up with strategies almost on the fly, but she was also extremely cocky. That would be her ultimate downfall when she fought Harribel.

Victory would surely be his

* * *

 **Alright, alright. Genma gets perhaps the biggest buff of them all by becoming a Vasto Lorde but as Aizen mentioned he's the only one. But yeah, buff for Genma, buff for Ranma, buff for Ryoga, buff for Shampoo, buff for everybody, xD. I will fully admit I did underpower the Ranma cast at the start of the story a little too much. Something had to be done about that. Not that I mind when one series just curb stomps the ever-loving shit out of another series. Saying I do would be borderline hypocritical. I just gotta be in the right mood, e.g pissed to enjoy a good curbstomp fic and it has to focus on one main character crossing over. Given that I consider both Ranma and Ichigo the main characters of this fic I just won't be able to go that route and enjoy writing it.**

 **Ranma needs to have an impact too. It makes writing this story funnier and - I hope - it makes reading this story funnier for you guys too, but lemme know what you think in the review section. Do you like this buff? Do you think it was needed? Stupid? Unnecessary? Nonsensical? Your reviews will influence the speed of the updates. You don't review, I don't see the need to pump out chapters, thus I take longer and longer breaks in between writing chapters until I decide "Fuck it. I'm cancelling it. No one's reading it anyway." Keep that in mind**


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